An old Aries female flame

I don’t want to read too much in to this but recently in the past year my ex has reached out to me (Aries female), as friends she has said. Not that it matters I’m 34 and a guy lol she’s 27,I’m a Gem.

There is some history between us. We dated back in summer 2015, 6 months later my brother suddenly passed in a tragic accident. 5 months later we broke up, various reasons. I was going through some real grief and I guess in turn expressed that to her, quite rightly she stood her ground and walked away. I insisted it’d be hard to be friends. We went separate ways in August 2016, after trying to be friends.

She contacted me in Nov that year after an accident happened on a train I normally take. Wasn’t on it. After that, sporadic messaging, just asking after each other. In May 2017 she asks to meet as friends. I did thinking I was over her as I dated someone else in between. We met and a rush of feelings came back, anyway a month later it didn’t end well haha.

I said I won’t contact her but I know she will I’m 2 months we’ll it was 4 actually. Thing is she insists it’s friends, I’m curious as to why she would want to be friends after the history we have had. And as you Aries woman are so strong minded she knows what she wants. She’s asked to meet again In the last month, I put it off for 3 weeks and she jumped when I mentioned meeting this week. I saw her in a dating app and she and she saw me, since I can’t find her on it!!! But she has been Very keen and responsive of late?!!!

I’m just very curious how to play this!! Does she gehinely want a friendship even after me expressing the way I feel about it. I’m kind of not bothered with her at the moment. But if something were to arise I’d be happy for it as I feel we finished under such sad circumstances...

It’s funny that try mentuon that. Since we broke up, and afyerbwhat happened in my life I realised life is too short to sit and dwell and it do the things the want.

I changed my career, sought counselling. I’m a totally different person to an extent. So I think she can see that. At times I feel she’s testing me and things will play out how she wants. As I’ve said Ive told her how I felt about being a “friend”. She in turn has expressed how she doesn’t want anything other than a friendship. So it’s weirs that she keeps seeking it.

I’m just going to play it as it is.

We did at times get real irate but we also hadn’t such a good time, explored new things. I encouraged her to seek a job she desperately wanted but initially she declined the process and backed out. She hasn’t told me that if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have accepted, she now has it and already promoted.

I like her, but as I said I want to seek life not be held or play mind games.

Sorry on an iPhone so typos.

Posted by doublesidedGem
I don’t want to read too much in to this but recently in the past year my ex has reached out to me (Aries female), as friends she has said. Not that it matters I’m 34 and a guy lol she’s 27,I’m a Gem.

There is some history between us. We dated back in summer 2015, 6 months later my brother suddenly passed in a tragic accident. 5 months later we broke up, various reasons. I was going through some real grief and I guess in turn expressed that to her, quite rightly she stood her ground and walked away. I insisted it’d be hard to be friends. We went separate ways in August 2016, after trying to be friends.

She contacted me in Nov that year after an accident happened on a train I normally take. Wasn’t on it. After that, sporadic messaging, just asking after each other. In May 2017 she asks to meet as friends. I did thinking I was over her as I dated someone else in between. We met and a rush of feelings came back, anyway a month later it didn’t end well haha.

I said I won’t contact her but I know she will I’m 2 months we’ll it was 4 actually. Thing is she insists it’s friends, I’m curious as to why she would want to be friends after the history we have had. And as you Aries woman are so strong minded she knows what she wants. She’s asked to meet again In the last month, I put it off for 3 weeks and she jumped when I mentioned meeting this week. I saw her in a dating app and she and she saw me, since I can’t find her on it!!! But she has been Very keen and responsive of late?!!!

I’m just very curious how to play this!! Does she gehinely want a friendship even after me sexpressing the way I feel about it. I’m kind of not bothered with her at the moment. But if something were to arise I’d be happy for it as I feel we finished under such sad circumstances...

You rightly shouldn't read too much into this situation and just go with the flow. I'm not your ex so I cannot say for certain exactly what her reasons are, but in general I can say she just wants to be friends.

most of the recent threads have been about Aries MEN, and as was mentioned before on numerous occasions, the men are VERY different from the women, especially in terms of how they handle relationships.

I would suggest, again, just go with the flow, clear your mind of expectations ( which can often lead to disappointment). She probably grew concerned when that train accident happened, and also knowing about your brother's passing and how you handled your grief gave her cause for concern.

I recently met up with an old flame ( if you could call him that) - we used to date 20+ years ago and eventually things didn't work out and we went separate ways. But have still remained friends for the last 20 years.

So yes, go with the flow. But if it still bothers you, talk to her about it. Just try not to have any expectations.

Posted by bittercupcake

Posted by doublesidedGem
I like her, but as I said I want to seek life not be held or play mind games.

Someone else on DXP has said this before. Which is ironic since Geminis are much more prone to play mind games (air) than an Aries. Fire signs are some of the most blunt and straightforward people of the zodiac, and none can be said rings more true than with an Aries... who are known to be so blunt - to the point of being total assholes about it (I blame it on Mars, their ruler).

Aries are not playing mind games. What they say, is what they feel. They might lie or exaggerate about other things but when it comes to where they stand (emotionally), they're pretty clear... it's the receiving party that is usually always trying to decipher that meaning. Especially a Gemini who's prone to overthinking and over-analization to the point of anxiety. Not realizing that they are actually the most simplest of creatures in the zodiac and the most transparent. Grey is seemingly nonexistent to an Aries. Ask them how they feel and then watch their behavior. 9/10 their words will match that or something close to that. If there's hesitation, too much gray, or doubt - then it's as simple as them not being emotionally invested in you.

Despite what they say about Arians, they are sweet. They're not people who like to hold on to grudges as it puts a damper on their fire (passion). So being friends with an ex, even on peaceful terms, is enough for them to reach out as if nothing ever happened.

My sister is still best friends with her Gemini ex. I can tell that he's still madly in love with her because the way he expresses himself regarding her, how he caters to her, and all the things he does for her. Even after being married and having kids with another woman. But to my sister, he is just that... a friend.

click to expand

That is quite spot on actually

OP,

Just some food for thought. A close friend of mine, her parents are Aries female/ Gemini male (Aries Sun/Gem moon and Gemini sun/Sag moon) - married for 39 years. They got married against parental consent and lived together through difficult times during the Communist era (they're Romanian).

So it can work, provided both parties want it to work.

But please, at this juncture, bear in mind to pace yourself and not expect too much out of your revived interactions with her.

So go with the flow.

All the best.

Sounds like she still cares for u but just wants to be friends

Thanks for your insight all.

Like I said I’m just trying not to read too much into it - but I mean she changed a profile pic to one she took while we was away April 2016 (not of us), she has never done that in between then and now.

One other thing, she openly admitting to testing a guy about dating a friend of hers, turns out she liked him. Showed me the pic and I was like “erm yeah she’s nice” she immediately shot down any idea of me and her friend meeting lol. Saying it’s be weird. Why we don’t hang in the same circles, and I’ve made it clear regarding a full on friendship with her, so why so weird?! It felt weird though talking about dating other people with her, I expressed that (in a general conversation way) but she never replied and quickly replied to the following message that I was looking forward to meeting up. Which she is too it seems. I

Anyway, I’m not sure but will just go with this flow at the minute. I feel she’s kind of testing but if I say anything she’ll quickly deny it.

Posted by ariesno
Yeah, I don’t know. I see so many threads lately about geminis being broken hearted over some aries. And it baffles me and truly makes me sad, ‘cause I can’t imagine an aries wanting to hurt someone -- especially a gem -- on purpose. I always imagined it would be the aries that would end up heartbroken in the end. I maybe feel like it’s lack of communication that often gets in the way of this pairing. Neither the aries nor the gemini will tell the other how they feel, or ask the necessary questions in order to move forward, and sooner or later one of them gets tired of feeling rejected and leaves. And then they just blow up on each other, and all hell breaks loose.

I know, dealing with the gems in my life, that I definitely had to learn how to control my anger and to be patient (when they have one of their mood swings). Maybe it’s just me growing up. But yeah, I guess it’s kind of like what @bittercupcake is saying; essentially, it’s two children trying to make it work. But that can work to our advantage. I’ve discovered that if I just tell a gemini that they’re hurting/bothering me, they will stop doing it. ‘Cause just like a child, they didn’t mean to hurt anybody. And I think this would work the other way around as well, but in my experience, the geminis rarely tells me if their hurt or feel rejected. And then I can never know. So yeah, lack of communication, probably.

Anyway. In this case I’m afraid it’s actually quite simple. I’ve been in a similar situation, and sure, I miss my ex sometimes, but I could never get back together with him. 1) I’m not attracted to him anymore; 2) He’s hurt me so much in the past that there’s no way we could ever move past that. But sometimes I find myself wishing for a friendship, because I miss our conversations. So I kind of dip my toe in from time to time. But then I realize that I’m too proud to just forgive and forget what happened, and I pull back once again. She cares for you and thinks about you, though. That is very obvious. After that train accident, she instantly thought of you? That’s good news. Still, I think she just wants friendship. And as you said, she knows what she wants, so she probably won’t stop until she gets it.

Do you still have feelings for her at this point? Is she still saying it’s just friendship?

Sorry briefly read through things. I feel she is like that. I know she doesn’t contact other ex’s the way she does with me. I like her feel there a connection. The last couple of days we’ve shared a couple of pictures of sunsets on our holiday with each other and most recently walking home from work.

I do still have feelings for her, more than I realise, I think she was the first I’d really loved since my first adult relationship. I haven’t asked her anything as I feel she’s testing, like you said as soon as I’ve mentioned something previously she’s shot it down, brick wall comes up and avoids any contact. Until she’s ready to message. I can read her like a book.

We’ve messaged over the last couple of days and I’ve been cheeky about my invite to her new place haha, she hasn’t said no. Our last message 29 mins ago she said her head is all over the place. I’ve casually mentioned if she wants to vent, my ears are big enough, Sarcasm hah!

Haha, I’m not weak. But I’m not about to get burned by her again. We spoke on the phone tonight for like nearly 2 hours.

She brought up things when we went away last year to Ireland.

I don’t think she is testing per se, but I’ve said that I’m in place if I meet someone great. She said the dating site was shit, but the crush she had at work she is over and has a couple of dates lined up. I think that is where is she is saving pride 😉!

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted if anything progresses, I’m taking it real slow if there is.