Just another Gem with Aquarius man situation

I have been seeing this guy for 18 months. No one knows about our "relationship" and we are not calling each other boyfriend /girlfriend either (in other words - friends with benefits ). He trusts me and has admitted that I know more about him than anyon
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  • Gemgal101
    female

    The user who posted this message has hidden it.

  • peachy06
    ♏️ sun ♐️ moon
    That's the purpose of an FWB, not being a couple, just treetrunk buddies. Move on and find someone else.
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by saweetz1988
    Posted by bumboklatt
    Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by bumboklatt
    We rarely take charge. Both are so undecided

    Gotta go with the flow, ironic telling a Gemini that


    I've been told to go with the flow but yes, it works for a while then I kinda cant...


    It depends on your chart. If your sun is in a restricted house then you may have other traits

    As far as Aquarius, don't take everything we say seriously. We like to play mind games and it's usually when we're immature


    ---
    As far as Aquarius, don't take everything we say seriously. We like to play mind games and it's usually when we're immature --

    are you telling her not to take what he says seriously ??? that he isn't looking for a relationship or that he's telling her to be with other people?
    click to expand


    What defines immature though? I sometimes think he's a big kid but can be serious too. We're both in our 40's.
    I sometimes think he says things to stir me up and see my reaction and whether he likes how I react or not. Sometimes he says things too to make me think there is something possible in the future but then he kinda backtracks and I take that as he's said too much too soon and wants to be cool about it all again. Does that make any sense to you?

    I've truly never met anyone like him and he has become such an important part of my life but yes, if it's meant to be then it will.
  • Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by MoonshineLeo
    I think this aqua needs more of a friend than a relationship. If you care for his well being and yours you would stop sleeping around with each other. That just confuses his emotions and grief even more.

    Tell him let’s just be friends while he gets past this. And he may never get over her but he also started seeing you very close after her death which makes me think he is using you as comfort. Be there for him as a friend and he will respect you more and maybe see you as something more but sleeping around for 18 months with no depth is just a bad idea and he won’t respect you or see you as a future wife.


    I believe what you are saying that he needs more of a friend at the moment. He's still very up and down and I dont think i am helping the cause by extending that friendship...its hard to do because my heart is so caught up in it all but I need to do whats best for him. I'm hoping his time away in the new year will allow me to adjust to not seeing him all the time and give him the time and space he needs (and he does need it - not just from me but from everyone and everything else).
    click to expand


    i'm sorry for ur situation .

    but remember, whats meant to be will be.

    stay friends smile just friends.

    thats the only way for anything to progress forward.


  • Posted by bumboklatt
    Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by bumboklatt
    We rarely take charge. Both are so undecided

    Gotta go with the flow, ironic telling a Gemini that


    I've been told to go with the flow but yes, it works for a while then I kinda cant...


    It depends on your chart. If your sun is in a restricted house then you may have other traits

    As far as Aquarius, don't take everything we say seriously. We like to play mind games and it's usually when we're immature
    click to expand


    ---
    As far as Aquarius, don't take everything we say seriously. We like to play mind games and it's usually when we're immature --

    are you telling her not to take what he says seriously ??? that he isn't looking for a relationship or that he's telling her to be with other people?
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    One other tip, no matter what some may advise you on here, dont try to manipulate an aquarius and dont resort to emotional blackmail to get a reaction such as making him jealous, flaunting a new guy in front of him... just no. Dont stoop that low for a man’s attention. Be a girl that any man would want— a decent one. The one that men will chase after not the other way around. X


    I would never do that. Not my style . I think I just need to show him that if he is going to be a part of my life then it is because I want him to be not because I need him.
    Thank you for your advice...I think I tend to look at things with blinkers on and not look at the bigger picture!!


    Good! Be strong smile aqua guys naturally match gemini women so dont worry too much and just live like you should.
    click to expand


    Thank you. :-)
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    One other tip, no matter what some may advise you on here, dont try to manipulate an aquarius and dont resort to emotional blackmail to get a reaction such as making him jealous, flaunting a new guy in front of him... just no. Dont stoop that low for a man’s attention. Be a girl that any man would want— a decent one. The one that men will chase after not the other way around. X


    I would never do that. Not my style . I think I just need to show him that if he is going to be a part of my life then it is because I want him to be not because I need him.
    Thank you for your advice...I think I tend to look at things with blinkers on and not look at the bigger picture!!
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by MoonshineLeo
    I think this aqua needs more of a friend than a relationship. If you care for his well being and yours you would stop sleeping around with each other. That just confuses his emotions and grief even more.

    Tell him let’s just be friends while he gets past this. And he may never get over her but he also started seeing you very close after her death which makes me think he is using you as comfort. Be there for him as a friend and he will respect you more and maybe see you as something more but sleeping around for 18 months with no depth is just a bad idea and he won’t respect you or see you as a future wife.


    I believe what you are saying that he needs more of a friend at the moment. He's still very up and down and I dont think i am helping the cause by extending that friendship...its hard to do because my heart is so caught up in it all but I need to do whats best for him. I'm hoping his time away in the new year will allow me to adjust to not seeing him all the time and give him the time and space he needs (and he does need it - not just from me but from everyone and everything else).
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    @gemgal101 take his word for it. He said hes not looking for a relationship. If he wants one, he would chase you. But most importantly, make a decision for yourself. What do you want? And I am hoping you want to be happy and not get stuck in the middle.

    Think of it this way. If he wants you, nothing and no one can keep him from you. If he doesnt, then even if you stay, he wont commit. smile *hugs*


    I want to be happy but I want this to work but I'm starting to believe that I am not what he wants...


    Let go a little. He will come chase you if he wants you. You gotta give him that time and chance to decide. Being available for him wont let him see your value and he wont commit smile
    click to expand


    I think thats part of my problem that I'm too available for him and I need to maybe do my own things to show that I have a life outside of it all...
  • MoonshineLeo
    24 years old female from Texas
    I think this aqua needs more of a friend than a relationship. If you care for his well being and yours you would stop sleeping around with each other. That just confuses his emotions and grief even more.

    Tell him let’s just be friends while he gets past this. And he may never get over her but he also started seeing you very close after her death which makes me think he is using you as comfort. Be there for him as a friend and he will respect you more and maybe see you as something more but sleeping around for 18 months with no depth is just a bad idea and he won’t respect you or see you as a future wife.
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by aquarius_man
    Posted by Gemgal101
    Posted by aquarius_man
    Posted by Gemgal101
    He has always told me he doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment and he (i believe ) is still getting over the loss of his wife (who passed just over 2 years ).


    He will just sleep with you. He still grieving. He will love you as a friend but his love for you won't be the same as the love he had for his wife. But you could be still friends with benefits for a long while. He won't say no to other women, he will sleep with them if given the chance, but he won't chase them.

    You & and a million other women are not what he wants. He will never forgete his wife. Could be he is still wounded and scarred. Your call. You could have great fun together, but I doubt you will be his wife. I think he likes you, but only as a friend, whom he fuucckks .


    Thank you for your honesty. Your thoughts are what I am hearing in my head.... Hard to comprehend the idea of walking away though...i love him very much and i know he loves me but yes, his love for me is the same that he has for all his close friends...


    Don't worry, that's why I said your call: you could still have fun, he will still treat you as a special friend among his lady and male friends. And remember to an Aquarius friendship in a relationship is important, but no matter what they say about our sign, love is more important, and you sensed it yourself, anyway. If you are willing to stick around you might 'have' him for you in the long run, but when you try to get closer to him, he will remind you you are not his wife. What's your ages?
    click to expand


    We are early 40's and we both have children. I have 2 from a previous marriage.
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    @gemgal101 take his word for it. He said hes not looking for a relationship. If he wants one, he would chase you. But most importantly, make a decision for yourself. What do you want? And I am hoping you want to be happy and not get stuck in the middle.

    Think of it this way. If he wants you, nothing and no one can keep him from you. If he doesnt, then even if you stay, he wont commit. smile *hugs*


    I want to be happy but I want this to work but I'm starting to believe that I am not what he wants...
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by aquarius_man
    Posted by Gemgal101
    He has always told me he doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment and he (i believe ) is still getting over the loss of his wife (who passed just over 2 years ).


    He will just sleep with you. He still grieving. He will love you as a friend but his love for you won't be the same as the love he had for his wife. But you could be still friends with benefits for a long while. He won't say no to other women, he will sleep with them if given the chance, but he won't chase them.

    You & and a million other women are not what he wants. He will never forgete his wife. Could be he is still wounded and scarred. Your call. You could have great fun together, but I doubt you will be his wife. I think he likes you, but only as a friend, whom he fuucckks .
    click to expand


    Thank you for your honesty. Your thoughts are what I am hearing in my head.... Hard to comprehend the idea of walking away though...i love him very much and i know he loves me but yes, his love for me is the same that he has for all his close friends...
  • Gemgal101
    female
    Posted by LadyNeptune
    I think your best chance to change his mind about having a relationship is to walk away. Give him space and time to miss you.


    I was afraid that was what I need to do. He is going away for 3-4 weeks in the new year. Do you think that could serve as "space time" to miss me?
  • Senorita_LL
    I love to smile. I'm a happy little treetrunker
    female
    Posted by Seleukos
    Posted by Senorita_LL
    Posted by Seleukos
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    Posted by Seleukos
    Posted by GeminiGirl052388
    Posted by Seleukos
    Posted by Whiskey_in_a_barrel_for_sale
    Having said all that, Aquas are damn good for Geminis tho. I'm a fan of this combo
    But OP when a guy says, "I don't want a relationship...." Take his word. It could be either he isn't ready for a relationship then or he doesn't see a relationship with you. Sorry but it's the brutal truth. If you wanna see if there is anything, walk away now and see if he comes back to you.

    Watch the way men change their script as soon as the see "The One"


    I agree for the most part of it.
    There are some conditions in my experience that need to fullfilled for the relationship to become more stable.

    Aquarians should stop taking the Geminis talk too seriously, sometimes it is just talk.
    Gemini can tend to become too focused on the Aquarian and might lose themselves a bit. In my relationshipwith a Gemini this behaviour led to a huge explosion from my side because i didn't want her to agree and praise everything i do and say. We Aquarians love youe Geminis for what you are. You are perfect the way you are.
    Best way to solve unfolding problems is talking but expect the conversatio to be very long and expansive.
    Both side need to be accepting of their own feelings otherwise it can get ugly.

    But overall it is the sign i'm most attracted to and i miss my Gemini deeply at the moment.
    Were are also good to each other when it comes to personal growth.


    Oooohhhh an aqua saying that. Damn. Hahahaha. I think a gemini and aqua relationship is excellent. Naturally matched. I am in a relationship with an aqua now and he is amazing. He does his best to give me assurance and stability. He also is the man in the relationship.. meaning he never makes me chase him. He chases me. He does things for me including flying to where I am so he can spend time with me. He wants me to be who I am and our relationship thrives on mutual respect. So i really like it smile


    Is it that rare for an Aquarius to say something postive about you Geminis?
    I honestly can't imagine it would be.

    Good to hear it is working excellent for you and you are bridging the physical distance.
    We didn't do that and I think thats what killed our not-relationship-relationship.

    Hope it keeps working four you two.


    Well based on experience, aquas arent as expressive as other signs. So when an aqua says something good about me, i know they actually meant it. Its good. I prefer it that way. And yes, we are trying our best to make it work. We know we have met each other for a reason and we just think it feels right. Not much physical contact which sucks some days but we love each other beyond physical intimacy so i guess we will be ok. We will just catch up when we see each other next hahaha. I hope it works out for you as well. If there is one sign that i think has a potential to last long, its the aqua-gem one.


    Yeah, i think you are right.
    Gemini defintely might be the way to go for me especially with me having my moon and mars in Sagittarius.

    I just have to keep working on dismantling my resentment towards your sign a bit. Big Grin
    The way she broke off left me quite bitter but considering how often i stumble into Geminis it should be fine.


    Lol

    You have my eldest son's placements. Aqua sun, Sag moon and mars. Our arguments can be petty but you know, I am truly amazed that he was more calm and collected than me.

    He have never gave me any issue or try to make me feel sad. He's independent af and although he can be super sarcastic, I know he really cares. He will fight if anyone try to say something about his mom or his siblings. But, he will never show his emotions.

    He loves to travel just like me, and travelling with him can be annoying but fun at the same time.

    Are you like this with your Gemini ex as well? Asking on my son's behalf.Laughing


    I don't know. The only arguments I have and that I would call petty are the one where I troll people in order to get them out of their shells. My calmness can be infuriating sometimes and for some people in general.

    Check to sarcasm but it is more of an byproduct than actually intended. Basically everything is a joke for me which can lead to trouble from time to time.

    Also check to being protective. I still occasionally wake up at night because my instinct tells she is feeling hurt and because there is nothing I can do anymore I have to hit the gym in such situations or run until I'm completly exhausted.

    I like to travel too.

    Yeah, showing emotions...well...I'm not very good at it. Big Grin
    It only happens if I care deeply and lot has accumulated.
    My Gemini only experienced my outburst once and only in written form and was a bit traumatized for a couple of weeks.

    The only advice I can give if your son would be chasing a Gemini ist to accept his own tender side a bit more and show it to her/him. I always underestimated how deeply Geminis can get and feel hurt.

    A general advice for him would be to exercise, a lot. I need exercises to feel happy or comfortable. Running is best.
    click to expand


    Haha! My son, I think he falls for a Sag sun. He's very secretive but I can read him so well. He's 16 now, turning 17 soon.

    He's in sports. He plays soccer, floorball and basketball. I hope someday, you will get yourself a cool Gemini. Well, nobody knows. Winking
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