Cancer Man Security Issues

Cancer Men, do you all try to secure the feelings and emotions of a woman without letting her know how you feel? Is that your way of making sure you are secure and lessen your chances of getting hurt? I love a cancer man but I keep the depth of my feelings from him because I want more than he can give. He won't let go of the past hurt and pain. He makes me want to love and protect his heart but he keeps it from me. I feel so frustrated sometimes. Especially when I feel he does things to try to get an emotional response from me. It's almost like he is testing my feelings for him. I am taking a break from this situation because I fear I will be the one to get hurt.

How can we move past this phase?

@CaramelizedCoffee I want nothing more than to express myself. When we get close he pulls back. Then he's said he doesn't want a relationship because he doesn't trust anyone and it's hard for him to open up. I told him I understood that and I'm not here to make anyone so what they aren't ready for.

We've been friends a long time but it wasn't until this past year that things shifted. I'm trying to show him there is no rejection over here. I'm not sure it matters if he doesn't trust anyone anyway...

I have no idea what he thinks of me and I know he won't just tell me. It's challenging keeping all this inside because I fear rejection as well.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
That makes sense. Ok forget feelings. Just hang out do activities together

Stop talking deep. About fears and crap

I'm not a crab guy but I'm certain doing activities with someone fosters closeness

CC is right here, that sounds like a good idea for a start.

It can be difficult for you Leo, just hanging out, cause you have developed deeper emotions for him. I have Leo Venus and I know how hard it is if you have to hold back yourself and not being "allowed" to show the full potential of your affection to the desired person cause you might gonna be pushed away cause of it. Sucks, but worth to try. You'll see if it works for you.

He's got serious issues he needs to resolve on his own. Remember, you cant save him from his fears, they are there for him to deal with. Your gut feeling is right, you might get hurt if you'll try to be the ONE who saves him from himself. That never works.

Yes it is hard. I understand having issues to work through. I have been there and done that. I'm going to give him space and let him know I'm still his friend. Meanwhile, I'm going to take this time to get my emotions under control. We have both been through a lot and agreed that we don't want to destroy our friendship. It's hard to stay away though because we have chemistry. I sense that he doesn't want to get too close because of his issues.

My Venus is in Virgo so I have the desire to loudly express myself but that rational Venus that analyzes everything is like: is it logical? What is the endgame? Risk analysis, benefit analysis, all kinds of things get in the way if that lol. In this situation, I'm glad I didn't because I feel it would have ended in my feelings being hurt. My cancer friend is still hurt...and hurt people HURT people. It's hard to love someone and want to give them what they aren't ready for. Timing has always been an issue with us. Neither one of us is with anyone but we aren't at the same place emotionally. There's always been this attraction there but at this time, I'm stepping back.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Cancers hate rejection

You're rejecting him by not expressing your feelings

Just be consistent

Exactly! As a Gemini I can’t keep my shit inside so I told him I liked him immediately and keep telling him that I love his kisses and how great he is and he returning my compliments telling me everything he likes about me.

My adviser told me Cancers love to be praised. And I can see how happy he is that I like him! So OP don’t bottle it up! Spill it!

Posted by LeoLoveGoddess
Yes it is hard. I understand having issues to work through. I have been there and done that. I'm going to give him space and let him know I'm still his friend. Meanwhile, I'm going to take this time to get my emotions under control. We have both been through a lot and agreed that we don't want to destroy our friendship. It's hard to stay away though because we have chemistry. I sense that he doesn't want to get too close because of his issues.

You get your emotions under control after they’ve been under control?

Hmmm

@one day You understand where I am then lol. Sometimes I think forget this but then something happens that makes me stick around. I just don't want to be played with and I feel like he plays games sometimes.

Meanwhile I'm shifting my focus on my life so I'm not just focusing on him. I find that he seems more comfortable when I'm more distant with him which I don't understand...I think he is operating from a place of pain from the past and fear if it repeating itself. I'm not out to hurt or use him...I actually care about him as a person. At the same time I'm not trying to be hurt either.