First Loves

Just curious if male and female Aquas remember their first loves and if you think about them at all? What age did you experience your first love? Of course the age old question is do you ever get over your first love?

I was 16-17 when I met my 1st love. Other than my current husband, my 1st love was the only other man I've ever loved fully.

It took me a lonnnnnnng time to get over my 1st love. I thought about him almost every other day for yearrrs after we'd broken up. At 1st my thoughts about him were filled with anger b/c of what he did back then, but then they turned to sadness, & then to simple curiosity...ya know...what he's doing, what he's made of himself, how his love life has been since we broke up, etc.

It's not that you can't get over your 1st love. It's that you won't ever forget the feeling of what real love is once someone has succeeded in bringing it out of you. It's not that you're still attached to the actual person, but moreso you're attached to the bravery in you that it took to love so deeply

Losing a 1st love takes a lot out of you, often leaving you to wonder if you'll ever fully feel that feeling again. Allowing yourself to feel that deeply again with someone different/new while knowing that doing so could result in a million broken pieces of your heart again is the hard part!!

We Aquas may break away quickly but we never forget....never

*Sighs* My first love... I was 15.

It was SO clich?! I was in Spain and we had the most awesome time... at the beach and going out. I'll never forget it

I was 15 when I met mine. It was great but I just chalk it up to being too young. I often think about him and its been many many years. He's engaged now and I hope he's happy. Krysrenee7 - you are right it's not that I'm not over him, but I think I just miss the feeling of love he gave me. I have never loved another man with the same depth that I loved him.

Do you think you love your husband more fully than your first?

To me the first awakening of love is something that can't be duplicated, or at least for me it hasn't been. I guess I just haven't found the right one yet..SIGH

Helena- sounds like a Summer of Love 🙂 that's what mine was. Sounds beautiful! Why is it those seem the hardest to get over? Lol

Very happy to hear both answers it gives me some reassurance that maybe he thinks about me every now and again 🙂

Posted by GetKist
Krysrenee7 - you are right it's not that I'm not over him, but I think I just miss the feeling of love he gave me. I have never loved another man with the same depth that I loved him.

Do you think you love your husband more fully than your first?

Well to be fair, there are different kinds of love. And you have to be fair in that the circumstances for finding love when we were kids are completely different now that we are adults! The world & the rules regarding love have changed!!

The reason people can love so freely, so deeply & so purely the very 1st time is b/c they haven't yet been hurt, they don't have any baggage & they haven't encountered the real world problems/responsibilities that often interrupt the flow of loving someone like it does in adulthood

It's like you're an emotional virgin, so of course, there will never be another love like your 1st love. Not b/c your 1st love was the best person necessarily, but b/c anything that powerful coming out of you for the 1st time will never be forgotten & will set the pace for how/who you love in the future

Your 1st love dictates a large part of how you'll love in the future. It dictates what kind of love you're either drawn to b/c it reminds you of your 1st love (good or bad) or stay away from b/c it reminds you of your 1st love (or your dad) (in a good or bad way).

To answer your question, yes I love my husband as deeply as I loved my 1st love but it took a lot more time to fall that deeply as an adult than it did when I was young, pure, innocent & had nothing holding me back.

The older you get, the harder it is to replace the kind of love that you had with your 1st love b/c you're trying to get that feeling back after 10 failed relationships, 10 heartbreaks, 100 bills (stress) & 1000 more problems in life, later!! HUGE difference in circumstances! Which is why teenagers can love so freely! They have all the time in the world to sit around & be in love! They have no bills! They have no real stresses outside of school or maybe family life.

I have always rebelled against the people who swear 1st love relationships are just "puppy love." I hate that term. Yes, we were immature when we 1st fell in love, BUT we loved the HELL out of each other! Some of these teenagers have love & loyalty to each other that is 1,000 times stronger than their parents or adults in their lives!!! T

.....I have always rebelled against the people who swear 1st love relationships are just "puppy love." I hate that term. Yes, we were immature when we 1st fell in love, BUT we loved the HELL out of each other! Some of these teenagers have love & loyalty to each other that is 1,000 times stronger than their parents or adults in their lives!!! That's why 1st loves are so unforgettable! It's b/c you spend an entire lifetime trying to get "that" (not the person) back!!

You put everything into words so perfectly! I agree I have definitely been trying to get the feeling of that first love back with every relationship. Sometimes I think maybe I am not giving the person the benefit of the doubt. I compare the feelings to the ones I had with my first love to the feelings I have in the new relationship. I figure I will just know when it's right again. There is that look into each others eyes that says it all.

I have always thought the same too, that term "puppy love" I hate it. I have to praise my parents though for never thinking what him and I had was puppy love. They could see that we loved each other...many many people saw it, even after the break up friends would tell me how hurt he was. I never got that if he was so hurt why did he break up with me? Lol I had a close friend of his tell me 4 years after we broke up that he talked to him and he said I was the only girl he ever cared deeply for.

Anyways I'm rambling. Adult love is so much harder because the heart has already been scarred. I feel there is a piece of my heart that will be forever missing without his love. I can't say I'm in love with him anymore because I don't know who he is anymore, time and events have changed both of us. I will never forget him EVER!!

Another question, do you think women find it harder to forget the first love and men may be more inclined to be able to move on?

How long have you been married if you don't mind me asking?


I kinda hope some men would shed some light on this subject also..

Posted by GetKist

Helena- sounds like a Summer of Love 🙂 that's what mine was. Sounds beautiful! Why is it those seem the hardest to get over? Lol

Very happy to hear both answers it gives me some reassurance that maybe he thinks about me every now and again 🙂

Because things can't get more perfect then they already where there 😉 Sun, beaches, free time, beautiful places...

First love... I think I was 17 or so. I think about her for sure, infact she's still a very close friend of mine. And as for getting over it, yeah I'm over it! Took some time afterwards tho.

I think I might've pondered the same question beforehand. Until I realised I had to stop doing that and realise the love I give to others will never be the same kind of love. Nor do I want that same kind of love. It was there, it existed, I cherish it and that's it. Moving forwards.

Fan of clean slates tho, if at anytime I find myself comparing things to the past, I stop myself right there, I don't deserve that, she certainly doesn't deserve it.

I used to do all that comparing too. It's like, if I didn't feel the intensity like I felt with my 1st love, I chalked it up to "Nope, you're not the one" lol

BUT then as I grew older & started seeing other couples who truly loved each other, I realized that deep love can feel different. Sometimes you feel it the minute you meet them. Other times you feel it 6 months in. Other times you start feeling it the moment you get engaged. But what difference does it make as long as you eventually feel it?!

Some people don't have the patience nor are they willing to take that risk of wrongfully assuming you're the one unless they feel it in the beginning!

But that is a mistake b/c many happily married couples who are more in love than ever before can attest to the fact that it took some time to reach that high level of love. But it's hard for the mind/psyche to believe so b/c your mind can't stop comparing it to how quickly things were with your 1st love lol

I think 1st love relationships can be both a gift & a curse. The GIFT is that there are things that you 100% want & will demand in a future relationship b/c you realized how special it was when you were with your 1st love. Being treated so great & being loved so deeply is something you won't ever forget, which gives you an incentive to not settle for anything less with the next new guy or relationship

The CURSE though is that we forget that there was a REASON the 1st love relationship didn't work out. And just b/c a future man has some but not all of those traits doesn't mean that he's not just as good for you in the long run.

If you try replacing your 1st love with someone just like him, you might end up in the same kind of relationship that ended just like your 1st love relationship ended! lol To want someone exactly like your 1st love is to ALSO want a breakup as the result. Sometimes you have to remember the bad too so that you don't get so caught up in wanting to replace something that may have been great in 1 area, but horrible for you in others.

I think men take 1st love breakups a lot harder than women.

Why? B/c I refuse to believe that a man conveinantly starts going through his "player" & "variety" stages after he loses his 1st love all b/c of it somehow being a part of his DNA!

The 1st cut is always the deepest. Is it really a coincidence that men start to not want commitment anymore & just wanna "explore their options" after they lose their 1st love?! Yeah right! Some men will go on to play, cheat on & hurt many women simply b/c they never got over the loss of their 1st love, even if they were the one who dumped her.

Some men purposely won't commit or hurt all the women after her b/c it's his way of not getting close enough to another woman, thus saves him from getting hurt & feeling that deep loss again

It's not until a man has slept around, guarded his heart & been the commitment-phobe for a long time that he finally starts to get tired of protecting himself. He realizes that all the tons of women get old & that he's finally brave enough to go out & find real love again.

And b/c men take waaaaaay longer to settle down again after a 1st love relationship, it's only natural to believe that he held off for so long b/c he was still inwardly hurting over his 1st love. Women, on the other hand will gladly go be in another relationship lol We may not be as happy, but for some reason women are a lot more brave when it comes to taking emotional risks. It takes a man a helluva lot longer to get to that point of being brave again, hence the reason I think men take it a lot harder.

Women assume that just b/c a guy goes & screws a bunch of girls afterwards, that it means he wasn't hurting over his 1st love. When in fact, the fact that he's never been 100% committed to or serious with any girl after his 1st love, speaks volumes & tells a different story in that he really WAS still hurting.

I don't think the "player phase a lot of men go through is all b/c they are somehow wired to be that way. I think some of the time a man feels the need to have all these shallow relationships & women around b/c he's convinced himself that doing so will help him to get over the hurt & loss of his 1st love relationship. It's not until many years later (in his late 20's or 30's) that most men finally give in, are finally over it & have the courage to try this "love" thing again.

Will most guys ever admit that though?! Probably not lol

Just curious if male and female Aquas remember their first loves and if you think about them at all? What age did you experience your first love? Of course the age old question is do you ever get over your first love?

I used to think about my two first loves alot when I was in love with them but now I do not think of them like I used to. Age 10 and age 14. I have gotten over both my first loves and myexs and myex.

Actually, I have somehow forgotten the first love at 10, memory of which has been deleted from my mind and all forever. I somehow managed to have been able to sever any ties that this first love had with me.

Makes me feel free!

You get older and realise that it all pales into comparison when compared to the realities of life.

I have gotten over my first love.

It happens.

I guess I have woken up from sleep and realised I have gotten over my first love.

Life's Good!!!

Makes me want to hear that Pinacolada song.

Nice celebratory song to soothe the wounds of old.

I know sometimes that life deals you a mean and nasty hand but it also deals you a miracle that you take with an open heart and all that you have and are.

To be honest for once in my life, I have turned bad and this is why I do not care about my first love at all and after being "good" all my life this is the miracle that life has dealt me.

Life deals you a true turn and it is this miracle you could say that I have taken with full gusto that has me not giving a fuck one way or another about my so-called first love, if you could call it that.

Hard to explain, buy you a rose today that is not participant. Renders nothing!

Sorry to say but you have gone from my memory, faded and fading away to oblivion where you shall stay forever and a day. Oblivious to the truth of it all.

I jusrt do not remember. The memory of the first love has gone.

Reminds me of the song 'Fade To Black' by Metallica and the song from the Doors 'The End'. This must be why I like the songs.

Another the 'memory stills remains' by Metallica.

There is a reason I must like these three songs.

To my first love I bid you a good bye!. Hallaluah!

Oh and to a certain Sir Psycho Sexy, a big THANKYOU!! for allowing me to realise this in my own time and way and not force it upon me.