How to deal with a Aqua

My story is I met this Aqua male, we use to work together and he would come in everyday and smile at me, and so one day I came in he said I could talk to him and he gave me his number and I gave him mine, he told me he wasn't with no one ( I didn't ask him was he or wasn't he with anyone). So since that has happen I asked him why did he give me his number he said because I was nice. So my question is we have been talking about moving to second base, right now he has a heavy work schedule so once he find the time then he said we would get together. So I am a Gemini so dealing with him do u think that he has feelings or an attraction or just want to hop in the bed with me. I am kinda at a stand still if I really want to with him, because I don't want to get hurt again so and then I wouldn't want our friendship messed up either. He seems like he is a very nice guy, very handsome and a handsome smile to. So what's your opinions

Well one, verify that he's not in a relationship. Don't assume that the answer is no. You'd be surprised at the messes women get themselves into by not simply asking the right questions (or questions at all)

Secondly, when you say "2nd base," my thinking is that anything regarding "bases" means physical contact of some kind. If yall talked about "bases" already vs. him courting you & spending time with you that doesn't necessarily involve physical contact, then yes, his intent might just be to sleep with you

I'm sure he has an attraction to you, but feelings? I'm not so sure. Every guy will automatically have a sexual attraction to you in the beginning. It only calms down or gets redirected when you show him that who you are on the INSIDE is just as desirable & fulfilling as sex.

Stop going into every situation worrying about whether or not you're gonna get hurt. It's a little too soon for that kind of fear/thinking. Don't get too ahead of yourself.

You're making him way more important than he actually is to you yet. If your trust issues are that heavy that you go into it overly cautious with an enormous shield, you'll either purposely attract men who make your fears a reality or push away the men who never planned on hurting you.

You know nothing about him other than him being nice & attractive, & yet your deepest insecurities are already coming out? lol Relax. Don't start out over-analyzing b/c 9 times out of 10, you'll probably be wrong. If you can't go into situations without over-analyzing or being passive-aggressive, then perhaps sitting this 1 out might be what's best for you until you're more confident & secure with yourself & dating life.

Just relax, get to know him, take things slow, & use your street smarts to gage his intentions.

krysrenee7
Thanks for your advice, I do know some things about him I didn't want a two page story. Some of the things I do know is that he has been married twice, he has kids, and he isn't dating anyone( I don't know that for sure). And we have had physical contact with each other we both have kissed and hugged each other, it felt so good. I know when we talk he always ask me can he get another kiss from me. And of course I tell him yes, because I like it just as much as he did. And yes the attraction is very strong on his part and of course mines to. And see I don't want to push him away I mean he could very well be the guy for me and not hurt me, I know he told me one time that he " can't compete with hurt" still I don't know what he meant by that.

Posted by angiedbc457
right now he has a heavy work schedule so once he find the time then he said we would get together.

I always think this statement is a cop out. It interprets to me as "I don't want to take the time for your right now" or "I don't want to make you a priority". Because the way I see it, no matter how busy someone is, they will make the time for someone they really like or they are really into.

Now, since it's new....could be he doesn't know you well enough yet.

@truecap

I agree I feel the same way that its a cop out anytime a man truly wants a woman, he always make time for her and yes he don't know me that well. But thanks for your reply I was just asking opinions. But I do have other friends that I do hang out with so I am really not putting a lot into this situation with him, for one reason the age gap has one thing to do with it, its a 14yr gap between us and I use to date a older man before and I didn't like the situation I was in. So I feel it would just be best that we be friends only.

Posted by angiedbc457
@truecap

one reason the age gap has one thing to do with it, its a 14yr gap between us and I use to date a older man before and I didn't like the situation I was in. So I feel it would just be best that we be friends only.

This kinda thing is exactly what he meant when he said he can't & won't compete with "hurt."

He might be an awesome guy but if you're already going into it with preconceived notions & confidence that things won't work out, then he technically shouldn't put too much energy/effort into you if he doesn't have a fair chance to begin with.

He's been married twice, not to mention he's probably been with multiple women through his lifetime. He knows the game. He knows that women sometimes assume that the next guy will be like all the guys from the past. Justifiably, this is annoying for men & gives them no incentive to prove themselves to you if they figure that you're just gonna let your insecurities & baggage trump their efforts.

Given that, he probably didn't mention the "won't compete with hurt" statement for the hell of it. He probably sensed in you that you may be 1 of those women who lets your past baggage somewhat dictate the level of "fair chance" a man will have from the beginning. Him saying that was his way of warning you that he wasn't gonna deal with that. I'm sure you too understand that there's nothing worse than trying to compete with someone's baggage that you didn't have anything to do with creating.

My advice to you is still the same. Relax. Take out the time to get to know him. Do NOT have sex with him too soon. Let him prove himself to you before you start telling yourself that he may be the one for you (the fact that you have so many doubts already confirms that you haven't truly gotten to know him yet). If he makes time for you, put in the effort with him. If he keeps pushing you off, pull away & either move on OR refuse to wheel yourself back in until/unless he restarts the momentum & becomes consistent in his effort with you

Another thing...

Some of the things you're complaining about are things that won't ever change, like his age difference & the fact that he's been married before.

If these are things that you know would bother you or get in the way of you giving him a fair shot, get out now. God forbid you end up holding certain things against him in the future that you knew about going in. That would be incredibly unfair & selfish on your end.

@krysrenee7
I am not going to hold his age and him being married before against him its, just that I have been there before not married but with an older guy and it didn't work, I would love for this to work out with this Aqua because he is so nice and charming.

@HeavySky
I will give it a shot im not turning him down at all

Thanks you both for the advice

Posted by angiedbc457
My story is I met this Aqua male, we use to work together and he would come in everyday and smile at me, and so one day I came in he said I could talk to him and he gave me his number and I gave him mine, he told me he wasn't with no one ( I didn't ask him was he or wasn't he with anyone). So since that has happen I asked him why did he give me his number he said because I was nice. So my question is we have been talking about moving to second base, right now he has a heavy work schedule so once he find the time then he said we would get together. So I am a Gemini so dealing with him do u think that he has feelings or an attraction or just want to hop in the bed with me. I am kinda at a stand still if I really want to with him, because I don't want to get hurt again so and then I wouldn't want our friendship messed up either. He seems like he is a very nice guy, very handsome and a handsome smile to. So what's your opinions

I'll give you solid advice but

Post your sign planet

example

Sun in gemini
moon in capricorn
mercury in gemini

etc

and the ones who "hurt you" [main ones]

and the aquarius guy now

@Xel1337

Only thing I can give you is im a Gemini
The guys that hurt me were Libra, Aries, Scorpio and the current guy is an Aquarius that's all I know

my brother is a Scorpio and his wife is a Gemini. They are both hardworkers and know how to make money but they do fight alot.

My dad is an Aquarius and my mother was a Gemini. She died when I was 6 but my Aqua dad still misses her and every woman since then has to live up to her in his eyes.

So I do think Aquarius is a good match for you. Wondering how its been going.

Posted by angiedbc457
My story is I met this Aqua male, we use to work together and he would come in everyday and smile at me, and so one day I came in he said I could talk to him and he gave me his number and I gave him mine, he told me he wasn't with no one ( I didn't ask him was he or wasn't he with anyone). So since that has happen I asked him why did he give me his number he said because I was nice. So my question is we have been talking about moving to second base, right now he has a heavy work schedule so once he find the time then he said we would get together. So I am a Gemini so dealing with him do u think that he has feelings or an attraction or just want to hop in the bed with me. I am kinda at a stand still if I really want to with him, because I don't want to get hurt again so and then I wouldn't want our friendship messed up either. He seems like he is a very nice guy, very handsome and a handsome smile to. So what's your opinions

He must like you if he gave you his number and you are talking. If you are concerned with him just wanting a one night stand, just don't sleep with him, it's that simple. Time will tell. The ones that just want to hop into bed and nothing else, do not stick around. Best way to judge is to take your time, build towards a friendship.