Cancer man dumped me 4 and halmonths ago. Should I wait for him?

Hi guys, I am totally confused and broke and don't know what to do . So, long story short, my cancer bf dumped me, because I started to give him back his shitty behaviour. And this happened after 2 years of intense relationship. Till then he always went in silent zone whenever we fought and when returned he gave some really narcissistic argument s. Well, I always forgave him. Always. And now on the breakup day he says he is not able to forgive my behaviour(I did what he did to me. Simple. Only for 2.5 months. Whenever we fought I was always up for response on his narcissistic argument s, earlier I never did this. ) so, what is this? I know he was snooping since a long time. But simultaneously he also said he loved me. So, which part should I believe? Him loving me, or him snooping and finally breaking up? Because even after 5 months

**earlier message is continued.

Because even after some five months I am waiting for him. Because it is nearly impossible for me the act of moving on. And somewhere deep in my heart I believe the love part was true side of him and not the snooping one. He blocked all contact tries from my side. What should I do ?

@Op- What kind of behaviors?

*narcissist behaviours. Always blaming me for every fight. And him being the sensitive one. And me being the insensitive one. I mean , come on I am also sensitive. I have feelings too.

Lol what is your moon? and his, mercury? mars?

Oh so he thinks he is all that and a bag of chips. I know narcissistic behavior always me and my point of views, I am always right no matter what, and way too controlling. Always thinking of themselves and does not matter about anything or anyone. That does suck though.

@OP- So has it always been like this and now you are ready for him to change, as well as yourself.. it is always two sides of a relationship..

Well, my moon is Taurus , Mars and Mercury both in Leo. and his moon sign is Virgo.

@Op- So what do you think is right? go with what you mind says not the heart..

@dewiklaessen1991 exactly, that's my point. I am forgiving him for two good years. And he is not able to forgive for my 2.5 months bad behaviour. Which in fact, was all in a responsive manner.
@ firstdeccantaurianwoman. I told him that he has made mistakes. And I have made some. But we should not let these silly childish behaviours ruin our relation. Show some responsibility for the love and relation. And let's start a little responsible behaviour with each other. But he says, no, this is enough for him. And he doesn't want to be with me now.

Okay then there is the answer you need..

Good luck

Yeah, I get your point. It is hard to grasp though. Very hard.

thank you so much all for showing up for me and giving your views.

I wish I could be more uplifting right now that is a bitter situation. Sorry

Once trust is gone there is no relationship..

@dewiklaessen1991 oh yes, patience. True. I never ever imagined that even after somewhat 5 months I would be living in this failure feeling, anger, guilt feelings and still waiting for the guy because he said he loved me. These things can eat people alive. I really wish that I will be able to be like you. You are a strong woman.

Rule of thumb is the weaker in love party should never provoke the stronger party. If you couldn't deal with the break-up or consequences of your actions, then you shouldn't have provoked him by reflecting his shitty behaviour on him.

Well, rather than being a weaker party in a relationship, I would choose to be the weaker person alone. I mean it's a relationship of two person. No weaker party, no stronger party. Just two person. But I am a weak and a broke person and alone now. Yes, if a person is not able to take the shitty things, he shouldn't do it in first place.
My mistake I became the person who accepted the shitty things for a long time in first place. My mistake I didn't stand up for myself a long ago.

You know what, thanks for your post @aquarius09 . It just cleared my head. Seriously. I needed that.

Posted by Leosuntaurasmoon
Well, rather than being a weaker party in a relationship, I would choose to be the weaker person alone. I mean it's a relationship of two person. No weaker party, no stronger party. Just two person. But I am a weak and a broke person and alone now. Yes, if a person is not able to take the shitty things, he shouldn't do it in first place.
My mistake I became the person who accepted the shitty things for a long time in first place. My mistake I didn't stand up for myself a long ago.

You know what, thanks for your post @aquarius09 . It just cleared my head. Seriously. I needed that.

You got the meaning behind my message. I am impressed! Yes, I don't think anyone should tolerate bad behaviour, and if you are, you're only showing the other person that it's okay for them to disrespect you because you didn't respect your own self by allowing his shitty behaviour. There's a lesson in everything. Pay heed and move on. You shouldn't even want this asshole back if he was treating you like shit.

Also remember that some guys become shitty because that's their coward way of wanting to end the relationship. They start to treat you poorly because they want you to break up with them. Perhaps that's what he wanted or for you to give him a reason to break up with you. Nevertheless, one should be strong enough to know how to be alone than be in a relationship that makes them feel alone.

somewhere in between people loose their true selves. And tries to become a version of some one's imagination. that's the root of many problems.

I'm really sorry..that sucks ass....mine was the same full on narcissist, couldn't get him to accept anything..blame blame blame blame...he lied. Went behind my bad with someone else when everything was fine. They have no empathy.

Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you feel like shit? That is not love.

Posted by kissmygrits
Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you feel like shit? That is not love.

How can we know that that this is not love. I mean I have never had any ideal type of person in my head. So I always thought that may be this is his way of behaving like I have my ways. So I forgive people for their behaviours. May be because I never set any boundaries on these things. Oh My god, Am I doing something seriously wrong?

You're making excuses for his shitty behavior. NO! That's not how it works. Seems to me ypu like though. Have fun being a door mat and miserably confused.

What you allow will continue.

Hi, I was reading what earlier person said about being a doormat. And it just clicked the sentence my this ex bf told me while breaking up with me, he said "xxxx, you couldn't stand up for yourself but I can stand up for self. " So, here I was thinking that what he said was right. He was right. He wasn't wrong in breaking up with me. He shouldn't tolerate my bad side. But, then what I did for past many months was foolish. I made a big fool out of myself by tolerating things. So it was totally my fault. May be things would have been different if I would have acted when I was supposed to. But this wisdom is of no use now. 😛

P.s gollum reference made me laugh because I am watching lords of the rings nowadays. 😛
I am familiar with the feeling you are talking about.

Lol he will be back just give him time..trust me I been with my cancer since 2013 he plays that game as soon as he realizes Im not gonna chase him he comes sniffing around like a fukin puppy lol

But don't let him think he can pop in n out of ur life when he wants...cause he won't make a habit of doing it if he knows u don't play those games

Posted by Leosuntaurasmoon
**earlier message is continued.

Because even after some five months I am waiting for him. Because it is nearly impossible for me the act of moving on. And somewhere deep in my heart I believe the love part was true side of him and not the snooping one. He blocked all contact tries from my side. What should I do ?

wow I can so relate!!!! Mine is the same way!!!

Posted by Leosuntaurasmoon
**earlier message is continued.

Because even after some five months I am waiting for him. Because it is nearly impossible for me the act of moving on. And somewhere deep in my heart I believe the love part was true side of him and not the snooping one. He blocked all contact tries from my side. What should I do ?

I was involved with mine 3 years and Friday he blocked me too!!! First time ever!! I feel your pain!!!