Aries male/Aries female question

All...

Need some help with reading this Aries male...

Was seeing an aries male who I know was into me...went out once or twice and we continued to call and text...he was married and she cheated and is now married to the other married guy she cheated with..been divorced 8 years...last relationship didn't work...so he told me he's been hurt twice.

I told him recently by text that I should be upfront with him and maybe we both should have been at the beginning and he texted back "What"? I texted "I'll call you when I have time."

I got busy and didn't and he texted a few weeks later "What did you want to tell me?" I called him the next night and told him "What are you looking for?" Wasn't sure he knew what I meant, so I said, "You know just something casual...etc"

"Not a stranglehold, independence, not checking each other's everymove...Been there done that when I was married and don't want to do it anymore" He immediately said, "I was hoping for something more serious" (he could have fooled me!)He seemed very skittish...
Didn't want to dwell on it or pressure him so I changed subject..and he said, "Why do you always change the subject
when talking about us?" I kinda denied it..

So he said his son has traveling basketball and he has custody every other week and sometimes more..well he's been very cool lately and not communicating as much...I don't think there is anyone else as we know a mutual person and they told me he has no one else...he told me on Christmas morning he was alone just him and his dog! So sweet!!!

I did send one text recently and told him a quick story, he answered right away, but I texted a few weeks later with a quick car question and no answer. Uh oh! My friend told me that he wants to talk, by what he said..and she said that men are simple twits and they usually say what they mean...true— She said he basically told you he wants something serious...

I want to call but when I read all of these posts they say not to call...but if you don't call how do you get anywhere...I have gf's who say they went after their guys because the guys were backwards and shy...and it worked.. it's so confusing!!

Posted by Renee1250


I got busy and didn't and he texted a few weeks later "What did you want to tell me?" I called him the next night and told him "What are you looking for?" Wasn't sure he knew what I meant, so I said, "You know just something casual...etc"

"Not a stranglehold, independence, not checking each other's everymove...Been there done that when I was married and don't want to do it anymore" He immediately said, "I was hoping for something more serious" (he could have fooled me!)He seemed very skittish...
Didn't want to dwell on it or pressure him so I changed subject..and he said, "Why do you always change the subject
when talking about us?" I kinda denied it..

So he said his son has traveling basketball and he has custody every other week and sometimes more..well he's been very cool lately and not communicating as much...

He doesn't want a cheater. That is what that meant. She checked his every move when he was married to not bump into him with the other guy. He was faithful and she was not; I have to assume his next partner did similar. He wants someone he can trust. If he managed to tell you he was hurt, then he is trying to communicate he does not want to experience that again. Ding ding ding—??

Also he has at least one child. A parent can not just drop everything and communicate. The fact that he placed time for you at first should have been your next sign.

It's simple: shit or get off the pot. He wants to have a relationship, but so far you are failing in aggression, attentiveness, and heart. Also it seemed like you wanted a casual partner, because he mentioned something serious and you changed the subject.

Oh wait some of you mis-understood...what was confusing was the call/not call thing, not my situation with him....women are not supposed to call to let them chase and miss you...I've read it on these boards and in books. You know remain aloof, mysterious...But yet we are also told to communicate in relationships and dating...sounds lke a paradox....

In the subject headline it says Aries man/Aries woman, I am an Aries too...our bd's are a week apart.. March 31 and April 7

No, the thing about checking every move...I said that...not him...I don't know if his ex did that or not....but that was coming from me...because in the past I have been married and in relationships that can get clingy...and that bores me...so I wanted to stress that that wasn't for me anymore...I was just trying to keep it light....I suggested casual because I knew he was busy with his son's activities and I respected that.

By the way....everyone seems to think differently about "casual" and what that means....

does it mean date others?
does it mean get together when you can?
does it mean going out once every 2 or 3 months?

I changed the subject because I didn't want to sound like I was pressuring him and over discussing....with men keep it simple and short...
but it sounded to me like maybe he wanted to talk more....

Oh and by the way...I never really believed all of this stuff....but I am blown away by how much I can relate to Aries traits and how much the male traits fit him....the one post that said aries male will wait until someone calls him....I do the same...the insecurity we have is deep....I feel it all the time...and the never staying mad thing...amazing...once the person explains comes to me...I"m over it...

What do you all think about this one? Since you all have great feedback!!
My best friend was seeing a guy and she felt like he was "cooling" a bit...she sent him a text that said this...

"I think we have chemistry"
"But I feel some distance on your part"
"If you don't think we are going to work, a text will be fine, since it can be hard to say" (they weren't serious yet)
"I'm a big girl now, I'll understand and I won't be hurt"

He would not reply to it...oh by the way he is Aries too...she is going crazy figuring out why she made his "out" easy for him but yet he would not do it...
Thoughts??

Oh good Lord...the attitudes on here sometimes.....geez...I thought Aries people were always considered nice!!
Not everyone "gets it" like others do....if we did there wouldn't a reason for us to post!!!!
I give up....thanks for the advice anyhow!!!!

Well after you finish reading and what not, just go with your Arian instincts.

You can't confuse or complicate a situation with an Aries. We don't think at all that way. Complication is fine if its part of the initial challenge, but constant mental stress when there is nothing to act on or same vibes, will just be not be worthwhile.

I have wanted to go after complicated people before, but it can become more of a war of the mind and seem like nothing I can act on, or nothing I can win for us both. If I want to be serious with you, its got to be clear, purposeful or at least invigorating, and if I ever had a child, they would be so important to me that I couldn't imagine being in something of a mind war with a love interest while I am pouring all my love and passion into my child at the same time. It would be too cut and dry where I would get more passion/action if that person didn't share my passion for wanting to take care of my kid. And having been in very serious relationships, I have to say when I want to be serious I don't want to be half-hearted or luke-warm with someone else.