So confused

So I am an aries girl, and met an aries guy at work.

I guess we both had crushes on each other, and he invited me out to a party last weekend.
So after some texts, we finally met up at a bar.
Then I ended up at his friend's house hanging out with him, watching movies.
We talked alot and went to sleep (not together), got up, he drove me home, then he texted me all day, to hang out again.

I was excited to, so I hurried and he picked me up again, and we went to another bar and watched football, and he was so affectionate and sweet, touching me and kissing me. We went back to his friends again and we talked all night til 5am, about how much we have in common and he was telling me how awesome I was, and he wants to be with me, be his girlfriend and so on.

So we slept a tiny bit and he dropped me off and told me to text him when I woke up, so I did and he barely answered me and I was getting this weird vibe from him.
He said we would hang out the next day, but then he never showed.
He texted me at 3am saying he fell asleep but he wanted to see me as soon as he woke up.

I couldn't reach him all day, around 4pm we talked and he was in a bad mood, and was cold to me.
From that day on, he's barely been talking to me, won't text first, and seems to be avoiding me.
We did hang out 2 nights ago and I spent the night again but he was in no way acting the same as he did the other nights.

I don't understand what is going on and why he could just change all of the sudden.
Please give me some insight?

oh I also asked him if he still wanted to keep seeing each other, and if he doesn't to tell me, but he says "you're too insecure, we went over this" and so on.

I think because he's not answering me much or at all, it makes me want him more.

But I'm afraid that if I stop, that he won't bother at all.
I'm still confused though, because he's the one that came on strong first

i'm sorry i had to be the one to tell you this...............but aries boys have cooties. big ones.

Posted by effedupgirl
2nd nite..did you guys have sex? cause i saw this same thing happen with a gfriend who slept with the guy on the second date...but she denied it to me for months..and would walk around going.."i just don't understand"...
if you had sex with him on the second nite you guys went out...he coulda just been trying to get it..and that's all. that's not saying anything negative about you or him..that's just how it is sometimes.
but if you didnt have sex with him, give us a little more history. i know you said you guys met at work..but what kinda job is it? are there lots of guys there and maybe you'd slept with one of them before and he's found out about it maybe? i don't know..just throwing things out there. and no disrespect intended at all. just give us a little more info.

No we just kissed, I told him about my past and how I wanted to be a 'good girl' and he said he totally understood and didn't push, he just held me and we laughed and joked all night, when we were texting the next day he said it was ok because he knows I've been through a lot. He's only been in 2 serious relationships, as have I and we didn't want to rush into anything yet.

His cousin actually told me (in front of him) that he really liked me a lot, and he's scared of getting hurt again like his ex did to him, and he's intimidated by me.
But I don't get why he's not answering my texts or calls, I've cut them down to like one a day, and I don't even get any response.

I just started this job recently, and he a few months beforehand, there is a lot of drama at work but he's the first one that actually asked me out.

So you think if I leave him be, he will come to me? I'm sort of scared he just won't bother, I've read the aries male can be hot and cold constantly, but I've never dealt with one yet.

Posted by ariessun
of course he did. that's a male aries for you. but remember just as you see this as a challenge now, because he's not returning your calls and is ignoring you, he would have done the same if you blew him off and ignored him. then he would be the one doing the chasing.
in my experience..aries + aries rarely works out...

Hey AS!!

AS is correct. The Aries/Aries deal is a toughy, but not impossible. Mine lasted an insane 2 years.
Leave him be. If he doesn't come back then is it really worth it anyway?
Who knows what his deal is? It could be that he got scared and isn't ready. If he comes back, I'd have a talk with him and get it all out on the table...this is what we do best as Aries.

thanks everyone, it really helped.

We were supposed to hang out today but I've heard nothing from him, and refuse to keep chasing him.
Unfortunately I have to see him tomorrow at work.

AS is right you weren't a challenge. You made yourself too availible. If it's one thing I know it's Aries men. I've never been attracted to one, but I have been chased by many of them.

Slow down, stop calling him, and let him come to you.

Also, you didn't set the standard in the relationship. You need to let him know that a relationship is what you wanted, and if that's not in his agenda tell you now so you can leave your options open and not waste your time. You also let bad behavior slide too easily. Boy, if that ram boy told me I was insecure.. Well let's just say I wouldn't have taken none of that.

"Boy, if that ram boy told me I was insecure.. Well let's just say I wouldn't have taken none of that."

No doubt Xtina! I would not have either...probably because we are Aries! I think that's why it's hard to be in a relationship with another one. We can be too much alike and who wants to be with someone like us??!! LOL!

Posted by ariessun
don't call/contact him anymore. let him do the pursuing and chasing.

seriously! that goes for most guys in general. he already thinks ur insecure and he is probably really turned off now.

i know how everyone says that they don't wanna play games but there's always some kinda strategy involved which eludes to it. i say that if u don't wanna be a "player" so-to-speak, then always be urself but fear not rejection. there will eventually be a guy who will eat it up. unfortunately he will most likely be equally insecure if not moreso.

don,t chase after him,don,t phone him he,ll be back
even if it,s only to see if he can get you back!

It's really hard to not text, but I've been doing it.

I found out today he got fired from work a couple days ago, but still no word from him.

I guess I'll just try and forget him for now and see if he bothers to contact me again.
I feel really selfish all of the sudden 😢

Posted by ramfishtwins
"Boy, if that ram boy told me I was insecure.. Well let's just say I wouldn't have taken none of that."

No doubt Xtina! I would not have either...probably because we are Aries! I think that's why it's hard to be in a relationship with another one. We can be too much alike and who wants to be with someone like us??!! LOL!

Exactly!!

thanks effed, yah I mean I'm so worried about my own emotions, and why he isn't contacting me, when I should know better, something bad just happened for him and while I offered an ear if he should ever need me, I feel like I should have just let it be.

I don't know, I'm too sensitive at times.
You all have really helped alot and I appreciate it all so much.

I'm just going to hope that Mars going into Leo really does help my love life, if not with him then someone else.

"thanks effed, yah I mean I'm so worried about my own emotions, and why he isn't contacting me, when I should know better, something bad just happened for him and while I offered an ear if he should ever need me, I feel like I should have just let it be."

No, it's good you let him know you are there. He will love that...we all do, but especially a ram. Show us you care and we are puddy...
Just give him some time to come around. As Aries, we love the personal connection, but we also adore our independance. He's probably going through a lot right now.

I've been through alot of bad things with men, I am just really sick of it all ya know?

He seemed like he could be a really good boyfriend, but of course things had to change out of nowhere, and kick me in the face.

I almost want to give up, I keep losing all my hope.
I was perfectly fine being alone for the past couple of years, then he came along and I actually started to feel again, now I don't want to feel because it only hurts 😢

it's hard not to, especially in the past few years with all the guy troubles I've had.
WAY too many, I'm starting to feel like I'm completely unloveable.

I can get over things somewhat quickly but there's always that thought in the back of my mind like "why?"
I just don't get what I'm ALWAYS doing wrong to drive everyone away

Posted by SyntheticAnesthetic
it's hard not to, especially in the past few years with all the guy troubles I've had.
WAY too many, I'm starting to feel like I'm completely unloveable.

I can get over things somewhat quickly but there's always that thought in the back of my mind like "why?"
I just don't get what I'm ALWAYS doing wrong to drive everyone away

*Just to note I only say this because I do really want to help you and I'm not trying to be mean in any way*

Based on what you written here it's obvious. You make yourself TOO AVAILABLE. And when that is the case you come off as too desperate or needy. And guys do not like desperate or needy. Even the Aries guy said it himself "you're too insecure..."!!

And I know you're thinking in your head well she's young and she just loves playing games. I don't. And it's not about playing games it about setting standards for yourself and following through.??
I think the reason why you haven't been setting standards is more of a self-esteem issue, and something you'll probably need to work out before you can attempt another relationship. I know I don't know your whole situation, but I know enough to tell you this. You don't hold yourself at a high enough esteem.

First off, from what you written, it seems like you were willing to spend any and all the time he was wanting to spend with you, calling each day and agreeing to meet up. Don't you have other things to do? While you might not, it just seems you don't have a life of your own, and that equates to being needy. You don't have to believe me, just believe what he said on the third day (of what you've written).

Secondly, hmmm... bar, football, and hanging with his friends. I'm guessing that was his idea and you went along for the ride. You didn't want to go have dinner or watch a movie? If you were just happy with hanging out with him, we have some real issues.
To be continued...??

Do you remember that movie Coming to America with Eddy Murphy? Well in the beginning of the movie he is betroth to the gorgeous woman and in an attempt to get to know her he takes her to the back and ask her what her favorite food is and she answers "Whatever you like." and he continues to ask her other questions to which she answers "Whatever you like." In the end he gets her to hop on one foot and yap like a dog. Well honey that is you if you agree to do whatever he wants all the time, you becoming boring to them. Something easy and there. I tell you this because I've been through this before! I know what it looks like. He says jump and you say "How high?"

These are only some of the things I noticed and they could be more but than I'd be writting a novel. You have to make them chase you a little and as much as you might detest playing games (trust me I hate to play games) but you have to realize it or not the other team plays that game. I promise you they play by those rules and they play that game. So you'll always lose unless you shape up and start playing too. The first thing you need to shape up is that insecurity of yours and you need to realize that you are an attractive desirable woman and that any man would be lucky to have you. BUT you don't need a man to make you happy, you do that on your own.

And I know people won't agree with me or what not but I wanted to tell you the truth with no sugar coating. Just the bitter truth. You can ignore it and say"I know" but it won't stop it from being the truth.

Good Luck.

*another note: it 's fine to just want to hang out with him, WHEN you've been committed to each other and have been dating for a while*

see but I looove football, so it's ok, I am a huge football fan.

and you're right I don't have a life, I work and sit at home, so spending time with someone else seems appealing to me.
I'm a sucker right? Letting everyone take advantage of me.

We hung out tonight and I asked for a straight answer and he said with losing his job and his grandmother being sick he can't worry about someone else right now and needs to take care of himself which I understand.
So it's all good, I will play the waiting game and see what happens.
If nothing, then cool we are still friends, if not then it wasn't meant to be right?

That may be the alcohol talking thoughl.

Posted by ariessun
look, it's not you per se'. us aries women are not the easiest females to deal with. it just is what it is. and there are very few men who can handle an aries woman. period. they are out there (the men who can deal with us) but they're few and far between.
the reality is, most of us aries, think like men, yet we still have the whole "woman" emotional thing too. and it's not easy.
and if you think about it, i'm sure, in your past, there were men who you casually dated or you brushed off because you just weren't interested and you never gave it a second thought about blowing them off without ever glancing back. see?
remember, men are from mars, women are from venus, and us aries broads are stuck somewhere in the middle...
don't second guess yourself, love yourself first, and piss on the rest who don't.
good luck sweetie..from one ramette to another! 🙂

Another spot on post from my fellow sister ram. It does take a very unique individual to handle us.