krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Aquas! We need to do better!
Ha! Now no one can say that I've never spoken on Aquarian flaws! =P
Aquas........you need to be yourselves.
The End.
The End.
Krysenee7 is a very wise Aqua. You can totally 'upgrade' the human race to better species if you want to. People would think Scorpio and Aqua clash in opinions but I just have to agree with every of your posts in this forum.
I don't think Krysenee7 is a Cancer because I've been in this forum for years and she's always posted as an Aqua. She certainly has something different from a few Aqua I know. Some of them just go very extreme but Kryseness7 seem to use her logic and emotion in a pretty good balance.I wonder if you have lots of earth influence in your chart that probably make you more grounded, Krysenees7?
I don't think Krysenee7 is a Cancer because I've been in this forum for years and she's always posted as an Aqua. She certainly has something different from a few Aqua I know. Some of them just go very extreme but Kryseness7 seem to use her logic and emotion in a pretty good balance.I wonder if you have lots of earth influence in your chart that probably make you more grounded, Krysenees7?
Well Said Krysrenee7
^^kudos^^
🙂 and 😢 @ K7
🙂 Because any self-reflection is healthy and beneficial
😢 Because what is it that you think you need to do better at?
Most of the Aquas I know and that are a PART of my life (not just in it) are the greatest Friends I could ask for. They TEACH by leading by example. (What do we teach Arch?) Well, i'm glad you asked K7 and yes, I would be happy to share 😛 You teach others how to be INDEPENDENT. Independent in thought and action. You allows others to be themselves w/o judgement. You guide without imposing (blow a light breeze as opposed to a stiff wind)
You laugh/tease others playfully for their behavior/flaws because deep down, you know you are not perfect(although some will beg to jest) but it's nothing more than a humble/distant appreciation for others. You like just about everybody and that is where the confusion can set it, because others can read more into what is actually there. But, that isn't your fault. Thats just the way you are.
As far as considering another persons feelings, I find Aquas to be the MOST considerate of anothers feelings.....to a point because you know exactly what it's like when the tables are turned. And if the stiff wind has to blow....there is usually a reason.
I don't see the disappearing as a flaw/bad thing. Usually its because you need time to think/digest things. And if a partner can't understand that and respect that, then I say move on. Why continually waste your time trying to explain "how you are" to someone who just dosen't "get it" and probably never will. (they may SAY they understand, but truth be told, some just don't speak the lingo)
I for one happen to enjoy the emotional detachment of Aquas. I understand it, and can read it well and it is the most peaceful place to be. I can understand it is hard for those who require a bit more emotion in relationships because to them that is what demonstrates that you care, but let's be honest, constantly reassuring someone emotionally is draining. So, why should you feel bad if that relationship didn't work out? You are who you are, so just be. It's that simple.
🙂 Because any self-reflection is healthy and beneficial
😢 Because what is it that you think you need to do better at?
Most of the Aquas I know and that are a PART of my life (not just in it) are the greatest Friends I could ask for. They TEACH by leading by example. (What do we teach Arch?) Well, i'm glad you asked K7 and yes, I would be happy to share 😛 You teach others how to be INDEPENDENT. Independent in thought and action. You allows others to be themselves w/o judgement. You guide without imposing (blow a light breeze as opposed to a stiff wind)
You laugh/tease others playfully for their behavior/flaws because deep down, you know you are not perfect(although some will beg to jest) but it's nothing more than a humble/distant appreciation for others. You like just about everybody and that is where the confusion can set it, because others can read more into what is actually there. But, that isn't your fault. Thats just the way you are.
As far as considering another persons feelings, I find Aquas to be the MOST considerate of anothers feelings.....to a point because you know exactly what it's like when the tables are turned. And if the stiff wind has to blow....there is usually a reason.
I don't see the disappearing as a flaw/bad thing. Usually its because you need time to think/digest things. And if a partner can't understand that and respect that, then I say move on. Why continually waste your time trying to explain "how you are" to someone who just dosen't "get it" and probably never will. (they may SAY they understand, but truth be told, some just don't speak the lingo)
I for one happen to enjoy the emotional detachment of Aquas. I understand it, and can read it well and it is the most peaceful place to be. I can understand it is hard for those who require a bit more emotion in relationships because to them that is what demonstrates that you care, but let's be honest, constantly reassuring someone emotionally is draining. So, why should you feel bad if that relationship didn't work out? You are who you are, so just be. It's that simple.
I think what K 7 was trying to say is perhaps mentioning when the wind of dissapearance sweeps the aquas along, that they at the very least leave a note...
Posted by caprio
I think what K 7 was trying to say is perhaps mentioning when the wind of dissapearance sweeps the aquas along, that they at the very least leave a note...
That is exactly what I was saying.
I chose to write about this particular trait about us Aquas b/c this is the 1 thing I notice other signs complaining about the most.
If Aquas were ok with others pulling the disappearing act, that'd be 1 thing. BUT most Aquas aren't ok with it, thus the "treat others as you'd want to be treated" creed applies to us too. If we'd walk away thinking, "He disappeared meaning he's def. NOT that into me," then we can't expect for others to come to a different conclusion when the tables are turned. And since Aquas hate when their loyalty is questioned/challenged, I felt it only fair that Aquas sometimes get out of their OWN minds/box for a second & recognize how their actions affect others
I'm all for Aquas being themselves. Same with Cancers. They'll always be "emotional." I don't think people have a problem with this. It's the EXCESS that causes problems. Any time you're losing good things moreso than gaining or keeping them around, that's cause for that "talk" to have with yourself & time for a little "tweaking." Tweaking doesn't=changing.
Technically, a person's flaws are "who they are." So why advise someone to keep being a complete bxtch, just for the sake of making sure they remain "True" to themselves? Oh please! If something about you is causing more loss than gain, there's a chance that the trait is fixable or tweakable. And anyone who is afraid of growth is NOT someone who should be looking for a relationship
AAAAAAMEEEEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!! - to everything Krys wrote.
Most of the time, an Aqua has ALREADY told you/hinted at you about what needs to be tweaked, you just didn't listen or chose NOT to.
One thing I admire most about Aquas is their ability to admit when they are in fact too close. Usually by that time, they've already been burned/drained because they've invested their time in someone that just "dosen't get it". I've been there and I've learned to let go of "tweaking" others to what I think they "should" be and learned to see them as they are and accept them as such. Acceptng others as they are IS letting go (i.e. you're "note") non-verbally of course. Does it mean I advise them to continue being who they are ( a bxxch, mean, etc...) no. For me, it's just easier to let others come to the realization on their own......with a little guidance and TLC 😉
One thing I admire most about Aquas is their ability to admit when they are in fact too close. Usually by that time, they've already been burned/drained because they've invested their time in someone that just "dosen't get it". I've been there and I've learned to let go of "tweaking" others to what I think they "should" be and learned to see them as they are and accept them as such. Acceptng others as they are IS letting go (i.e. you're "note") non-verbally of course. Does it mean I advise them to continue being who they are ( a bxxch, mean, etc...) no. For me, it's just easier to let others come to the realization on their own......with a little guidance and TLC 😉
@Arch: It's NOT about tweaking or molding others into what/who we want them to be. It's about tweaking SELF so that your relationships/friendships with others are prosperous and/or so that they don't have to be more complicated than necessary.
It's about being able to look inside yourself & acknowledge when certain FIXABLE (keyword) things/traits about you are causing you & those close to you, more heartache than pleasure.
It's like the girl who has a chip on her shoulder. She sub-consciously convinces herself that the "Don't F with me!" sign on her forehead is somehow "protecting" her, BUT what she doesn't realize is that she's already answered her own question when she walks around at night wondering why she's still single. It's not that the men in her life should vow to change her, but moreso that her flaw is changeable, thus it wouldn't make logical sense to purposely ignore something fixable unless you're OK with horrible results. And most people are NOT ok with the horrible results.
There's a difference b/w a "phase" & who someone is. You can't change who someone is, BUT the person themselves can tweak themselves if need be. And you shouldn't be afraid of looking in the mirror, tweaking things within yourself or growing as a person.
Are you "changing" just b/c you walked into a job interview with a suit on, even though you really wanted to wear sweatpants? NO! It's survival of the fittest. If you want certain things, you've gotta play the role & fit the part. You can be the person who feels entitled to wear those sweetpants b/c you figure that you oughta be yourself & still get the job, BUT being that person won't result in anything but employment! So you can hold on to that negative trait & keep losing, OR you can tweak it & yet still be yourself & get the results you wanted
It's about being able to look inside yourself & acknowledge when certain FIXABLE (keyword) things/traits about you are causing you & those close to you, more heartache than pleasure.
It's like the girl who has a chip on her shoulder. She sub-consciously convinces herself that the "Don't F with me!" sign on her forehead is somehow "protecting" her, BUT what she doesn't realize is that she's already answered her own question when she walks around at night wondering why she's still single. It's not that the men in her life should vow to change her, but moreso that her flaw is changeable, thus it wouldn't make logical sense to purposely ignore something fixable unless you're OK with horrible results. And most people are NOT ok with the horrible results.
There's a difference b/w a "phase" & who someone is. You can't change who someone is, BUT the person themselves can tweak themselves if need be. And you shouldn't be afraid of looking in the mirror, tweaking things within yourself or growing as a person.
Are you "changing" just b/c you walked into a job interview with a suit on, even though you really wanted to wear sweatpants? NO! It's survival of the fittest. If you want certain things, you've gotta play the role & fit the part. You can be the person who feels entitled to wear those sweetpants b/c you figure that you oughta be yourself & still get the job, BUT being that person won't result in anything but employment! So you can hold on to that negative trait & keep losing, OR you can tweak it & yet still be yourself & get the results you wanted
@ K7 Please don't misunderstand, I get and understand the tweaking of the SELF. That's why I said I like to let them come to realize that on their own (with some guidance 😛) If they choose to tweak, so be it. If not, so be it.
I understand your example, I deal with individuals like this everyday....lol
What I was getting at was, I see alot of people trying to "tweak" themselves to adapt/adopt to a person/job/enviornment and it usually comes at the expense of the person doing the self-tweaking. By then, the person is so confused and drained and left feeling like they don't even know who they are anymore. So........when that happens and the results are horrible, why continue to stay in a place where one is not happy?
As far as "playing a role to get what you want" maybe I'm misunderstanding, buy why play a role and pretend to be something you're not? The way I see it is if I have to be something I'm not to get what "I" want, then I probably was not meant to have it in the first place. Eventually things will come to a head and then, well all you have is spilt milk. What happened to earning what you want and still maintaining integrity?
I understand your example, I deal with individuals like this everyday....lol
What I was getting at was, I see alot of people trying to "tweak" themselves to adapt/adopt to a person/job/enviornment and it usually comes at the expense of the person doing the self-tweaking. By then, the person is so confused and drained and left feeling like they don't even know who they are anymore. So........when that happens and the results are horrible, why continue to stay in a place where one is not happy?
As far as "playing a role to get what you want" maybe I'm misunderstanding, buy why play a role and pretend to be something you're not? The way I see it is if I have to be something I'm not to get what "I" want, then I probably was not meant to have it in the first place. Eventually things will come to a head and then, well all you have is spilt milk. What happened to earning what you want and still maintaining integrity?
@Arch: I agree. Sometimes it's best to change/tweak yourself b/c YOU wanted to & not b/c everybody you know wanted you to. I always tell people to do/change things for the betterment of themselves, not me. I believe change is more consistent when someone does it for self vs. for someone who probably wouldn't notice/appreciate the change anyways. So I agree with you 100% on that.
And then there's the cases where others can see your flaws better than you can. Sometimes it's not such a bad thing for others to expect the best from us b/c how we see ourselves is NOT always how others see us. And if the change being requested of you IS fixable & something you needed to do ANYWAYS, you're technically not gonna lose anything by changing.
All is fair in love & war. Yeah it sucks to have to "play the part" just to get something you want, but that's LIFE! We can't change that.
This theory doesn't just apply to love & relationships; it applies to all other areas of life too. Whether we like it or not, we all play some kind of part in our careers too. How many times have you went into work with a smile on your face just for the sake of being professional & keeping your job EVEN THOUGH you really wanted to break down & cry & walk in wearing sweatpants? Sure, you playing the part may have made you uncomfortable all day b/c you had to fake a smile, BUT 1 thing playing the part gave to you was allowed you to keep your damn job, thus a roof over your head!
If playing the part gets what you want & doesn't result in you losing yourself, there's nothing wrong about that at all. If you lose yourself, ok that's 1 thing. But if not, change shouldn't be something as a last resort, especially since we'd have better lives & make better choices in our lives had change/tweaking been our 1st resort in most situations
And then there's the cases where others can see your flaws better than you can. Sometimes it's not such a bad thing for others to expect the best from us b/c how we see ourselves is NOT always how others see us. And if the change being requested of you IS fixable & something you needed to do ANYWAYS, you're technically not gonna lose anything by changing.
All is fair in love & war. Yeah it sucks to have to "play the part" just to get something you want, but that's LIFE! We can't change that.
This theory doesn't just apply to love & relationships; it applies to all other areas of life too. Whether we like it or not, we all play some kind of part in our careers too. How many times have you went into work with a smile on your face just for the sake of being professional & keeping your job EVEN THOUGH you really wanted to break down & cry & walk in wearing sweatpants? Sure, you playing the part may have made you uncomfortable all day b/c you had to fake a smile, BUT 1 thing playing the part gave to you was allowed you to keep your damn job, thus a roof over your head!
If playing the part gets what you want & doesn't result in you losing yourself, there's nothing wrong about that at all. If you lose yourself, ok that's 1 thing. But if not, change shouldn't be something as a last resort, especially since we'd have better lives & make better choices in our lives had change/tweaking been our 1st resort in most situations
i agree with what he said. im goin through a similar situation rite now with a capricorn and im aquarius !! he disappeared tho
Krys, you're totally right. I noticed that I do the disappearing act cause I get hurt easily and get scared of that feeling. And also since Aquas are the best at leaving without goodbye, I do it a lot, but it's just a weakness of character to be scared of being vulnerable and pathetic. Oh no, someone has the power to hurt me. We Aquas need to get over it and stop lying to ourselves. We only wish we were so cold that we don't need people. We're only that way cause we've spent a lifetime doing that cause it feels safe. To 0987654321234567890, grow up. You are not so cool that you are an island. Peninsula, maybe, but either way you're on this planet and get hurt like the rest of us
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic because it's the interwebz, but whatever. I'm tired of fronting. It's fake as fuck. I hurt like everyone, maybe even more so. I think cancers are braver than aquas in this sense 'cause they aren't afraid of looking stupid on the behalf of their emotions.
As much as I love aquas, this is the one reason why I am hesitant to date more of them.
Yeah, fuck aquas. We suck to date 'cause we're such pussies when it comes to love, which is why they are "cold" (aka scared). I'm just glad I found another aqua, who gets me and shit.
It's not the ex's fault or anything like that. Things just don't work out. A lot of times because people refuse to be mature and adapt to eachother. And yeah I do an insane amount of self-loathing, but I think everyone should, but only in moderation. And no I don't shop a lot. I eat my emotions instead.
I think I only lucked out with my aqua cause I finally matured up and owned up to my emotions, instead of hiding behind my fancy aquarian mask.
Posted by 0987654321234567890Posted by Candeh15
As much as I love aquas, this is the one reason why I am hesitant to date more of them.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. We are a broken people. 😉click to expand
My mother's an aqua. I'm still alive now, aren't I? lol
Posted by CookiePusher
Yeah, fuck aquas. We suck to date 'cause we're such pussies when it comes to love, which is why they are "cold" (aka scared). I'm just glad I found another aqua, who gets me and shit.
I mentioned this many times before, but the aqua I was seeing a while back I felt was honestly perfect for me, and he did the whole aqua running and shit, but he did the one thing most didn't: he actually told me he wasn't ready and then he took off. Painful, but he got my respect in the end and it still remains today lol. Although, I did yell at him for some of his texting habits.
Posted by Candeh15Posted by CookiePusher
Yeah, fuck aquas. We suck to date 'cause we're such pussies when it comes to love, which is why they are "cold" (aka scared). I'm just glad I found another aqua, who gets me and shit.
I mentioned this many times before, but the aqua I was seeing a while back I felt was honestly perfect for me, and he did the whole aqua running and shit, but he did the one thing most didn't: he actually told me he wasn't ready and then he took off. Painful, but he got my respect in the end and it still remains today lol. Although, I did yell at him for some of his texting habits.click to expand
This is exactly how I am. Everyone whom I consider important or long-term potential (friendship or relationship-wise) knows this about me up front. I purposely make this known about myself so that the sting from the blow of me disappearing won't sting as much =P
I'm telling ya...when people are prepared for something, they're more likely to be more understanding. Plus, it's all about timing. The worst thing an Aqua can do is disappear on their date/partner around the time the other person is really going through alot! Ohhhh boy
Hummm, I've thought about this post. I really don't ever remember just disappearing and not saying why if it's for the long term. I'll have my speace, sure, but disappearing with no word as to why? Nah, it's a cruel way to treat people.
I'm gonna admit I didnt read all this but have been trying to cut (what I consider) a "toxic" Aqua from my life for some time now. She's either crazy (which I dont blame on the sign!) or refuses to see what the problem is altho' I've made it plain and clear. Narcissist w/out any apologies or acknowledgement of bad behavior whatsoever. She keeps coming back like a bad nickel when I am DONE. 😢
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If we're gonna disappear, the LEAST we can do is NOT do it in a way that causes us MORE loss than gain. Disappearing to "regroup" may be great for US, but when you get into a relationship, you have to trade the "I" for "WE" & start realizing how your actions (or lack of) affect others.
We should be able to be true to ourselves (needing space & the occasional need to run) w/o having to lose every good thing in the process.
This lesson is especially true in the beginning of a relationship when the other person is trying to learn & understand us. When we disappear w/o an explanation, NO they're not thinking, "Oh, I'm guessing they left me high & dry b/c they really like me!" They're thinking the opposite!
When we can't afford to lose someone, our actions need to reflect that. We have to balance our desires/needs with the other person's feelings. It's NOT about changing who you are, but moreso "tweaking" certain things about us so that we're not constantly losing or battling with people we really don't want to lose.
We need to treat others the way we'd like to be treated. We respect someone who needs space, but we DON'T respect someone who needs it & disappears & is OK with us being drained, confused & angry. So we have to assume that when we do these things, others feel that same sense of "F this! I'm done" just like we do when the tables are turned