Aries and anger

Hey yall! Quick question. How do you control your anger? Say, if something doesn't go as you'd like and it makes you angry. The Aries I know tend to spout out in a tirade and take it out on whoever is around. Even though you know it is an aries trait and you know it's not personal, it's still hurtful and disrespectful to the other person.

So, what techniques do you use to keep this from happening?
What can the other person do or say to make it stop? Or rather what's the best reaction that puts it in perspective for you?

Thanks ahead of time for your help and honezty.

I don't tend to get physical, I'm more of a loud argumentative person with a sharp tongue. The person can stop me just by simply using logic to come to an agreement. I'm all about justice and fairness so that will work.

Aries are like children they have a temper tantrum its funny to observe a grown person acting that way, it usually happens when something doesn't go the way they want it. As a Cancer man it was funny to get the Aries staff members I worked with angry enough they have a temper tantrum. When they get angry yes they start saying things that can be or could be hurtful.

As for quick temper it all depends on who it is they angry at if its people they know its not so quick with people they don't know I've found its instantaneous anger. For people they know it takes quite a bit of prodding to get the anger to build up.

What about just walking away from you?

I have a Scorpio Midheaven and Part of Fortune in the 10th House. So if you're talking about the work environment like Stihl46 is referring to, I'm going to set you up... righteously and ernestly. The best you can do is rectify the situation by coming clean and openly and honestly discussing how the behavior or situation will not occur again. Make me believe you; once again this is a Scorpio Midheaven and Part of Fortune so I'll be able to tell if you are lying... (also Pluto in the 8th).

Secondly, I refer mentally to my hierarchy of needs. If it doesn't involve one of those categories directly, I will not care and have no reaction... indifference.

My anger is righteous, my aim is good, and you will experience an awakening. Hold my hand. I'm your spiritual guide.

Strangers... I let it rip raw. It's usually just an exercise and freedom of letting it all hang out.

However, my Sun has progressed into Taurus and I don't feel like that shit. I will try to avoid it, patience. But, it's worse this way. When I've had enough, the friction between not feeling like it and needing to deal with it... simultaneously... makes me a monster.

Hurtful and disrespectful... you damned right. I you will feel me. I don't want a reoccurrence of the situation so I make sure that you don't want the pain and shame of crossing me again.

Otherwise and in the meantime, I workout and/or listen to extremely aggressive music. I fantasize causing you physical harm to keep from causing you physical harm.

My 18 yo aries son wants to yell at me occasionally and take things out on me that are not my fault. We have had plenty of talks about respect and handling anger, he seems to respond with understanding, however it keeps gappening.

I have walked away from him in the past, however, it is only a short term solution.

Most of the time he is sweet and respectful and helpful...until something happens where things don't go the way he wants.

I refuse to be disrespected in a house I pay for and when I'm providing for his livelihood. I am to the point that the next time he yells at me, I will be throwing all his clothes on the lawn.

Maybe I should have included this in my original post.

Happening not gappening. Lol

What is your son's Ascendant? I ask because this is the sign your family gave him... where he fits in. What planets are there? What is his 7th house? 4th house... the home, what planets? What’s his Moon (representing you, the mother)?

You may not want to answer these astrological questions here... explore the answers yourself.

Other than that, I have a Taurus son who is stubborn. When logic, reasoning, moral and human appeal failed, I have had to get physical.

I always slap for disrespect.

As a result, he has rarely disrespected me.

He voluntarily gives heartfelt apologies.

Punching a baby

Posted by champranger

Posted by truecap
My 18 yo aries son wants to yell at me occasionally and take things out on me that are not my fault. We have had plenty of talks about respect and handling anger, he seems to respond with understanding, however it keeps gappening.

I have walked away from him in the past, however, it is only a short term solution.

Most of the time he is sweet and respectful and helpful...until something happens where things don't go the way he wants.

I refuse to be disrespected in a house I pay for and when I'm providing for his livelihood. I am to the point that the next time he yells at me, I will be throwing all his clothes on the lawn.

Maybe I should have included this in my original post.

I think it may help to discipline him in the area he cares or values the most.

click to expand

He's a freshman in college.

Posted by truecap
Hey yall! Quick question. How do you control your anger? Say, if something doesn't go as you'd like and it makes you angry. The Aries I know tend to spout out in a tirade and take it out on whoever is around. Even though you know it is an aries trait and you know it's not personal, it's still hurtful and disrespectful to the other person.

So, what techniques do you use to keep this from happening?
What can the other person do or say to make it stop? Or rather what's the best reaction that puts it in perspective for you?

I don't...i just spout out in a tirade and take it out on whoever is around. lol I can't help it. My anger is total, visceral, all-encompassing. That's just Aries, it's raw power.
I had an Aries yell at me once, it was harsh, i just closed my eyes, let it pass, and then responded with logic. He calmed down right away. We need to be treated as non-freaks, and mirrored with logic and the truth, it's ALL we need.

An Aries first goal is TRUTH.

Truecap,

When you say his anger is displayed when, " things don't go his way." He may be asserting a desire for indepence, some control over his life. Aries are extremely independent. However, with indepence comes responsibility that he may not be aware of.

My son us an adult as well. He is 20. I looked at the condition of his Moon to gain perspective on our relationship and how he feels about me... the aspects: positive, negative; what houses these aspects fall in i.e, the area of life; and, which house his Moon is placed.

I wanted to make sure I did not have any illusions or blind spots as childrearing is near over.. how well did do? My Taurus is holding on to childhood and won't let go. I did too well.

I then, had a discussion with him about his childhood and my parenting to wrap up, bring to and end this period in our lives. We then talked about our future together and apart: our expectations of each other, how we will handle conflict, etc.

Thanks for all the comments. It's helpful.

He has
Sun: Aries
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Aries
Venus: Aries
Mars: Virgo
Ascendent: Gemini

Breastfeeding and a burp. Puts em right to bed 😄

Posted by champranger

Posted by truecap
He has
Sun: Aries
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Aries
Venus: Aries
Mars: Virgo
Ascendent: Gemini

I think perhaps his Libra Moon would the key to helping him with his anger. He's a triple fire like I am. I definitely had a lot of trouble with anger control when I was in 1st year undergrad.

Maybe challenge him about controlling his anger? Draw out his competitive side? Give him a motive to look for anger management ways that works for him?

click to expand

He's been sweet this week and he's been going to the gym everyday. So maybe I can point that out to him.

Posted by champranger

Posted by RumiLove

Posted by truecap
He has
Sun: Aries
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Aries
Venus: Aries
Mars: Virgo
Ascendent: Gemini

Omg mercury ARIES.

Your mercury is..?

I'm a Pisces mercury. Both my parents have SAG mercury. They could kill me with their yelling if it weren't for my father.

And your son has Aries merc. I'll just wish you luck lol. But don't worry...aries get over things fast. They cannot remain angry for long. With Libra moon, I'm sure he'll be more balanced as he grows up. Just try to overlook those bursts of anger. He'll calm down...with that Virgo mars and moon 🙂 plus, as far as I know, a simple SIMCERE gesture of small sorry/lets patch up should make an Aries come forward and patch up 🙂 ..they forget their anger as quickly as they get it.

Truecap's a triple Cap (Sun, Moon, Merc) and her son is a triple Aries (Sun, Merc, Venus). This is like putting oil and water together lol.

click to expand

Yes, it's not a good combo. We're both pushy and outspoken. lol!

His Moon is not in a good position.  His Moon opposes all of his Aries placements as Aries and Libra are opposing signs.  The Moon represents the mother, relationship with the mother, how he is nurtured and emotions.  His emotions, his relationship with his mother opposes so much in his chart: his Sun, identity, vitality, reasoning; his Mercury, communication, ideas; and Venus, how he approaches relationships, pleasure, love nature.  His Moon opposes all of this.  Opposition requires balance.  This all illustrates what you allude to about your relationship with your son and it is very clear as to the conflict you describe.

His Mars (energy, action, and drive, survival instinct, things that trigger his and anger and how he responds to it, etc.) squares his Ascendant - all the conformity, assimilation, survival skill taught by the family.  His Ascendant is truly a mask if he has no planets in Gemini or Cancer (I am not certain of the degree of the houses without seeing the chart).  At least mutable signs are involved instead of Fire or Fixed signs.  However, these mutable signs may account for the “flip-flop” you describe in his negative behavior.

Mars in Virgos negative side is exactly as you described.  The darkside of this placement is usually ignited “when things don’t go his way.”  The sign Virgo desires perfection and on the darkside can be easily annoyed and become critical, nagging, complaining, and nervous.  This expressed through a Fire Mercury, such as Aries or Leo, can be rather aggressive, even explosive. 

I would guess that the balance that needs to be garnered is typical to the Aries/Libra axis:  independence versus dependence; conflict and resolution;   personal responsibility vs. when to ask for help. If you want things to go your way, you must do it entirely yourself(Aries) and cannot blame or take it out on others (Libra).  And at 18, he just may not be there yet…. growing pains?

And, if you have many Capricorn placements… they square all of his Aries placements.  In consideration of chart overlay, I guess that your Capricorn placements may all fall in his 8th house which is quite Freudian this coupled with Moon oppositions Venus can be a rather problematic indicator for relationships with women…. Saturn in the 8th house...burr.

On the topic of Gemini Ascendant children:

I have a Gemini Ascendant child and am very proud of this because I am Gemini dominant... my #1 dominant sign. I have Moon, Mars, and Saturn in Gemini so, in a chart overlay, all of my Gemini placements fall in my daughters 1st house ruled by Aries and I am an Aries. And, with all this considered, she has Jupiter in her 1st house, in Cancer, which is Jupiter exalted.

The family dynamics is representative of the Ascendant. It is what the family teaches a child whether consciously and/or subconsciously, what the child sense of its environment, etc.

I strongly advice to not ignore the behavior of a Gemini Ascendant child and you will see the reasons why if you look into Gemini Ascendants... communication is key with theses ones. You can and should be crafty with your communication as these Ascendants are very receptive to it and cunning with it. But, do not ignore... it is very harsh treatment to these ones and wouldn't resolve anything. You may get tired of how much you have to communicate... stay the course. It is also good to use varying methods of communication.

With my daughter having Jupiter in the 1st, I used the bible and other books. They seem to appreciate (even respect) the written word. She is a tween so I am still shaping her and would use charts and graphs. But, for you and yours, at his age, another method would be letters to him... positive and negative... love notes, texts, heartfelt letter of disappointment and or approval.

Okay, I will stop now. I just care very much. My Moon in the 5th is truly loving this topic. I'm all about motherhood and absolutely love children and motherhood. I never tire of parenting which is probably why my Taurus son is so comfy.

Posted by VenusAquarius
Okay, I will stop now. I just care very much. My Moon in the 5th is truly loving this topic. I'm all about motherhood and absolutely love children and motherhood. I never tire of parenting which is probably why my Taurus son is so comfy.

Wow. You really know your stuff. I will take what you said and let it sink in and try to apply it.

Thank you.