Aqua Ex drama

Hey Aquas, I'm new here and looking for insight on my Aqua ex motivation for trying to get back together after he has found out that I'm dating someone new. I'm not here to bash or generalize, just looking for insight. I'm Virgo female, he Aqua male. We broke up this summer after a year long relationship. There is much too much to explain so I will keep it simple. We worked together, became close and developed a strange relationship.

We were not "together" officially until 6 months after we started sleeping next to each other every night. Then, he hid me away. I was close with his family but when it came to friends he tried to keep me a secret. He cheated the entire time we shared a life. Multiple times with multiple women. It wasn't cheating every time, sometimes it was just texting women to try to meet up. They all didn't go for it. He lied, he omitted, he deceived. I finally got the courage to snoop on his phone after the second time I came home to all of my belongings (clothes, toiletries, mail) hidden in a closet and finding condoms in his pants pocket. What I found was devestating. I won't even go into detail but just think Adult Friend Finder and staying out every Saturday until 6 am.

Now, I am not blind or an idiot so I had my suspicions for a very long time but believed him when he told me he was being faithful. I loved him, I was willing to give him every chance possible. My mistake. Now I'm seeing someone great and he has found out. He has been showing up at my job and telling me that he misses me and is sorry for everything. He text me the other day that he loved me and was just too much of a chump to tell me to my face. He never showed me emotionally care when we were together, why is he doing this now? Why would he stay with me for a year just to cheat? Why would he decide months later that he does love me and come back to pull at my heart strings? I would never go back to him now that my eyes are open. Why is he doing this?

You met someone else. The challenge is back. He just wants you to be into him again... But I doubt he will change his was.

*ways

Why would your waste your breath on such a looser... You are only give it more power by posting this as he is obviously still on your mind... Please don't be one of the girls that goes chasing after a man like that...

PM

Attention. You might be that person who gave him chances after chances and now that you're actually gone he wants it back. And I say 'it' because he doesn't necessarily what you back.

What's his chart like?

well if you're a "secret" there's a reason. Red flags.

he is not going to be honest with you because he hides you away like you're something shameful.

And, you are seeing someone too, in hiding. You both are hiders. It's kind of weird you would come here to mention all that when it's plain to see. Asking all those questions.

go and ask yourself those questions, virgo dear.

Also, snooping through his stuff. How would you like it if he did that to you?

Its a hurtful feeling when you are someone's secret to his friends. I mean its not like you're wanting to broadcast your personal business but just the acknowledgement that you are the special person is his life, that you exist.

Like what others have said, don't go back. Its a challenge for him to win you back and after you never know he may go back to his old ways and you're back to where it all started. If you are in a new relationship and you are happy, stay with him. Maybe you did have some good times but that's all taken over by seeing his true side. Don't fall for it.

All that you deserve I hope comes from your new partner. All the best x

Posted by Angeleyes17
Its a hurtful feeling when you are someone's secret to his friends. I mean its not like you're wanting to broadcast your personal business but just the acknowledgement that you are the special person is his life, that you exist.

Like what others have said, don't go back. Its a challenge for him to win you back and after you never know he may go back to his old ways and you're back to where it all started. If you are in a new relationship and you are happy, stay with him. Maybe you did have some good times but that's all taken over by seeing his true side. Don't fall for it.

All that you deserve I hope comes from your new partner. All the best x

This.

Plus, OP, it's as if you are "enabling" this. From my little experience, Aquarius men, especially if they have alot of fixed/cardinal in their chart, are super stubborn. You can't make them do anything. And they're too sly as well if you try to suggest things to them, or even attempt. They will buck and believe you are controlling them. It doesn't work. Nothing works. The one you got already has his mind made up about you. He will probably feel guilt like all humans do, because he did you wrong, unless he is a man of empty conscience. And maybe too, they see through the charm and sycophantic ways of charming people, so that don't work either. Geez, these men are really terrible! Just imagining it, makes my head spin. *shakes head*
Better to find yourself a mutable or a cardinal sign.

TO question this behavior, means you STILL care May not be much but you do somewhat.
Forget about him, forget about the hurt, and just embrace the new happiness you found. I dealt with Not going out much with an ex of mine, and I ws always at their house with the family, but when it came to friend outings I was never included, NOW not to be shallow or anything I was very much ut of this persons league, who wouldnt want to invite me out?

But nonetheless, Being a secret & cheating & creeping, He ddidnt ccare to love you much. The aqua that I tend to play tug of war with took me everywhere friends/coworkers...and had alot of my stuff all over their house, and reently a family baby shower...But had someone they cheated on all the time, and never took her places.

No 1 deserves that. You should be with someone who is proud of you in all crowds.

Dont even question his motives, just continue looking forward.

Why would he do that?

He doesn't want you to have any hard feelings about him, so he's trying to win you over.

Also, it could be an ego boost, the challenge of the hunt, the trophy, to see if he can, to see if you'd cheat or turn away from your new guy, who knows.

It's his problem, not yours. Let him stew in his thoughts while you are out being happy. I wouldn't even respond to him.

Thanks for the replies. He is still on my mind occasionally. Especially since he followed me 1/2 home from work yesterday. I'm not afraid that he will do anything to me. I think he is feeling extreme guilt and its causing obsession. I don't know why he is doing this.

I did not respond to his text that he loved me. I have no intention of getting back together. I am dating a wonderful man that I wouldn't give up for anyone! He treats me the way someone who cares about me should! I told my ex that I was seeing someone new and wasn't comfortable with him trying to see me and hug me, but he already knew when I told him.

Posted by jjessa
Thanks for the replies. He is still on my mind occasionally. Especially since he followed me 1/2 home from work yesterday. I'm not afraid that he will do anything to me. I think he is feeling extreme guilt and its causing obsession. I don't know why he is doing this.

I did not respond to his text that he loved me. I have no intention of getting back together. I am dating a wonderful man that I wouldn't give up for anyone! He treats me the way someone who cares about me should! I told my ex that I was seeing someone new and wasn't comfortable with him trying to see me and hug me, but he already knew when I told him.

Good for you! Don't fall for it. He will stop an nothing now that he senses you have moved on!!! Where were his feelings when he was being horrible to you? Chin up 🙂

Posted by jjessa
Thanks for the replies. He is still on my mind occasionally. Especially since he followed me 1/2 home from work yesterday. I'm not afraid that he will do anything to me. I think he is feeling extreme guilt and its causing obsession. I don't know why he is doing this.

I did not respond to his text that he loved me. I have no intention of getting back together. I am dating a wonderful man that I wouldn't give up for anyone! He treats me the way someone who cares about me should! I told my ex that I was seeing someone new and wasn't comfortable with him trying to see me and hug me, but he already knew when I told him.

Good for you! 🙂

I don't think he really wants me back either. According to some of the texts I read, he tries to get with his ex's pretty frequently! And believe me I was surprised when I learned that the apartment he rented while we were together was in the same building as his ex-girfriend! Y'all really don't know all of the crap he did, it would take forever to write it all.

And to lisbethur8, he snooped on my FB, phone and email all of the time. Through the whole relationship. I had nothing to hide so I never said a word to him about it. Except for the time that he accidentally friend requested a highschool friend on my FB. I asked him how that happened and acted like he had no idea. I never snooped until the night I packed my bags, I had had enough of his lies by then.

Virgo-Aquarius. You are your aquarius' sex sign. As an Aquarius myself, if this douche has not shown you loyalty, he never will. Tell him to leave you alone, because if you entertain him further, you will loose. He's playing the mind game. Cultivate your new relationship, Virgo.

jjessa,
Its horrible knowing you had to go through all this. You trusted and he broke that trust so easily and continued to. Sometimes you have to go through something bad for the good to fall into place.

Just be happy. Smile!

He doesn't really want you back. He's doing what a lot of men do in that although he doesn't want you, he doesn't want anyone else to have you either

That's not love. That's not him thinking that he's ready to respect you. That's him being selfish. And selfishness is a trait he's clearly used to b/c deep selfishness is the reason behind a lot of men cheating non-stop

Plus it's natural for human beings to want to chase after something that is running away from them. Women do this too. A man gets her attention the most when he's shrugging her off.

It's kind of like only wanting food b/c it's there & not b/c you're really hungry.

This guy is attempting to get you back b/c he feels that your self-esteem is low enough to take him back. The minute you ignored your intuition the 1st time about him, he knew you were ignoring it & sized you up as the perfect prey...

Cheaters love the kinds of women that will continue giving them their all even when they know they're not getting it back in return. It's the perfect opportunity for a selfish person to use you for all you've got, even if the benefits that he's getting from you are shallow (sex, money, or everything BUT love). It's no surprise that a person will not want to give up those benefits once they're taken

All kids hate candy being taken from them even when they deserved to have it taken. Human nature

Sounds like your relationship with him was all around toxic.

It doesn't really matter why he's trying to get you back now if your intuition is ONCE AGAIN trying to warn you that it's not genuine. So freakin' listen to your gut for once!!!! lol You don't have to learn the hard way every single time or get hurt 1st, and THEN go listen to your intuition way after the fact! That can't always be the story of your love life!

All that matters is that he didn't deserve you then, so he doesn't deserve you now. All that matters is that you now know you deserve better. If you spend all your time analyzing what he's saying/doing now, you're just gonna distract yourself from moving on, thus making yourself more vulnerable to him wheeling you back in & hurting you all over again

Leave him alone. Change your number. Completely strip your life of him. Haven't you hurt & been confused for long enough?! Be your own best friend & give him the middle finger girl!!