Aries Emotional Detatchment

Does anyone feel frustrated when trying to reveal your true feelings and emotions to people close to you. I find it hard to present my feelings of sorrow and pain to my mother and sister because they don't take it seriously. My mother will smirk at me (shes an aqua with moon Pisces ascendant pisces) so to think she would get me. My sisters a tuarus so she just laughs in pleasure of my pain and agony. Only when she hurts me will she respond in a matter of depth to my pain. But they don't take my feelings seriously because rarely am i ever sad and down so they dont believe it. That being said its soooooo easy for me to express myself to strangers or people that are not close to me. I find it almost impossible to release my feelings to the one im in love with. It will leave me vulnerable to know they can or can't relate and the feelings not mutual. I dont even know why i reveal my true feelings its so pointless. No one is going to help me and and i see it as weak.

I don't think most people like to be put in a state of vulnerability, especially with people close enough to hurt you. Hurt is deeper from family and lovers because we tend to value the things they say and do more than the words and actions of a complete stranger. That being said, my mother is also a pisces and my sister is also a taurus... over the years I have grown closer to my sister but there was a time when she would laugh at my pain as well. My mother rarely does and rarely has ever taken my thoughts and feelings/emotions seriously, and believe me, I know how excruciating that pain can be. That being said, please don't give up on expressing yourself to others, especially a lover. A lover should be the one person that understands you above all, or even if they don't fully understand, they KNOW that they don't understand and they love you despite your emotional storms and feelings of inadequacy.

Please don't hesitate to ever send me a message if you need to let off steam or are going through a rough time. Everyone needs someone to listen, even if it is a complete stranger.
Things will get better, I promise.

I was married to the same person for a long, long time. More than once she commented on the fact that others would tell her how much fun I was to be around, always cheery, etc, but that with her I was much more sober and perhaps even dour at times. I told her that "I will lie to them, I won't lie to you!"

Essentially, I have a public facade that I hide behind. People can have a real problem when I drop that facade and actually reveal myself. I am not supposed to be a deep thinker, I am not supposed to be easily hurt, I am not supposed to be on and on and on. Apparently being vulnerable is not something I am allowed. Never figured that one out, either. I just stay behind my facade as much as I can, cause it hurts when I come out.

A lousy answer for you, but the real one.

Posted by Chachacha


Does anyone feel frustrated when trying to reveal your true feelings and emotions to people close to you.


I dont even know why i reveal my true feelings its so pointless. No one is going to help me and and i see it as weak.

I used to be frustrated. Now I don't bother telling anyone who doesn't care and/or can't do anything to help (rantings on DXP don't count!!)

Life is better, safer, when no one knows your weak spots.

Posted by dofacc
I was married to the same person for a long, long time. More than once she commented on the fact that others would tell her how much fun I was to be around, always cheery, etc, but that with her I was much more sober and perhaps even dour at times. I told her that "I will lie to them, I won't lie to you!"

Essentially, I have a public facade that I hide behind. People can have a real problem when I drop that facade and actually reveal myself. I am not supposed to be a deep thinker, I am not supposed to be easily hurt, I am not supposed to be on and on and on. Apparently being vulnerable is not something I am allowed. Never figured that one out, either. I just stay behind my facade as much as I can, cause it hurts when I come out.

A lousy answer for you, but the real one.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this

And it's not a lousy answer. It's golden.
Headbutt.

What your saying is so true. Both of you i like being vulnerable only when its understood. I too have a phony facade. And its the same qualities as yours.

Posted by Chachacha
What your saying is so true. Both of you i like being vulnerable only when its understood. I too have a phony facade. And its the same qualities as yours.

Nothing phony about it. Just sensible protection.

Yes, yes and yes. I cannot tell the person I was involved with one single feeling I had toward them except that I liked being around them.
He would yell, beg, and scream at me to tell him how I felt, what I wanted...I just sat there silent.
I didn't want to, well I did, but I was afraid. Of being hurt, of showing all my heart and insides.
(I'm a Scorpio moon, emotions run HIGH), but mostly I was like blocked, the cat had my tongue, I could not speak, it would not come out. I don't know why, but maybe my brain was protecting my heart?

^^^

What has to happen is that we Aries have to develop a deep sense of trust, and then we open up. For a bunch of people who are generally thought of as gullible and innocent, we can be remarkably defensive. This is part of my point when I talk about the person I was married to for so long. There was, and indeed still is, a rather profound sense of trust between us. Neither of us cheated, nor have we been vengeful. It was the real me she saw, plain and simple. Very few other people have ever seen that Dofacc...

Wow....you guys look like you could do with a hug 🙂

Yes I am the same way you described. I open up to people i dont know very well easily. My other friends and family I think they think I am a very capable and independent person who has it all figured out. SO whenever i tell them that i am sad or depressed they dont take it serious. Which is why i feel better when I isolate myself because I feel no one can understand me but me.

O and I put on a really good facade too really good

Posted by bkbella86
Yes I am the same way you described. I open up to people i dont know very well easily. My other friends and family I think they think I am a very capable and independent person who has it all figured out. SO whenever i tell them that i am sad or depressed they dont take it serious. Which is why i feel better when I isolate myself because I feel no one can understand me but me.

Don't you have a Cancerian in your family or friends circle? A cancer would pick up on this even without you telling them a thing. It happens to me all the time, I walk up to someone and ask them what's bothering them and then it all comes tumbling out from their side including the tears, then I comfort them. I can always sense it and I think most cancers can. I am surprised you haven't had that experience within your friends and family circle.

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by bkbella86
Yes I am the same way you described. I open up to people i dont know very well easily. My other friends and family I think they think I am a very capable and independent person who has it all figured out. SO whenever i tell them that i am sad or depressed they dont take it serious. Which is why i feel better when I isolate myself because I feel no one can understand me but me.

Don't you have a Cancerian in your family or friends circle? A cancer would pick up on this even without you telling them a thing. It happens to me all the time, I walk up to someone and ask them what's bothering them and then it all comes tumbling out from their side including the tears, then I comfort them. I can always sense it and I think most cancers can. I am surprised you haven't had that experience within your friends and family circle.

click to expand

Yeah actually I do my mom is one and so is my aunt. My mother does know a lil bit about how I've been feeling but not entirely.

Posted by incandescentcancer

Posted by bkbella86
Yes I am the same way you described. I open up to people i dont know very well easily. My other friends and family I think they think I am a very capable and independent person who has it all figured out. SO whenever i tell them that i am sad or depressed they dont take it serious. Which is why i feel better when I isolate myself because I feel no one can understand me but me.

Don't you have a Cancerian in your family or friends circle? A cancer would pick up on this even without you telling them a thing. It happens to me all the time, I walk up to someone and ask them what's bothering them and then it all comes tumbling out from their side including the tears, then I comfort them. I can always sense it and I think most cancers can. I am surprised you haven't had that experience within your friends and family circle.

click to expand

Cancers are all about comfort and love and teaching how to love. One time my ex`s father who is a Cancer kept trying to educate me about love the first time i met him. He was like quizzing me.

His question: What would you do if your married and your husband cheated on you?
My answer: I would try to make it work out because marriage is a contract and im not trying break it but, thus i would fuck up his car and life temporarily in the process. =D

His question: Whats love/ or something like how do you know your in love?
My answer: When your away from the person and you feel an emptiness you miss them and think about them all the time
His answer: No that's not love, love is when you feel it in your stomach.

I know what hes talking about but they can be very stubborn sometimes. He kept telling me there's no after life which i beg to differ.

He also told me that anything could happen i could fall in love with my ex's friend. Im like no that wouldn't happen, he was like anything can happen. I'm 100% sure that wouldn't happen i don't even go out of my way to make sure i don't fall for any of my ex's friends. I just know where my boundaries are and i know the consequences.

WTF...LOL.^^^^^^

Posted by Chachacha

Cancers are all about comfort and love and teaching how to love. One time my ex`s father who is a Cancer kept trying to educate me about love the first time i met him. He was like quizzing me.

His question: What would you do if your married and your husband cheated on you?
My answer: I would try to make it work out because marriage is a contract and im not trying break it but, thus i would fuck up his car and life temporarily in the process. =D

His question: Whats love/ or something like how do you know your in love?
My answer: When your away from the person and you feel an emptiness you miss them and think about them all the time
His answer: No that's not love, love is when you feel it in your stomach.

I know what hes talking about but they can be very stubborn sometimes. He kept telling me there's no after life which i beg to differ.

He also told me that anything could happen i could fall in love with my ex's friend. Im like no that wouldn't happen, he was like anything can happen. I'm 100% sure that wouldn't happen i don't even go out of my way to make sure i don't fall for any of my ex's friends. I just know where my boundaries are and i know the consequences.

Some of his thoughts resonate with mine but there are some points where I strongly identify with or think is worth a mention,

1) Your definition of love is the best way to put it, you really must feel a yearning for that person when they aren't around. All this "feeling" in your stomach is garbage.

2) Cancers as far as I know them and myself are definitely not the stubborn type. We are a cardinal sign just like Aries and tend to learn and evolve. This just sounds like an older person who believes he has all the answers in the universe, I don't think you should take this as a reflection of every cancer and,

3) The whole discussion about falling in love with an ex's friend I think can go either way. I think your moral and ethical compass is strong and you won't compromise but he was right in saying that it would work out for a lot of people.

I realize that I would have given the exact same answer as yours for all his questions, that's pretty amazing regardless of the star sign and I think that comes from many other factors aside from the zodiac!

I find that when I ask for help, I get some very mixed reactions. For one thing it seems that I can't speak my native tongue, or perhaps it is the thick accent I have from using that language my entire life. Really, how hard is it to understand some things. "Hey, I hit my thumb with a hammer, and it hurts!" The response is so very often "Huh?" "Hand me that green screwdriver, please." Of course, I am handed that stupid black hammer, instead. Really, I cannot begin to tell you how often that sort of thing happens to me.

I also have to slow wwwaaaayyyyy down for most other people. That tends to make it hard for me to ask for help, and for others to give that help. Seriously, routine tasks that should take maybe 2 minutes can take 5-10 minutes by some people. They have done this very task, hundreds if not thousands of times, but it seems they are doing it for the very first time. Fumble, fuss, "Say, does the paper go HERE in the printer?"


I think that this is a combination of things. 1) People are not used to me asking for help, 2) they keep looking for some sort of hidden message, that is other than my thumb hurts cause I hit it with a hammer, 3) they move way slow from my perspective, and they tend to feel a bit pressured when I zoom by and do it myself without their help.

This feeds back to the emotional detachment that is the genesis of this thread. Put up the wall, keep calm and heavens sake, don't tell them that they are clueless idiots.

As for "giving in" glassblowing, it feels more like giving up, cause those dimwitted slow pokes just don't get what I am saying or trying to do. I just have to give up and find another way.

chachacha, your story is found humorous !! a learning experience too

love is a balance ( more to it, preparing to go to bed for work :/ ), from what i'm learning i guess ... and being exposed to vulnerability, and the possibility of being rejected by a certain thing,person you love to let them get near your heart and to me it's like cracking into pieces, even before the process begins to confess feelings. oh, being open to just anyone, i'm careful now then i was before... anyone can break hearts...i do believe stomach has feelings... u know, tiny little butterflies that does speedy flip flops when you see your crush/someone u like... or when stomach doesn't feel good, affected, nauseated, when something is not right... i tend to get like that... it has not happened in a while though.. it is now mental/emotional... hmm strange..

oh, and cancers, such sweethearts... they evolve quick... amazing mentality, emotional capabilities, warmhearted, generous, i am taught by my mother's sister, my aunt, who was around at the time before having a family, two girls, aquarius & pisces, and my uncle, Cancerian too.

and as well as parents, double pisces.... o_o (sometimes i wonder if i'll pair with an aries..? i don't mesh well w/fire relationships...) i'm slowly opening up to them about my feelings since summer, i know what u mean, i felt like that and still feel like that somewhat it is slowly dissipating into thin air... maybe because i'm slowly letting myself go of every emotional attachment of every little thing that happens to be in the center of my universe 😭 of course not letting go in the sense of leaving but more likely bringing into sense of within the world i have connection w/anything and everything in every minute is filled with compassion, generosity, and love... not the opposite's destructural (is it a word...) device alluded with thoughts...

it is hard to be an aries.. so far as trying not to be temperamental about certain little things that seem big to me and impatient w/love that feels like i am getting no where knowing it is somewhere but in a slow process through time...

hmm i am in the mind state too.. thinking no one will understand me even if i were to explain myself enough to be understood.... and it begins why, looking within myself, with my other half missing.... Somewhat never get to stop getting to know a person even if u think u know them entirely, somewhat along the lines i've read hehe..

... off to bed, sweet dreams 🙂

Posted by dofacc
I find that when I ask for help, I get some very mixed reactions.

I also have to slow wwwaaaayyyyy down for most other people. That tends to make it hard for me to ask for help, and for others to give that help. Seriously, routine tasks that should take maybe 2 minutes can take 5-10 minutes by some people. They have done this very task, hundreds if not thousands of times, but it seems they are doing it for the very first time. Fumble, fuss, "Say, does the paper go HERE in the printer?"


I think that this is a combination of things. 1) People are not used to me asking for help, 2) they keep looking for some sort of hidden message, that is other than my thumb hurts cause I hit it with a hammer, 3) they move way slow from my perspective, and they tend to feel a bit pressured when I zoom by and do it myself without their help.

This feeds back to the emotional detachment that is the genesis of this thread. Put up the wall, keep calm and heavens sake, don't tell them that they are clueless idiots.

As for "giving in" glassblowing, it feels more like giving up, cause those dimwitted slow pokes just don't get what I am saying or trying to do. I just have to give up and find another way.

all of this ^^

And I think people like Aries to be there when they need help, want something etc.
But if we ever ask for help in return they suffer memory loss and we get bubkus.