I don't get this Aquarius man at all!

Ok firstly. I'm gay and he's gay. I'm a cancer man libra moon and he's an Aquarius and Gemini moon

Last year we had a thing. We were on the verge of dating. He was there for me when I most needed him. Texted me all the time, always wanted to hang out. Then he slowly stopped. Long story short in that area when we hung out he kept talking about this girl that's a friend of his and instantly said lets go hang with her. Which is fine. One time said I was hungry want to get food he said no but when she was around shortly after and she was hungry we left to get food. She would always talk about something that hurt a lot for me cause it was something I use the a part of. She hung all over him in front of me. And kept saying that he missed me a lot but spent all the free time hanging with her. And then he grew spatious and I couldn't take it anymore. Said that I should give him space. He didn't like the idea. Then I gave him a HUGE message saying why. In the end he said he wasn't mad that I spoke my mind, he got angry cause apparently I insulted the girl when all I said was "the two look like they could be making out in the backseat of a car." What was supposed to translate that the two of you look like a couple. I felt guilty about it and tried to make up for it and he just withdrew and got colder. Finally, he said lets just be friends. Crashed my hear instantly. Went into a whole ignoring thing. Then he asked me if I'm ok. Then I flipped out to him saying how much I care for him and everything. Only to get ignored by it all. I still wanted to fix what was broken, but then I found out he was already talking to another person when it wasn't even three days. He started to completely ignore me with invites to hang out. Say he has no time but yet he's able to hang out with all these other people. I tried and tried. Finally I made a decision. Confronted him in person instead of texting. Knocked on his door to ask if he wants to get lunch. Apparently he was mad. Didn't say a word. Said sure, came with me and ate with me. And the entire time wouldn't pay attention to me. Just texted other people saying "save me." And then they kept coming and interrupting me. When I found this out it hurt cause he couldn't even talk to me in person.

Next semester I still liked him. We hung out twice but it was on his terms. Talked here and there and I still had feelings for him and everything. He knew since I kept saying it to him. But still, everytime I asked to hang out it was a no. But it slowly became to no answer at all. He said I try too hard. I'm only trying hard because he's trying nothing. He wants to be friends then he needs to act more like it. It ended last semester with a long message and leaving him alone.

This summer, a few times we get into talking. And out. He's at least talked to 10 guys since me or possibly more. I found out through a piece of information he gave me that I know he's still at least physically attracted to me.

Then the summer ended. Made it sound like we would actually hang out and such. First two weeks of camp he was back to school, not a single word from him. Not to say hi or anything. I had to initiate talk. But I was mad cause I was accepting the whole friend thing by now. He won't even act like a friend it just seems like a title to me. I got mad, did my own thing for a while. And since then he either puts off my text for late, ignores them and my snaps and rarely sends any back. Ignores invites. Can't even say why. I don't know how hard it is to hang out once. Sorry, it sounds desperate on my end but if you were a crab sign getting ignored like this you would realize it hurt too. Then finally I snapped at him. Telling him that I'm done. I deleted him from Instagram, Facebook, deleted my Twitter account. And sent a huge message about my complaints. Since he ignore the issues all the time and never communicated to me about anything I figure he won't reply after I send the message. I mean. He sent "lol" at an earlier complaint. Sounded like mockery to me. At the end of the message I deleted him from snap chat which is what I sent the message on. Apparently he did send a message cause he got angry at me through a text message about how cool it is that I deleted him from snap chat. Sent him a message to play it off as if it's for me to get myself to stop messaging him. Cause actually at the moment that's what I wished was to just leave him but it's hard for me. I added him back on snap chat. Read the message. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a really nice guy. If you think I'm such an awful person then why do you text me so much?" Firstly, I sent a message about that I never said he's awful, just his actions hurt me. Then said that I like him and just want to he around him. That's all and is why it hurt. I sent a few articles to him to read so that he would have an idea in my perspective of way it hurt. Just an ok response. I was mad. Didn't talk for him actually for a week. To shorten this, we made up two days ago to go as just friends. We started talking but randomly he completely ignores my message till either late or doesn't reply at all. I ask to hang out and every time a complete ignore. I just want to fix this friendship with us but he ignores me all the time. Today he won't respond at all. Randomly in a conversation he just stops. I know he got it. He's the kind that has his nose in his phone all the time.

What I want from everyone is, I need advice on how to fix this! If I give space he seems to not initiate a conversation. He talks if I start it but then moves back to old patterns. I want to communicate, talk about the differences. He won't even say if I'm annoying him or to back off. I've told him to tell me boundaries. I just get ignored. Sorry, I just don't know how to fix anything. Getting over him isn't a good option as I tried. Talked to at least 30 different guys since hen and nothing.

To make a long story short, you want him to be emotionally responsive. That's not gonna happen. The more you push the issue, the more he's gonna ignore you.

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy
To make a long story short, you want him to be emotionally responsive. That's not gonna happen. The more you push the issue, the more he's gonna ignore you.

Then I'm just supposed to ignore it all? I mean, I wouldn't press anything but I just want to hang out every once in a while. Otherwise I would be satisfied.

Posted by cancertheropy

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy
To make a long story short, you want him to be emotionally responsive. That's not gonna happen. The more you push the issue, the more he's gonna ignore you.

Then I'm just supposed to ignore it all? I mean, I wouldn't press anything but I just want to hang out every once in a while. Otherwise I would be satisfied.

click to expand

It sounds like you fell for the wrong guy. If it makes you feel any better, I'm going through more or less the same. Only I fell in love with a straight guy that I can never have. And he's the nicest guy in the world so I can't even hate him or be mad at him.

The moral of this story is just because we want something more than anything, doesn't mean we can have it. I can't force him to be gay for me, just like you can't force an AQUARIUS of all people to emotionally reciprocate.

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy

Posted by cancertheropy

Posted by RemixGeneralFishy
To make a long story short, you want him to be emotionally responsive. That's not gonna happen. The more you push the issue, the more he's gonna ignore you.

Then I'm just supposed to ignore it all? I mean, I wouldn't press anything but I just want to hang out every once in a while. Otherwise I would be satisfied.

It sounds like you fell for the wrong guy. If it makes you feel any better, I'm going through more or less the same. Only I fell in love with a straight guy that I can never have. And he's the nicest guy in the world so I can't even hate him or be mad at him.

The moral of this story is just because we want something more than anything, doesn't mean we can have it. I can't force him to be gay for me, just like you can't force an AQUARIUS of all people to emotionally reciprocate.

click to expand

I know what you're talking about. Sorry to hear that. I went through the same thing two years ago with a straight guy before I met this one. I can't be mad at him either.

I honestly want some suggestions as to how to get into a legit conversation. Today he actually was talking to me on and off. I know his response times would be quicker cause he's always on it.

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
You're very obsessed with him. Like on some borderline "fatal attraction" type shit.

He's clearly not that into you, but you keep clinging to him like flies on shit. If I were him I'd be annoyed as fuck too.

At this point he's not even at fault. He's making it clear that he doesn't like you like that. He's ignoring you. He has even directly told you that you try too hard and here you are, still trying hard. Jfc, stop trying to "get him" and just move on already.



LET. IT. GO.

My only argument with that. I just had the talk I've been waiting for. The reason, my demanding nature is off putting to him and makes it so he doesn't want to talk to me and hang out. So it's something I personally need to work with.

I’m a Cancer sun with a Cancer venus and an Aqua moon, with a Gemini rising so I can see both sides of this situation lol. Especially since I am dealing with an Aqua sun Gemini moon man right now. I understand why your feelings are hurt, because when we Cancers like someone, and they ignore us, it hurts a lot. You even feel your heart beating through your chest because we DON’T put ourselves out there often so when someone ignores us, we feel stupid for even trying to come out of our shells. But I also understand why he is ignoring your efforts. You showed him a side of you that we Aquarians do NOT like; clinginess, pettiness, jealousy, and to top it off an emotional outburst. Once you do those things, it’s hard for us to even try to be friends with you because we don’t understand those traits ourselves. Aquarians are into being their own person, which means a lot of space and freedom or you will be dropped instantly, whether you are a friend or more. Even if you complain about us being out of your life for long periods of time we get uncomfortable. I had a friend who has her sun in Cancer and moon in Scorpio and she used to make me feel bad about not being a fast texter, sometimes just forgetting in general to take her back, and taking a month or longer breaks from our friendship. But what made me cut her off completely is because she went off on me for a reason that was her own doing and kept texting me about it without me responding because I just couldn’t bring myself to deal with the emotional outburst she was having at the time, and I just completely shut off and haven’t been able to get myself to even thinking to be her friend again. If you want him to come back as a friend, you have to give him enough space that he actually misses you and wants to come back. You can NOT rush a Aquarius.

Posted by canceraqua
I’m a Cancer sun with a Cancer venus and an Aqua moon, with a Gemini rising so I can see both sides of this situation lol. Especially since I am dealing with an Aqua sun Gemini moon man right now. I understand why your feelings are hurt, because when we Cancers like someone, and they ignore us, it hurts a lot. You even feel your heart beating through your chest because we DON’T put ourselves out there often so when someone ignores us, we feel stupid for even trying to come out of our shells. But I also understand why he is ignoring your efforts. You showed him a side of you that we Aquarians do NOT like; clinginess, pettiness, jealousy, and to top it off an emotional outburst. Once you do those things, it’s hard for us to even try to be friends with you because we don’t understand those traits ourselves. Aquarians are into being their own person, which means a lot of space and freedom or you will be dropped instantly, whether you are a friend or more. Even if you complain about us being out of your life for long periods of time we get uncomfortable. I had a friend who has her sun in Cancer and moon in Scorpio and she used to make me feel bad about not being a fast texter, sometimes just forgetting in general to take her back, and taking a month or longer breaks from our friendship. But what made me cut her off completely is because she went off on me for a reason that was her own doing and kept texting me about it without me responding because I just couldn’t bring myself to deal with the emotional outburst she was having at the time, and I just completely shut off and haven’t been able to get myself to even thinking to be her friend again. If you want him to come back as a friend, you have to give him enough space that he actually misses you and wants to come back. You can NOT rush a Aquarius.

Thanks for the info. It's quite beneficial. But I am happy to say that last night we had an actual serious discussion about the whole thing. Which is something I wanted for a while and didn't know how to get him to speak up. Renewing the friendship must have done wonders lol. Anyways, he told me the reason why he doesn't want to talk and hang out. It's something that I suspected but sometimes it's hard to pinpoint the exact cause when you can't think like another person, as I come up with more than one reason and it's hard to narrow it down. Anyways, it's something I'm going to work on and he knows it now. I told him to bear with me because it'll be a bumpy road with me as it'll be difficult. So I'm hoping we'll start to communicate better.

Good to hear! Just remember that air signs are drifters and they may not even be (trying to) ignoring you. Even though I am a Cancer with two other planets in Cancer (venus and mercury), just having a Gemini as my rising, Aquarius as my moon, (and Sagittarius as my Jupiter if we are just talking about wandering signs in general) I am a social drifter and most my boyfriends claim that this crab is the distant one. Just give him a lot of time to think and try to understand him the way you want him to understand you. Sometimes we crabs have no control over our emotions just like they have no control over their spiteful tongue at times. 🙂

Posted by blubird
Hello, I understand where you are coming from. However, if you want to be with an Aquarius you cannot be disrespectful at ALL. Popping up at his door saying mean things to his friends is not going to work. Aquarius play Alot of games. Him hugging kissing his girl friend could have been a test for you. If you are pissed NEVER show it or SAY it. This is very hard for a cancer. Advice accept him for who he is. Each person has there own identity. You may have to date this man for 7 years before he makes a commitment. Can you handle that? He may see multiple guys on the side can you handle that? Just be his friend and follow his lead. Go with the flow date other people live your life and just enjoy the time you spend with him. You will never find a better friend than an Aquarius. All the emotions youre showing are fears within yourself. An Aquarius will make you examine yourself. True love is unconditional. He's being distant because he doesn't want to hurt you or for you to get to attached to him. Enjoy your life and stop worrying about what he is.thinking. If he still talks to you no matter who initiates it he still cares. Cancer have an amazing sense of humour and great cooking skills show him that side. Show him the side that caught his eye when you first met him.

I just want some good advice about this. Don't take it one 100% serious I just want to get an idea what would happen with an aqua. If I were to keep fighting and fighting, would the message eventually get to him and slowly stop resisting (I mean if he had deep hidden feelings for me too) or would it just push him away to the point where he would cut me out of his life?

Just so everyone knows this is hard to get 100% over him and move one since we both go to the same school, have the same major, have the same classes, are involved in the same activities so I end up seeing him all the time. Not a good thing when moving on from someone, so if you can understand that it's harder than it looks thank you.

Air dominant personal planets. Also seems like he might still be coming to terms to being out and proud.

He backed away because he felt pressured by your emotional intensity, not because he doesn't like you. If you want to pursue him be prepared to be patient.

Posted by blubird
Boo I'm going to tell it to you like this don't ever forget it. This was a huge learning lesson for me too. LOVE YOURSELF more than anything in this world. NEVER let someone have control over you or your mind. Own your Power. Never compromise your beliefs, morals, and values for someone else. At the end of the day if that person doesn't see your value SEE YOU for the wonderful person that you are FUK EM. That's right Fuk em and enjoy your life. When you see that person speak, wave, have a huge smile on your face and shine baby shine. Let them know I'm good over here how you doing. Date go out enjoy yourself if he wants to hook up OK if not keep doing you. The right love will find you. Get back in the books and stop stressing about this it will work out.

Lol thanks. It's soooo much harder that what words can describe. One minute I'm like YESSSS! I can do this! And the next I feel like I stumbled into a deep hole. I will try my best.

Im an aqua and my ex is a cancer.

Alot of what your saying within your little aqua friendship sums up my three year relationship with my ex but with steroids on top.

Its so hard to figure out why you guys are so neurotic, the only reason we stayed together so long is because of our sense of humour, and you seem to have lost yours in this scenario.

You my dear are a lot of work, high maintenance, no chill, no play that's all I read from you.

Aquarian folk dont like work, we want things to glide, we love it when something is designed perfectly and it just does what its supposed to do, like the wheel.

I can just imagine your side remark about him and his friend would feel like moving back over a cheese grater. You gotta understand your dynamic as well, you are a cancer libra mixed, very cardinal which means you constantly being a catalyst and instigating issues that need to be resolved. Thats something he will be dealing with you...

But the bottom line is that you want to be with him, and he knows this, even though you say friends, youll always be determined to get him because cancer folk are fucking crazy and like to make life hard for yourselves.

Move on from him

@The_eleventh_sign_11

Thanks for the valuable input. Unfortunately through my own personal belief I don't believe in giving up on a human being. Even if it's a painful experience. We don't live on this earth to just simply be happy. Nothing isn't given to us, we have to earn and work for it and if we fail to work the first time that's when we fail. When we fail we just stand up and learn from it and to try harder. That doesn't mean do the same thing over.

Personally I believe that it's not one persons fault. It's both of us. We both need to work on it but sitting here telling him that you need to work on this I realized won't work since everyone has different values and view points. In order to make anything work I need to understand him. See where he's coming from and make sure to do the things that he enjoys and loves. That includes creating less drama, be more communicative, stay humorous, and not seem demanding in his eyes. In return working hard for that maybe, just maybe he'll see that I'm really trying and will appreciate what I enjoy.

I don't know if the cancer you're talking about was just thinking of how he wanted it and just wanted to get straight there instead of taking the effort to do anything. I get why, but it won't work with how it seems with the Aquarius mind as I've been analyzing him since day one. I can understand a person fully by seeing the negative aspects of them. Otherwise you never really know them. I have noticed Aquarius won't take an effort to 'try' because they're turned off when we act demanding and clingy. Which is why it makes it harder for us crabs to understand as we enjoy seeing someone try.

There is one question I kindly would like to ask though for advice than just giving up. I understand demanding aspect of it but what I consider demanding is a bit different than what he may. I just want to know if this is demanding. If I keep sending him stuff like "have a good day" or "good morning" or "good night" seems to be a no for an Aquarius? I mean not giving you space. I'm just wondering if it's better to not saying anything for a day or so then try saying something or what.

As an aqua I sign that what eleventhhouse said.

Your energy screams "needy" - he is not that into you. I had a time where everything had to have a reason, behind every problem had to be a solution. I was so stupid. That's why I can relate to you.. do yourself a favor and get over him. Cut the ties without contacting him further. This won't end like u wish it would.

Posted by AquaNextDoor
As an aqua I sign that what eleventhhouse said.

Your energy screams "needy" - he is not that into you. I had a time where everything had to have a reason, behind every problem had to be a solution. I was so stupid. That's why I can relate to you.. do yourself a favor and get over him. Cut the ties without contacting him further. This won't end like u wish it would.

I've already tried that. Believe me. I eventually conquered and became no longer interested in him, and then he would contact here and there. The part that makes it tough and challenging is that we see each other everyday cause were involved with the same things. It's what eventually catches my interest again. So I've just accepted that's the way I feel because it won't go away. I just need some guidance. In my eyes trying to understand and know if I'm going the correct path isn't needy.