Out of Sight Out of Mind?

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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Is that an Aries man thing?



YES.
click to expand




Well how are you suppose to take it? I don't like that very much, it comes across as very fickle and phony to me. I guess it simply means you are not a priority or considered worthy of the guy's time if he can phase you out as such...but this particular Aries I noticed does this with a lot of the people in his life, when they aren't present they just simply don't register in his mind.
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vesperlynd83
@vesperlynd83
12 Years

Comments: 32 · Posts: 453 · Topics: 1
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Is that an Aries man thing?



YES.



Well how are you suppose to take it? I don't like that very much, it comes across as very fickle and phony to me. I guess it simply means you are not a priority or considered worthy of the guy's time if he can phase you out as such...but this particular Aries I noticed does this with a lot of the people in his life, when they aren't present they just simply don't register in his mind.
click to expand




The thing with Aries men is that even though you may have captured their attention and interest, they will not actively pursue you or make you a priority unless you reciprocate the interest. They often have many friends and activities to attend to therefore if you don't make the effort to reach out regularly then you will just go down the ranks on their priority list.
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Is that an Aries man thing?



YES.



Well how are you suppose to take it? I don't like that very much, it comes across as very fickle and phony to me. I guess it simply means you are not a priority or considered worthy of the guy's time if he can phase you out as such...but this particular Aries I noticed does this with a lot of the people in his life, when they aren't present they just simply don't register in his mind.



The thing with Aries men is that even though you may have captured their attention and interest, they will not actively pursue you or make you a priority unless you reciprocate the interest. They often have many friends and activities to attend to therefore if you don't make the effort to reach out regularly then you will just go down the ranks on their priority list.
click to expand




That's totally understandable as I would do the same, but in regards to the relationship I have with my Aries man our dynamic was never like that. I certainly did not chase him, but once his interest for me and declaration was made towards me I solidified mine however now we are both on summer break working internships STATES away and he's just gone silent.

A little chit chat here and there but for the most part, he's just gone in the dark. I haven't bothered reaching out more than he has but I just find it fascinating how people can recycle people.
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AriesGirl74
@AriesGirl74
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 678 · Topics: 22
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Is that an Aries man thing?



YES.



Well how are you suppose to take it? I don't like that very much, it comes across as very fickle and phony to me. I guess it simply means you are not a priority or considered worthy of the guy's time if he can phase you out as such...but this particular Aries I noticed does this with a lot of the people in his life, when they aren't present they just simply don't register in his mind.



The thing with Aries men is that even though you may have captured their attention and interest, they will not actively pursue you or make you a priority unless you reciprocate the interest. They often have many friends and activities to attend to therefore if you don't make the effort to reach out regularly then you will just go down the ranks on their priority list.



That's totally understandable as I would do the same, but in regards to the relationship I have with my Aries man our dynamic was never like that. I certainly did not chase him, but once his interest for me and declaration was made towards me I solidified mine however now we are both on summer break working internships STATES away and he's just gone silent.

A little chit chat here and there but for the most part, he's just gone in the dark. I haven't bothered reaching out more than he has but I just find it fascinating how people can recycle people.
click to expand



Yes for us it is a case of out of sight out of mind, but it's not really clear here whether you are in an official relationship.
Also you say you are working miles away from each other at the moment so out of sight out of mind may just mean he's busy and you are reading too much into it. The situation is what it is so you can't do much until you get together again, if that's the plan.
Don't turn this into a "I'm not texting first" game; if you want to text him, just text him, it's not necessarily about expecting anything in return is it?
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by AriesGirl74
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Posted by vesperlynd83
Posted by malloryor
Is that an Aries man thing?



YES.



Well how are you suppose to take it? I don't like that very much, it comes across as very fickle and phony to me. I guess it simply means you are not a priority or considered worthy of the guy's time if he can phase you out as such...but this particular Aries I noticed does this with a lot of the people in his life, when they aren't present they just simply don't register in his mind.



The thing with Aries men is that even though you may have captured their attention and interest, they will not actively pursue you or make you a priority unless you reciprocate the interest. They often have many friends and activities to attend to therefore if you don't make the effort to reach out regularly then you will just go down the ranks on their priority list.



That's totally understandable as I would do the same, but in regards to the relationship I have with my Aries man our dynamic was never like that. I certainly did not chase him, but once his interest for me and declaration was made towards me I solidified mine however now we are both on summer break working internships STATES away and he's just gone silent.

A little chit chat here and there but for the most part, he's just gone in the dark. I haven't bothered reaching out more than he has but I just find it fascinating how people can recycle people.
click to expand



Yes for us it is a case of out of sight out of mind, but it's not really clear here whether you are in an official relationship.
Also you say you are working miles away from each other at the moment so out of sight out of mind may just mean he's busy and you are reading too much into it. The situation is what it is so you can't do much until you get together again, if that's the plan.
Don't turn this into a "I'm not texting first" game; if you want to text him, just
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Well my question is more in a general sense, I just tend to think differently when it comes to my personal relationships with people. If I let you in, I've deemed you as someone important to me in some shape or form so for me its unconscionable to just see people and relationships as "out of sight out of mind," so I'm really just trying to understand that logic as a whole.
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by feby16aqua
I wouldn't jump the gun yet. How long since you've heard from him and how long will you be apart?



Well before summer he contacted me everyday, he always asked to see me, things rarely progressed to anything sexual. For the most part it was genuine time being shared between two people, where feelings and honest emotions were a priority over something sexual. He told me from the beginning however that things would have to be tamed because summer was near and that it only made rational sense to not get too involved, and that he's very much an "out of sight out of mind type of person." Although my attraction to him at the time was undeniable (now I'm like things will or won't work and I can live with either), I liked him enough as a person to be completely fine with us just taking things slow, and being friends.

We now talk every now in then...couple times here or there during the month, but for the most part we've both just been super busy with our summer work.

However now the question for me is that even if he does come around, as I suspect he will I'm not sure I want to be bothered. For me relationships are important, I don't care if I'm dating the person or only see them purely as a friend, if I commit myself to have some sort of relationship with you, I want to play and have an active role in your life and yours in mind. When I'm away from my friends, I think about them, I still want to engage and interact with them, I still want to know how their life is going. I see no point in maintaining any type of relationship with a person if I don't see longevity.

That includes friendships...I don't want filler friends, I don't enjoy part timer friends, if I call you a friend, I'm considering for life. If I choose to date someone, I have to be able to physically see myself being with them for the long haul or I see no point in the relationship.
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by feby16aqua
understand not wanting filler friends or part timers. I've just found in my life so far that sometimes people change, their situations change, they come and go. You could meet some really amazing people, even if they are in your life for a short period of time...and learn from each experience as well. Knowledge to take with you and keep just for yourself even.

sorry got cut off...^^



That's nice perspective to things, I guess I'm just not use to that type of relationship with people because when I let someone in my life I try to be there for them--not necessarily 24/7, I get people have lives as do I--but I suppose I'm afraid seeing friendships like that leaves me to be vulnerable to being used.

It's happened before where in past friendships with people, I'll consider us friends but then its like once that person got what they needed their just gone. So I guess I prefer the black and white thing as a defense mechanism thing.
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malloryor
@malloryor
11 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 7 · Posts: 1996 · Topics: 55
Posted by feby16aqua
Hi Mallory :-) really just throwing my limited perspective out there. I respect your view on friendships and I completely understand the defenses lol I've built a fortified suit of armor over the years just for myself. I take forever to open up.

Do you feel like his friendship and the special times you've had together are enough to let you keep him in your life, even as a lighter type of friend? These Aries guys are pretty charming lol I attest to the Aries-libra axis as being the "axis of charm"
Yes the brute of an Aries guy is charming!!!! :-P



Yes ugh he's quite the charmer unfortunately, wish I could hate him for it but I can't hahaha
And yeah originally I was okay with just being friends because he has such a great personality, I've literally never met anyone like him before. I just want to be around him--and I know that sounds stalkerish--but its not coming from lusty desires, he's just magnetic...idk I can't explain.

But I tend to just let people in too quickly and then I get screwed over so I'm just trying to figure out I guess if I've just been fucked over by him. He came onto me, he kissed me, he started this whole damn thing and then he ended it because he said he wasn't ready--ex gf fucked him over--didn't see a point in us getting too deep because of it, and I'd say alright man do you, and here he'd come, all over me even though he said he wanted to take things slow.

He always made it apparent that he was sexually attracted to me, like there was HUGE sexual tension between us--he actually kissed me cuz he said he wanted to break that--but we never actually had sex because he wanted to be a gentlemen. When we hung out, it was never about sex it was always us hanging out on a more spiritual, emotional level idk can't explain.

Anyway my point is now I'm wondering if I was just some void for him because of his broken heart and I've got some other suspicions that just make me feel like I was used to fill some void but nothing he ever quite took seriously. It only bothers me so much because I've had other friendships where I felt like I was there to fill a void, to be someone's shoulder but then recycled.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

Comments: 252 · Posts: 36419 · Topics: 473
I just want to bring a different perspective. I am biased, I will admit it.

The advice Aries Women give on Aries Men is generally atrocious. Most of them see them as players. Same viceversa.

Same with Scorpio Women advising women to go straight for the jugular with Scorpio Men, when in that Sun Sign the women are way stronger and the men more sensitive but no one takes that into consideration.

Yes, Aries have a one track mind. The most important thing in their life will be their quest. If that quest is the career, that's what we'll do. If it's being an activist for animal rights, that's what they will do. If it's family, again that's what they will do. It's not to be taken personally. I, for one, respect individuality and someone who is on a mission..I can be second place to them if I get where they come from. They can be over the top in love with you and still have other things on their minds at time. The problem is..this behavior is also seen in men who aren't into you so it's hard to differentiate between the two. In my experience, they will make it known they care, no matter what crussade they're on. Even at his busiest, my Aries Ex didn't miss a day just to say goodnight if he was that tired and couldn't manage more. But he also dropped off the face of the Earth.

I get that because with my Aries Moon, months pass between me and my friends when it comes to contact. I'm really lucky because they get it's not me being selfish, it's me living my life. And living my life comes up with great stories to share after a period of absence. If we talked every day about every thing, we'd whine and bitch and that's not productive. With my love interest, I'm always there but that's my Water Venus doing the bidding.

Case in point, don't be so quick to dismiss this sign. Sometimes they really mean no harm and *shock* sometimes they aren't players.

Above all, know yourself and if the way you are can mesh with this energy, proceed. If not, rather than resort to bitching, keep it moving => this isn't addressed to anyone but I see it on all boards.