Self Analysis

Aries men what is your best and worst quality?

Oh this is going to be good! Great question! This may help me a lil with this guy. Where's my popcorn...I'm waiting to read what flies up on this post...lol!

Everything

Ahh man! Come on! You can do better than that! DETAILS!!!!!!

they put up this facade that their lives are perfect and try to make themselves believe it is , even when its not ?

My best characteristic would be my absolute devotion to my loved ones. Total, deep, sincere devotion.

My worst is my callousness to others, and once in a while to my loved ones. Telling someone "What a bunch of shit that is," is not a good way to win friends and influence people, you see.

Posted by upss
they put up this facade that their lives are perfect and try to make themselves believe it is , even when its not ?

Been there, done that....

Posted by MahoganyAries
Ahh man! Come on! You can do better than that! DETAILS!!!!!!

Go read a psych book if you want details, all fricken nosy.

"Everything" is an adequate response. Take it or leave it.

Posted by dofacc
My best characteristic would be my absolute devotion to my loved ones. Total, deep, sincere devotion.

My worst is my callousness to others, and once in a while to my loved ones. Telling someone "What a bunch of shit that is," is not a good way to win friends and influence people, you see.

This describes me accurately. Except I tend to be very cold towards my family as well. My mother often mentions that I am too unsympathetic. I've never noticed that but being that I haven't had a close friend in 6 years that maybe she is right. Lol.

Maybe it's our virgo moons dofacc.. hmm.

Now you mention it AI16, it could be our Virgo moons. And of course, add our nature Aries trait for being "direct," it is pretty easy to hurt some feelings, and to do so very unintentionally.

Actually Starlover, I am much better than I used to be. It has taken me a lot of years, and I am still not very good at it, but I truly try not to be flatly offensive. But, I do "call 'em like I see 'em," and that can be rather hard on some people. In the end, I gotta' be me, because I can be none other.

^^natural Aries.....

dofacc & AriesIntrovert...how do you both, as Aries men handle stress?

Posted by MahoganyAries
dofacc & AriesIntrovert...how do you both, as Aries men handle stress?

Oh I'm not a man,*sorry* but I tend to shut down when I get stressed.

Lol...my apologies. I do also to a certain point, but I will open up to my significant other if I'm in a relationship or to a close friend.

Posted by MahoganyAries
Lol...my apologies. I do also to a certain point, but I will open up to my significant other if I'm in a relationship or to a close friend.

I get withdrawn...stay indoors and if forced to interact with people will be aloof and short. Deep thinking. And then ill sometimes come up for air and talk about it with friends...but I dont share all my issues

^^Agreed.

Posted by bkbella86

Posted by MahoganyAries
Lol...my apologies. I do also to a certain point, but I will open up to my significant other if I'm in a relationship or to a close friend.

I get withdrawn...stay indoors and if forced to interact with people will be aloof and short. Deep thinking. And then ill sometimes come up for air and talk about it with friends...but I dont share all my issues

click to expand

I used to shut down quite a bit, and hide behind my "facade" even more. I handle stress much better now. Practice, practice, practice I suppose. I also stay more physically active than I used to. Being active helps me a lot. Basically keeps me sane.

One of the things I have learned Starlover is to just plain keep my mouth shut. People tend to think that I am "very quiet," and that can make them uncomfortable. On the other hand, I find "uncomfortable" a step up from angry and hurt.

I think this is right. It "feels" right, whatever that may mean.

Sun Aries14.14
Moon Virgo15.21
Mercury Pisces26.45
Venus Pisces6.18
Mars Taurus25.49
Jupiter Cancer20.27
Saturn Scorpio20.12 R
Uranus Cancer23.35
Neptune Libra27.13 R
Pluto Leo24.31 R
Lilith Sagittarius2.43
Asc node Sagittarius29.51

I really like your story about your sister and father, Starlover. I am one of those dads that kept insisting to my daughter that "You will ALWAYS be MY Little Girl. It does just seem right that you dad came and got your sister when the time came.

I have managed to work through a lot of things. It has taken me a long time, though. A lot remains to be done. It can take a long time for some of us to gain the insights we need to make ourselves better people. On the other hand as I have said before, and it is really true, I have to be me, because I can be none other.

Most of my siblings cut our father out of their lives, and kept him out. He was a difficult person to deal with. His BD was the day before mine, so I always thought I "got" him better than any one other than my mother. As such, I can see your sisters side of that whole dynamic. A very difficult situation for all involved.

Posted by starlover
Sadly i had to let go of mine ... he never listened and chose to have things his way which ultimately resulted in me walking away from him

With regards to my sister, she couldnt tolerate our dad's foot in the mouth outspokenness so she blanked him...he was mortified and used to cry to me about it often. i chose to stand up to him and not take any nonsense, which resulted in an equal relationship...whereas she didnt find the strength to do that.....so sad 😢

Actually, standing up to my father and not taking any crap was what allowed me to deal with him. Basically, when I had proven that I was as tough as he was, he gave me some respect and some space. He could understand me when I stood up for myself, but couldn't understand when others didn't.

Dang, you guys seem to have had a hard time with Aries males. Gonna' have to have a hard look at myself after this thread.

Posted by starlover
dofacc ~~ an empath psychic told me *he didn't mean to hurt you ~ he just never learned his lessons*


Sadly, some never do ~ but if we are prepared to look, there is always hope, so good for you for giving it a go

🙂

One of the things that I thought about my father was that he simply "doesn't have a very good set of tools." The idea is that he really wasn't equipped to deal with a lot of what life had dealt him. I always felt that he did the best he could, the best he knew how, but he just didn't quite get what was really needed.

As people point out, life is a journey. You have to be able to adapt to the new terrain as you move along your path. Some of us are simply better at that than others.

Curious you should mention your father essentially laying his faults at the feet of his upbringing. My father did exactly the same thing. I also have to report that my scorp ex did the very same thing.

One of the things that I have forced myself to do is to acknowledge that by the time I was in my 30's I had been independent for a fair number of years. Anything I was, or was not, could only be laid at my door. I had been on my own long enough that I had created who and what I was. If I didn't like it, well there was no one to blame by myself. It seems this particular insight escapes a good number of people.

I also need to mention that is has taken a lot of time and practice to learn to actually listen to what I am being told. I have also lost that feeling of defensiveness when someone offers to help. I still feel a twinge of "I Can Do It, Damn It," but I keep struggling to overcome some of those really stupid emotions and accept that I have limitations. Once again, I notice this with a lot of people of many descriptions. These things may be more pronounced in Aries males, but maybe not.

I was with my scorp for 30 years. After about the first 5 we were always a bit on the edgy side, but we managed to make it work. The last 4-5 years it got bad. Nothing to overt, just a more or less constant flow of negativity from the scorp. She would do things that she knew would make me angry, just to make me angry. Just small, petty, irritating things. She wanted me out of her life and rather than say so, she made me miserable.

I totally agree with you learning what not to do from our fathers. If what he did was wrong and made people unhappy, well by golly no one was going to like it any more when I did the same thing. It sounds so easy, but it actually takes quite a bit of personal insight. To see something that isn't so positive in someone else is fairly easy. To see it in yourself is much more difficult. After all, from your perspective you have perfectly valid reasons for blah blah blah. Of course, the person you were/are observing is using exactly the same thinking to rationalize their behavior. Down right tricky to figure out, actually.

Dang Starlover, and here I was babbling about life being a "journey."

It is a wonderful thing that you and your father managed to reconcile, and become close. Of course, as an Aries male I don't have a soft, gooey inside that could be deeply touched by your story. Otherwise, well it just wouldn't be seemly for a person such as I with a reputation for being a hard ass to be seen sighing over your story.

**Sigh**

(Promise not to tell, OK!)