Quotes According To Sign..

"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - Libra

"Practical politics consists in ignoring facts." - Pisces

"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on." - Leo

"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Taurus

"I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk" - Virgo

"Death is an acquired trait." - Scorpio

"Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife." - Aquarius

"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there."
- Cancer

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are." - Gemini

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading." - Capricorns

"If you're going to America, bring your own food." - Aries

"I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch." - Sag-I Can't Spell The Rest.