Running Away

So... I've been doing some self reflection, and have discovered/realized something about myself. When I am overwhelmed with hurt, emotion, anger... not projecting it, but inside.... I want to leave and remove myself from what is causing that pain and anger.

I've been revisiting moments in the past, of times that I have been hurt or angered in some way, and I would say my goodbyes and leave, letting that person know that I just don't want to be there.

I went over to the Aries house to study, and he was in one of his testing/poke at me moods... I had just got out of work and was stuck in traffic for 2-hours, so I wasn't in the best mood and needed to unwind. He made a snide comment/joke and all I heard was "I thought you were going to leave?" I told him no, why? He said that when I'm not happy about something, that's what I do, I leave.

I just told him that I wasn't going to leave, I just needed 15 to unwind and shake my funk from the day off. Things were fine and dandy after that, his banter and behavior wasn't what got me, it was his comment about my leaving.

Does anyone else do this? A part of me thinks it's a good thing to leave, who wants to be around someone that is in a bad mood or if an argument will arise. However, another part of me thinks it's a bit cowardly and childish. The moment will pass, stick around and enjoy the ride and laugh at yourself when it's over.

I'd say if the majority of the time you are happy and enjoying yourself... then I wouldn't let the once a day/week/month snide remarks turn me away.

However, I doubt you made this thread over something like that?

Oh, it wasn't the snide remark that I was referring to. It was me taking a peek at my past behavior and realizing that me leaving when hurt or angry seems to be the norm for me. I am just curious what people's take on this is. Just a topic up for discussion, I'm not butt hurt about anything :-)

Yeah, I suppose if it's just temporary and none of this bs of, I'm leaving and never going to be your friend anymore... then it's not a big deal.

I remember when I was in that extremely dysfunctional relationship for 6 years, we would argue and he would leave. It would drive me crazy. I would always want him to stay so we could work it out, but at the same time knew that when you are in the heat of the moment, it doesn't matter what you say, nothing is really "heard". I suppose at that time, it was the action of him leaving that hurt. I looked at it as it meaning he wouldn't stick around when the going got tough... and yet here I am, leaving.

Thanks libraCUSPscorpio? How are things with you on this lovely day?

Nah I wouldn't necessarily say it's running away. It's exactly what I do.

I often think when I'm angered or filled with what's called negative emotions I start to detach from that side and logically try to approach why I'm feeling a certain way. I've already admitted to people that yeah I know it might be a bit idiotic or frustrating to deal with. It is ultimately something I feel is a selfish thing to do but I honestly have to say that it's me processing it all before I can make sense of it.

It's like they are trying to get an emotional response from you, what is the point? It's like their words would actually dissipate the problems but they won't so why should I bother displaying or share what I'm thinking unless I know they can solve it or if they're the cause of the problem?

I use to take things personally when someone makes a remark like you mentioned but in the end I'd just chalk it down to that as an emotional response because the way I projected myself warranted them to ask so I think it shows care from their side. A lot of my aqua friends like to prod me the same way but react the same way but once all the heat has settled it's hard to fault them.

Funny part is, it IS actually the whole detachment process that made sense for me. Now I'm a bit more receptive 🙂 And welcome back rach, missed you round these parts lady!

damn it i thought rachel snow was gone and everyone would start directing their attention to my syrian civil war post, but rachel snow is here to play and the syrian civil war post will grow old and cold

so it was the personal jab at your character that bothered you? i thought people left so they don't over step their boundaries

Thank you for your wise words superhero, and thank you for sharing Aquanoz, glad I'm not the only one around here who gets overwhelmed with emotion, doesn't know how to process, and wants to run away until they go away.

PS, it wasn't what he said about my leaving that bothered me at all. Nothing about that conversation bothered me, I was in a bad mood, only because I had been sitting in traffic for 2 hours, not because of his comment. However, it was his comment that got my wheels turning and reflecting on my past, and wondering if this running thing was good, bad... in between.

Yeh I find running away and cutting ppl off is what i do best as a coping mechanism and ppl see my absence as a sort of protest they think I'm being childish but I'm dead set serious and stubborn in my ways......its just so easy for me to wipe the slate clean and start again with new ppl till they piss me off then I fuck them off again. keeps the air flowing i guess and not stagnant........whenever I was fighting with my exes I feel that I'm in my element and alive and I feel the thrill of the escalations.....I always unconsciously choose nutcase whackjobs that love to stir me up and have me reprimand....

I've always run when life gets me down with the big things splits, death...changed houses, jumped on a plane and flown home to family...it's helped temporarily...but I always have to go back and face the problem and deal with it eventually...it just allows me a bit of time for things to sink in.

"It's like they are trying to get an emotional response from you, what is the point?"

@Aquanoz, that IS the point...lol. Most people don't understand/get how Aqua's process things and when they don't react they way that the other person thought you would OR wanted you too, then the emotions fly!

@ROS, you're not the only one, I tend to do that on occasion too. Most of the time, it's just others speaking through their emotions and has nothing to do with you 🙂 Sometimes leaving the situation is the best way to get a point across especially if the point was not made clear enough verbally!