valkyriea
@valkyriea
15 Years
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Finding the right balance with an Aries??
bluemoon, I do believe I'm at fault as well...which is why I've never completely pinned the blame on him, and why I'm accepting him back again. I really want to fix this but he's making it very difficult for me. When we're together physically, everything's pretty smooth. But when we're apart, we both behave like stubborn idiots, him especially. I'm really at a loss as to whether I should just submit totally to him and be a doormat (gain his forgiveness but lose his respect), or hold my ground and refuse to back down...I just can't seem to find a middle ground. Right now he's still ignoring me even after a few (short) texts and a couple missed calls from me . And its just been the fourth day since we've been back together. I really don't know if it's because he's angry that I didn't want to meet him (which I can accept), or if he just can't be bothered with me, knowing that I'll still be there in the end (which I can't).
I just don't know which is the real him any longer...did I push him over his limits so that he no longer loves me as much as before, or is this the person that he really is? If he doesn't love me any longer, then why did he come back on his own...?
I just don't know which is the real him any longer...did I push him over his limits so that he no longer loves me as much as before, or is this the person that he really is? If he doesn't love me any longer, then why did he come back on his own...?
They do things/plan on the fly. Just how they are.
Yep, can act like big babies if they don't get what they want.
'he refuses to budge from his viewpoint, that he is never in the wrong.'
yep, they do that, and you have to accept that way aboutthem.
'He lacks insight and is unwilling to change.'
mine changed but it came with age. Been together 9 years. There's give and take, we argue little and if we do we never go to bed mad, and life with him is great. But for the first 4 years it was rough. We both had baggage, and we had to learn how to relate to one another. He's aries and I'm cap/aqua cusp..they say these 2 signs don't work, but it can and we've proved it.
Yep, can act like big babies if they don't get what they want.
'he refuses to budge from his viewpoint, that he is never in the wrong.'
yep, they do that, and you have to accept that way aboutthem.
'He lacks insight and is unwilling to change.'
mine changed but it came with age. Been together 9 years. There's give and take, we argue little and if we do we never go to bed mad, and life with him is great. But for the first 4 years it was rough. We both had baggage, and we had to learn how to relate to one another. He's aries and I'm cap/aqua cusp..they say these 2 signs don't work, but it can and we've proved it.
I went through a very similar situation and though I do not fancy Scorpios I figured I might as well give some insight to you. Take time away from the relationship. Tell him you need to think some things over and you need space. And that you feel like all the fighting is really cramping your style . I was with an Aries guy and he started behaving EXACTLY like yours. He is Aries Sun/Cap Moon. I am a Sag Sun/Gem Moon. As odd as that sounds we were perfect in regards to synastry. And I thought we were perfect for each other. Then that crap behavior started. He said he started treating me like that because he really wanted me to walk away so he could figure out how much I really meant to him. He said he wouldn't be able to figure it out until he realised he pushed me away. Girl, start WALKING. Aries will test limits until YOU say goodbye. But they will come back after you because you can never call the relationship with an Aries off, only they can. They are the ones that make the decision for when you guys start and when you guys end. I didn't realise that was what he wanted and I stayed around trying to make up to him and giving him loads of emotion/attention because I thought I did something wrong. Heck, if I would have known he wanted me to walk away to really see my worth I would have had no problem with that. I don't have time for that immature crap. We broke up because he felt like I loved him too much and he needed someone who cared less. Lets just say he wanted to be friends but I hung up on him and now he is always calling, texting, and emailing. (we live far away from each other but we would always arrange frequent trips to see each other) I won't go back to him because again. I don't have time for that crap. I don't have time to invest into someone who thinks its ok to behave like that. Maybe if I would have walked away a lot sooner it would have saved the relationship. I don't know and I don't care. But trust me when I tell you. Trying to give into him all he wants and making him everything. He is testing your limits and your pushing him away at the same time without even realising it. WALK WALK WALK.
HeavenlyHera: thanks for sharing your experience. Very empowering, to be honest. It was a good read. Self-respect, self-love. The two things that I probably need more of. I DID walk, twice in fact. And both times, he asked me back. I caved in both times...something I've never done with any other men before. It might be because of love for him, or sheer stubbornness and the belief that I can still fix this. I think though, by walking, you mean walk away. For good 😉
Bluemoon: thank you for your help and your views so far. I've witnessed firsthand, the love and passion of an Aries woman - a friend of mine, who's in a LDR with a Leo. Very powerful, very raw. But for the males...I'm not too sure about that. And I really do believe that Aries are just as strong as Scorpio. I love him because as an Aries, he's strong enough to stand up to me because I can get very stubborn and willful at times. And yes admittedly, the sex between Aries and Scorpio is very good!
I have preference over standing my ground as well, at least after the first few texts that I'd sent him. Which means no more contacting him until he does it first. Just hope that I won't cave in AGAIN. Just awhile ago I was wondering if I should try to make him feel 'important', but after reading what you and HeavenlyHera have said, it's occurred to me that that is just another attempt at power play and gaining further control over me. It just seems puzzling though...if we hand all control over then, then they leave, because we're no longer a challenge. But if we refuse to hand control over to them, then we have to leave them. Then wouldn't Aries end up with nobody eventually...? Just a thought, lol...
Bluemoon: thank you for your help and your views so far. I've witnessed firsthand, the love and passion of an Aries woman - a friend of mine, who's in a LDR with a Leo. Very powerful, very raw. But for the males...I'm not too sure about that. And I really do believe that Aries are just as strong as Scorpio. I love him because as an Aries, he's strong enough to stand up to me because I can get very stubborn and willful at times. And yes admittedly, the sex between Aries and Scorpio is very good!
I have preference over standing my ground as well, at least after the first few texts that I'd sent him. Which means no more contacting him until he does it first. Just hope that I won't cave in AGAIN. Just awhile ago I was wondering if I should try to make him feel 'important', but after reading what you and HeavenlyHera have said, it's occurred to me that that is just another attempt at power play and gaining further control over me. It just seems puzzling though...if we hand all control over then, then they leave, because we're no longer a challenge. But if we refuse to hand control over to them, then we have to leave them. Then wouldn't Aries end up with nobody eventually...? Just a thought, lol...
Can I just give it to you straight? Been there, done that, have pictures of the bruises to prove it.
I'm a Scorpio female, and was with an Aries male for the better part of 5 years. I loved him to the ends of the earth and beyond, but please note the usage of past tense when referring to the status of our relationship.
We had an amazing start. Oddly enough, I met him online and we lived 4000 miles apart, but we did our best to make it work. I'd fly out and spend a month at a time with him, and we had the ability to talk to each other on the phone for stretches of 7+ hours without becoming bored. Every moment we weren't on the phone, we were in touch some other way, be it e-mails or IMing. Talking to him was easier than with anyone else I'd ever met. He understood me in ways that I didn't even understand myself. He called me on my bullshit on a regular basis, and I appreciated that he didn't let me sway him when it counted. He was my perfect intellectual match, and said all of the romantic, sweet things I longed to hear, but in ways that were so untraditional and hysterical that I fell deeply, all-consumingly in love with him. Never in my life had I met someone whose personality seemed to compliment mine the way his did, but we fought. Boy, did we fight, but they started out innocently enough, and were infrequent enough that I overlooked them during the whole falling-in-love process.
Things changed, though. Over the course of our time together, he was known for his explosive, hyper-reactive temper and me for my reactions to that temper. He would say things, scream, and hurl cutting words at me over the smallest, most minuscule, imagined slights, only to take them back an hour later and act as though nothing was ever wrong. I would take in all of those words and every time they were said, they'd do more and more damage, and erode more and more of the love and trust I had for him. Time and again, I would break up with him. Time and again, he would beg, plead and cry his way back into my life, convincing me that he was truly sorry, and acknowledging his mistakes.
continued...
I'm a Scorpio female, and was with an Aries male for the better part of 5 years. I loved him to the ends of the earth and beyond, but please note the usage of past tense when referring to the status of our relationship.
We had an amazing start. Oddly enough, I met him online and we lived 4000 miles apart, but we did our best to make it work. I'd fly out and spend a month at a time with him, and we had the ability to talk to each other on the phone for stretches of 7+ hours without becoming bored. Every moment we weren't on the phone, we were in touch some other way, be it e-mails or IMing. Talking to him was easier than with anyone else I'd ever met. He understood me in ways that I didn't even understand myself. He called me on my bullshit on a regular basis, and I appreciated that he didn't let me sway him when it counted. He was my perfect intellectual match, and said all of the romantic, sweet things I longed to hear, but in ways that were so untraditional and hysterical that I fell deeply, all-consumingly in love with him. Never in my life had I met someone whose personality seemed to compliment mine the way his did, but we fought. Boy, did we fight, but they started out innocently enough, and were infrequent enough that I overlooked them during the whole falling-in-love process.
Things changed, though. Over the course of our time together, he was known for his explosive, hyper-reactive temper and me for my reactions to that temper. He would say things, scream, and hurl cutting words at me over the smallest, most minuscule, imagined slights, only to take them back an hour later and act as though nothing was ever wrong. I would take in all of those words and every time they were said, they'd do more and more damage, and erode more and more of the love and trust I had for him. Time and again, I would break up with him. Time and again, he would beg, plead and cry his way back into my life, convincing me that he was truly sorry, and acknowledging his mistakes.
continued...
I've always been a really independent person, and he managed to completely steal away that part of my personality (though I take responsibility for staying and therefore allowing it to happen) with his control issues. I've never endured such intense, accusatory questioning like I did with the Aries - he took everything I said and made it sound as though I was constantly lying. And at the same time, he was the master of twisting words and playing with semantics to always make himself out to be truthful. Our fights were truly a sight to behold. I had never in my life screamed at another person before I met him, and have not screamed at another person since leaving him. He brought out sides of my temper that I never knew existed.
We must have broken up at least 30 times, but in the end, all of that passion and both of our tempers got the best of us. There was no trust left. Communication was impossible without 15 fights to discuss what should have taken 5 minutes to hash out during a heart-to-heart. It came to a head during one of my month-long visits to see him, when, during the biggest fight we'd ever had, he hit me. As soon as that happened, I began packing my bags, tears streaming down my face at what our relationship had deteriorated into, and he kneed me to the ground and threw things at me. He also threw me out into the street and refused to drive me to the airport, however, I caught a cab, flew 4000 miles home, and never saw him again.
If you choose to stay with your Aries, and you most likely will because the draw of you to him, and he to you will be too strong for either of you to resist until something breaks you both, just keep in mind that it will never, ever, EVER be easy between you two. You'll probably have more horrible times than good ones, the longer you're together. You'll let the amazing beginning of the two of you cloud your judgment and he'll be the hardest thing you've ever had to let go of in your entire life, if and when you get to that point.
You've been warned. 😛
We must have broken up at least 30 times, but in the end, all of that passion and both of our tempers got the best of us. There was no trust left. Communication was impossible without 15 fights to discuss what should have taken 5 minutes to hash out during a heart-to-heart. It came to a head during one of my month-long visits to see him, when, during the biggest fight we'd ever had, he hit me. As soon as that happened, I began packing my bags, tears streaming down my face at what our relationship had deteriorated into, and he kneed me to the ground and threw things at me. He also threw me out into the street and refused to drive me to the airport, however, I caught a cab, flew 4000 miles home, and never saw him again.
If you choose to stay with your Aries, and you most likely will because the draw of you to him, and he to you will be too strong for either of you to resist until something breaks you both, just keep in mind that it will never, ever, EVER be easy between you two. You'll probably have more horrible times than good ones, the longer you're together. You'll let the amazing beginning of the two of you cloud your judgment and he'll be the hardest thing you've ever had to let go of in your entire life, if and when you get to that point.
You've been warned. 😛
DetailsPlease: my definition of a doormat is someone who's a pushover, who has no complaints and doesn't confront, and just does whatever her partner asks of her. Is there a way to being submissive without being a doormat...?
bluemoon: Thank you, really, for your well meaning! I really appreciate that 🙂 But I don't think I'm able to give up just yet... Which is why I'm here to look for solutions on how to fix this...just don't want to give up at this point. Not especially after just four days of patching back with him. I thought I was already numb emotionally, too tired to care, but I was wrong...I cried myself to sleep this morning after getting off the forum, something I haven't done in awhile after our breakup. I was coping fine the previous time he left, but now that he's back again, I just seem to have fallen right back into the hole that I'd barely crawled out from =/ I know this won't endure but is there really no other way to get it back on tracks? Right now though, Aries hasn't replied me since last night...and if he still doesn't reply, I guess really there's nothing else I can do but leave, and move on. The urge to ask for forgiveness is really, very strong though...but I'm sure that your stand remains, for me to NOT back down. Because the Aries girlfriend that I mentioned before, told me the exact same thing as well 🙂
bluemoon: Thank you, really, for your well meaning! I really appreciate that 🙂 But I don't think I'm able to give up just yet... Which is why I'm here to look for solutions on how to fix this...just don't want to give up at this point. Not especially after just four days of patching back with him. I thought I was already numb emotionally, too tired to care, but I was wrong...I cried myself to sleep this morning after getting off the forum, something I haven't done in awhile after our breakup. I was coping fine the previous time he left, but now that he's back again, I just seem to have fallen right back into the hole that I'd barely crawled out from =/ I know this won't endure but is there really no other way to get it back on tracks? Right now though, Aries hasn't replied me since last night...and if he still doesn't reply, I guess really there's nothing else I can do but leave, and move on. The urge to ask for forgiveness is really, very strong though...but I'm sure that your stand remains, for me to NOT back down. Because the Aries girlfriend that I mentioned before, told me the exact same thing as well 🙂
spaggiescorp: I'm really glad that as a fellow Scorpion, you've replied to my post. I've got a few questions for you...I posted in the Scorpio forums before, but only KingScorpion, I think, replied. Lol. I really understand the love that you felt for him because I too, would do just about anything for my Aries. How silly some of us women get when we fall in love...In any case, I really hope that you've gotten over the hurt, because I've been through all that as well, because no woman should have had to put up with all that indignity that you (and I) have suffered at the hands of another man. It's very sad...but I really wonder, are Aries men really such douchebags?? Unless they were jerks to begin with and it's not just a horoscope thing, I just can't bring myself to believe that. And so I keep wondering if it's the Scorpio in us, that brings out the worst in them...and if it really is, is it possible to change that? I just don't get how one man can have such radically different personalities. Which is really him, the knight in shining armour at the start of the r/s, or the monster that he turned into at the end?
Often I've wondered if we as Scorpios are drawn to all that intensity and pain...toxic relationships like these that tear our hearts apart yet make us feel alive. Or that we're simply too stubborn to accept that things just aren't working out. I know I am...
Just one last question for you, as a Scorpio like me, which would you rather live - a life that's simple and peaceful but numbing and emotionless, or one that's filled with passion and excitement, but also pain and anguish? I chose Aries over a very dependable and committed Virgo because really, it just made me feel so much more alive being with the Aries...is that really a wrong choice after all?
Often I've wondered if we as Scorpios are drawn to all that intensity and pain...toxic relationships like these that tear our hearts apart yet make us feel alive. Or that we're simply too stubborn to accept that things just aren't working out. I know I am...
Just one last question for you, as a Scorpio like me, which would you rather live - a life that's simple and peaceful but numbing and emotionless, or one that's filled with passion and excitement, but also pain and anguish? I chose Aries over a very dependable and committed Virgo because really, it just made me feel so much more alive being with the Aries...is that really a wrong choice after all?
I'm a little pressed for time at the moment, so I'll try and answer as much as I can.
I do happen to think that someScorpios bring out the worst in someAries, and that it probably happens more often than not. I'm not sure if it's a birthday thing, or a personality thing, but in my situation, it was definitely the case. When he wasn't around me, he was much less intense - still pretty much an asshole for all intents and purposes, but more in a funny way than in a mean-spirited way. We make them want to compete. Everything we do challenges them, and everything they do challenges us, and the resulting push-pull of the power in the relationship is exhausting and frustrating and disheartening. We had so many senseless, knock down, drag out fights over who was right about things like how you pronounce "Nutella" (yes, I'm serious), and every single one of them left me completely emotionally and physically drained. It wasn't even my need to be right that wore away at me. It was more that giving in to something I knew was wrong (and he would often argue things, even if he knew them to be wrong in his heart) felt like I was copping out. I could have easily just said, "Fine, you're right. It's pronounced nu-tey-uh," just to let him win because I knew that all he wanted was to be right and for me to concede, but I KNEW he wasn't right, and HE knew he wasn't right too.
Those are the sorts of fights that also helped to erode our trust. Anybody that's willing to fight with you, and wear you down, and berate your intelligence just to experience the high of winning, and to concede after the fact after the damage has been done is an asshole, plain and simple. I often felt like I was in debate club or something, arguing against someone who'd been given a nonsensical topic that they neither believed in nor cared about to fight me to the death over.
continued
I do happen to think that someScorpios bring out the worst in someAries, and that it probably happens more often than not. I'm not sure if it's a birthday thing, or a personality thing, but in my situation, it was definitely the case. When he wasn't around me, he was much less intense - still pretty much an asshole for all intents and purposes, but more in a funny way than in a mean-spirited way. We make them want to compete. Everything we do challenges them, and everything they do challenges us, and the resulting push-pull of the power in the relationship is exhausting and frustrating and disheartening. We had so many senseless, knock down, drag out fights over who was right about things like how you pronounce "Nutella" (yes, I'm serious), and every single one of them left me completely emotionally and physically drained. It wasn't even my need to be right that wore away at me. It was more that giving in to something I knew was wrong (and he would often argue things, even if he knew them to be wrong in his heart) felt like I was copping out. I could have easily just said, "Fine, you're right. It's pronounced nu-tey-uh," just to let him win because I knew that all he wanted was to be right and for me to concede, but I KNEW he wasn't right, and HE knew he wasn't right too.
Those are the sorts of fights that also helped to erode our trust. Anybody that's willing to fight with you, and wear you down, and berate your intelligence just to experience the high of winning, and to concede after the fact after the damage has been done is an asshole, plain and simple. I often felt like I was in debate club or something, arguing against someone who'd been given a nonsensical topic that they neither believed in nor cared about to fight me to the death over.
continued
In the beginning, I would sit and cry out of pure frustration with not being able to make him "get it". By the end, I was so used to it happening that I had numbed everything out to the point of serious depression, only I didn't KNOW how depressed I was. I walked on eggshells with him, doing everything I could to avoid the inevitable blowups because they made me feel homicidal. And still, every time I broke it off, he came back, and I let him because I was so blinded by the underlying love I felt for him. I kept telling myself that until I had done everything in my physical and emotional power, I would keep trying to make things right and make things work because I knew the man he could be, and the man he was when he wasn't pissed off about something insignificant or pissing me off about something insignificant. I'm that way with all of my relationships though. I will fight for them, tooth and nail, until there is nothing else I can possibly do to save them, even if they're not worth saving because I never want to leave feeling as though I haven't given my all to protect love.
I think they are both the knight in shining armor AND the monster at the end. Their personalities are extreme, and because ours are too, it's difficult to make them mesh in a peaceful way. He had never hit a woman before me, and I truly believe that he will never hit another one again for as long as he lives. He was never a particularly physically violent person, and has always chosen to fight with words instead, and underneath it all, he's a decent guy. I still think he's an asshole, but I know that his heart is good.
Funny that you should ask about the peaceful life vs. the passionate one. That's something HE often asked me. He told me that he knew life with me would be hard, but that if we loved each other to death even 40% of the time, and hated each other the other 60% , he'd be perfectly happy to live that way - to live for the good times because they were SO good. For a while, I felt that way too. It took me getting out to realize that although I love the passion, having someone nurture me emotionally is more what I need in the long term. I wouldn't have survived 5 more years with Aries.
I think they are both the knight in shining armor AND the monster at the end. Their personalities are extreme, and because ours are too, it's difficult to make them mesh in a peaceful way. He had never hit a woman before me, and I truly believe that he will never hit another one again for as long as he lives. He was never a particularly physically violent person, and has always chosen to fight with words instead, and underneath it all, he's a decent guy. I still think he's an asshole, but I know that his heart is good.
Funny that you should ask about the peaceful life vs. the passionate one. That's something HE often asked me. He told me that he knew life with me would be hard, but that if we loved each other to death even 40% of the time, and hated each other the other 60% , he'd be perfectly happy to live that way - to live for the good times because they were SO good. For a while, I felt that way too. It took me getting out to realize that although I love the passion, having someone nurture me emotionally is more what I need in the long term. I wouldn't have survived 5 more years with Aries.
We love toxic, drama-filled, emotional relationships, yes. They do make us feel alive, and to an extent, desired and loved. Aries was the master of making me feel that sweeping, butterflies-in-the-stomach, can't-breathe-when-I-look-at-you thing EVERY TIME after a fight. If we were together, he would stare into my eyes, say nothing, and I would melt, or if we were on the phone, he would say exactly the right thing to make my eyes well up with tears, and my stomach fill with happy knots. Ultimately, as good as THAT feels, all that drama isn't healthy for us, or ANYONE. Underneath it all, we're too sensitive and easily wounded, and those scars stay. If you catch yourself slipping into a place where you no longer recognize your soul, or you feel as though you no longer even have one, you've gone too far.
All this said, had someone told me this 5 years ago, and had any of it resonated, I probably still wouldn't have had the good sense to get out. I would have done what I did, ridden it out, suffered, tormented myself, and come out of it the same way. Sometimes I think Scorpios are meant to experience some of the most horrendous things that life has to offer, almost to the point of breaking us forever, just so that we can distinguish that from that which is truly good.
All this said, had someone told me this 5 years ago, and had any of it resonated, I probably still wouldn't have had the good sense to get out. I would have done what I did, ridden it out, suffered, tormented myself, and come out of it the same way. Sometimes I think Scorpios are meant to experience some of the most horrendous things that life has to offer, almost to the point of breaking us forever, just so that we can distinguish that from that which is truly good.
Bluemoon: 😢 Contradicting, more like. I'm 27, to curb your curiosity =)
spaggiescorp: Thank you for answering my questions and taking the time to share! Just glad to know that I'm not alone on all this. Took me quite awhile to read through and digest all that, and I really learned quite a bit from your experiences. I'm just like you, in that I'm not going to give up just yet, for as long as the love that I have for him is still around. Thing is, I was surfing the web awhile back and I came across a topic on 'Toxic Relationships'. And it occurred to me that I was (and still am) quite possibly in one. Yet I don't quite want to sweep his behaviour and our relationship into a 'category' of relationship types...Well just gonna sit back and watch how things develop for now, before deciding on what actions to take. Just fyi, my relationship is barely 8 months old.
"They do make us feel alive, and to an extent, desired and loved. Aries was the master of making me feel that sweeping, butterflies-in-the-stomach, can't-breathe-when-I-look-at-you thing EVERY TIME after a fight."
The very thing that has me hooked. The horrible realization that I had, is that I just seem to keep coming back for more, just to savour that bit of aliveness that comes just after a fight.
"Sometimes I think Scorpios are meant to experience some of the most horrendous things that life has to offer, almost to the point of breaking us forever, just so that we can distinguish that from that which is truly good."
A very unfortunate truth 😢 I'll just go diving recklessly into the dark, knowing very well what might be in store for me, and just put myself out there to get hurt. Sadistic much?
DetailsPlease: LOL. Sorry that you've just been exposed to scorpio's brand of melodrama 😛 But Spaggiescorp was just being kind enough to answer my questions, so...you lighten up too, yea 🙂 Funny you should mention this. Bf has a close buddy who's a Sag as well. And their relationship works exactly like what you've described. Quite frankly though, I wouldn't give a damn if you threw a bitch fit as well. Lol.
spaggiescorp: Thank you for answering my questions and taking the time to share! Just glad to know that I'm not alone on all this. Took me quite awhile to read through and digest all that, and I really learned quite a bit from your experiences. I'm just like you, in that I'm not going to give up just yet, for as long as the love that I have for him is still around. Thing is, I was surfing the web awhile back and I came across a topic on 'Toxic Relationships'. And it occurred to me that I was (and still am) quite possibly in one. Yet I don't quite want to sweep his behaviour and our relationship into a 'category' of relationship types...Well just gonna sit back and watch how things develop for now, before deciding on what actions to take. Just fyi, my relationship is barely 8 months old.
"They do make us feel alive, and to an extent, desired and loved. Aries was the master of making me feel that sweeping, butterflies-in-the-stomach, can't-breathe-when-I-look-at-you thing EVERY TIME after a fight."
The very thing that has me hooked. The horrible realization that I had, is that I just seem to keep coming back for more, just to savour that bit of aliveness that comes just after a fight.
"Sometimes I think Scorpios are meant to experience some of the most horrendous things that life has to offer, almost to the point of breaking us forever, just so that we can distinguish that from that which is truly good."
A very unfortunate truth 😢 I'll just go diving recklessly into the dark, knowing very well what might be in store for me, and just put myself out there to get hurt. Sadistic much?
DetailsPlease: LOL. Sorry that you've just been exposed to scorpio's brand of melodrama 😛 But Spaggiescorp was just being kind enough to answer my questions, so...you lighten up too, yea 🙂 Funny you should mention this. Bf has a close buddy who's a Sag as well. And their relationship works exactly like what you've described. Quite frankly though, I wouldn't give a damn if you threw a bitch fit as well. Lol.
DetailsPlease you're right though. I should lighten up. Simple but very enlightening. Thanks!
bluemoon: My ram is hardly naive 😢 He sees right through me like an open book, lol. I think manipulation and power play, seems to be what you're getting at? Guilty as charged, the both of us in fact. But I'm doing my best to cut it down to at least a subconscious level. I think at times I'm more of a Pisces than a Scorpio though, I'm just too soft and I try to believe the best in him 😢 Not good.
He finally replied me this afternoon, and told me that he was mad that I went out with my friends, but the thing is, he did not even mention anything about seeing me that night. He gave me the cold shoulders for the next few hours until I initiated contact at last. Said he didn't want to meet me tonight, because if I could go out with my friends, so could he. The irony is that I couldn't have stopped him from going out with HIS friends even if I wanted to.
I'd just like to ask you and the other Arians who're reading this...if he came back, does it mean that he still loves me, or is he just around for the convenience of having an available partner? And if they're plain tired or bored of a r/s, would Aries not hesitate to walk right out, or would they wait for their partner to initiate the breakup instead?
He finally replied me this afternoon, and told me that he was mad that I went out with my friends, but the thing is, he did not even mention anything about seeing me that night. He gave me the cold shoulders for the next few hours until I initiated contact at last. Said he didn't want to meet me tonight, because if I could go out with my friends, so could he. The irony is that I couldn't have stopped him from going out with HIS friends even if I wanted to.
I'd just like to ask you and the other Arians who're reading this...if he came back, does it mean that he still loves me, or is he just around for the convenience of having an available partner? And if they're plain tired or bored of a r/s, would Aries not hesitate to walk right out, or would they wait for their partner to initiate the breakup instead?
"I flit through potential mates like there is no tomorrow. I drop them when they play games, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, or the level of connection doesn't seem as deep and intense as I want."
Pardon me if I'm wrong, but could it be that age is actually playing a factor in this? Well, you're looking, but you just can't seem to find the one, even though there are tonnes of them out there. It's funny cos I've been through the same motion as you, but maybe for a different reason. Where I'm from, Singapore actually, housing prices and costs of living are pretty high and the earlier that one settles down, the better. Lol. However I do need that special connection with a partner as well, it has to be something fast and instant and something that just snaps into place. Just don't have the patience (or time). And small talk drives me nuts.
Pardon me if I'm wrong, but could it be that age is actually playing a factor in this? Well, you're looking, but you just can't seem to find the one, even though there are tonnes of them out there. It's funny cos I've been through the same motion as you, but maybe for a different reason. Where I'm from, Singapore actually, housing prices and costs of living are pretty high and the earlier that one settles down, the better. Lol. However I do need that special connection with a partner as well, it has to be something fast and instant and something that just snaps into place. Just don't have the patience (or time). And small talk drives me nuts.
DetailsPlease, actually I do suspect that I am. Yes. Relationship with my Aries for the past 8 months was really quite stressful and traumatic...Help? Lol...
Bluemoon: Haha, and now you've seen right through me too!
Well she wants to know how much you want her, and if you're ready to cross the lines to reach her. Her flirtation is sign enough (at least to her) that she's asking you to come get her. She wants to be chased and won over. As a Scorpio if I wasn't the slightest bit interested, I wouldn't even give that person the time of day. It would just be a turn-off to flirt with someone I don't like, and I wouldn't want to deal with the hassle of fending off an unwanted person...do you agree with this..?
DetailsPlease: hurt, and uncared for...I'm shouldn't be feeling this way, am I?
Well she wants to know how much you want her, and if you're ready to cross the lines to reach her. Her flirtation is sign enough (at least to her) that she's asking you to come get her. She wants to be chased and won over. As a Scorpio if I wasn't the slightest bit interested, I wouldn't even give that person the time of day. It would just be a turn-off to flirt with someone I don't like, and I wouldn't want to deal with the hassle of fending off an unwanted person...do you agree with this..?
DetailsPlease: hurt, and uncared for...I'm shouldn't be feeling this way, am I?
no actually let me rephrase this. I felt relieved that he was mad because I went out, and not because he didn't care enough to reply me from last night. And relieved that he was willing to at least communicate what he was unhappy about. The hurt and uncared for part is actually because of his hours of silence before and after I contacted him.
DetailsPlease: there are days when I would give ANYTHING to be an air/fire sign...lol. Bless your Arian spirit!
What really are your fights about? Because this is some immature, petty stuff. Scorp/Aries share mars but Aries mars is in the open & Scorp is hidden, hence our distrust of Scorpio's. We need direct communication, you shouldn't think he should know how you feel or what you're thinking, etc... He doesn't. So like a child, he hurts you back.
Saggiescorp posts are a classic example of a push-pull, HE'S wrong cuz he should know blah, blah, while she can't give an inch at the same time. If the thing you are fighting about is so stupid, then why all the fuss? Ever been with a Leo? Damn! I picked my fights when it was important and the others I let go with, "You're the King, honey, yeah baby, whatever...because WHO cares about those stupid things and I was happy overall. It will never be perfect between you & another EVER even if you are with the astrologically perfect man. You will have these stupid fights so how will you handle it? What is important to you? The overall relationship or being right?
Seems you are both stuck in power plays. Get out of it by not playing PERIOD. Address your issues directly and talk to him like an adult. Let him know you want this to work & being right all the time is not important but you need _____(fill in) from him. It's clear, calm & out in the open. Stop fighting and have a healthy discussion.
Saggiescorp posts are a classic example of a push-pull, HE'S wrong cuz he should know blah, blah, while she can't give an inch at the same time. If the thing you are fighting about is so stupid, then why all the fuss? Ever been with a Leo? Damn! I picked my fights when it was important and the others I let go with, "You're the King, honey, yeah baby, whatever...because WHO cares about those stupid things and I was happy overall. It will never be perfect between you & another EVER even if you are with the astrologically perfect man. You will have these stupid fights so how will you handle it? What is important to you? The overall relationship or being right?
Seems you are both stuck in power plays. Get out of it by not playing PERIOD. Address your issues directly and talk to him like an adult. Let him know you want this to work & being right all the time is not important but you need _____(fill in) from him. It's clear, calm & out in the open. Stop fighting and have a healthy discussion.
DetailsPlease: I think I need that boost of positivity a lot. It isn't all about petty stuff, it gets to me that he doesn't want to spend as much time with me or text me as much. But I'll try to lighten up, stop fretting over the little things and see how it goes. You've just given me this warm, fuzzy feeling. Thanks =D
Bluemoon: Even if you don't want to chase, you can both meet in the middle somehow. Initiate a date at the very least, she's already attracted to you but she might be worried about rejection. Plus if this has developed through a working r/s, she might be feeling guarded, so she needs something more concrete to reaffirm that the game is on. Ask her out on an official date just to make things more certain for her. Be keen, then pull away. If she likes you enough and is mentally and physically attracted as well, she'll be happy to take over from there, and push for more. I think Scorpios aren't that big on receiving subtle hints or obscurity. We want something that's more definite. Being creative seems to border on mind games to me, tbh. What do you have in mind =D
Mistery: It is childish, well, he is childish (he's 28, btw). He refuses to communicate like an adult. I'd gladly hand over the reins to him, if he was treating me right, and with respect. But he isn't. And that's what I'm bummed about, and that's what I'm seeking help for.
Bluemoon: Even if you don't want to chase, you can both meet in the middle somehow. Initiate a date at the very least, she's already attracted to you but she might be worried about rejection. Plus if this has developed through a working r/s, she might be feeling guarded, so she needs something more concrete to reaffirm that the game is on. Ask her out on an official date just to make things more certain for her. Be keen, then pull away. If she likes you enough and is mentally and physically attracted as well, she'll be happy to take over from there, and push for more. I think Scorpios aren't that big on receiving subtle hints or obscurity. We want something that's more definite. Being creative seems to border on mind games to me, tbh. What do you have in mind =D
Mistery: It is childish, well, he is childish (he's 28, btw). He refuses to communicate like an adult. I'd gladly hand over the reins to him, if he was treating me right, and with respect. But he isn't. And that's what I'm bummed about, and that's what I'm seeking help for.
Just wondering if his venus in aquarius has anything to do with his recent aloofness...hm..
http://www.selfhelpastrology.com/#/venus-in-aquarius/4514625345
http://www.selfhelpastrology.com/#/venus-in-aquarius/4514625345
Posted by bluemoon2
And well, I have Cap rising. I feel like I am getting younger as I get older.
We do.
We relax more when we get older.
We have a natural anti-aging process so we look younger as we age.
I love being a cap!
Posted by bluemoon2
I just don't know which is the real him any longer...did I push him over his limits so that he no longer loves me as much as before, or is this the person that he really is? If he doesn't love me any longer, then why did he come back on his own...?
Aries continue to love.. at least the Aries woman does. It's everlasting. Our love is linked with our passion and if you got our passion, you have our love... forever.
Spot on! If the passion dies, the love will to.
He likes to feel important.
he doesn't mind a fight/standing up for yourself, but they have big ego's, so don't bruise it, cause they can be sensitive.
We never broke up once. We were always able to work out our issues.
They like a chase..I never chased him..he just knew I was the 'one' I guess from the 1st day we met.
Bluemoon: OMG HAHAH! Awesomeness. She's even more into than I thought but then again the flirtation should already speak alot. Scorpios are all or nothing and if we want it bad enough we'll definitely push for it =D So how's it proceeding right now? Have you been on dates, or anything? I bet you must be feel pretty good right now 😛
Hm well thanks for asking. I didn't want to bring this to the board anymore but...update, I guess it's over (again). Reason, he's been standing me up the whole week saying he was busy and tired and wanted to go to bed early, although he only lives a 10 minute drive away from me. He was also being rude and hostile over texts, like every single thing I texted annoyed him to no end. I put up with it all week, but the fourth time he stood me up with that same reason, I just knew something was up. So I went over to his house at 3am this morning. He wasn't home. Waited till 5am and I finally saw him returning. Texted him and told him that I'm out of his life for good. He texted me back with some lame excuse but I guess I've had it...so, there you go.
Hm well thanks for asking. I didn't want to bring this to the board anymore but...update, I guess it's over (again). Reason, he's been standing me up the whole week saying he was busy and tired and wanted to go to bed early, although he only lives a 10 minute drive away from me. He was also being rude and hostile over texts, like every single thing I texted annoyed him to no end. I put up with it all week, but the fourth time he stood me up with that same reason, I just knew something was up. So I went over to his house at 3am this morning. He wasn't home. Waited till 5am and I finally saw him returning. Texted him and told him that I'm out of his life for good. He texted me back with some lame excuse but I guess I've had it...so, there you go.
LOL i just having the same situation like yours.. Aries man is confusing me and he would find a way to twist the situation like all the things is our false.. maybe Aries man should not having relathionship b/c he's to selfish and arogant.
He never knew that he is so lucky to have a strong ,so patience, so kind, good looking and charming gf b/c he is busy too looking to the grass on the other side of the fence.
He never knew that he is so lucky to have a strong ,so patience, so kind, good looking and charming gf b/c he is busy too looking to the grass on the other side of the fence.
"And I really do believe that Aries are just as strong as Scorpio." - OP
As strong? I have never seen a stronger and more powerful sign. Aries may be known as crybabies of the zodiac, be immature and throw tantrums, but from all the Aries people and Scorpions I know, Aries are the tougher. They bounce RIGHT BACK. They do not seem to get traumatized. They also don't spend time dwelling on hurt and pain. At least I haven't seen it. Everyone else needs a break to recover and digest what happened. Talk at length about it. Analyze it in 10 ways. They don't so much. They just seem to get over any type of pain very fast. Maybe because they don't reflect as deeply to get associated negatively to a bad experience.
My sister the Aries got into a car accident where she had to wear a neck brace. The tires all came off as a result. I would have stayed home for a week. She got up the very next morning, neck brace and all, drove around and went shopping for new tires for her car.
As far as control which the OP brought up, it is a catch 22 with Aries. They want to control the relationship, but if you cave and give it to them, they don't have respect for you.
As strong? I have never seen a stronger and more powerful sign. Aries may be known as crybabies of the zodiac, be immature and throw tantrums, but from all the Aries people and Scorpions I know, Aries are the tougher. They bounce RIGHT BACK. They do not seem to get traumatized. They also don't spend time dwelling on hurt and pain. At least I haven't seen it. Everyone else needs a break to recover and digest what happened. Talk at length about it. Analyze it in 10 ways. They don't so much. They just seem to get over any type of pain very fast. Maybe because they don't reflect as deeply to get associated negatively to a bad experience.
My sister the Aries got into a car accident where she had to wear a neck brace. The tires all came off as a result. I would have stayed home for a week. She got up the very next morning, neck brace and all, drove around and went shopping for new tires for her car.
As far as control which the OP brought up, it is a catch 22 with Aries. They want to control the relationship, but if you cave and give it to them, they don't have respect for you.
Fast forward 5 years. I just want to slap myself silly. Lawd
Posted by valkyriea
Fast forward 5 years. I just want to slap myself silly. Lawd
Are you two still together?
Posted by FlaviaPosted by valkyriea
Fast forward 5 years. I just want to slap myself silly. Lawd
Are you two still together?click to expand
No, not long after my last post here I walked and never looked back.
Posted by Rambunctious76
Op,
As an Aries, I'm saying, do what HeavenlyHera suggested. WALK.
Walk and make him come back to you. Stop texting him/calling him. Stop the attention bullshit. Tell him you need a timeout to sort stuff out. And then stick to it. He's not responding to you because he knows you will be affected by that. Try not to overthink it. And just leave it as him being an ass.
Don't give in to him, don't apologise if its not your fault. Just DON'T.
Long time ago I used to throw tantrums, bitch and moan if I didn't get my way. My Capricorn partner did the right thing by walking away. No contact for 2 months until SHE was good and ready to talk. I have to say that it worked.
Heya Ram. Is OP me? If so, thanks 🙂 This happened years ago though. I'm not as patient or tolerant, so I walked away for good. Anyway sometimes two people have personalities that just don't mesh.
If there's one thing I won't apologize for, it's for being nice, or 'giving in' to keep the peace. That's who I am. Fwiw, my bf of a few years now (Leo sun, sag moon) appreciates it very much. Although yeah, I was being disgustingly needy. Important lesson that the Aries left for me 🙂
Btw, hello fellow countryman 🙂
Hahah. That face 😱 is adorable.
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