Aries Man Confusion

I have been seeing an Aries man from my past (we dated in HS 25 yrs ago) We started off as Fbuddies then we started to get slightly serious (we wanted me to be exclusive with him and said he was with me). He went from contacting every other day or so to contacting me everyday, interested in my life and children. He was very affectionate and would call me sweetheart and sounded like making plans for a long term thing with us. Recently he started to get distant, only contacting me every other day and telling me things like "hang in there, I like you alot", to "ive been burnt and hurt too much in the past, its real deep, I want "it" with you, but Im afraid". I have expressed my feeling for him as he required total honesty from the start. What the hell is happening?

hi aschreck; welcome to the boards... unfortunately i can't give you much advice; i too am in a quasi-relationship/whatever-it-is with an aries and they are totally confusing...i guess all i can offer is that and also this - an aries will always say and do exactly what they mean to say and do....at least that is what i've found. i would take him at his word...he may want it with you but is scared. might be best for you to find a way to move on and focus on something else (and unless you two are really and truly committed to each other, someone else) until either you or he decides to get it together. perhaps let him think about it...don't ignore him but leave him alone for a while...maybe he just needs a bit of time. good luck!

Thank you for your response. I am giving him his space, as I was recommended to do. This really sucks because I really care for this man alot. I am keeping my self busy...but as far as moving on to someone else, I feel like I would be cheating on him...weird huh? I keep looking for signs around me to keep "hanging in there" as he so respectfully asked me to. But I am just confused. He seems to be a very honest person, and as said in the past three weeks that he does not want to hurt my feelings or me (this was the same sentence that contained "I like you alot, hang in there". Is this the way most men act, is it the way most aries men act, or is it just me (im a gemini)

well, if you feel like you would be cheating on him then don't move on to someone else....arians are very loyal, and it would be detrimental to keep his trust. you know your relationship best. have you tried telling him - look, i know you've been hurt, but you haven't been hurt by me....we both like each other, we both want to be with each other, but if something is holding you back then you should deal with it....meanwhile, nothing is holding me back but i can't just sit here and wait, so while you figure that out, i'll do my thing.... i don't know. hopefully an aries will help you soon. i know this sort of thing is so frustrating and draining, and you just wish you could have it all back the way it was when he was pursuing you....so let him pursue you. sigh. chin up! 🙂

Thank you for your input. I am trying to look at this from outside the box. I am not looking for any quick answers..im just trying to get a better understanding from people that are not close to me...who are telling me different things that contradict each other. Some say wait it out...others say run like hell. Something inside tells me he is thinking things through, but then there is that irrational side that says hes lying, playing me, is seeing someone else and just doesnt have the heart to let me down...i need a drink lol

...and would anyone out there be able to hypothesis whether or not he and I even have a shot once we get past this 180 he pulled on me? I really do not know all my chart information, nor do I know his, but I am Gemini (6/16/67) and he is obviously Aries (3/24/66)...oh and one more thing...I have decided that this has made me completely certifiable...lol

I know that he is twice divorced (though I have never asked the circumstances behind each) however, he has custody of both of this boys from each marriage. He raised the 18 year old by himself since the boy was 2 mnths old (guess the mom up an left cuz the boy was born premature and had just a few disabilities (not bad ones), and he just obtained sole custody of his 13 yr old from the second wife (i do not know the complete past on that one except she was into drugs I think). He says that he has become very quiet over the years due to the hurt, and he works all the time. I have told him it is ok to be afraid, it doesnt make him any less in my eyes, and I know that he is very insecure with himself and lacks alot of selfconfidence. He is a great father and very protective of them. Another thing he said was that he would never put his kids through that again...so sad for him to think I could ever do that to him. Anyway...anyone with any suggestions?

Will that seem like I am chasing him or being to over-personal? I dont want to come off like Im some sort of needy person, although Im starting to feel that way. I also want to give him the time that he seems to need. I have not heard from him for about three days, which is a 180 from the way it was about two months ago. I kinda put a hit on when it started actually. He text me one night about a week before Christmas, and it was late. I didnt get the text til the next morning, but I didnt text him back because it was Sunday, and I know that he spends time with his boys and family on Sundays, so I have never bothered him on those days. He text me that night and I was surprised at the tone and the question..."Hey..are you done with me? I text you last night and I didnt hear back from you...are you ok?" I text him back and apologized and explained what happened. It has been since then that I have noticed a change...but he still made the "i like you alot, hang in there" comment. Does that help any suggestions?

With regard to the last comment...I do care for this man very much...much more than I want or could ever believe I could again. I to came from a very horrible marriage of 16 years (both physical and mental abuse), I lived in the 7th ring of hell for that long. I never knew what it was like to have someone hold me close to him and stroke my hair, and make sure I was warm at night (..tears..) until coming back into contact with this man that I know so long ago. My children said they saw a change in me almost immediately, I was happy again and looked forward to a future with someone who might actually care for me. Now it seems over...and as much as I want to call him and make contact and let him know I understand, I cant help but want to give him what he seems to want most..distance from me. If that is the way it is mean to be..then I can accept that..I just am trying to understand what happened..if I should continue to fight, or if I have already lost..

hey, JMB3.1 - you got an upgrade! 🙂 ....and very true with regards to aries and the truth. they'd rather you be blunt than beat around the bush, that's for sure.

i knew ariessun and love365 would offer great advice. if they think writing would help, do it....and then let it go...give him his space. he will know how you feel and where you stand and there will be nothing you can do after that point as he will do/say whatever he's meant to do/say. it sounds like he is a sensitive man and that he cares about you. take that as your comfort while you wait it out after writing him. an aries might disagree with me, but i would leave him alone after that and wait for him to respond to you.

I am glad that I found this site. It is a comfort knowing that I can spill my guts to compasionate people. Thank you for all the responses and suggestions. I am still a little skeptical about writing him...i dont want to seem as to be chasing him. I did, however, let him know during our texts last week that I do know where I stand with him, and that there is nothing to apologize for when he asked for my forgivness for standing me up for dinner a couple weeks ago.(he said that he is working alot and was very tired). I told him that I know what it is to be hurt (he knows all about the ex because HE asked and looked him up on public records) I told him that if I kept letting my past relationship dictate my future, it would be like giving my ex a free cheap shot at me, and I deserve better than that. I told him that I believe that he has a beautiful heart and loving soul, he just needs to believe that he deserves happiness again. He said that it was real deep (whatever that means)and that he wants "it" with me, but is afraid. I never knew what the definition of "being in love" really meant, and Im 42 yrs old, but it is amazing the feelings I have for him, and the hurt my heart is feeling right now with this distance. Thanks to all again for your input, and know that you all made this confusing experience just a little more bearable...

I so appreciate everyone's advice on this matter. All of you have presented very valid points. I know that I deserve more..and I am desparately trying to wait patiently for that "more". I dont want to take away from his legitimate fears, especially since I dont know the circumstances of his pain...I certainly would not want anyone to judge me on my past or what fears my past may have scarred me with. I broke down and contacted him last night. Basically, I am too much of a coward to call, so I text him the following: "i was thinking about you and I am sorry if i am bothering you, or should I be taking a hint". His response: "Not at all. I thought I was getting a hint. How have you been? How was ur day?". My response: "I thought maybe I had been replaced or you just didnt want to tell me it was over..sorry for the sounds of insecurity. But if you would be happy with someone else, I would understand, I just want you to be happy, no regrets". His response: "How could I replace you..just been busy with work. Do you want to be replaced? Dont know if I read your text right". My reponse: "No you did not read it right...I want the best for you..for you to be happy...I would be sad if I were replaced, but for your happiness I would understand..but i dont want to be". His response: "Sorry I didnt read it right..ur not replaced. Dont work that way. Glad your ok." We both said goodnight, though his ended with "Goodnite young lady". I know I am rambling, Im sure, I guess Im looking for a little light at the end of the tunnel. I was married to a Pisces for 16 years, and he did not exhibit the gentle nature that is said to be of a Pisces...he was definitely a wolf in sheeps clothing..or pitbull..when all you see are blood and flesh in the end, it really doesnt matter. The point is...people gave up on me ever trusting again after that..it took a while..but I did. I dont want to give up on him..I still live in my glass house sometimes too. Does any of this make sense to anyone?

This has been by far the best forum I have ever been in. The insights, responses, and over-all compassion and straight forward comments have been not only enlightening, but very helpful to me...and I am sure to everyone else who has visited and/or participated in these and other discussions. The fact that each person read and based their responses on understanding and actually empathizing each question or problem was amazing. Thank you to all for helping a stranger through this difficult adjustment. I still welcome any and all opinions and value each one. With each response comes a whole new idea of advancement. I will keep all posted on the saga of As The Aries Turns...lol Thank you again and keep them coming. I too will participate in other forums to try to give back was has been given me. Good Karma you know lol

By the way...ariessun...you caught two very important aspects of this "relationship"..which is use that term lightly..and those are that he and I are in our forties (he is 43 and I am 42), and we both have children that have witnessed and been through hell with us regarding our past failed relationships. I would never give any man a second thought who didnt put his children first when analyzing any potential relationship. I welcome any further insight or advice from all. Thank you again.

I am a gemini too and once upon a time i met an Aries man. He only wanted to get together whenever it was convinient for him and his schedule. When we were together he expressed how much he enjoyed being with me. In the end i realized i had fallen for him and he was just taking advantage of the fact that i was available. He wouldn't commit to exclusivity. So i stopped calling or texting him and whenever he tried to reach me i told him i was busy. I also found out he was seeing at least one other woman at the time and he lied about it. I got over it but it wasn't easy. After that i met another aries who wasn't ready to commit. Now i'm with an Aries who commited to an exclusive relationship without me suggesting it. When an Aries man makes an effort to be with you then you know he is into you. I would suggest you distnace yourself emotionally from the situation. If he comes around eventually good for you. If he doesn't it's his loss.