Help! Prayers needed!

My wife has and I have had a really messed up relationship. I use that term very vaguely. I give and she takes and takes and takes and takes.
She has run off to another man and essentially put the ball in my court. I do not wish to continue this so called marriage anymore. Too many deep hurts, wounds, and gouges for my poor mortal soul.
Please offer me a few moments of your time in prayer and advice. I've never been divorced before. Four years under the belt here.
Can anybody help out in this matter? I feel like I'm at the very bottom of the barrel.
I know this is not a church. Nor is it a marriage counseling group.
I do know that you guys are great, however! Please respond if you can.
Erick

Poor baby, you need a hug dont you!

I try to live my realtionships by that old Al Greene tune 'Lets Stay Together', whether times are good or bad happy or sad.

Listen, I know how you feel and if you let her get away with this, there will be no end to it in the future.

I am not in a positon to talk, because I was always the one to give in and let him have his way, not anymore!

What happens is I gave him enough rope and he hung himself eventually. My ex lied and made me seem like I was crazy and paranoid. Well, I always new I was right, so I just decided to trust my instincts and I cut the relationship off. I stopped having sex with him and any kind of intimacy. ONe day he got pissed, and the the whole truth came spilling out. He admitted to it and thought that this would change things by him being honest. When it didnt change, he went back to dening it. All I was hoping for was the truth and a sincere heartfelt apology and then MAYBE things could have changed, but it didnt. Things went just like I thought they would.

Look, nobody likes getting divorced or having there marriage fall apart, but it takes two people to want to make it work. Apparanlty you hooked up with the wrong person. Four years is long but it could be worse and the longer you stay the harder it will be to leave, I think. Running off with another man— I dont know too many men that would put up with that!

What about counseling?

Let me know how things are going and I am here if you want someone to talk to.

Khai-Khai

ps--Get yourself a good Lawyer!

Erick stand tall and don't show your heart cause thats what they what to see lessen man to man my, friend life has ways of washing away the old and then when set sail again you catch a new beeeze remeber that tap dancer. : ]
C-B
There are Angels all over.

PS the prayer thats up to you TD do you what to believe, that we all have new roads to follow, and that we are ment to follow.

Hi Erick, I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. It sounds like the 2 of you were not right for each other. In other words not your soul mate and just a karmic one. It's how we learn life lessons until our true other half arrives! Believe me I KNOW that it's true. After 3 failed karmic relationships (some my fault) I finally met my other half (twin soul) 5 yrs ago and it's been HELL ever since! LOL

Know this though Erick your wife sounds very selfish. She will NEVER be happy only because she doesn't know how to be happy with herself and therefore will move on to partner to partner always ending up in either splitting up or divorcing. I know soooo many like her! How sad I feel for her. None of this is your fault. Karmic partners are brought into our lives to learn "life lessons" from our past no matter how painful they are (look up the terms soul mates, twin souls, etc on the net and you'll understand). It's what helps us grow so we can move on thru our life's journey here on earth so we can finally end up with our tru beloved partner. Who we were orignally created from BTW.

I myself have never been married. I've always waited for the right one to come along. He's finally arrived (I'm 41 he's 28) and as the ole saying goes "my ship has finally arrived and of course I'm stranded at the airport"!? Big surprise for a Saggie huh? Thank God for the Saggie sense of humour IMO huh?!

My advice to you is what ever happens good or bad, FEEL the pain, let it sweep thru you, feel it, no matter how long it takes you...AND THEN LET IT GO. Only then can you begin again to live....AND love! That is the one and only reason we were put on this earth and that is to TRULY LOVE! We may have to go thru several karmic partners to find our one and only but oh it will be so worth it when we do, hopefully at the end anyways.

I will pray that the Divine Universe brings you great comfort and strength in your time of need Erick. Please know that you are not alone.

Dang craddle robber Lady Saggie : ] hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Heads up Mr. Erick lifes a dream till we wake-up : ]

Spare me!!!!
About the only thing you said, Saggie, that made any sense, is that the two werent right for each other. It happens all the time, in today's society. It has nothing to do with Karmic lessons or finding Soul mates which is just a bunch of 'new age' BS that feed people's need to get out of taking any responsiblity for the CHOICES they make in life. No wonder the divorce rate is so high!

Marriage to me is a life long commitment. It should take place after a LONG courtship and that way you have time to get to know your mate. Sometimes you think you know the person well enough and then it turns out that one or both werent necessarly ready to be in a marrige. People today dont court each other anymore. What happened to getting to know each other slowly? What happened to going on outings together, picnics, sitting on the porch and just talking or reading to one another, writing each other letters etc...waiting to have sex until later. Now a days it seems like you meet someone at the bar or whatever place you can pick them up and then maybe if your lucky dinner and then straight to bed. In the days of courtship the average length of time spent pursuing your mate was a year or more. This sounds to me like it made perfect sense!!! Maybe we should go back to this method of dating and courting and not be in such a hurry to play house with the wrong person. Although I think it is more about other things today then playing house. I think it is the idea of two incomes are better than one and also to have steady and available sex. We need to put back the romance and mystery and anticipation of falling in love, and not be in such a damn rush to do everything.

Thats just my few cents worth!

Sorry Eric,

didnt mean to turn your situation into a debate on values. Please except my apology.

I hope everything works out for you and stay strong.

love,
Khai-Khai

PS: I too have always rushed into relationships. Sex does that to people. It does to me! So I am really no one to say but after awhile, you learn your lessons and with it self control is easier than going through what you are now and what I have in the past!

Khai-Khai

Dear Erik,

Unfortunately for us humans we have become dependent on others opinions of our lives and our choices. I too have experienced what you are presently going through. I can give you all kinds of knowledge but this will be from my personal path that I was meant to travel for my growth. You are now presented with a challenge for growth, to find YOUR inner strength, to follow YOUR heart and to LISTEN to YOUR feelings. Because we have been given the gift of life, this includes situations that we may find uncomfortable for us. The reason they are uncomfortable is because we have not yet encountered this type of situation. It is now presented to us for our soul to grow. If I could give you one piece of advice in this situation it would be for you to find in your heart to not judge your wife. Who knows why we do what we do, who really knows the past of each person, where they have come from, what they have experienced...all of this is what creates each one of us to who we are in the present moment. Growth for you will to be to find compassion for her and for yourself. Maybe the relationship between the two of you has completed it's mission...maybe you both have learned all you can from each other and it is time to move on with love for each other no matter what path lies ahead. With this type of situation, resolution is also so very important as it will surely be taken to each relationship there after. This is a "journey" learn as much as you can and through all of this please remember to love yourself. You are on a path of discovering more about you....this is a gift that you are about to open.

My blessings to you and to your wife.

Freebird

Thank you all for your comforting words and wise insight. Saggie thank you for reminding me to feel the pain. Perhaps by remembering it all of the suffering will eventually work it's way out of my soul and leave it me standing tall, as C-B puts it. Hell I'm only 5'6" but I stand a good 8' on many occasions. I've been praying for my wifes happiness. She has made an obvious choice and deserves to do what will make her happy. I have been praying for my happiness as well and today was greeted with much friendship. My soul feels as if it is in the process of being renewed and rejuvenated. Thank you Freebird for your insight into the journey of life. This is indeed the right time for a transition. Hell I already feel better knowing that I have the rest of my life to look forward to. I'm going to make the most of it. Life does not end at forty. As the saying goes I'm older and much, much wiser. Sunflower you are absolutely correct about relationships these days. Nobody (including myself) seems to take their time anymore in establishing a firm groundwork for a lifetime commitment. As we all know friendships take a lot of time to evolve and grow. Not just hopping in the sack with your current lover, putting on the blinders and hoping that love will conquer all. Live and learn. Thank you all again.

Erick

Erick,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife. I felt Saggie had some very good points, as well as Freebird. CB, of course too! Do get a lawyer and do proceed with caution. Naturally, it is best to part without hard feelings...but, this is easier said than done.

We all do the best we can in this life. I do believe in karma. Each of us must face our own destiny...whether we believe in such things is actually immaterial as events will happen that fulfill our karmic destiny no matter what choices we consciously make.

I believe you are a good person and I do know you have tried your best with the challenges you have faced. Now you face another challenge. My hope for you is that you will not feel defeated. My hope is that you will be strong, and that you will find the positives that come from this...growth is not always easy.

Life is a journey. I wish you the best in your journey.
Take Care!

P.S. Counseling only works if both partners want it to work. If both are not committed to a successful outcome, then, it is a waste of time and/or money.

Erick,
One last thing...for now (LOL!)...ask your angels to be with you and help you through this. They are always there...but, they need you to ask in order for them to help. (When you don't ask they are powerless to help).

CB and I do agree about angels!!

Wish her all the Luck in the world Erick, but when you make that wish remember the karma invovled be true about it in your heart, never ever hold a cold heart to someone or anyone. : ] 8" hahhaaaaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

You go To Tall [Erick the Man] Life is what you what out of it go for Gold. : ]

Sorry Sunflower but U R wrong! I spent a total of 9 months a piece per man in my instance in the past (what you called "courtship" I believe in your post and what equates to a year and a half in my book per man). How would you answer that one SUNFLOWER? I am curious? Here are 2 men that I pissed away a year and a half's worth of time only to be OUT a year and a half's worth of time. What to you make of that Sunflower? Is is still time in this instance? BTW both of "these mens" problems were the fact that both of their "south's could NEVER RISE" if you know what I mean!

Does it STILL fall under the courtship theory if the MAN CAN'T PERFORM? Or does it fall under the women's 'butterTY LUCK'? You apparently seem to be the courtship expert of, "regardless of circumtances" so please do tell!? Tell me would you keep a man YOU could fit in a timble- and still have extra room or would you move on in the courtship?

For me I wasted on these 2 losers a total of almost 2 yrs. of my life that I will never get back so PLEEEEEESSSSEEE STUFF your COURTSHIP THEORY.....where it belongs and that's up YOUR ARSE!!!!!!

I'd like to see a law passed where ALL men are allowed to stroll bottomless so WE women can she what we could be getting! Definitely would save a lot of time for me!

Penis's do come in all shapes and "sizes" huh?

Hey CB...haven't you heard? Our bodies are just a "transportation system" for our spirits!? Has nothing to do with robbing any cradle!

I feel I'm WAY younger than he'll ever be in this lifetime! I swear these cappy men need to get it together IMO.

Either way I love him CB and he is truly my soulmate! Our soulmates span a difference of at least 20 yrs. difference so therefore there is no doubt that he is mine....and he is CB! Trust me on this one!

Getting back to the subject...
Erick, my heart goes out to you.
I hope you read my above post.
Don't forget to take care of yourself!
Stress is hard on a person..

Lady Sag just Joking : ] you go lady hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thank you all for your comments, kind words, and suggestions. Thank you especially for the prayers.

Erick