Pisces male trying too attract Aries female

Hi,

Around four/five months ago one of my best friends abroad in the Netherlands was dating this girl for 2 weeks and they split up as he dumped her for somebody else.
As I knew this girl the same time he was dating her, we became friends and soon after they split up we really started talking a lot more.
We have a great deal in common, same interests with quite similar outlooks and intentions in life.

First I should explain, I'm a British guy and she's Israeli studying in the Netherlands. I regularly visit Holland around 4 or 5 times a year to see friends as it's only across the 'river'.

As mentioned before, over the last few months we've really started to get along. Talking every day/night about anything and everything, texting each other through the day. I make her laugh and I've grown to really admire her character.

Up until last week I had not met her, though we both knew what we look like from Facebook pictures. Although I felt myself becoming attracted to her, I felt I should meet her first before trying to determine how I really feel about her and the situation.
So last week, I stayed in a hotel near to where she lives and on my first night, we went out together to a pub and had a really good laugh. I felt really attracted to her and we ended up talking till 4am. She let me stay at her student flat and we slept in the bed (something she says she does regularly with friends who stop over), whilst I was lying with her I decided to I decided to tell her that I've become really attracted to her over the last few months. She acknowledged it and said that there's a long distance between us which makes it complicated. She's been single for two years now and felt considerably happy that way.

So I left her house, feeling a little dismayed. But decided to get on with the rest of my trip and see other friends. We continued texting whilst I was there and later in the week decided to meet up at a club (with my friend and her friend). We had a good night and at the end of it, my friend left home early leaving me with her and her pal (Continued...)

As we were heading to the same town, all three of us got the train together in the early hours of the morning. Her friend kept falling asleep, leaving her and I to chat. We would continue having a laugh together, flirting around, talking about anything intellectual or funny. I would make fun of her, tease her and she slept on my shoulder for the rest of the journey (which lasted around 3 or 4 hours).
While she was sleeping on me, I just felt that this is what I wanted. I felt really, really attracted to this girl as a person and despite us being long distance, I'd really hope we could make a go of things despite being long distance. I should also mention that for the last year I've been making plans to move to the Netherlands (a country both of us love being in) with the intention of moving over next year, which she's aware of.

At the end of the train trip, we got in seperate taxis and she said I could come over the following afternoon to chill at her place with her friend (who's staying with her).
Hours later after some sleep, I went over to her place and all three of us ended up cooking, watching dvds, drinking, chilling out, having a laugh together and having topical conversations.
On the night when I was in her room, she was showing me family photos on her laptop, and as it was my last night, I decided to talk to her about the way I feel about her.

I explained to her that I knew we had talked about this before, but proceeded to tell her how much I'm attracted to her character, personality and all the small things. She went on to say that she really likes my company, loves how I make her laugh, the interests we share and how I'm great at constructive conversation. But she feels she doesn't know me properly enough for a relationship, despite the long distance and my intentions of moving over next year.
She asked me to be honest and tell her what I wanted. I said to her in short, that I'm moving over to Holland next year anyway, and that if I wasn't doing that, I probably wouldn't tell her how I feel. But I feel there is a real connection between us, and as we're only across the 'river', I'd really hope we could make the effort to make a go of a long distance relationship until I move over.
She explained again that she needs to know more about me (things that make me tick, things that don't, what I like in a relationship etc etc), and that also for her, she needs to be around that person more so than long distance. (Continued...)

I explained how I'd love to just text her in a morning when she wakes up, carry on talking through the day. Speak to each other over Skype on a night and just carry on talking as much as we do now.
She really liked that idea and said "Well just text me! You know you can text me whenever you want" and smiled. She went on to say that she cannot promise anything, but lets just carry on as we are and see how things go.

I felt a little reassured at that 'glimmer' of hope, and from there we just fell asleep again in the same bed (again no advances made from either side).
The following morning, it was my day to leave. I called a taxi to her house, and when it arrived, we hugged each other and she wished me a safe trip. When I walked out the door, we said bye to each other briefly and then she shut the door whilst I was standing there about to get in the car. I was half expecting her to wave me off until I'd disappeared in the taxi, but never to shut the door before I'd even opened the door of the car.

Anyway, later that day (Sunday) she travelled by train to Paris to visit her mom and her Gran who is sick. I flew home and from there on, she's been a little distant with me. I sent her a text to ask if she arrived in Paris, but she didnt reply. We spoke over MSN the following night, but only for half an hour and there wasn't much conversation from her.
I also said hello to her on MSN last night, but there was no reply... she later went offline without saying anything. Although later today, she sent me a message on facebook to say she wasn't at her computer when she messaged me.

Now I just feel in the space of 3 or 4 days, she's becoming distant with me. Most of the time, we'll have text each other a couple of times, or spoke on msn to arrange to speak properly later.

What do I about this now? I heard Aries females like somebody who makes them feel wanted, who is serious about them. But at the same time I really, really don't want to text her everyday, hoping on a reply, and generally just 'hassling' her.
I'm sorry it's a long message... granted it's not appealing to the eyes at first glance when you see this amount of text to read.

Cheers

I'm sorry, being an impatient ramgirl myself I could not read through your entire story. I only read the beginning and end 😢. But at least we're honest right?

In my personal experience, this is the thing I ADORE about Pisces men, I can speak to them for hours on end and have the best time of my life. I just love conversations with them, as they are natural and flow so smoothly.

Though here are my qualms about them (and might not particularly apply to you except the last point I'll make). The Pisces guy I was once speaking to lost my trust in the beginning because of little white lies he would tell. We Aries hold honesty as a high esteem above all, that is why I do no doubt the fact that when she says she's attracted to you, she probably means it.

Also, a quality I find lacking in Pisces male is that strong assertiveness. Personally, as a ram girl (and from what I've read about my sign) we prefer our partners to be stronger than us, a little more assertive, if you will. Yes, we love the conversations but we are very physical creatures being influenced by the planet Mars and all. So if you lack in that assertiveness, that conversation is satisfactory enough that we wouldn't need to move beyond friendship.

I know the whole strong/assertiveness is kind of vague, so to put it bluntly we like manly
men.

You are fine the way you are I would suggest being a little more assertive in getting what you want. By no means should you be calling her constantly, that is what women do.

Sorry two messages with bad advice based on that I'm an impatient Aries who did
not read through your entire post till now.

Let me tell you this and I'm just being honest but... You are suffocating her, you're being too needy and clinging and you guys are not even in a relationship. It seems to me she's already made up her mind on you, she's distancing herself. When an Aries is interested or likes you she will be trying to contact you and keep that line of communication open. But once we've made up our minds on a certain guy we've made up our minds.

I suggest you move on.

Maybe I guess... I'm usually quite assertive around her, it's only when I've told her what I think about her it's been too much I guess as you said.

So I guess there's no way of actually getting back to the way it was before, or any possible chance of re-attracting her?

Is it even worth distancing myself from her? Basically, I've really fallen for this girl, I just want to try and redeem myself.

I would at least give her space.

Personally, if I were in her position and assuming she doesn't feel the same... or is losing interest... even if you distanced yourself I really wouldn't care, I'd still not have feelings for you. BUT her and I are two completely different people, the only common thing we share are our sun signs.

I would suggest cooling it for now and hope for the best, and don't bring up the whole feeling thing until she's at least warmed up to you.

I would also suggest acting a little more cool and/or aloof about your feelings from now on. Though we Aries girl have the emotions of a woman, we sometimes have the male way of thinking with our Mars influence--therefore, we do like challenges.

Posted by odboland
Hi Xtina, when you say that you have decided on a guy when you decided. Is there a possibility at all you would love an ex back and start afresh when you tell this ex you wanted to try again?

Hmmm... Well I'm sure if I had wanted to restart things with an ex than I don't believe that I would have lost feelings for him to begin with, that's if I said that I wanted to try again.

In that scenario it would have had to been that they broke up with me/broke my heart for me to still have those feelings. BUT if I had broken up with them, well I never break up unless I'm 100% certain that I do not have feelings towards them anymore. I will always try to work on a relationship first before I try to let it go (when I am in a relationship).

So, therefore, if I let go I let go for good. I know I seem very black and white in the matter but I just don't like to have loose ends untied if I do decide to end a relationship.

So if it were his idea, no, my idea (after I had decidedly broken up with him) it would take a lot to convince me to go back on my words of not loving him, there would have to be a very good reason for it. I have a lot of pride so I hate going back on my words. Though IME with my ex Leo, I broke up with him and it took me two years to do so (this was a 5 year relationship btw) and I did so because I had no feelings for him whatsoever.

Plus, there would have to be a very good reason for me to break up with him yet still having feelings for him, like cheating, in which case I would never take him back no matter my feelings.

I know that was very convoluted but I hope that helps 😄.

Posted by DaBull_isDaShit
pisces and aries?

ouch to the pisces. awww pisces r sweet and all, but man aries r beastly, you gotta match that. my brother dated a pretty pisces girl, but man it was rocky relationship especially for the pisces. she was the passive one and he was the aggressive one, it use to drive him up the wall-she was too much of a deep thinker and he was too much of a doer who loved to be on the go a lot. In the end he got bored of it all, he ended up hurting her feelings too much and she wasn't strong enough to handle the ram, so he ended it.

Very good description of the Pisces/Aries combo. The Pisces would need some fire placement or the Aries with a lot of water for it to work.

So... it's been a week since we last spoke properly.

Ever since I came back home (a week and a half ago), I've been keeping my distance/keeping it friendly while I've been busy working on other projects, and I know she's been busy with school work.
She made a comment on one of my FB status updates and at the end of it she said she missed me, but I didn't reply to it.

Last weekend she started texting me and we started having a conversation for 6 hours until she went to bed at midnight. And since then I've not even heard from her, despite I know she's been studying a lot.

But the thing is... over the last 4 or 5 months we've been talking. Even when she's been hardcore studying, she would still come and speak to me on msn and this would be near enough everyday.
I'll see her online on msn, but I won't hear from her. I won't start conversations with her now, because when I know she's busy it just makes me feel pushy, and I'd rather wait for her to come back around to return to the days (like the last 4 or 5 months) where we would be talking/texting every day and night.

I just find it really strange that a really close friendship has come to nothing but distance.

A very similar thing happened to me with the Pisces that was interested in me. Well, except I told him straight out I just wanted to be friends, he hung around for a while, I think he believed that there was still a chance... than one day, like any Pisces will do, he swan away. This was of course after a week or so of not calling him and when he called me I acted very nonchalant about it. He stopped calling and deleted me from his friends on facebook. I'm sure I had hurt his feelings.

I wasn't sad, to say the least, I was only disheartened of a lost friendship. It is strange to be on speaking terms with someone and having the ritual of calling them, and them you, daily. Than to suddenly stop speaking. This is where I've derived my many theories about women and men, it is very hard for freindship to work for the different sexes for there will always be a conflict of interest; by either the woman loving the man or vice versa.

I can say, though, that I move on from them without a tear to shed; and I only have my Libra moon to thank for that.






I say you should move on.

A girl like that doesn't deserve you if she can't accept you for who you are and your methods for love.

But I also say learn and grow from this... nothing can survive, not even love, in such a tight grasp. It is a living entity that needs room to breathe for it to grow and prosper.

Such a joke, it's unreal.

Feel like I've already lost a good friend, to the point it's really frustrating me that I'm being treated like I don't matter anymore.

Yes, in true Piscean way, I'm considering getting out of there (deleting number, msn, facebook etc) because if she's not speaking to me - what's the point in maintaining friendship anyway?
When my friend had left her for somebody else, I continued speaking to her (despite the fact he told us both didn't like it) and she said she found me to be so much more of a decent fella than he was.
We really hit it off and when it came to the point that after a few months of talking non-stop, I tell her I like her... it's as if I've put an axe in the whole thing, when what I was doing only felt natural for me to tell her.

I'm just 'hurt' in a way that I've lost a good friend, somebody I had lots in common with and really enjoyed talking to. Now it doesn't make a difference what I say or do, because as you mentioned before, you wasn't sad to say the least that he stopped talking to you.

Posted by seafood_disco
Such a joke, it's unreal.

Feel like I've already lost a good friend, to the point it's really frustrating me that I'm being treated like I don't matter anymore.

Yes, in true Piscean way, I'm considering getting out of there (deleting number, msn, facebook etc) because if she's not speaking to me - what's the point in maintaining friendship anyway?
When my friend had left her for somebody else, I continued speaking to her (despite the fact he told us both didn't like it) and she said she found me to be so much more of a decent fella than he was.
We really hit it off and when it came to the point that after a few months of talking non-stop, I tell her I like her... it's as if I've put an axe in the whole thing, when what I was doing only felt natural for me to tell her.

I'm just 'hurt' in a way that I've lost a good friend, somebody I had lots in common with and really enjoyed talking to. Now it doesn't make a difference what I say or do, because as you mentioned before, you wasn't sad to say the least that he stopped talking to you.

I understand you frustration, really.

But all you can do from this is learn and move on, because I promise you, you will find a girl more smart, more funny, and one MORE deserving of your love out there. You just have to be patient and know that you will eventually find her 🙂.

As for the friendship, it wouldn't have worked anyway with you pining after her, you know it, she knew it. She wouldn't have been able to have been a good friend. This is all for the best.

So swim away fishie, swim away.