Cancer got mad at me... why?

Hey guys! So here's what's up. I've got a bit of a flirtationship going with this Cancer guy in my friend group. But, I'm not pursuing it fully because I've just got a lot of other things going on, but I am interested. Nothing has been spoken between us but there are the tell tale signs of flirting; possessiveness when we are out etc. The other day I thought we were going out as a group but I got the sneaking suspicion we had been set up on a double date. I think we were both caught off guard so we were both a bit awkward (very unusual vibe between us). Later, I was being playful and asked for his check, and he suddenly SNAPPED at me. He said "I can do it for myself, I don't need you to do it for me!" ... I really didn't know where the anger came from. I apologized sincerely and told him my intention wasnt to step on his toes. Then I turned and talked to another friend because I could feel myself getting mad that I had been snapped at in public.
So here is my question; what did I do? Was it the actual check thing? Was it the awkward vibe + the check thing?

Secondly,
A little while later I noticed he had disappeared with the girl who I thought was "setting us up", when they came back I heard him yell at her to "stop playing match maker!" (such a crazy thing to hear, especially along with my suspicion). So I get into a convo with them and he begins to tell me about some girl he wants to pursue and all the things he likes about her that are SO different than me (eye roll). I told him he should totally pursue her and she seemed lovely. But I have a suspicion this was all an attempt to make me jealous. Ultimately, as soon as I told him how great he was and that she would be an idiot to turn him down, he turned into his old loving self; Affectionate, attentive, touchy-feely etc.
I'd love some insight on this too. I think I heard this is a classic Cancer move, to try and make you jealous when they are feeling insecure. Is it?

I'm used to my Leo's and Taurus's. The only Cancer's in my life have been girlfriends and those all imploded after some years. So any insight on Cancer men would be great.

It sounds like his 'snapping' was a classic cancer moment. They are notorious for their mood swings.

However, I can't advice that he wanted to make you jealous or likes you in that way. It sounds like he might be interested in someone else and/or not interested in pursuing you.

When you say check, what do u mean?
At first glance I'd say uve just been reading the wrong signals. Maybe ur friends have put ideas into ur head that he fancies you nd uve fallen for it.
Why else would he moan to ur friend about matchmaking. It's no excuse to have a go at u tho.
Some cancers are very mixed up people. I sometimes can be very difficult to understand. Sounds like u really like the guy tho.
My advice just keep a distance, don't get too involved just yet. If he's saying he likes this girl in front of u then he may genuinely not like u in a romantic way.
Either that or he's a player nd no girl has time for one of them.
I'm sure ul get more advice shortly. Good luck.

^^ Agreed

I mean the check at a bar. (And that is actually a fight I've had with 2 seperate Cancer girl's before). I ask for their check and they snap... which to me is just so weird, I don't see what is upsetting about your friend trying to get your check from the bartender for you, not pay it, just asking for it to be brought over. It's efficient, I'm getting mine, I'll ask for yours too.

Ultimately, whether I give this guy my time or not, if he is gonna fly off the handle at stupid ish, it's not the situation for me. But, I do want to understand the thought process... I'd be up for changing my opinion on my behavior if a Cancer could justify it. You know?

I get so pissed off when friends would set me up with people they are trying to match me up with. Let that happen naturally meddlesome goober smoochers!

He probably was annoyed with the awkward situation of being put on the spot. He also might think you were part of the hustle and now thinks you're 12.

And we like to pay for our own. We're not bums. It can also come off as condescending. I don't know we usually discuss it while we're planning where to meet. I never fight with my ram homies. We get along great.

Posted by ram_girl
I mean the check at a bar. (And that is actually a fight I've had with 2 seperate Cancer girl's before). I ask for their check and they snap... which to me is just so weird, I don't see what is upsetting about your friend trying to get your check from the bartender for you, not pay it, just asking for it to be brought over. It's efficient, I'm getting mine, I'll ask for yours too.

Ultimately, whether I give this guy my time or not, if he is gonna fly off the handle at stupid ish, it's not the situation for me. But, I do want to understand the thought process... I'd be up for changing my opinion on my behavior if a Cancer could justify it. You know?

Oh didn't see this. Like really snap? Well that's over board. No reason to snap over someone being generous. That's not my thing at all.


Give the guy time to get over the douche chills of the meddling acquaintances and hopefully he'll be cool again otherwise nah uh! We don't have time for fussing nit pickers.

Posted by kissmygrits
I get so pissed off when friends would set me up with people they are trying to match me up with. Let that happen naturally meddlesome goober smoochers!

He probably was annoyed with the awkward situation of being put on the spot. He also might think you were part of the hustle and now thinks you're 12.

Interesting! I didn't even think of this! If he thought I was in on it, that definitely would be weird.
I hope not.

Ya, about the check, that was the impression I got when he got mad. That he felt it was condescending or that I thought he was incapable of asking for it himself. Which to me, couldn't have been further from what I was trying to do.
Can I ask you? When it comes to dates etc, are Cancer men the kind that prefer to pay the whole thing? or split the bill? Maybe he thought I was trying to pay it?

Yeah he was already embarrassed from the love intervention (lol) so he was being a twat.

I apologize for us crabs. We're freaking weirdos and don't know how to act when we're caught off guard. You seem lovely.

Most cancer guys like paying the bill on a date. But that wasn't a date so he wanted to pay his share.

#1 He is not interested in you and he was pissed the chick had you under the impression that he would be romantically interested in you. That put him in a very awkward situation and Cancer's do not like being put on the spot. Cancer's like to decide who we like for ourselves and our interest can depend on a lot of things, something no one else would be able to know.

#2 A Cancer man doesn't want a woman paying anything for him and to offer is not a compliment, its viewed as being weak and Cancers are very adamant about being able to stand on their own.

#3 A Cancer talking about another woman to a woman that's interested in him is the kiss of death. It's the fastest way for us to let you know we're not interested in you. His reaction after you said what you said doesn't have anything to do with him being insecure. He was happy you didn't get upset when he brought up the other woman as to him that lets him know you are cool with the fact that he isn't into you romantically.

#4 MOVE ON!

Posted by kissmygrits
I get so pissed off when friends would set me up with people they are trying to match me up with. Let that happen naturally meddlesome goober smoochers!

He probably was annoyed with the awkward situation of being put on the spot. He also might think you were part of the hustle and now thinks you're 12.

And we like to pay for our own. We're not bums. It can also come off as condescending. I don't know we usually discuss it while we're planning where to meet. I never fight with my ram homies. We get along great.

Cancers love that word - condescending. I think 95% of anything that insults them is lumped into that category; eventhough we regular folk have no idea how the items are labeled that go in there! It's wild!!

Posted by kissmygrits
Yeah he was already embarrassed from the love intervention (lol) so he was being a twat.

I apologize for us crabs. We're freaking weirdos and don't know how to act when we're caught off guard. You seem lovely.

Damn, crabs are the cutest! Lol

And here's how you know that all Cancer's are different:

My Cancer friend (we're in a weird relationship) brought up girls he met on a dating site, which prompted a cute witty response from me about 'just be with me, they're a mess' kind of thing. Well, it turns out that was his way of seeing if I had been on any dating sites; and then he copped to only having met them last year ('14) and he hadn't met or been with any girls since he met me. So that was him trying to make me jealous, and seeing if I was interested in anyone else, and seeing my level of interest in him.

Also, out one night, he met me and I ordered a drink, asked if he wanted one, and then paid for both. He was embarrassed when he saw the tab because we were at a very expensive place and I could tell he would have paid had he known his on-the-rocks was going to be $ 20. Another time he waited for me to offer to pay for my own drink, and then paid for me. He wanted to see how I was playing it, I guess. So.

Also, they really do like to go at their own pace. He may have been chewing out your mutual friend because he wants to do things at his own pace and doesn't want to be rushed into anything he personally is not ready for. It may not have meant he wasn't interested in you, it may have just meant he doesn't want anyone else facilitating your relationship. Some Crabs can be S-L-O-WWWWW moving.

I think you may have to ask him out to see where you stand.

Maybe it's our baby faces or that we look like we just finished crying in the bathroom. People think we're weak and poor and can't handle things. I try to give the benefit of the doubt though. But if you start explaining what a tip is I'm going to change the subject to a random story of being tipped with a diaper from a girl I went to high shool with and where's the next stop. 😄

Posted by Cancer Lady
#1 He is not interested in you and he was pissed the chick had you under the impression that he would be romantically interested in you. That put him in a very awkward situation and Cancer's do not like being put on the spot. Cancer's like to decide who we like for ourselves and our interest can depend on a lot of things, something no one else would be able to know.

#2 A Cancer man doesn't want a woman paying anything for him and to offer is not a compliment, its viewed as being weak and Cancers are very adamant about being able to stand on their own.

#3 A Cancer talking about another woman to a woman that's interested in him is the kiss of death. It's the fastest way for us to let you know we're not interested in you. His reaction after you said what you said doesn't have anything to do with him being insecure. He was happy you didn't get upset when he brought up the other woman as to him that lets him know you are cool with the fact that he isn't into you romantically.

#4 MOVE ON!

I just want to clarify. The girl did not give me any impression he would be romantically interested in me. That interest has only been expressed by his actions. If anything, he and her are very close, if she has been given any impressions they would be from him. But you are right, it was an incredibly awkward situation.
Secondly, as I said, it was NOT me trying to pay for him, only me asking for his check to be brought by the bartender. Along with other checks for the table. I don't know if that means the same thing to you Cancers, but if you think it does, then that is just something for me to hear out.
Thirdly, just because we flirt doesnt mean that I need to be okay or not okay with who he wants to date. So, I'm confused by this advice, because you are saying that he cares enough about whether or not I like him to want me to be okay with him dating someone else. Which, is weird to me. We are friends who flirt, not dating. Is it Cancerian by nature to make a flirtationship into something bigger than it is?
And on that note, telling me to "move on" just makes me feel like you are over estimating my feelings. I just want to understand why someone who ive been having a casual, nice time with would yell at me in public and then bring up another woman which is something that hasnt happened in the 6 months I've known him, which in turn seemed quite petty considering he had just snapped at me.

Posted by ram_girl
I've got a bit of a flirtationship going with this Cancer guy in my friend group.

A little while later I noticed he had disappeared with the girl who I thought was "setting us up", when they came back I heard him yell at her to "stop playing match maker".

What even is a flirtationship? That isn't a thing. It's an oxymoron.

Flirting is the epitome of non commitment. While a -ship (relationship/friendship/partnership) implies an understanding or agreement between people.

Just because you two are being flirty with each other don't mean shit. He may like getting the attention from you but he's obviously not looking to pursue anything further. Look how he reacted to the set up date between the two of you...

Yes, I know, that is exactly how I described the situation in the post directly above yours.

She's trying to understand what set him off to little bitch mode. I actually think he was still recovering from his friend's ambush and was testy. He might have realized he was out of line and went back to friendly to cover up that he misinterpreted your action which was to just bring the check to the front.

Again I do apologize! LOL!

Bottom line is that you like this guy but it's obvious he doesn't want a relationship with you so stop trying to press the issue. That is why he snapped and got upset because it's coming across that you and chick are trying to force him into something with you and I'm not buying you knew nothing about it. If he wanted a relationship with you he would have told you and asked you out he hasn't so he's not into you and the fact that you even started this thread in the first place proves you're reading too much into his behavior with you.

Continue to be his friend if you want but back off with trying to make him romantically interested in you because you're only going to get snapped at again.

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAA.
OH KAY.

That was a very childish reaction. Mature men don't behave like that. IJS
If a person isn't interested, there's no need to be nasty.

If this guy reacts this way over minor stuff, God forbid if something major were to happen.

Posted by kissmygrits
She's trying to understand what set him off to little bitch mode. I actually think he was still recovering from his friend's ambush and was testy. He might have realized he was out of line and went back to friendly to cover up that he misinterpreted your action which was to just bring the check to the front.

Again I do apologize! LOL!

Ya, that is exactly it. Bottom line, just trying to see what caused it.
No need to apologize on behalf of Cancer men, though I'll take it, lol.

I think subconsciously I came on here feeling kind of like my aggressive Ram qualities had got me in trouble and I wanted to hear someone justify what I had done wrong. Aries is often told we are too bold and brash for our own good. But, now I just feel like, my instincts were right, I didn't do anything wrong.
I think i'm just gonna continue in the friend zone and if I notice the temper is a consistent thing then we can't have a friendship and flirt at the same time. I'm not really intrigued by the idea of a relationship right now, specifically this relationship. So. Whatever. lol.