Cancer guy asks me out..then says he's joking!

So there's this new guy at my job, and we get along well. We actually ended up staying almost and hour after closing because we talked to much. We were sitting in his car(he was going to give me a ride home) whe he says "So are you hungry? Wanna go on a dinner date?" Usually after every comment he makes like that he says he's joking so I assumed he was joking and I laughed! Then he goes "Am I really that ugly?"and I said "No but-er...." and kinda changed the subject then days later my sister(who also works at my job) brought up the subject to him, and he told her that he WAS joking. So she told me this when she got home..I acted like I didn't care but secretly I was kinda hurt I guess. Why did he do that? I don't get the joke. He has:
Cancer sun
Cancer moon Leo venus
Gemini mars
Scorp Jupiter
Pisces Saturn

So there's this new guy at my job, and we get along well. We actually ended up staying almost and hour after closing because we talked to much. We were sitting in his car(he was going to give me a ride home) whe he says "So are you hungry? Wanna go on a dinner date?" Usually after every comment he makes like that he says he's joking so I assumed he was joking and I laughed! Then he goes "Am I really that ugly?"and I said "No but-er...." and kinda changed the subject then days later my sister(who also works at my job) brought up the subject to him, and he told her that he WAS joking. So she told me this when she got home..I acted like I didn't care but secretly I was kinda hurt I guess. Why did he do that? I don't get the joke. He has:
Cancer sun
Cancer moon Leo venus
Gemini mars
Scorp Jupiter
Pisces Saturn

Idk, maybe you should talk to him and ask tell him how this affects you. Preferably in person. We don't know what he's thinking. So just talk to him and find out. Plus I be careful about dating people I work with if I was you. You don't want things to be awkward. So just keep things professional ok. He probably was just being friendly

Posted by champranger
You turned him down ...

How? I laughed because he always say "I'm joking", I didn't answer.

To OP: I agree with some other posters that you turned him down and that was his way of playing it off.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by notyourtype

Posted by tiziani
Tell him to man up. That's pathetic behaviour.

Her behavior isn't any better, though.

I'd say he just about beats her to the prize but I see your point.

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I agree with you Tiz about him manning up. Especially, the do you think I'm that ugly comment. Can you blame her for her reaction? I get she giggled, but that should not of made him feel rejected.

So it turns out he thought I was rejecting him because I laughed and I "never flirted" with him. And now he wants to date my sister. Wtf.

I don't find his action mature.. he always added 'it was a joke' after saying something and if I were the op I would be expecting something similar along that line when he said 'want to go out of a dinner?'..the op laughed because she was sort of framed (I'm not sure if this is the really right word..please understand that english is not my first language!) to respond for some time..and if what, she laughed, then the guy could've said 'lol it was not a joke at all - I'm serious - do you want a dinner with me?' ..instead he became passive aggressive, saying 'am I really that ugly?'..which made the op more uncomfortable and be loss at words (if I were the op I would've said 'what are you talking about? you're not ungly at all! you're quite a cutie..!' ..but then I'm very playful when it comes to romance..so I don't and wouldn't say anything bad about how the op reacted there.. I'd guess that the op was caught off guard..because she was expecting the guy was coming with the usual remark 'I was joking!' then he became so serious -but not in the good way- the way the op wasn't prepared at all.. if the guy, being a cancer, and up to the typical cancer's reputation of being good at reading, sensing other people's feelings and vibes..then the more he could've acted better..instead of saying 'am I that ugly?' and making the op really uncomfortable..just my opinion though)
and I understand the part that the guy took it as a rejection (but he should know that he should share some of the responsibility here, of the situation) and tried to play off along as just another joke..(but too late in my eyes, but I'd play along so that the guy could save his face..and I think the op would and was going to do that also, if she is a decent lady)
but now wants to date the op's sister.. that's another level of immaturity.. I can't tell with a very certainty, but to me it seems that the guy took the rejection really hard (even that wasn't a rejection to begin with..) and wrong way and now either 1) trying too hard to prove that he wasn't really interested in the op at all (thus, he's trying to date the op's sister) or 2) he's pissed and sort of trying to pay back the perceived slight from the op by trying to date her sister..
either way, that's immature in my book..
and if I were the op, I would just let him do whatever he wants to do, but just move on.. even if there was some interests between him and me in the beginning, but now it's all gone..

and I strongly detest some guy does this kind of stuff..or a girl, too..playing weird games, passive aggressive.. does it affect me? no.. just makes me want to distance myself from them..

it's possible that the guy really wants to date the op's sister..but I have my doubt here.. especially if this course events happened with a week or less than two weeks of time frame..then well, either he's trying too hard to prove that he was joking to her with the dinner suggestion, or just messing with the op..
and if he does really want to date the op's sister..just after one or two weeks after the perceived rejection, then it means that he wasn't really serious about the op in the beginning - hence the op should not take his actions seriously here, too..
just my two cents/speculations lol

If i was her, I wouldn't worry about him. Too much wishy washy crap. If You don't like his behavior, who says you have to put up with it. Find someone who is more worthy of the love you can offer. Not all Cancers play dumb games like this

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by mgmtlove
So it turns out he thought I was rejecting him because I laughed and I "never flirted" with him. And now he wants to date my sister. Wtf.

Lol you snooze you lose.

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What did I lose exactly? An immature guy? Why are you on my post offering no actual advice? Ugh.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
If i was her, I wouldn't worry about him. Too much wishy washy crap. If You don't like his behavior, who says you have to put up with it. Find someone who is more worthy of the love you can offer. Not all Cancers play dumb games like this

Yeah it kind of annoyed me, then when I asked him about it last night he was answering in roundabout ways. No time,lol

Posted by xxixxi
it's possible that the guy really wants to date the op's sister..but I have my doubt here.. especially if this course events happened with a week or less than two weeks of time frame..then well, either he's trying too hard to prove that he was joking to her with the dinner suggestion, or just messing with the op..
and if he does really want to date the op's sister..just after one or two weeks after the perceived rejection, then it means that he wasn't really serious about the op in the beginning - hence the op should not take his actions seriously here, too..
just my two cents/speculations lol

Thanks for you input I agree with you the most. Plus his best friend told me that he was serious. Oh well!

Posted by mgmtlove

Posted by xxixxi
it's possible that the guy really wants to date the op's sister..but I have my doubt here.. especially if this course events happened with a week or less than two weeks of time frame..then well, either he's trying too hard to prove that he was joking to her with the dinner suggestion, or just messing with the op..
and if he does really want to date the op's sister..just after one or two weeks after the perceived rejection, then it means that he wasn't really serious about the op in the beginning - hence the op should not take his actions seriously here, too..
just my two cents/speculations lol

Thanks for you input I agree with you the most. Plus his best friend told me that he was serious. Oh well!

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yea..my wild guess is that the guy is trying to date your sister to arouse some sort of jealousy of an impending feeling in you that you're going to lose him if you don't make any move.. but.. I find this very childish.. I see that you introduced yourself as 20 years old and that makes me guess that the guy is not as much of a senior to you.. so maybe that could explain his immature behaviour..but still.. you wrote that you asked him about the event last night and he answered in a roundabout way.. he couldn't even be upfront and self assured when you went up to him and asked a question.. in my opinion he needs to grow up before considering dating women.. can't even answer to a direct question..then what would and could you do with him when you two need to talk about something really important?? ..let him play his immature games.. you just go on about your day and be happy 🙂

if he's really opting that rousing jealousy tactic..then it's not really fair on your sister, too.. everyone gets rejected from time to time.. I know it feels sucky but that's life.. you show your character by how you deal with those rejections.. you can deal like an adult, in a mature way.. or just try to play weird games.. which never will win any one over.. (or at least me)

meh! win some you lose some i guess,move along. If not then why ask this question of him. U definitely interested in him. That's the alluring mystery of us cancers i guess.

Posted by ReddmannScorch
meh! win some you lose some i guess,move along. If not then why ask this question of him. U definitely interested in him. That's the alluring mystery of us cancers i guess.

not mystery. he was easy to talk to and seemed cool. yes and I clearly wrote I was interested in him. thanks people who helped

Posted by caster721

Posted by ReddmannScorch
meh! win some you lose some i guess,move along. If not then why ask this question of him. U definitely interested in him. That's the alluring mystery of us cancers i guess.

Similar to what CC said, i wonder why she got all mad with her.... OR wait, i know why? Probably the leo sun crushing with leo moon, mercury and venus. How about that? 😕

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I got annoyed because cc didn't really answer the question. first response was about someone's face being nice and then another one had a lol like my situation was funny. meh.

Don't worry, this scared little crab is just afraid of rejection, and uses humor to grease his way back in to his shell. Give him a chance, and you should be quite impressed. Read up on Cancers, and have a great time.