Consoling

Aquas aren't very good at that, are they?

My Aqua sucks at it.

Aquas have mastered the Art of:

1) awkward back pats

2) stoic visage when faced with tears

3) sounding completely baffled as we say "I know, it sucks, it will get better" because nothing about that statement makes sense to us.

4) Hiding behind alcohol.

When someone close to me died my Aqua ex affair invited me to go play baseball together the next day. That's something we often did, and we talked and goofed around meanwhile. I was pretty tense but didn't really show it.. Then he took me to have lunch outdoors and there was a moment when I exhaled out of desperation as if thinking what the hell am I doing here and it turned out he saw it and he suddenly felt ashamed for dragging me out as some kind of an experiment and bought me ice cream. : ) And all the while he kept telling stories and made me laugh. It was a good time and I'll never forget it but I sometimes wonder if I would have needed something else, a touch on my face or a kiss on my forehead at least. Later he said it's not OK that I was so put together a day after losing someone close and I should go see a doctor lol. (I did, six months later.)

When an Aqua needs consoling, they generally retreat into themselves and take space away. Therefore that's what they offer.

You have to ask them specifically for what you need and they will try to accommodate. But the hugs might be robotic and awkward. Like those frozen hugs with an awkward pat on the back.

They are much better at talking it out. Like for hours. Or giving space. Talking or space.

What turned a corner for me and my Aqua was a 3 month separation, during which an event occurred in my family that literally turnd my world upside down. By chance, he happened to call me out of the blue 2 days after the event (my dad was in the CCU at the hospital and had a 50/50 chance of surviving).

That man became the most SOLID shoulder to lean on besides my dad. Stroking my hair and holding me and kissing me while I sobbed uncontrollably. He and my dad did NOT get along (dad literally hated him).

So when it really counts, absolutely they know how to console. Its the "minor" dissapointments and superficial hurts that they're not really sure how to deal. Maybe because to them, they're not worth falling apart over in the grand scheme of things.

Until an aqua gets in touch with their emotional side (the "I'm sad and it's okay", "I feel ignored and hurt it's okay" etc) they will never know how to comfort someone else. We run from emotion. It is not logical. We (think) only need logic.

I used to be that. The older I get I am getting better at consoling my friends (typically through dumb girl stuff like...guys lol). I lost a couple friends because they felt like I judged them for being emotional when in reality I just didn't know HOW to console someone so emotional when I only knew how to tap into logic.

When we are emotional keen we are the best shoulder to cry on. All my friends and past relationships tell me I've helped them out of major emotional traumas and to be honest I never realized it. Why? Because I did what aquas do. I consoled them as a friend (No hand holding, major hugging etc), just encouraging words and getting them out of the house.

Overall: you can't expect someone to understand your emotional state when they try so hard to ignore their own.

Posted by sultrykitty
What turned a corner for me and my Aqua was a 3 month separation, during which an event occurred in my family that literally turnd my world upside down. By chance, he happened to call me out of the blue 2 days after the

event (my dad was in the CCU at the hospital and had a 50/50 chance of surviving).

That man became the most SOLID shoulder to lean on besides my dad. Stroking my hair and holding me and kissing me while I sobbed uncontrollably. He and my dad did NOT get along (dad literally hated him).

So when it really counts, absolutely they know how to console. Its the "minor" dissapointments and superficial hurts that they're not really sure how
to deal. Maybe because to them, they're not worth falling apart over in the grand scheme of things.

This, I gravitate to try to be the gray rock of reason. When it is needed I will empathize and lend a shoulder. Too often I see that ploy as a trap so I a may seem stand off ish. I have had a great example of a Leo Dad so you really cant get better then that.

You need to really talk to your aqua, being there for you in a time of crisis, may not mean being there for you. We are great, solid friends, don't confuse that for some weird commitment. Just saying.

He does know how to calm me down, and he tries to cheer me up with sex jokes. The intent is there.

Sometimes what I need are hugs, kisses and nice words

Im currently in the process of quitting smoking. I'm in my second week (going into 3rd on Tuesday) and I have been an emotional mess. Anger, frustration and oh my bloody god the CRYING. It has been endless. My aqua man has been absolutely incredible towards me. Hugging me when I need a hug, cradling me when my lungs were in fire and I couldn't breath properly, telling me how much hes proud of me getting through the toughest time during the quit considering ive done the cold turkey method, reassuring me that I haven't been a pain in the ass (cause thats what I feel like right now)

For an air sign, he doesn't seem phased by my emotions. He has been a rock.

Aquas are relaxing to me..

Posted by Gennie
Aquas have mastered the Art of:

1) awkward back pats

2) stoic visage when faced with tears

3) sounding completely baffled as we say "I know, it sucks, it will get better" because nothing about that statement makes sense to us.

4) Hiding behind alcohol.

I'll add,

5) Uncomfortable hugging practice.

I am guilty of that. Never comfortable with the gesture.

All aquas seem uncomfortable with any type of physical contact if they are not close to the person.

Posted by Scorpgurl
All aquas seem uncomfortable with any type of physical contact if they are not close to the person.

My close friend's mum hugged me and I respect her a lot. Still, it is like, I am unable to reciprocate it which sucks.

Agree, anybody not close hugging will leave me breathless. LOL

Posted by AquaStorm

Posted by sultrykitty
What turned a corner for me and my Aqua was a 3 month separation, during which an event occurred in my family that literally turnd my world upside down. By chance, he happened to call me out of the blue 2 days after the

event (my dad was in the CCU at the hospital and had a 50/50 chance of surviving).

That man became the most SOLID shoulder to lean on besides my dad. Stroking my hair and holding me and kissing me while I sobbed uncontrollably. He and my dad did NOT get along (dad literally hated him).

So when it really counts, absolutely they know how to console. Its the "minor" dissapointments and superficial hurts that they're not really sure how
to deal. Maybe because to them, they're not worth falling apart over in the grand scheme of things.

This, I gravitate to try to be the gray rock of reason. When it is needed I will empathize and lend a shoulder. Too often I see that ploy as a trap so I a may seem stand off ish. I have had a great example of a Leo Dad so you really cant get better then that.

You need to really talk to your aqua, being there for you in a time of crisis, may not mean being there for you. We are great, solid friends, don't confuse that for some weird commitment. Just saying.

click to expand

Thanks....if that was specifically for me, we've been together for 27 years. Pretty sure that's a commitment! :-)

Posted by Gennie
Aquas have mastered the Art of:

1) awkward back pats

2) stoic visage when faced with tears

3) sounding completely baffled as we say "I know, it sucks, it will get better" because nothing about that statement makes sense to us.

4) Hiding behind alcohol.

This is my sister. But she has shown me her emotional side...when she's been drinking.. Lol

My Aqua friend hates hugs. My Grandma let me hug her more as we/and she got older. My sister will hug me. I'm a Libra, she knows I need hugs. And she has no choice, she's my sister. Lol

Understanding emotions are/were not their strong point, but being with them does comfort me. It's weird.