Oh no what's wrong with my Aqua?

Everything was cool and we didnt talk for a week, then I called and he said he was thinking of me at that momet and he then proceeded to tell me about his week. He seemed chipper. I couldnt engage fully in convo bc I was heading to a restaurant to meet some friends, and I just told him I was going to a restaurant to meet a guy friend and some girls but it was work related. Suddenly he was quiet, and I said "Hello are you there?" He said "ya i 'll just talk to you later" in a\ gruf\f\ tone. I said I want to hea\r a\bout your week\, he said "no later". I then said I will call you after my dinner,but he replied "NO I will call you" and he said bye a little too hastily! I kinda sounded sad but I said ok. But my evening wa\s\ ruined\ cause i was\ tak\en a\ba\ck by how gruuff he became in a sec when he sounded so happy to hear from me!
I dont know what I should do now. After dinner I kindof sent him a text letting him know I hope he has a good week. Of course no response.
Did i d something wrong. Is there something I need to do?
What happened guys—

It's pretty obvious. He's jealous of the other guy you were having dinner with.
Aqua's contrary to all the stuff you read are extremely jealous but will NEVER admit it - oh and don't you ever display jealous tendencies towards their gallavanting off with other woman!!!

Perhaps explain to him that the other guy is just a friend and that your heart lies with the Aqua no one else. Perhaps arrange that the two of them meet to perhaps soothe the Aqua's suspicions.

Its not exactly jealousy.

What is it then??

I am seeing something a bit different here - I do acknowledge that I do not have ALL the facts so please do take this into consideration.

You called him while on your way to meet other people - there is nothing wrong with doing this IF you stated to him that you were thinking of him and wanted to say hi however you only had a few moments to talk and would call him later if that worked.

"I couldnt engage fully in convo bc I was heading to a restaurant to meet some friends, and I just told him I was going to a restaurant to meet a guy friend and some girls but it was work related." ------> seems to me that you were pretty clear to him. My guess that the reason he became quiet was to make you feel guilty - it worked didn't it? My question to you would be - why on earth would you need to feel guilty about stating what you were doing? there is NO reason. No one can make you take that "guilt trip" unless you choose to take it. You did nothing wrong - you were honest and upfront. He is a big boy and if his feelings were hurt then this is something HE needs to work on and figure out.

"Suddenly he was quiet, and I said "Hello are you there?" He said "ya i 'll just talk to you later" in a\ gruf\f\ tone. I said I want to hea\r a\bout your week\, he said "no later". I then said I will call you after my dinner,but he replied "NO I will call you" and he said bye a little too hastily!" ------------> his response to you is a form of manipulation - trying to make you feel bad for what you did - in a round about way he is letting you know that HE is more important than you yourself are and if you begin to fall into his moods directing your path....you will loose yourself and fall into the trap of ......hmmmmm what shall I do? will this upset him? can I say this or will he be upset? soon, you will be walking on egg shells and you will wonder at what moment did your self esteem go *poof*

See how you are already experiencing CONFUSION?

Your best bet is to truly know what you like/do not like, what feels good/bad and keep trusting your incredible instincts - DO NOT ALTER YOURSELF DUE TO A MAN'S REACTION OF WHO YOU ARE.

*if I have completely misread this post - please do accept my apologies

Ya I am thinking from all of your responses that you are all partly right. Partly that yes it was insensitive of me to call just minutes from my dinner (ya dont forget I am an ARIES... haha self centered at times, but he has moon and venus in aries so he should get that about me). Of course my timing could have been more appropriate, but I knew if I called after it would have been too late to call him. I really was thinking of him at that moment and felt like just saying HI spontaneously (the arian that i am i dont think before my actions). He thought it was freaky that I called as he was about to pick up the phone too. He said that is so strange as far as our timing. He seemed genuinely surprised.
Yes I did mention after a couple of minutes of the conversation that I am heading to a restaurant. As far as the guy he had already met him before and he knows he is a coworker of mine and he seemed to like him. I did mention it was a work dinner and a couple of other girls would be there.
I do know guys can make you feel guilty. And there have been times if he did that to me I never got upset at him.
Anyway, I never thought Aquas get jealous. He is always coool as a cucumber and he always told me that he never got jealous with any of his exes. So I was surprised at his reaction.

So my best bet is to just chill and let him deal?

Its so funny how so many people here there aqua bf's have moons in aries. Is there an epidemic? lol
my aqua has mars in aqua what does that mean?
i have sun in aries, ascendant leo, moon in aries, venus in leo, mars in libra
he sun in aqua, ascendant aries, moon aries, venus aries, mars aqua
i just did a free astro program on the net to calculate

Oh really? Thats cool, except I dont feel so confident after that mess up on the phone! Thanks for the heads up. You know a lot!

"This will show your confidence and your complete disregard of what he thinks...which will make him respect you more"

I like that. Haha it sounds like something I would naturally do by being my self centered independent tough damn care self lol
Another moon in aries aqua this is interesting!

ITs always a double standard with Aqua's they wont return a text, phone call, or sos if they are busy but when its done to them awh send the troops out if you will..Its the end of the world or so they make you feel.I agree with freebird you explained to him quite clearly what you were doing I think it was quite nice that you called to say hi since he had not even been intouch with you..Aqua men can have very childlike needs sometimes and they expect you to drop everything emotionally and physically for them..Don't feel bad its just one of those things, talk to him about it and go on..

I agree 100% !!!!!!!
I daren't ignore his calls or take too long to return the ones I missed....I start getting messages to the tune of why are you not taking my calls, or why are you not talking to me anymore— I once fell asleep and when I woke I had 9 missed calls in the space of an hour and when I did finally call him back I was told never never to ignore his calls. Oh and another thing...NEVER put the phone down on an Aqua. I tried it once and now when I've had enough (when we're having a telephonic argument) I rather say to him, ok I've had enough of this conversation, I'm not putting the phone down on you but I don't want to talk to you anymore so good bye.
He's never missed my calls but sometimes he'll only respond to a message 6 hours later....

I've learnt to accept it....I think he just gets busy (in his head). So if it's iimportant I rather call.

Yep I agree too. Thats ok I can handle him wanting for me to always be loyal and answer the phone. But now he last left off "NO I will call you."
So now I would feel kinda stupid to actually call him now. I know he said that in an irritated tone, but if thats what he said he wants then that will have to be.

What do you thgink guys? I am not going to babay him and said awww cmon lets talk blah blah blah

Right?

"With aquas, the less talk, the better."

I hear ya sista 🙂

I've noticed with my Aqua - when I'm mad at him, he'll leave me alone for 24hrs and then I'll get a message along the lines of..."over your pms??", or "have you stopped being a bitch??". It's a humourous attempt to get me to talk to him again. Also there have been times where I've said to him, give me a call when you're in a better mood - usually takes a day and then I get a call. So maybe try this same technique with your Aqua - don't baby him with ah let's talk honey....send something saying, have you gotten over yourself followed with a smiley...might actually want to talk to you again in the future...
He's fixed, he's stubborn...mine tends to give in but I don't think that's the norm with Aquas so perhaps you're going to have to.

BTW - last night my Aqua tried to get hold of me but there was something wrong with my phone. Didn't even ring, when straight to voice mail. He hung around the corner trying to reach me and eventually rocked up on my doorstep frantically. Didn't even bother to knock, just barged right in and asked me what was wrong. I was obviously a bit confused. It freaked him out that he couldn't get hold of me....but calmed down when I turned my phone off and back on again and his messages started coming through. They CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT stand being ignored!

He was a mood to talk, he was happy to hear your voice and you brushed him off. You ruined his mood, now pay the price. He'll sulk till you show him how much you need him.

"For some reason, he got all pissy (probably because he wanted to see you??)"

Yep Onefineaquarius, I got that feeling too.

Yep Aquadingdong, so I am paying the price. I texted him something noce that night and left it at that. I have to just give him his space.

LeoAqua, I like that technique. I will apply it next time. For now i will give him some time for him to get over my "rudeness and self centeredness". HOW DARE I IGNORE KING AQUA! lol 😉

Ok so I am sitting here thinking. WTF—
After some analysis, I say Look I did NOT brush aqua OFF!!! I am the one who actually called to say HI! Which was REALLY nice of me! It was a whole week since our date and I spontaneously called to say HI FIRST! Damn nothing wrong with that! I didnt have to call. Ya so what I was on my way to see friends. Hey I have to have a life too... doesnt he—

I guess I am just gonna let Aqua sulk all he wants and ignore it. I got better things to do than worry. If he is going to be a baby, I dont want to encourage that, dont you think?

I know I know. Your right. He IS getting to me! Darnnit! Thanks for the headsup you smart cancer you!

Hmm did someone say something? 😉

lol

Freebird said, "his response to you is a form of manipulation - trying to make you feel bad for what you did - in a round about way he is letting you know that HE is more important than you yourself are and if you begin to fall into his moods directing your path....you will loose yourself and fall into the trap of ......hmmmmm what shall I do? will this upset him? can I say this or will he be upset? soon, you will be walking on egg shells and you will wonder at what moment did your self esteem go *poof*"

This is so true and if you want a relationship with this guy, expect more of this. Throw in his insensitivity to when he reverses the role, the usual double standard. Don't dare get mad at him for doing the same to you and expect him to understand it. It won't happen. So yeah, there's a lot of manipulation and mind games involved with an Aqua. As 1 Aries to another, see if it's worth it to you, they do have a lot of positive points but I could never get past them myself to make it worth it to me. Take it slow (as with any relationship) and don't apologize for something that isn't wrong even if he tries to make you feel bad.

Ok guys now it's August 4th. Last I talked to mr aqua was 7/21 as you all know.
All of you seem experienced in dealing with disappearances except me! I try to act like I dont care but maybe I do.

Being my aggressive Arian self, I have a good mind to call up or leave an email asking him who the F does he think he is. I didnt do anything wrong!

I was still nice and have sent him a couple of texts since. Like he acts like I am nonexistant! What th e F—
There was an accident on his workplace lot and I actually called him and asked him to let me know if all was okay. No freakin bloody response. Isnt that mean—

I know last he said in a gruff manner that NO he would call me yet I called him bc of accident.

Now what does that tell you when he was okay with me and loving and affectioante the last time i saw him the week before our last convo?

I am confused. I have to do something. This is wrong! Right—
Please give me feed back.

Mistery I dont know if I know how I should deal wiuth this. Obviously he doesnt care. Its like he can shut off this switch in an instant. Is he cold. Did he just decide to dump me based on a conversation that didnt go his way? UGH!

UnCancer, you said just let him come to me. That isnt the point right now. The fact is I am offended and frankly now feel disrespected. I want to tell him off. I dont know how to get it in his head that that is just plain wrong the way he has behaved.

Help!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! 😢

But Star I did call him! I even left a voicemail last week asking him to call me about wjhat I heard happened at work, that I kbew there was some sort of accident there. I said to him: let me know you are well evn for a sec. He didnt have the courtesy to reply! So anyway I still texted him on the weekend saying HI. So enough right?

I just want an explanation. It is my first aquar man ever so it strikes me as bizarre.

Of course I am going to ignore him. But I ask all of you even aquar guys, whats the deal with that meanness? Why? WHat is going on in that head when I have never done anything to smother him nor have I been gushy mushy or emotional— I am a cool cat in front of him and always tuff!

Ok Ok try thanks Star for your help.

Aquas are complete weirdos!! I totally feel your pain Bel.

BellaArian, I hear ya loud & clear. It is frustrating. The only time I've ever been stood up was by an Aquarian I dated about a year ago. Turned out he was a drunk and would passed out before we were scheduled to meet. I left numerous messages on his cell, worried about him and he never answered them. Then he has the audacity to call me for a date a week later without any reference to what had happened before. WTF??! He never even acknowledged my messages. When I brought it up he just pushed it aside as if it were nothing. So, yeah I'm not saying the guy is a drunk but when confronted with your worry about him and he doesn't respond..., that does tell ya something. He isn't the warmest nor most compassionate type of guy. Do you really want to date this type of person?

If his feelings towards you changed or whatever his reason, it isn't worth you 'telling him off'. Obviously he doesn't care how you view him so telling him off wouldn't matter. He isn't worth your energy. But, for what it's worth, I've known a few Aqua men who didn't have 'issues' and were quite romantic and wonderful so don't let that scare you off of them. Dating is for finding out who the person you're with is really like and it looks like you found out. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

another one of those fleeting deals\

soon, you will be walking on egg shells and you will wonder at what moment did your self esteem go *poof*

See how you are already experiencing CONFUSION?

Your best bet is to truly know what you like/do not like, what feels good/bad and keep trusting your incredible instincts - DO NOT ALTER YOURSELF DUE TO A MAN'S REACTION OF WHO YOU ARE.





Boy, do i know this to be SOOOO TRUE of my aqua dude! You could not have gotten better advice an believe, if he wants to be there, he will be in touch.
I have been through some stuff w/this aqua dude of mine in almost 2 years, and i assure you, each time i start moving away, here he comes. I still dont know what he really wants (similiar to the FWB....now friends thread) and I allowed him my friendship, but let me tell ya, he came one night and got into my tub and basically begged me to take him back into my bed. That is no joke. So they can do some pretty strange things 4 hours he made me feel bad and boy o boy, did i want him< UMMMM YES! needless to say, i had been saying no to him frequently from March to May of this year, prior to March from Oct, didnt really have any contact w/him other than Holiday convo and his B-day well wishes on voicemail. So, I can tell ya, dont go into confusion and loss of self esteem mode w/him, you can get lost, I DID!

''BA, did you ever stop to think that maybe he is consumed with what is going on at work and that is where his attention needs to be? Instead of being selfish and worried about why he is being so distant, why dont you SHOW him you care and let him know he can count on you to be there for him during his time of stress? Perhaps bring him dinner one night and DONT stay over. Just let him know you are there for him and LET IT BE!!!!! He will come to you if he wants to. ''

you make some good points but because she didn't make him dinner, she's selfish? didn't she show she cared by calling? :-)

''BA, did you ever stop to think that maybe he is consumed with what is going on at work and that is where his attention needs to be? Instead of being selfish and worried about why he is being so distant,"

In a "healthy" relationship....a man will make time for his partner and she will NEVER feel distant. There will also be communication IF the man cannot call because he is busy. RED FLAG - if a man is too busy at work for you then you are NOT a priority in his life.

Time to skadaddle I'd say and chalk that one up for a lesson learned.

''Time to skadaddle...''

Easy wasy out and instinctive to Aries - patience patience patience BA

"Easy wasy out and instinctive to Aries - patience patience patience BA"

Hmmmm...interesting. Appears to me by BA's post that she is not happy...who in their right mind needs to be patient waiting for a man to change or better yet...why would any woman need to stay in a relationship (on the sidelines in this case) wasting valuable energy and time for a man?

Continue to be patient in this case is a drain on the emotions. Very, very unhealthy.

But....one must do what one must do 😉

No the emotion drain's because it is being handled the wrong way - there needs to be communication compromise for both and walking away doesn't achieve this.

It's only been 2 weeks! I know - lifetime for aries but 2 mins to Aqua.

BA, my honest feeling is....it's been a while, he got into a huff over something very silly (basically you never made him your first priority in his mind - Aquas are EXTREMELY selfish if you ALLOW them to be). Most can overcome their little bruised ego but it seems yours cannot. If this is how he behaves after you brushing him off (even though you did it innocently) imagine when the real relationship (if ever) kicks in along with it's little ups and downs——? Perhaps out of 365 days a year you'll see him on 50 of those - the remaining 315 he'll be sulking—— Over stooopid stooopid things like this—
My advice is to get over him?? No Aqua, even in all his Aquaness, would ignore someone they really liked for this long. This may sound cruel and blunt, but girl perhaps he just wasn't that into you...
If you should hear from him again in the future cool beans, but expect this behaviour again should you decide to let him back into your heart. He sounds incrediably immature - not a bad person but very immature and self-absorbed. I don't think you'd cope. Not many woman would.

zenal....your position is just wrong. it advocates for catering to rudeness and groveling for scraps. no person, man or woman, should be sitting around making excuses for a person who allegedly likes/loves them. she needs to move on. no tell off needed. he is not worth her time, just as he has mroe than adequately demonstrated that he does not feel she is worth her time. and make him dinner? drop it off? are you insane? why would she go to his house when he cannot even answer a text? that is crazy.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

lol

"he is not worth her time, just as he has mroe than adequately demonstrated that he does not feel she is worth her time. and make him dinner? drop it off? are you insane? why would she go to his house when he cannot even answer a text? that is crazy."

Nice to meet you LeoKitten, Oh such a cute profile picture!
Thank you for that part. I was reading the post about dinner and I felt like throwing up if I had to do that! It would make me look like an complkete doormat and idiot! He is treating me like I am nonexistant and how do I reward that by catering to him even more—
Oh my, it was some sort of accident at work. HE was not the one involved, aAND i did have the courtesy to ask him to call me to let me know HE is alright! I said evn if you have a sec at least text it to me. It has been a few days since that text, and the weekend has passed. Pulease, imagine if i had been so dumb as to run to his house and bring him dinner—? He would surely be laughing at me as I left his house!
I cant believe people would BLAME me for not being caring enough—?

"If this is how he behaves after you brushing him off (even though you did it innocently) imagine when the real relationship (if ever) kicks in along with it's little ups and downs——? Perhaps out of 365 days a year you'll see him on 50 of those - the remaining 315 he'll be sulking—— Over stooopid stooopid things like this— "

THanks LeoAqua, well put.
Thats why I relate to fire signs. We will NOT take crap!

"If his feelings towards you changed or whatever his reason, it isn't worth you 'telling him off'. Obviously he doesn't care how you view him so telling him off wouldn't matter. He isn't worth your energy."

Thanks Mistery. By soul sista!

"There's really nothing you can do. Forget about needing an explanation. Why? He's flakey and non-communicative--there is your explanation."

Thanks UnCancer that sums up why> That JERK>

"Aquas are complete weirdos!! I totally feel your pain Bel."

Thanks Pisces.
Its not pain for me. It is anger, anger at myself for actually worrying that I am the one at fault. I still feel I should say something to him. Is it really effective to just sit back and let him disrespect me like that! I feel like a fool and by keeping quiet what does it accomplish?

"who in their right mind needs to be patient waiting for a man to change or better yet...why would any woman need to stay in a relationship (on the sidelines in this case) wasting valuable energy and time for a man?

Continue to be patient in this case is a drain on the emotions. Very, very unhealthy."

Yes yes Freebird, absolutely!

Thanks all you guys for the great advice. At least I feel Validated that I did nothing wrong and that it is jerks like these men who try to make the woman feel wrong. Ooooooh I am just seething. I feel like just wacking him on the head for giving me grienf. Ugh!!!
(dont worry i wont for real)

Oh and LeoAqua I guess your right that he must not be into me. Golly I really couldnt tell that last few times we were on a date. He is always holding my hand and massaging it and looking deep in my eyes and always laughing when he is around me. The weird part is the suddenness from acting like he is so damn into me and texting me when could he see me, to suddelnly growing cold after on dumb phone call that was completely casual! WEIRD!!!!!

Oh and LeoAqua I guess your right that he must not be into me. Golly I really couldnt tell that last few times we were on a date. He is always holding my hand and massaging it and looking deep in my eyes and always laughing when he is around me. The weird part is the suddenness from acting like he is so damn into me and texting me when could he see me, to suddelnly growing cold after on dumb phone call that was completely casual! WEIRD!!!!!

You might never know why but at least you know that he is this way inclined and can make a decision whether or not to pursue.....better now than later I think. You've tried, you've been patient and short of turning psycho there's not much more you can do. Take console in the fact that you have at least learnt something in this. 🙂

Oh and LeoAqua I guess your right that he must not be into me. Golly I really couldnt tell that last few times we were on a date. He is always holding my hand and massaging it and looking deep in my eyes and always laughing when he is around me. The weird part is the suddenness from acting like he is so damn into me and texting me when could he see me, to suddelnly growing cold after on dumb phone call that was completely casual! WEIRD!!!!!

You might never know why but at least you know that he is this way inclined and can make a decision whether or not to pursue.....better now than later I think. You've tried, you've been patient and short of turning psycho there's not much more you can do. Take console in the fact that you have at least learnt something in this. 🙂

I am ignoring now. He sent me a text with the word HEY written on it today. No apology no explanation like nothing ever happened. WTF— I want to chew him out. But I will choose to ignore him like you guys suggest. Maybe i will check out an adoring Leo guy.