Preconceived Astropinions

I have judged someone's action mostly based on their Sun sign and also acted according to it. It's been one of the reasons why, I wanted to step back from the astro world for a bit, so I could start seeing people as who they are, rather than just their Sun sign. I didn't want to lose my people reading abilities, developing severe biases.

I remember going on a few dates with a Sagittarius and knowing that, I didn't give it a fair chance in developing; I'm a Scorpio but we hit it off pretty well. It was surprising to me, we enjoyed each other's company pretty well but our nature is so different, she was full of life and so beautiful with it.

What turned me off, would have been a turn off coming from anyone but the fact that she was a Sagittarius, I called it quit right away, when I think that she really appreciated me, at least based on what she told me. Looking back I think that if she was another sun sign, I would have reacted differently.

I asked her why she wasn't in touch more often and she said that she needed time to figure out what the relationship was becoming and what she wanted. immediately said that it's best that we leave it where it is and move on with our lives but she still wanted to keep seeing me but the doors where already shut and locks on. At this point, it was, what it was.

I think that if a let's say Capricorn would have said the exact same thing, I would have gave it more consideration knowing that it's probably more in their nature and in all honesty, I'm probably more accepting of the Capricorn personality.

I wonder if any of you had such a preconceived opinion about someone's Sun sign; that it got you to react mostly according to it?

Im pretty sure mostly everyone on this site is guilty of it, to some degree.



Interesting what you said about losing your ability to read ppl bc of this bias. Exactly why I try not to put too much emphasis on sign. Now that I know about astro more in depth, of course its going to play a role forever, but its best to appreciate it for what its worth, and nothing more.


I'll ask their sign, but I won't run home and pull their chart. I use it as way of better understanding, while keeping in mind that we are individuals before anything else. Thats what astro obsessed people seem to lose sight of.

Posted by MsPisces.
Im pretty sure mostly everyone on this site is guilty of it, to some degree.



Interesting what you said about losing your ability to read ppl bc of this bias. Exactly why I try not to put too much emphasis on sign. Now that I know about astro more in depth, of course its going to play a role forever, but its best to appreciate it for what its worth, and nothing more.


I'll ask their sign, but I won't run home and pull their chart. I use it as way of better understanding, while keeping in mind that we are individuals before anything else. Thats what astro obsessed people seem to lose sight of.

Hey MsPisces, great seeing you! It's very true, it's best to appreciate it best for just what it is, when you put too much significance on astro it blinds you from seeing what they have. I don't go and run people's chart right away anymore too.

Well, it's best to appreciate it for what it is ... I meant 😉

The way you put it sounds good too 🙂


But yea, it is hard to realize someone is say, a Capricorn, and not automatically like them just because. I have a harder time not pre judging signs I like, then those I don't.

* more so than

I see, well the issue with me is that I'm mostly attracted to people that are attracted to me, my desires are directly linked to my ego. So their attraction to me is what makes them attractive. The prejudging begins when I am assessing a future with that person's potential as a life partner, then I bring up the sign to evaluate that. I don't find all Capricorns attractive because not all of them are attracted to me but if I do, I'll start seeing them as potential and then bring up the sign.

So I can actually date any sign but won't give all signs the same shot at building a relationship (well if I keep these biases)

Really? Interesting.

Most are the opposite... attracted to the unattainable. I would have thought attraction being linked to ones ego, would them like that, as well. Liking someone who doesn't like you as much, as a challenge for the ego.

I may be looking at the term ego the wrong way. As I am not attracted by a challenge at all, I actually find it quite unattractive, I'm really not a chaser. I'm attracted by how their nature feeds mine, so it's more a possession thing, which is why I mentioned ego. Once they show to be unavailable, I become less and less attracted.

Posted by Jynja

Posted by Rays Heart
So I can actually date any sign but won't give all signs the same shot at building a relationship (well if I keep these biases)

I've 'killed' my current relationship in my mind because of our sun signs. Perhaps, for women, it helps to build some stamina against a sudden rejection, so I use astro in that regard. The funny thing is, barring a few issues, we could make a pretty cool couple. But if he calls it quits now, I'll take a bow, thank him for the good times and chalk it to astrological incompatibility.

I need to step away a little, too.

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I can relate to that and the mind is a powerful thing. Once made up, the body follows.

-Sits on top of the rooms roof and looks down at everybody-

"As I am not attracted by a challenge at all"

Stop lyin, Ray! 😛 That would make you super human.



But yea, I feel ya. I can say one thing, this site helps to keep me in check. I see how crazy some can get with the astro stuff, and it reminds me not to get too carried away.

Posted by Jynja

Posted by Rays Heart
So I can actually date any sign but won't give all signs the same shot at building a relationship (well if I keep these biases)

I've 'killed' my current relationship in my mind because of our sun signs. Perhaps, for women, it helps to build some stamina against a sudden rejection, so I use astro in that regard. The funny thing is, barring a few issues, we could make a pretty cool couple. But if he calls it quits now, I'll take a bow, thank him for the good times and chalk it to astrological incompatibility.

I need to step away a little, too.

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lol! So the stars say you're incompatible, and it makes taking the L a lot easier?!

Nice! :p

lol @ super human ... maybe I could like a challenge in personality but not in unavailability. I've only attracted so far, never had to chase. The site can definitely serve as a reminder, if you know more about your partner's conjunctions than what they do for a living, it's a problem.

"if you know more about your partner's conjunctions than what they do for a living, it's a problem."


lol Or more importantly, you place more significance on the former.

Posted by Jynja
Yes, I think it will, if it comes to that.
I do like that the challenges we face brings about some evolution in myself and that the transformation helps me to be refined - if my trails come by fire.

Speaking of preconcieved astro-notions: I turned an Aquarius, fit for a job I'm advertising, away immediately I saw his profile. But this is not based on astrology but on life experiences constantly meeting cruel Aquas. Astrology claims aquas make a great match with my sun sign, but I'm convinced astro is wrong in that generalization.

Which is why I secretly hope astro is wrong about my partner and I or will at least make us the exception. If it's still impossible, though - it was fun while it lasted.

Wow, I think sun sign only based predictions can not be accurate but if you look deeper into your chart, you might find the reason why you've met all these cruel Aquas.

Posted by Theultra79
like jynja, my preconceived astro-notions come from past experiences with certain signs. I'm pretty optimistic that any sign can be happy with any other sign. But, I have pretty much sworn off scorps and sags as partners because of negative relationships/experiences. A sag would have a small possibility but he'd have no room for error.

A scorp? I'm way too emotionally fragile to handle it. First and last scorp bf had me living with him within 4 mos. The last two weeks of our relationship, food was passing thru my body undigested. I lost 10 lbs in two weeks. It was a horror movie, except it was my life. Damn! You guys are something else. I mean REALLY! Lol

lol @ "food was passing thru my body undigested."

Most people first get into astrology to address relationship potential and that can be the first step to building these notions.

Posted by PurrrrHissss
Yes, I'm guilty of this. I don't like it, and it makes me wish I had never gotten into astrology at times.

same here, sometimes. once your mind has been stretched, it can never go back to its original size.

Posted by MsPisces.
"if you know more about your partner's conjunctions than what they do for a living, it's a problem."


lol Or more importantly, you place more significance on the former.

Yeah!

"once your mind has been stretched, it can never go back to its original size."


mm.

So who did you meet that this coming up?



What sign is she? 😉

Yeah I kind of use it as reasoning...

Like when someone is a total douchebag and irritates me by merely breathing...and it turns out they are a Gemini I'm like oh NO WONDER. 🙂

"So who did you meet that this coming up?"

Sagittarius


"Like when someone is a total douchebag and irritates me by merely breathing...and it turns out they are a Gemini I'm like oh NO WONDER."

lol ... it's actually an other sign that I have some preconceived notions about.

i dont fault you at all. im sure if she read up on scorps, shes be heading for the hills. i feel the same way with gemini moons or venus in mutable signs...why even bother aggravating myself?

Posted by DMV
i dont fault you at all. im sure if she read up on scorps, shes be heading for the hills. i feel the same way with gemini moons or venus in mutable signs...why even bother aggravating myself?

haha ... she probably did, I know she's into astrology just don't know how deep. She seemed happy uncommitted. Are your opinions from experience or from reading?

Posted by Rays Heart

Posted by DMV
i dont fault you at all. im sure if she read up on scorps, shes be heading for the hills. i feel the same way with gemini moons or venus in mutable signs...why even bother aggravating myself?

haha ... she probably did, I know she's into astrology just don't know how deep. She seemed happy uncommitted. Are your opinions from experience or from reading?

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both. reading others horror stories and my own drama. she probably went on the date because she was slightly curious, we like a good mystery.

i met a gemini with a venus in cancer, tooo damn clingy. then i met a gemini with a venus in gemini, this dude just seemed like he was talking to multiple women.

i tried with a gemini mooner and our emotional nature was soooo different, we just couldnt exist.

Interesting, it could have been that when you think about it, she could have used me as a lab experiment and reported the findings. Didn't know you were Sagittarius. "taking notes" 😉

Gemini because his ultimate ambition is to father children as God directed.

lol say what now

Posted by Rays Heart
Interesting, it could have been that when you think about it, she could have used me as a lab experiment and reported the findings. Didn't know you were Sagittarius. "taking notes" 😉

yup seem my bow & arrow 🙂

unless her heart has been completely torn up by a scorpio, she can still be optimistic.

@ Jynja: You're killing me seriously lol ... I'd like to believe that you're the only one hiring that way but I'm afraid that you aren't.

@ DMV: Well, she told me that she didn't believe in "Good Men" anymore, she didn't think she'd meet one, so she wasn't too optimistic about relationships but had a rather joyful personality.

I see, have you had any deception in that sense?

Posted by TasteOfChaosss

Posted by brianafay
Yeah I kind of use it as reasoning...

Like when someone is a total douchebag and irritates me by merely breathing...and it turns out they are a Gemini I'm like oh NO WONDER. 🙂

hahaha, yeh same.

but usually with virgos.

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Understandable they suck extremely long crooked penises with flashing arrows just to show them the direction there head should bounce. -.-

I meant prospective employees, you seem to do it in good heart and not blindly too, so hopefully it works for the better. Astrology can actually serve quite well when it's used properly, I asked because I know how expectations are linked to disappointments, as long as you don't bet too much on the assessment it's good.

i do this. yes, absolutely. i try to keep astrology and peoples' signs in mind as a guide and only a guide to their instinctive character.

the world is as diverse as you view it to be. i allow a human connection first and wonder about signs later. surprisingly i cant stand labeling. because not every individual of the entire worlds population is going to fit into one of twelve different shaped containers. if we did... they best terraform mars now, because screw earth. it'd be a boring place.

however i do know what i like! i have a few adjectives of what i'm attracted to in a partner or friend... and i've been attracted to those qualities in people of several different signs. im sure part of it is just who they are, and i dont doubt at all that another part is the characteristics of their signs.

Good, I like the idea of really using it as a guide, it's definitely an healthier approach. What I got reading the comments, if there's something I'd do differently is to look deeper into the chart, see if there is any relationship potential there, instead of just disregard them based on sun sign only.

I still initially use a natural human connection at first meet, as I don't see myself being with someone I don't have basic attraction to but as soon as it's set, I'd probably look deeper into the chart trying to understand the individual better, in an attempt to improve the over all connection.

we all do this if we first get into astrology. we find out first the person's sun, then just the SURFACE of everything. Nothing deep, nothing like a surgeon's knife. Because it's virtually impossible to know, understand a person's life, and what motivated him/her. Their suspicions grow and grow like a virus and a cancer and there's no healing, the hate will grow and grow and there's nothing left but an empty soul. Even if we don't get along with someone, or understand them, or why they the things they do, it's not important in the bigger scale of things is it? what you're dealing with personally is your soul's journey. And it's all nice and pretty on paper, but to put in practice is a different matter.

Indeed, every individual is unique as the connection you have with them. Every interaction can be fruitful if you choose to make it so. I wholeheartedly agree that the soul journey is the most important and I think as long as you're honest about your belief in astrology (as any other vices one may have), you can proceed to not let it take over your better judgement.

Posted by Rays Heart
Indeed, every individual is unique as the connection you have with them. Every interaction can be fruitful if you choose to make it so. I wholeheartedly agree that the soul journey is the most important and I think as long as you're honest about your belief in astrology (as any other vices one may have), you can proceed to not let it take over your better judgement.

astrology is good to help understand many things but..there are still way too many 'holes' too many things unexplained and which doesn't 'fit', that part is the 'deep' part that we can't seem to know. Like trying to open the doorway to the other side, a place you're not supposed to go to.

@ Size: Exactly!

@ lisa: The little I got from astrology is that it mostly describe a personality but not how you'll go about using them and what you've actually done in the world and that has a lot to do with you have become. It's important to know who that person has become because it's who you'll have to grow with.

Posted by Rays Heart
@ Size: Exactly!

@ lisa: The little I got from astrology is that it mostly describe a personality but not how you'll go about using them and what you've actually done in the world and that has a lot to do with you have become. It's important to know who that person has become because it's who you'll have to grow with.

🙂 those are wise words. thanks.

You're welcome, thanks for your input!

Posted by Jynja

Posted by Rays Heart
You're welcome, thanks for your input!

Have I said how lovely it is to read the proper word, 'You're' in place of it's more modern but sad replacement, 'Your' today? Thanks for making my evening quite nice. 🙂

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too funny ... had a look at your profile; nice chart you're wearing 😉

I am a Virgo (obviously) and my ex (and mother to our son) is a Sag (our son is a Sag as well). As you might imagine it has not been an easy relationship, but not because of Virgo/Sag stereotypes. If we were stereotypes then I would be uptight and undersexed and she would be sex-mad and irresponsible with money, but if anything there has been a role-reversal going on with us - in particular I am sorry to say that I actually find her to be quite a mean-spirited person, and rather scornful of other people in general, including me. When I met her I suppose I was expecting her to be a stereotypical Sag, but perhaps the main Sag characteristic she has is that she is not marriage-minded, and in a negative way rather scornful of others as I said.

@ Virgo: Okay but see the stereotype in my mind for Sag is is that they're mean spirited because I've met many that were. I've actually seen Virgo and Sag couples go on for a bit, I don't know any that actually works out though. Personal experience seem to add to the expectation as well.

@ Jynja: You're welcome, I'm just a bit familiar with your chart. My ex had a similar chart, then again, it's not to say that you'd be the same 😉

Virgo- Beyonce
Sag- Jay-Z

I actually met a very very sweet Sag the other day. I found out he was a Sag and I was so perplexed! But I looked up his chart and he had a Virgo Moon, Scorpio Venus and Virgo Mars.

Figures 😉

@ Rose: Yeah, Jay and Beyonce seems to be one good example, they've been together for awhile. The Virgo influence on the one you've pulled up, has to do with the way he appeared to you. I try not to get into pulling a chart every time I just meet someone but once a vision of the future settles in my mind, yes!

But there's so many other elements to one's chart. You might really feel a mental connection due to compatible mercury placements. Or you might be really in tune with each other on a more sexual level because you both have fire Venus signs?

Posted by RoseTheTaurus
Virgo- Beyonce
Sag- Jay-Z

I actually met a very very sweet Sag the other day. I found out he was a Sag and I was so perplexed! But I looked up his chart and he had a Virgo Moon, Scorpio Venus and Virgo Mars.

Figures 😉

Exactly.


Although Jay Z and Beyonce have wildly different charts. How does B's intense Scorpio moon deal with Jay's flaky Libra Moon?

@ Jynja: Oh my!!! smh ... Yes I parted on good terms, it was tougher on her, she didn't scare me at all haha, it was more about timing, I think we'd still be together if we had met earlier in life but we developed ways for ourselves that are hard to change being fixed as we are. I am a Scorpio Rising, Sun, Mars and Venus, so my energy can easily be overwhelming to a lighthearted partner and what I can tell you though, is that she was definitely a good match in that sense. She enjoyed the attention I was giving her and vice versa, she was actually looking forward to it.

@ AA: Well if you separate their moons like that, there maybe no compatibility but when you put each moon in its context, its a different story.