Ilovemyaqua
@Ilovemyaqua
11 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 518 · Topics: 42
So I guess it's finally over,perhaps this is my closure.
I think it's naive to tell someone that you love them for the first time over those as a desperate plea to get attention, that's not something you joke about with an Aqua
@Op - You're desperate need of anyone that's not ready will hurt but maybe it's time to really think about this.
Your
@Op - I know this blows, but never settle as a taurus i myself do this but now I think it must be a very good reason to separate when it's time..
Oh, hun, I feel your pain.
The emotional response probably made him very uncomfortable and icky. I think he was being honest with you and you responded all emotionally. Aquas don't handle emotional outbursts very well and this will cause him to distance because he doesn't want it happening again. Nothing wrong in saying how you feel, but with them you have to keep it rational and not emotional.
My personal experience here - You can not pressure an aqua, nor can you can not rush one to be ready for a relationship. They will rebel. They will do this on their own terms, not yours. That's why we are advised to give an aqua space and let them have time to process and come to the commitment stage on their own free will. It's also why it is so meaningful when they do finally decide to commit. It has to be their decision, not pressure from you.
Most men will not enter a relationship until they feel like they have all their ducks in a row, their lives in order, some of their goals achieved, finances in order, living situation where they want - then it's time to look into relationship. They don't allow themselves to fall in love until they're ready to fall in love.
You say that love should be enough. Well, it's not for most men. I'm not an aqua, but I do have aqua mars and I think Aquas will not commit to a relationship unless they think you are "the one" and they are considering more than just a relationship (they are considering marriage, kids, etc). When they get into a relationship, they take it seriously. That's why there are so many threads about aquas not wanting to commit. And you have to look from the outside in, as hurtful as it may be, just because you love him, does not mean that he loves you. I don't mean to be hurtful with those words, but it is something you need to consider that may help you move on. (Again, I'm so sorry for saying that).
My advise for you is to sit back, wait, give him space and let him process what has happened and let him decide if he wants to move forward or not. After some time, if he's not wanting to move forward, you will have to make the decision whether what he is giving you is enough versus whether you still want more. If you want more than he's willing or capable of giving, you need to consider moving on. That will give you a chance to find someone who is on your page and wants more like you do. No sense in hanging on to something that's going nowhere.
Take some time to waller, take some time to yourself to think, take some time to yourself. Take some distance and then come back in a month's time and make the decision that's right for you.
*Hugs*
The emotional response probably made him very uncomfortable and icky. I think he was being honest with you and you responded all emotionally. Aquas don't handle emotional outbursts very well and this will cause him to distance because he doesn't want it happening again. Nothing wrong in saying how you feel, but with them you have to keep it rational and not emotional.
My personal experience here - You can not pressure an aqua, nor can you can not rush one to be ready for a relationship. They will rebel. They will do this on their own terms, not yours. That's why we are advised to give an aqua space and let them have time to process and come to the commitment stage on their own free will. It's also why it is so meaningful when they do finally decide to commit. It has to be their decision, not pressure from you.
Most men will not enter a relationship until they feel like they have all their ducks in a row, their lives in order, some of their goals achieved, finances in order, living situation where they want - then it's time to look into relationship. They don't allow themselves to fall in love until they're ready to fall in love.
You say that love should be enough. Well, it's not for most men. I'm not an aqua, but I do have aqua mars and I think Aquas will not commit to a relationship unless they think you are "the one" and they are considering more than just a relationship (they are considering marriage, kids, etc). When they get into a relationship, they take it seriously. That's why there are so many threads about aquas not wanting to commit. And you have to look from the outside in, as hurtful as it may be, just because you love him, does not mean that he loves you. I don't mean to be hurtful with those words, but it is something you need to consider that may help you move on. (Again, I'm so sorry for saying that).
My advise for you is to sit back, wait, give him space and let him process what has happened and let him decide if he wants to move forward or not. After some time, if he's not wanting to move forward, you will have to make the decision whether what he is giving you is enough versus whether you still want more. If you want more than he's willing or capable of giving, you need to consider moving on. That will give you a chance to find someone who is on your page and wants more like you do. No sense in hanging on to something that's going nowhere.
Take some time to waller, take some time to yourself to think, take some time to yourself. Take some distance and then come back in a month's time and make the decision that's right for you.
*Hugs*
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11Well,I didn't do it to get his attention.I had to get it off my chest.I had to be honest and it just happened.I myself didn't know all that was about to happen.
I think it's naive to tell someone that you love them for the first time over those as a desperate plea to get attention, that's not something you joke about with an Aqua
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428I was not sure about him until this January.I never knew I'll tell him so soon.But I did and his denial hurt.I have to move on.I don't know how I'll handle it,but I'll prefer not talking to him anymore,I can't.He's the first person I've ever told I love them and when it's not reciprocated,it hurts bad.
@Op - I know this blows, but never settle as a taurus i myself do this but now I think it must be a very good reason to separate when it's time..
Posted by truecapI know,I never wanted to tell him that because I knew what might happen,but I did I don't know why.And as much as I understand him,I think it's time now to pack my b
Oh, hun, I feel your pain.
The emotional response probably made him very uncomfortable and icky. I think he was being honest with you and you responded all emotionally. Aquas don't handle emotional outbursts very well and this will cause him to distance because he doesn't want it happening again. Nothing wrong in saying how you feel, but with them you have to keep it rational and not emotional.
My personal experience here - You can not pressure an aqua, nor can you can not rush one to be ready for a relationship. They will rebel. They will do this on their own terms, not yours. That's why we are advised to give an aqua space and let them have time to process and come to the commitment stage on their own free will. It's also why it is so meaningful when they do finally decide to commit. It has to be their decision, not pressure from you.
Most men will not enter a relationship until they feel like they have all their ducks in a row, their lives in order, some of their goals achieved, finances in order, living situation where they want - then it's time to look into relationship. They don't allow themselves to fall in love until they're ready to fall in love.
You say that love should be enough. Well, it's not for most men. I'm not an aqua, but I do have aqua mars and I think Aquas will not commit to a relationship unless they think you are "the one" and they are considering more than just a relationship (they are considering marriage, kids, etc). When they get into a relationship, they take it seriously. That's why there are so many threads about aquas not wanting to commit. And you have to look from the outside in, as hurtful as it may be, just because you love him, does not mean that he loves you. I don't mean to be hurtful with those words, but it is something you need to consider that may help you move on. (Again, I'm so sorry for saying that).
My advise for you is to sit back, wait, give him space and let him process what has happened and let him decide if he wants to move forward or not. After some time, if he's not wanting to move forward, you will have to make the decision whether what he is giving you is enough versus whether you still want more. If you want more than he's willing or capable of giving, you need to consider moving on. That will give you a chance to find someone who is on your page and wants more like you do. No sense in hanging on to something that's going nowhere.
Take some time to waller, take some time to yourself to think, take some time to yourself. Take some distance and then come back in a month's time and make the decision that's right for you.
*Hugs*
Contd: I think it's time now to pack my bags,not to look for someone else but to detach from him.We're humans and unrequited love hurts.I know why he's not ready but I somehow can't take it.I'm a commitment phobe so me wanting to commit was a surprise for myself too.He's also asking me to meet,perhaps so he doesn't feel all guilty but I'm not sure if I want to,I don't want sympathy.
Posted by IlovemyaquaYou're doing the right thing.
Contd: I think it's time now to pack my bags,not to look for someone else but to detach from him.We're humans and unrequited love hurts.I know why he's not ready but I somehow can't take it.I'm a commitment phobe so me wanting to commit was a surprise for myself too.He's also asking me to meet,perhaps so he doesn't feel all guilty but I'm not sure if I want to,I don't want sympathy.
Try not to take it personally. It's not you. It's just bad timing. Sometimes things just don't work out and those experiences make us stronger, more confident really for the next relationship. Not everybody is going to love us and we're not going to love everybody. Not everyone's right for us and we're not right for everyone. Take that mindset and let it make you more confident.
At least you know and got your answers. He didn't leave you hanging. That shows his respect for you and in the end that's all any of us really want - is to be respected.
Posted by truecapI don't know why I'm telling you this but I've never been in a relationship, no matter how much I liked them because I never felt that way.He was the first one,maybe that's why it's hurting me so bad.Also,we've known each other for four years now,we've confessed feelings four years back,have been dating since September,I think four years is a lot of time to decide,if not a relationship then atleast to decide if you love someone or not.If he's still undecided,I think he'll never love me.College is about to end,we'll go to different cities for our jobs now.Idk,I saw things that never existed maybe,maybe I was too much in love to see the red flags.I'm an idiot,sigh,that's what cupid does to you.Sorry for the rant.Posted by IlovemyaquaYou're doing the right thing.
Contd: I think it's time now to pack my bags,not to look for someone else but to detach from him.We're humans and unrequited love hurts.I know why he's not ready but I somehow can't take it.I'm a commitment phobe so me wanting to commit was a surprise for myself too.He's also asking me to meet,perhaps so he doesn't feel all guilty but I'm not sure if I want to,I don't want sympathy.
Try not to take it personally. It's not you. It's just bad timing. Sometimes things just don't work out and those experiences make us stronger, more confident really for the next relationship. Not everybody is going to love us and we're not going to love everybody. Not everyone's right for us and we're not right for everyone. Take that mindset and let it make you more confident.
At least you know and got your answers. He didn't leave you hanging. That shows his respect for you and in the end that's all any of us really want - is to be respected.
click to expand
Leo sun, the "the ideally perfect woman" does not exist.
Posted by IlovemyaquaPosted by truecapPosted by IlovemyaquaIt's all good. Talk it out, that helps.
.Sorry for the rant.click to expand
Posted by capricornmoonYes,I know what you mean.
They're really not that in love with you.
Exactly. Perfect is whatever and whoever you decide is perfect for you. Yes, the ones we love need to have something that no one else has, but all the rest you have to learn to love. Also I don't think someone who likes you and spends time with you doesn't find at least a dozen interesting and cool things about you besides liking to be with you. But Aquas are crazily idealistic, that'S true. And sometimes intolerant. Don't fret, don't be afraid. Maybe he just needs to digest what you said. It takes more than a few days for most of us. : )
You can't force love and that goes double for Aquas. When I fall in love, I'm like a bull in a china cabinet, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
If you cross paths again, and decide to give him a second chance, don't make it easy, make him prove it.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
If you cross paths again, and decide to give him a second chance, don't make it easy, make him prove it.
Posted by GennieYou sound like my aqua man when he said the gravity of the question of getting into a relationship is as much as that of making a decision to have kids.
We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
Posted by Gennieis this an air dominant thing?? forcing love?
You can't force love and that goes double for Aquas. When I fall in love, I'm like a bull in a china cabinet, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
If you cross paths again, and decide to give him a second chance, don't make it easy, make him prove it.
i notice that there are men who wait in the wings for women to be vulnerable and in hopes that he will capture her in her vulnerable state, IGNORING that she doesn't love you back...not in the way he would like.
and then the relationship turns BAD and toxic because DEEPLY there was no love and foundation to begin with.
just CONQUEST.
so i wonder if there are women like this too?
it should be similar, just reverse it to female....
going for someone that doesn't want you back.
wanting what you can't have....again this is a HUGE problem for folks.
UNREQUITED love.
it should be similar, just reverse it to female....
going for someone that doesn't want you back.
wanting what you can't have....again this is a HUGE problem for folks.
UNREQUITED love.
maybe it's just an INDIVIDUAL thing....
wanting what you can't have...
Blondie sums it up GOOD.....she will get you get you get you...STALKER.
then throw you away....because there was no love deep down. Just conquest.
wanting what you can't have...
Blondie sums it up GOOD.....she will get you get you get you...STALKER.
then throw you away....because there was no love deep down. Just conquest.
"One way or another i'm gonna LOSE you...i'm gonna give you the SLIP!"
towards the end of the song.
very very telling.
towards the end of the song.
very very telling.
Yep. Mine was the same way. Exactly. Fought tooth and nail against his feelings but did eventually give in. That's when all the games and uncertainty stopped.
oh good its over
Posted by tizianiI think it will be healthy for me to give up any hopes now.I was very guarded,very cautious about everything and then I thought,
As for the OP at least you both left with the respect. With that anything is possible.
'you know wht? Chuck it,I'll just be positive and see how it goes'.
Idk,maybe this was meant to happen and I blurted everything out,and the result wasn't in my favour.So I think not hoping will protect my sensitive little heart.Haven't ever bared it to anyone and the results were bad when I did.
Posted by sultrykittyI know you somehow relate to my posts.And I remember you mentioned somewhere that you both went through alot before finally settling in.I don't know,should efforts really be put in?if he does decide to be with me,will it be genuine or just because I was consistent?Because that will not be good.
Yep. Mine was the same way. Exactly. Fought tooth and nail against his feelings but did eventually give in. That's when all the games and uncertainty stopped.
Posted by tizianiYes,perhaps 🙂 I like what you wrote about the character thingy 🙂 different thought there 🙂Posted by IlovemyaquaIt's your choice. You know what's best for you. I'm just pointing out that two people can leave with a lot less than what you both gave each other. You only have to look at some of the other stories around here to see. So maybe you can take it as a good sign of your own character that you were able to provoke the side out of a man that respects you enough to tell you the truth without stringing you into doubts, and akso cares about your wellbeing (as he showed).Posted by tizianiI think it will be healthy for me to give up any hopes now.I was very guarded,very cautious about everything and then I thought,
As for the OP at least you both left with the respect. With that anything is possible.
'you know wht? Chuck it,I'll just be positive and see how it goes'.
Idk,maybe this was meant to happen and I blurted everything out,and the result wasn't in my favour.So I think not hoping will protect my sensitive little heart.Haven't ever bared it to anyone and the results were bad when I did.
It's possible to do this and not hope for anythjng more, right? Just a thought.click to expand
Yes, I do agree with Tiz's perspective. I don't think it's necessary for you to feel so fatalistic about the way this ended, but I also think it's not a bad idea to consider it over so that your heart can heal and so that you can learn the art of detachment.
The detachment you were showing has clearly been as a protective measure which is confusing to both of you. Learning to love deeply without having it control you is what Aqua can teach you better than anyone.
I won't say any more because I don't know if it's totally over or not. But I probably delayed things by being a constant presence in my Aqua's life for so long.
The detachment you were showing has clearly been as a protective measure which is confusing to both of you. Learning to love deeply without having it control you is what Aqua can teach you better than anyone.
I won't say any more because I don't know if it's totally over or not. But I probably delayed things by being a constant presence in my Aqua's life for so long.
Posted by lisabethur8It's not conquest, it's a campaign. It's not force, it's persuasion, it's seduction, it's showing the other person WHY it's a fabulous idea. Aquas tend to fall into love with close friends, so the trust and bond is already there. Moving from friendship to relationship is a natural progression for us based on what has already transpired. When an Aqua loves you they are saying they want to do whatever the two of you have been up to for the rest of their lives. It's the reason the wandering visionary comes home every night.Posted by Gennieis this an air dominant thing?? forcing love?
You can't force love and that goes double for Aquas. When I fall in love, I'm like a bull in a china cabinet, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
If you cross paths again, and decide to give him a second chance, don't make it easy, make him prove it.
i notice that there are men who wait in the wings for women to be vulnerable and in hopes that he will capture her in her vulnerable state, IGNORING that she doesn't love you back...not in the way he would like.
and then the relationship turns BAD and toxic because DEEPLY there was no love and foundation to begin with.
just CONQUEST.click to expand
An Aqua would rather break your heart and try to fix it sooner rather then wait 5 years down the road and really devastate someone. Now that is a broad generalization that doesn't take into account other placements, but I am speaking from a purely air point of view.
Posted by GennieThis is what I was trying to say. I'm not an aqua so I couldn't explain it the way an aqua can.:
You can't force love and that goes double for Aquas. When I fall in love, I'm like a bull in a china cabinet, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
t.
You had to get there on your own without pressure from him, and once you did is it so meaningful to the partner. Believe it or not, your partner does see the struggle and it means so much when you finally get where we are. 🙂
Posted by tizianiLeaving with respect like that always leaves a fond memory. That's much better than leaving the memory of psychosis. 🙂Posted by IlovemyaquaIt's your choice. You know what's best for you. I'm just pointing out that two people can leave with a lot less than what you both gave each other. You only have to look at some of the other stories around here to see. So maybe you can take it as a good sign of your own character that you were able to provoke the side out of a man that respects you enough to tell you the truth without stringing you into doubts, and akso cares about your wellbeing (as he showed).Posted by tizianiI think it will be healthy for me to give up any hopes now.I was very guarded,very cautious about everything and then I thought,
As for the OP at least you both left with the respect. With that anything is possible.
'you know wht? Chuck it,I'll just be positive and see how it goes'.
Idk,maybe this was meant to happen and I blurted everything out,and the result wasn't in my favour.So I think not hoping will protect my sensitive little heart.Haven't ever bared it to anyone and the results were bad when I did.
It's possible to do this and not hope for anythjng more, right? Just a thought.click to expand
Posted by capricornmoonI don't know if it would be settling. Sometimes you have to lose something to appreciate it and realize what you had.Posted by tizianiNo, that's not what I said. If he tries to go back to her, weasel his way back into her life,SHE should know that' he is just settling.Posted by capricornmoon"He will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing"Posted by tizianiNo it's not. Like I said, it depends on the scenerio. Her scenerio poses no favors to her. That Aqua is just blowing hot air, if and when he meets somebody he really likes, he will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing. Hell he might even tell that girl that he loves her before she gets a chance to.Posted by capricornmoonThis is a really strange way to think. Honestly really strange. When it comes to love it's like you want to lose no matter what.
And if he comes back., then he's settling. Some women are ok with being a second choice back up. Usually those women aren't really in love with the guy either, it's a mutually beneficial opportunistic relationship. But for you, it won't work because you've allowed your heart to run faster than you can walk. It will sting.
That's exactly why it isn't settlingclick to expand
Posted by capricornmoonI disagree. Not everything is so black and white in personal relationships. It depends on the situation. However, If he left her for someone else and that didn't work out and came back to her, I would agree with it being settling. In this case, though, he just doesn't want a relationship, so if he came back it would be possible he realized he had those feelings afterall.Posted by truecapPossible. But this set it free and if it comes back thing was born out of the delusions of western Hollywood movies, if he comes back just know his reasons are more self serving than anything. She's still a second choice either way.Posted by capricornmoonI don't know if it would be settling. Sometimes you have to lose something to appreciate it and realize what you had.Posted by tizianiNo, that's not what I said. If he tries to go back to her, weasel his way back into her life,SHE should know that' he is just settling.Posted by capricornmoon"He will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing"Posted by tizianiNo it's not. Like I said, it depends on the scenerio. Her scenerio poses no favors to her. That Aqua is just blowing hot air, if and when he meets somebody he really likes, he will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing. Hell he might even tell that girl that he loves her before she gets a chance to.Posted by capricornmoonThis is a really strange way to think. Honestly really strange. When it comes to love it's like you want to lose no matter what.
And if he comes back., then he's settling. Some women are ok with being a second choice back up. Usually those women aren't really in love with the guy either, it's a mutually beneficial opportunistic relationship. But for you, it won't work because you've allowed your heart to run faster than you can walk. It will sting.
That's exactly why it isn't settlingclick to expand
I will agree that It is worth a red (or yellow) flag warning and should be looked into as to his reasons. That's why one of the actual Aquarians suggested if he comes back to make him work for it.
OP, don't let our side rail conversation distract you. 🙂
Posted by capricornmoonTheir relationship isn't/wasn't as one sided as your posts seem to suggest.Posted by tizianiThat's one scenario. A second scenario is what I just stated above., *second choice* Either theory is a bitter pill to swallow for most deluded women.
I know this is the hardest thing for women to accept and possibly never understand
But very often men just don't want a woman at all. Not this one. Not that one. Not any one.
If you're talking about Western delusions then the coping mechanism of "he didn't want me because he wants some other woman" is right up there at the top.
*shrugs*click to expand
Posted by capricornmoonI don't know how my post is coming across but I'm writing here on DXP because I've been posting about him and these guys know what the situation is,so I like to let it out here because one I'm anonymous and two it feels good to discuss.I don't talk about feelings much to people in general, face to face because I hate being vulnerable but here it's okay,it's soothing because I'm anonymous.And two,I love him and hate myself already for being selfish enough to ask for a relationship.Maybe selfish sounds big but that's just how I am.Also,for me, love is prime,relationship is just an accessory but hey I feel bad because I'm human and who'll not what to be with someone they love? Getting turned down hurts,really,so I need space too,why? Because I don't want my negativity to affect him and also,it will give me time to heal so I can get back,if I may,without a bruised heart and expectations.Posted by tizianiWhat growth, Lol. The kind of growth that has her posting on Dxp and trying to doge him and keep her pride In tact?Posted by capricornmoonOr they're just moving into a new relationship thanks to growth.Posted by tizianiNo, that's not what I said. If he tries to go back to her, weasel his way back into her life,SHE should know that' he is just settling.Posted by capricornmoon"He will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing"Posted by tizianiNo it's not. Like I said, it depends on the scenerio. Her scenerio poses no favors to her. That Aqua is just blowing hot air, if and when he meets somebody he really likes, he will not let time and circumstance stop the relationship from growing. Hell he might even tell that girl that he loves her before she gets a chance to.Posted by capricornmoonThis is a really strange way to think. Honestly really strange. When it comes to love it's like you want to lose no matter what.
And if he comes back., then he's settling. Some women are ok with being a second choice back up. Usually those women aren't really in love with the guy either, it's a mutually beneficial opportunistic relationship. But for you, it won't work because you've allowed your heart to run faster than you can walk. It will sting.
That's exactly why it isn't settling
click to expand
Posted by truecapIt's okay 🙂 thanks 🙂
OP, don't let our side rail conversation distract you. 🙂
Posted by capricornmoonThat's pretty typical of Aqua males.Posted by sultrykittyNot until she uttered the words I love you and she heard back the sounds of crickets.Posted by capricornmoonTheir relationship isn't/wasn't as one sided as your posts seem to suggest.Posted by tizianiThat's one scenario. A second scenario is what I just stated above., *second choice* Either theory is a bitter pill to swallow for most deluded women.
I know this is the hardest thing for women to accept and possibly never understand
But very often men just don't want a woman at all. Not this one. Not that one. Not any one.
If you're talking about Western delusions then the coping mechanism of "he didn't want me because he wants some other woman" is right up there at the top.
*shrugs*
click to expand
Posted by GenniePosted by lisabethur8It's not conquest, it's a campaign. It's not force, it's persuasion, it's seduction, it's showing the other person WHY it's a fabulous idea. Aquas tend to fall into love with close friends, so the trust and bond is already there. Moving from friendship to relationship is a natural progression for us based on what has already transpired. When an Aqua loves you they are saying they want to do whatever the two of you have been up to for the rest of their lives. It's the reason the wandering visionary comes home every night.Posted by Gennieis this an air dominant thing?? forcing love?
You can't force love and that goes double for Aquas. When I fall in love, I'm like a bull in a china cabinet, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Using myself as an example, since I have a LOT of Air and Aqua, I wasn't even sure I was into my Scorpie and I was quietly planning an exit strategy that wouldn't leave him heartbroken because I didn't want him to get too attached. Then he did something that warmed my heart and suddenly I was looking inward at deep feels (RUN FROM THE FEELINGS). But when it clicks for an Aqua, that stubbornness and intolerance focus' into determination. We are all in, all the way, marriage and kids and whatever else comes through the door.
If you cross paths again, and decide to give him a second chance, don't make it easy, make him prove it.
i notice that there are men who wait in the wings for women to be vulnerable and in hopes that he will capture her in her vulnerable state, IGNORING that she doesn't love you back...not in the way he would like.
and then the relationship turns BAD and toxic because DEEPLY there was no love and foundation to begin with.
just CONQUEST.
An Aqua would rather break your heart and try to fix it sooner rather then wait 5 years down the road and really devastate someone. Now that is a broad generalization that doesn't take into account other placements, but I am speaking from a purely air point of view.click to expand
lady you are wrong. i hate HATE having to sound like i'm bragging about the men that have come up to me and wanted to be MY friend. SO MANY. in college, and even when i worked full time. but they were men who were very very ambitious and established and i didnt want them more than a friend. ok?? CAPICE? maybe YOU.
but when i look back they only wanted to hang out with me because i looked "pretty" and "sweet"? maybe. i have NO idea. but if i dont feel anything or any connection with a man...it will NEVER go anywhere.
and even MONEY? you think money works? HELL NO. there were men who had ALOT of money and i didnt want them at all. YUCK.
ops got passionate there lol
it might be you all are talking about aquarius males? wouldnt it depend on their mars/venus??
it might be you all are talking about aquarius males? wouldnt it depend on their mars/venus??
Posted by capricornmoonWe're dealing with AQUA men here. They are not your average man and definitely not a Leo.Posted by sultrykittyNot until she uttered the words I love you and she heard back the sounds of crickets.Posted by capricornmoonTheir relationship isn't/wasn't as one sided as your posts seem to suggest.Posted by tizianiThat's one scenario. A second scenario is what I just stated above., *second choice* Either theory is a bitter pill to swallow for most deluded women.
I know this is the hardest thing for women to accept and possibly never understand
But very often men just don't want a woman at all. Not this one. Not that one. Not any one.
If you're talking about Western delusions then the coping mechanism of "he didn't want me because he wants some other woman" is right up there at the top.
*shrugs*
click to expand
The first time I told my aqua man I loved him, he didn't say it back. He wasn't negative about it, just didn't reciprocate. He didn't say anything, but he did give me a quick kiss. (It was midnight on New Years Eve). One and a half years later, he said it on his own without pressure from me. Three years later, he says it every day. Now we're almost four years in and talking about getting married in the near future.
So, hearing crickets is not an indication.
In OP's case he told her right away he didn't want a relationship. Had mine told me what hers told her, I would be hurt and vulnerable, just like OP and trying to talk it out and move on, just like OP.
I only commented back because sometimes when someone doesn't say it back, it only means they're not ready to say it.
Posted by lisabethur8Yes we're talking about Aquas and Aqua Males in particular and their relationship woes. There might be a small subset of oddly placed Aquas who don't pull partners from their friend pools, but I haven't met any. We're the last ones to say "I love you" even when we want to, we seem almost physically incapable of choking the words out unless some whiskey is involved. Other sites says we fall in and out of love easy if we also have Venus in Aqua but that's incorrect. We fall in love with deep and meaningful friendships. We fall in infatuation with people who have ideas we find innovative, kinda like hero worship. We seem to get over heartbreak the fastest of all the signs. When we decide to settle down, it doesn't matter how far we wander, we always come back home.
ops got passionate there lol
it might be you all are talking about aquarius males? wouldnt it depend on their mars/venus??
@Op
Yes move away it's for the best....I know you are just thinking 100/hour like I do too when it comes to problems or even an interest, but both of our moon signs are able to actually pick up our hearts and carry them to the next one. Lol think of something you won't tolerate any more. I do that, but take this time to be single and improve yourself, go somewhere like spa and manicures, movies, etc..
Yes move away it's for the best....I know you are just thinking 100/hour like I do too when it comes to problems or even an interest, but both of our moon signs are able to actually pick up our hearts and carry them to the next one. Lol think of something you won't tolerate any more. I do that, but take this time to be single and improve yourself, go somewhere like spa and manicures, movies, etc..
Um. When are we gonna start really listening? He said he not ready for a relationship right? That was your cue to leave or jus be his friend. Forget how he's acting like he cares you admitted you love him now he's being nice. When it's all said and done he's gonna moved on like the breeze and you'll be stuck.
Live your life I don't care what sign you are. They will claim and show you that you're all they want.
Wake up and live
Live your life I don't care what sign you are. They will claim and show you that you're all they want.
Wake up and live
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