MzAriesLady
@MzAriesLady
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 14 · Topics: 3
Will I ever achieve patience and be self-less?
I guess Its a good thing I realize it and try. Just I always have those awful pains when I don't get what I want and feel cheated. Not so much like I throw tantrums but I focus on how it feels inside me, n being angry at the other person for it. It's usually only with my Pisces that I feel that way, I have kids and I give them what they need, spoil em when I can. I know I'm not the best nurturing mom, but I do lots if acts of device, words of affirmation and gifts. Not so good with the, come sit on my Lao n read u a story n kiss u to pieces.
Posted by MzAriesLady
Can Aries ever see the bigger picture, my Pisces tries to ground me, but I can't help but feel, he is being a jerk
If you want him to help you and he does, then you think he's a jerk ... then why should anyone ever care about you ??
That is your first step to overcome. You will never learn to change yourself if you are going to resort to laying blame on someone else for your failings.
If a person is helping you, and you think they are a jerk because you fail to accomplish what you set out to do .... then that's a cop out and a coward.
Trying to change yourself is like going on a diet or trying to quit smoking or drinking .... a person cannot quit so long as they are still that person.
meaning .. a smoker can't quit smoking cigarettes if they still consider themselves to be a smoker .. because then they are denying themselves something they want to do. And it's the same principal here.
So long as you want to think of yourself first ... you can't not do that, because you are selfish person not a selfless one.
So, the trick is to change your mind. You have to change your mind because you can change your actions.
meaning .. a smoker can't quit smoking cigarettes if they still consider themselves to be a smoker .. because then they are denying themselves something they want to do. And it's the same principal here.
So long as you want to think of yourself first ... you can't not do that, because you are selfish person not a selfless one.
So, the trick is to change your mind. You have to change your mind because you can change your actions.
Oh! Ok🙂 sheesh! Baby steps I guess lol. I will use that concept... Thanks everyone.
I really should start meditation, my Pisces started that and has even more patience than before... Practice practice practice:-)) Ty everyone!
I really should start meditation, my Pisces started that and has even more patience than before... Practice practice practice:-)) Ty everyone!
Posted by amethyst2002
Man, wtf is wrong with some of these people...
I couldn't do that all about me bullshit. It's rude and inconsiderate. I'm guilty of thinking of others first quite a lot. Inconsideration is one of my major pet peeves and I get super cranky when people are like that with me or any friends of mine. I'm constantly thinking of when I need to be places so I don't keep people waiting, what I'm doing and how it'll affect others, etc. I do have random moments (I'm human), but quickly correct it because I feel bad.
It's just how I was raised. *shrugs* People who go around with this "all about me" attitude need to be bitch slapped. No fucker, it is NOT all about you. Get real, princess.
*agrees*
I think finding a healthy balance usually works.
Any tips on meditation, does it matter what time of day, also thanks for the tip on listening to my gut more. I do realize I'm being selfish because my conscious tells me lol. I am self employed, cuz I hate taking orders lol. I Practice what I learn, but the inpatient side of me wants to take short cuts sometimes. Slow and steady is not my style . Basically I want to channel all my impulsive tendencies and curve then for positive things🙂 Pisces has taught me a lot of things and I love their spiritual nature which comes so natural to them. Not so much for me lol. But i won't quit... I will keep On figuring out anyway to be more humble. I'm generous and all, and giving of my love and time, and material things. What I lack sometime is true empathy. And when in hurt, I don't c how it affected the other person... But I do pray and pray n read scriptures. Just I tend to look for worldly ways to a fast solution. This is truly my hardest lesson in life, patience and not being so selfish with feelings🙂 Ty everyone
*sighs*
MzAriesLady, what I understand from your posts is you wanting to have a 'water sign' approach to life (correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I get from reading your posts), unfortunately, you are not predominantly a water sign, accept it, move on, you are where you are.
And when in hurt, I don't c how it affected the other person...
who really can? we can only assume that based on certain causes and effects, a person should feel this. 'should' being the main word, it becomes an assumption because you don't know all details about how the person's psychology is made up. You can never be 100% about how a person feels when events happen.
This is the approach with the different elements:
Air signs think ... so expect other elements to think
Earth signs organise/coordinate ... so expect other elements to organise
Fire signs act ... so expect other elements to act
Water sign feel ... so expect other signs to feel
^^^ this doesn't mean that all four elements don't think, organise, act or feel btw, it just means this is how the chart affects their initial approach. We all only get better if we really stop to assume, expecting and start looking at things for what they are.
Can a heavily Aries charted sign really meditate? No really... think about this, sitting still, clearing out your thoughts of everything...especially you who is self-employed 🙂 Come off it, be real.
I couldn't even meditate in my sleep! I wouldn't want to even try, gives me a bloody headache just thinking about it to be honest.
MzAriesLady, what I understand from your posts is you wanting to have a 'water sign' approach to life (correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I get from reading your posts), unfortunately, you are not predominantly a water sign, accept it, move on, you are where you are.
And when in hurt, I don't c how it affected the other person...
who really can? we can only assume that based on certain causes and effects, a person should feel this. 'should' being the main word, it becomes an assumption because you don't know all details about how the person's psychology is made up. You can never be 100% about how a person feels when events happen.
This is the approach with the different elements:
Air signs think ... so expect other elements to think
Earth signs organise/coordinate ... so expect other elements to organise
Fire signs act ... so expect other elements to act
Water sign feel ... so expect other signs to feel
^^^ this doesn't mean that all four elements don't think, organise, act or feel btw, it just means this is how the chart affects their initial approach. We all only get better if we really stop to assume, expecting and start looking at things for what they are.
Can a heavily Aries charted sign really meditate? No really... think about this, sitting still, clearing out your thoughts of everything...especially you who is self-employed 🙂 Come off it, be real.
I couldn't even meditate in my sleep! I wouldn't want to even try, gives me a bloody headache just thinking about it to be honest.
ve responded to a similar question a short while ago from my perspective when someone asked about Aries being too mean:
Posted by zenalchemyPosted by AiryBri
I've been 'being my unfiltered self' much more lately because I got a lot of new/closer friends. But I've been told a lot that I am "mean" lol. They don't mean it in a negative way -- they get that I'm half joking/exaggerating when I say things. I'm just extremely blunt and I can't help myself. Most of the time it takes someone saying "wow, that was really mean." for me to realize it was (but they are usually laughing about it still...)
I worry I'm over doing it and hurting people I care about's feelings but, it's who I am. So I'm not sure what to do about it. I very rarely hold back on account of something being "mean" especially when I'm kidding around.click to expand
Good that you noticed.
My recommendation, once you see something and your instincts say 'go, blurt it'...don't...always wait a split second.
Why the split second you ask? It give you time to ask yourself the following questions:
- do I really need to say anything?
- Is it any of my business what I think?
- is saying anything really gonna make a difference?
- ^ if yes, then the next question is how do I phrase it so I speak in the language that the person understands (means of delivery changes effectiveness of a comment)
- if no difference will be made, isn't a stupid giggle or smile better than blurting out something you will regret?
Yes, it won't take you long to think of these angles because Aries is a lightning quick thinking sign.
Also the above helps you do the following;
- think a bit more (this makes a lot of difference, Aries is not a sign that needs to sit there thinking and turning everything around, that's not the Fire characteristics, it always has a little Air that helps it burn brighter. The Air is already there, just the split second wait brings it out)
- learn about communicating effectively
- learn about the characters of others, e.g. when you think about what language to use to communicate to someone, you generally try to understand the other person a bit more)
goes on and on, but you get the point and I'm tired of typing
Basically, I am saying, stop and think before acting, this is what I say to Aries charted people when they have the victimised 'everyone thinks I focked up' look on their face.
Take 5 mins, reflect,
- what would have been the ideal way to handle that so 'everyone' comes out semi-happy
- what could I have done better or how could I have helped prevent
- how can I help? can I really help or is it my ego talking
It takes a while but these questions happen in your mind very quickly if you let them, they are there...acting too quick suppresses them.
lol, this made me chuckle b/c
1) I assume Starlover is a water sign sun or moon? she just says 'try to point out how the other person feels'...
2) when I was younger, what your man did used to happen to me a lot & used to get grounded when adults tell me to do something, they come back & I have a blank look on my face. I can't remember what they hell they told me to do 😄
Take 5 mins, reflect,
- what would have been the ideal way to handle that so 'everyone' comes out semi-happy
- what could I have done better or how could I have helped prevent
- how can I help? can I really help or is it my ego talking
It takes a while but these questions happen in your mind very quickly if you let them, they are there...acting too quick suppresses them.
Posted by starlover
My aries man is very patient but not self-less at all. I sometimes try to point out how the other person feels, and he really struggles with that. One thing i will say for him is though he really does try.
The other day i asked him to make me some tea....he came back without it lol...he had something to do for himself and he forgot...so i threatened to kill him....joke!!
lol, this made me chuckle b/c
1) I assume Starlover is a water sign sun or moon? she just says 'try to point out how the other person feels'...
2) when I was younger, what your man did used to happen to me a lot & used to get grounded when adults tell me to do something, they come back & I have a blank look on my face. I can't remember what they hell they told me to do 😄
One of the main reasons for this is that Aries is an active sign, a lot of noise in the head or physically just thinking up schemes, things to discover, gosh! so much to do with such little time!! Basically, when you asked him to go to the kitchen, there were probably a list of 10 things at least he wanted from the kitchen before you even asked... lol!
This rush to explore the world, get things done, etc, is a big origin of the selfish, self-centred rep of the Ram. You basically stand in their way of conquering that task and moving on to the next thing to be explored.
So what I learned to do is basically start making little mental notes, put things down in my calendar
E.g. if someone asks me to get stuff from the kitchen,
- I wonder off into the kitchen, stand there thinking of my phone calls I need to make, quick list of kitchen supplies that are running low, open the cupboard & stare at it blankly and think, wtf? why am I in the kitchen? 'oh yea, he/she wants tea blah', hmmm, some biscuits or chocolate may be good too I guess with the tea, do they like choco? Hope they are not dieting, blah... Need some hot water, turn on the kettle, anyways, where was I? 'hmmm, need to call office, check mails, respond to that dude, etc...
Take the tea back with an extra chocolate/biscuit, the person assumes I was being considerate & caring...
Was I really considerate & caring? I dunno... but I just stop to think a little. Makes a huge difference as it becomes more and more a part of you.
Funny enough I had a similar conversation with an Air sign 2 days ago, she kept cocking up and trying to appear the victim, after she told her story, it just turns out she doesn't think enough about the consequences of her actions & inactions (Air signs are notorious for not acting when they should😄). She just assumed people should know what she's thinking...etc
Big mess this whole life ... bottom line MzAriesLady, just do you best to reflect on things briefly before diving in.
I basically get on with most signs cos of this, some signs I have to mentally adjust more, some less but I am basically the peacemaker wherever I happen to stumble into... mostly because making peace helps me get back to my world exploration quest without emotional baggage. Yes it is selfish! I know, shut up 😛
This rush to explore the world, get things done, etc, is a big origin of the selfish, self-centred rep of the Ram. You basically stand in their way of conquering that task and moving on to the next thing to be explored.
So what I learned to do is basically start making little mental notes, put things down in my calendar
E.g. if someone asks me to get stuff from the kitchen,
- I wonder off into the kitchen, stand there thinking of my phone calls I need to make, quick list of kitchen supplies that are running low, open the cupboard & stare at it blankly and think, wtf? why am I in the kitchen? 'oh yea, he/she wants tea blah', hmmm, some biscuits or chocolate may be good too I guess with the tea, do they like choco? Hope they are not dieting, blah... Need some hot water, turn on the kettle, anyways, where was I? 'hmmm, need to call office, check mails, respond to that dude, etc...
Take the tea back with an extra chocolate/biscuit, the person assumes I was being considerate & caring...
Was I really considerate & caring? I dunno... but I just stop to think a little. Makes a huge difference as it becomes more and more a part of you.
Funny enough I had a similar conversation with an Air sign 2 days ago, she kept cocking up and trying to appear the victim, after she told her story, it just turns out she doesn't think enough about the consequences of her actions & inactions (Air signs are notorious for not acting when they should😄). She just assumed people should know what she's thinking...etc
Big mess this whole life ... bottom line MzAriesLady, just do you best to reflect on things briefly before diving in.
I basically get on with most signs cos of this, some signs I have to mentally adjust more, some less but I am basically the peacemaker wherever I happen to stumble into... mostly because making peace helps me get back to my world exploration quest without emotional baggage. Yes it is selfish! I know, shut up 😛
Apologies to hijack the thread
One more😄 pweety pwease!
I agree with this, but the main 2 fire reactions are:
1) trying to call someone on their BS with aggression, it will backfire as you look like the guilty party. You pretty much look like a dick once you initiate aggression to attempt to resolve difference in opinion.
2) trying to change into what you think the person will like, again, this will backfire as 'fire' in the element that it is cannot be contained in a neat little predictable container. It is similar to trying to contain water or air signs, sooner all later, they will have to start moving again.
Basically, any sign air, water, fire, earth, has to want to change for themselves, not for anyone else, that's when it will stick, then they go seek help. Whatever help they get will bring them back to the reason they wanted the change.
If you try to change because someone else is asking you to or chipping away at you, then the change won't stick, when you want to burst free, you will start hating the person.
Okay, I'm going away now.
Posted by DoubleGem2
Aries can also sense when they are being manipulated
I agree with this, but the main 2 fire reactions are:
1) trying to call someone on their BS with aggression, it will backfire as you look like the guilty party. You pretty much look like a dick once you initiate aggression to attempt to resolve difference in opinion.
2) trying to change into what you think the person will like, again, this will backfire as 'fire' in the element that it is cannot be contained in a neat little predictable container. It is similar to trying to contain water or air signs, sooner all later, they will have to start moving again.
Basically, any sign air, water, fire, earth, has to want to change for themselves, not for anyone else, that's when it will stick, then they go seek help. Whatever help they get will bring them back to the reason they wanted the change.
If you try to change because someone else is asking you to or chipping away at you, then the change won't stick, when you want to burst free, you will start hating the person.
Okay, I'm going away now.
yea, Aries fire blazing distracted state doesn't always allow for mastery of skills such as making the perfect tea 😛
my teas are yucky too...always forget it so it gets too cold or I leave the bag in for too long or not for long enough.
Don't get me started on my coffee!
The aries thing you talk of is so effffffing annoying lol.....just shows how self absorbed you are being really. Cos i am the opposite and naturally think of others first, it makes me want to commit MURDER!!!!!!
try and stay calm babe, so we can think of the best ways for you to commit murder.
Don't forget, in the air plane, they always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Cos i am the opposite and naturally think of others first
^^ this statement always makes me lol when I hear people say it
my teas are yucky too...always forget it so it gets too cold or I leave the bag in for too long or not for long enough.
Don't get me started on my coffee!
The aries thing you talk of is so effffffing annoying lol.....just shows how self absorbed you are being really. Cos i am the opposite and naturally think of others first, it makes me want to commit MURDER!!!!!!
try and stay calm babe, so we can think of the best ways for you to commit murder.
Don't forget, in the air plane, they always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Cos i am the opposite and naturally think of others first
^^ this statement always makes me lol when I hear people say it
Posted by starlover
why does it make you laugh? what is funny about thinking of other human beings first—?
Nope, that's not the funny part; the funny part is when I hear people say it about themselves. That's why I used the air analogy by the way.
I'm usually very impatient, but I can be extremely patient, too. Though that only happens when I'm determined about something.
I'd say, try to exercise extreme self-control and discipline for a period of time. I'm sure your ability to control yourself should increase, and controlling yourself will be a lot easier and it will also come more naturally.
Posted by MzAriesLady
No really!!!
I know this and i try to curve it, but I get stuck sometimes. I do good for a few weeks, and then it's to me,
And how you ish affects me
And how if I was u I wud not do x y and z cuz it affected me....
Can Aries ever see the bigger picture, my Pisces tries to ground me, but I can't help but feel, he is being a jerk😢
Ugh!!!!!!
some people need to effort than others
I have seen enough.
Don't ever let someone think you are being "too selfish" etc.
This is our time for us to grow, and believe it or not for our ego to grow, so that we become more of who we are. Ego's aren't a bad thing, everyone has one, it is just ours aren't secret daggers to hurt others with. Our ego is readily noticed by others because we are honest.
You know what my "nice" and "sincere" and "sweet" and "loving" ex did? Wouldn't once help me when I needed somebody, never once said I love you, just because they wanted to, and at the end made it out like everything was my fault for everything, because I guess taking care of us for the whole time we were together wasn't enough, me working extra hours so they didn't have to was the worst sin ever, and though they had a horrible sleeping disorder that meant I only got to hang out with an un-exhausted love of my life when they wanted to, while I stood over them and made sure they were okay, and eating properly and even stood up all night day after day wondering if they were okay. But no, we get called self-centered, selfish, forgetful of others etc.
I am sure your boyfriend or girlfriend got you tricked well, into thinking you are the problem. Remember that time when you ...., don't forget to get me my soda, you forgot it last time ... And from what I recall of Pisces, blaming their lovers, they tend to make it out like you are what is wrong when in fact they have a lot of horrible things to answer to.
If I see one more Aries get shit on I am going to flip ; )
Aries you are beautiful loving caring creatures. For the past several years nothing has been going your way, this year things are looking up for us, and it is no time to let others keep us down. Yes we want somebody to love in our life, yes we sometimes feel we can't see a point living a life alone, but at least have it in you to be proud of the love you do have for others instead of feeling guilty we "aren't doing enough."
I am just sick of all of the other finger-pointing people in this world this week. If I have to, I will live as a hermit just to escape the scapegoating of people. UGHGHGHGH.
Don't ever let someone think you are being "too selfish" etc.
This is our time for us to grow, and believe it or not for our ego to grow, so that we become more of who we are. Ego's aren't a bad thing, everyone has one, it is just ours aren't secret daggers to hurt others with. Our ego is readily noticed by others because we are honest.
You know what my "nice" and "sincere" and "sweet" and "loving" ex did? Wouldn't once help me when I needed somebody, never once said I love you, just because they wanted to, and at the end made it out like everything was my fault for everything, because I guess taking care of us for the whole time we were together wasn't enough, me working extra hours so they didn't have to was the worst sin ever, and though they had a horrible sleeping disorder that meant I only got to hang out with an un-exhausted love of my life when they wanted to, while I stood over them and made sure they were okay, and eating properly and even stood up all night day after day wondering if they were okay. But no, we get called self-centered, selfish, forgetful of others etc.
I am sure your boyfriend or girlfriend got you tricked well, into thinking you are the problem. Remember that time when you ...., don't forget to get me my soda, you forgot it last time ... And from what I recall of Pisces, blaming their lovers, they tend to make it out like you are what is wrong when in fact they have a lot of horrible things to answer to.
If I see one more Aries get shit on I am going to flip ; )
Aries you are beautiful loving caring creatures. For the past several years nothing has been going your way, this year things are looking up for us, and it is no time to let others keep us down. Yes we want somebody to love in our life, yes we sometimes feel we can't see a point living a life alone, but at least have it in you to be proud of the love you do have for others instead of feeling guilty we "aren't doing enough."
I am just sick of all of the other finger-pointing people in this world this week. If I have to, I will live as a hermit just to escape the scapegoating of people. UGHGHGHGH.
Also, though it may never seem like it will happen, Aries need to find better circles of people to be around. We can endure just about any crowd, and put up with just about anybody's shit. It becomes a norm for them to have people in their life that give them awkward stares because they spoke up, or asked someone to move kindly out of the way etc. But we too can surround ourselves with loving people.
I just got a new job where everyone actually works hard and we have fun while doing it! Go figure! It amazes me more companies don't make that mandatory. I love it, we all love it, and we get so much done, and I enjoy coming to work and even staying when need be.
YES! We know! We make sure to grab one for ourself too! YOU SHOULD TOO! If I asked you to go grab peanuts from the flight attendant and you wanted some too, but only got some for me, WTF! Don't blame me that we are sharing 1 bag, when you coulda grabbed 2 bags! Oh well, I can deal with the situation, sorry you can't because you would rather we fix every god damn thing in this world before you dare try yourself.
Whatever, everyone just enjoy life please, and live it to the fullest, it is a great gift, why argue over it constantly, unless for fun ; )
I just got a new job where everyone actually works hard and we have fun while doing it! Go figure! It amazes me more companies don't make that mandatory. I love it, we all love it, and we get so much done, and I enjoy coming to work and even staying when need be.
YES! We know! We make sure to grab one for ourself too! YOU SHOULD TOO! If I asked you to go grab peanuts from the flight attendant and you wanted some too, but only got some for me, WTF! Don't blame me that we are sharing 1 bag, when you coulda grabbed 2 bags! Oh well, I can deal with the situation, sorry you can't because you would rather we fix every god damn thing in this world before you dare try yourself.
Whatever, everyone just enjoy life please, and live it to the fullest, it is a great gift, why argue over it constantly, unless for fun ; )
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Can Aries ever see the bigger picture, my Pisces tries to ground me, but I can't help but feel, he is being a jerk😢
Ugh!!!!!!