I love cancers they are my fave sign, most of my freinds are cancer, but i tend to find them quite self destructive? Lindsay lohan for example..
Cancer self destructive
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Not all, I think its when something is missing from their lives and have negative influences. Its also having the will power to get over things.
I remember a point in my life where I was incredible self destructive after my divorce at 23, but it all went back to daddy issues and abuse I experienced as a child.
(i.e. lindsay lohan - daddy issues)
The military helped with changing me really because you have no choice to change. If not you suffer horrible consequences.
Plus I have a Cap moon, so there are parts of me that is really disciplined and focused on work and earthy.
So it depends if the cancer is really self aware of why their acting that way. I had a huge dependency on herbs (mary jane) but bc I have to adhere to random drug test, I cant smoke, which in turn helped my dependency.
But well adjusted cancers like my mom is different, she had both her parents all her life, and have 13 bros and sisters, have a million and 1 friends, grew up in one place. Where I had a very violent childhood, sibiling abuse from bros, my father hit my mom, went to 4 different high schools.
So it depends.
I remember a point in my life where I was incredible self destructive after my divorce at 23, but it all went back to daddy issues and abuse I experienced as a child.
(i.e. lindsay lohan - daddy issues)
The military helped with changing me really because you have no choice to change. If not you suffer horrible consequences.
Plus I have a Cap moon, so there are parts of me that is really disciplined and focused on work and earthy.
So it depends if the cancer is really self aware of why their acting that way. I had a huge dependency on herbs (mary jane) but bc I have to adhere to random drug test, I cant smoke, which in turn helped my dependency.
But well adjusted cancers like my mom is different, she had both her parents all her life, and have 13 bros and sisters, have a million and 1 friends, grew up in one place. Where I had a very violent childhood, sibiling abuse from bros, my father hit my mom, went to 4 different high schools.
So it depends.
the cancer's i know are very self destructive 😢
I'm not self destructive, I'm quite the opposite actually. Could be my raising that affects that or my aries moon but I always seem to maintain control. I have had my moments of mania and I can see how some cancers eventually give in to their emotions and spiral out of control.
rapper 50 cent (cancer) last album was titled "before i self destruct" too,lol..
I was for awhile when I was younger and more unevolved. It's easier to self-destruct when things aren't going right anyway. You feel you have nothing to lose.
Posted by pushitPosted by scorpiokirst
I love cancers they are my fave sign, most of my freinds are cancer, but i tend to find them quite self destructive? Lindsay lohan for example..
Yes. I started to explain the various reasons why, but then realized it was going to take too long, so I deleted it. And nobody wants to read a long paragraph with some Cancer talking about their feelings. But anyway, yes, you're right.click to expand
so funny... cancers and their emotions. so WHY are we self destructive? i know its gonna sound stupid, but to me, its like a self loathing. wanting to be something different, yet im only able to be myself.
While it is true that not ALL Cancers are self-destructive, I can assure you that at least ONE of them is!
My ex-girlfriend, for example, is a very self-destructive person and I sometimes wonder what would motivate her to go down the path of total annihilation.
So here is what happened.
My ex and I were together for four years, three of which were normal, decent years for a couple.
It was the 4th year where things were really ugly. She was disrespectful to my parents right after my Grandpa died, and I told her that it was wrong and she should apologize to them. Instead, she ignored them and never spoke with or visited with them again.
Things got even worse when my friend John, a Scorpio, was struggling with his alcoholism and the fact that his wife left him and took his daughter away from him. As his friend and confidant, I went to his AA meetings with him since obviously his mean and abusive wife wouldn't go with him. While I was spending time with my friend, she started dating this Capricorn sleaze behind my back.
When it was later revealed to me what she had done, she apologized for her behavior and tried to save our relationship. Stupidly, I took her back and tried to resume our relationship. A few months of quasi-normalcy passed by before we had another argument that seemed to overshadow the relationship. She then spent that Christmas kissing that Capricorn sleaze again, and they were engaged 5 months later.
The thing is, her mom, dad and brother tried to stop her from getting into the rebound marriage because they knew how poisonous the whole situation was. Throw in the fact that the Capricorn is a complete psychopath complete with serious anger issues, and you have the recipe for a rebound marriage to a vulture who preys on human emotion.
Not good.
So anyway, she married him anyway, against the advice of her entire family. None of her friends from graduate school attended her wedding because they all knew me, and were most likely shocked that she decided to marry a near perfect stranger so suddenly.
What I do not understand is how such self-destructive behavior can be accepted by an individual as normal?
To not only have sex with, but to marry someone who is inherently deceptive, manipulative and destructive? And to allow such a person to isolate her some 1200 miles from everyone she knows?
Strange, strange stuff.
My ex-girlfriend, for example, is a very self-destructive person and I sometimes wonder what would motivate her to go down the path of total annihilation.
So here is what happened.
My ex and I were together for four years, three of which were normal, decent years for a couple.
It was the 4th year where things were really ugly. She was disrespectful to my parents right after my Grandpa died, and I told her that it was wrong and she should apologize to them. Instead, she ignored them and never spoke with or visited with them again.
Things got even worse when my friend John, a Scorpio, was struggling with his alcoholism and the fact that his wife left him and took his daughter away from him. As his friend and confidant, I went to his AA meetings with him since obviously his mean and abusive wife wouldn't go with him. While I was spending time with my friend, she started dating this Capricorn sleaze behind my back.
When it was later revealed to me what she had done, she apologized for her behavior and tried to save our relationship. Stupidly, I took her back and tried to resume our relationship. A few months of quasi-normalcy passed by before we had another argument that seemed to overshadow the relationship. She then spent that Christmas kissing that Capricorn sleaze again, and they were engaged 5 months later.
The thing is, her mom, dad and brother tried to stop her from getting into the rebound marriage because they knew how poisonous the whole situation was. Throw in the fact that the Capricorn is a complete psychopath complete with serious anger issues, and you have the recipe for a rebound marriage to a vulture who preys on human emotion.
Not good.
So anyway, she married him anyway, against the advice of her entire family. None of her friends from graduate school attended her wedding because they all knew me, and were most likely shocked that she decided to marry a near perfect stranger so suddenly.
What I do not understand is how such self-destructive behavior can be accepted by an individual as normal?
To not only have sex with, but to marry someone who is inherently deceptive, manipulative and destructive? And to allow such a person to isolate her some 1200 miles from everyone she knows?
Strange, strange stuff.
Posted by Claire
That is strange, Scubafish. Did she have any reason to be disrespectful to your parents and then to go on to ignore them at all??
I really feel for you, going through all that must've been awful.
There is actually a lot to the story about my Grandpa's death.
So here it is:
Grandpa died in December 2007, but there is more than that.
Her family: Lives in South Carolina
My family: Lives in Alabama
Our location: New Orleans, Louisiana
She went to school there, and I worked there.
Anyway, so 2007 was a really big year because that was the year I was really striving to make all of this work on a more permanent level. I took time off from work and literally drove to her parents' house in SC to see her for her birthday in July 2008. I also drove her to her parents house and back for Thanksgiving in November 2007.
That said, that remainder and first part of December 2008 were off-limits for us as a couple because she had to focus on her law exams which were really stressful. Since I respect that, I left her alone to study.
Anyway, so December 10 or so rolls up and we roll out together in separate vehicles. She was planning on staying with my family overnight en route to her parents house, but because she had a 30 day break from her university, I was hoping she would spend 2-3 days with me at my family's house. But, I was wrong. She was planning on leaving the next day, and not spending any time with me!!! It was so frustrating, because the hope was that she would reciprocate what I had done for her over July and November 2008.
But it wasn't there, and there was even an omen in all of this. A terrible, flash-flood type storm system was in the area and even my Dad told her to stay at least until the storm breaks. But, she was very arrogant and drove away into the storm anyway.
So, when all of this happened, I told her that what she had done upset me and that I wanted some time to chill before I get angry and say things I don't mean. I have that bad habit when I get pissed about stuff.
So anyway, Grandpa died a few days later and I called her to tell her that there had been a death in the family and that I would have to go to New England for the funeral.
She then went out and bought a "Sorry for your loss" card, but wrote some ugly stuff in the card about me in it. She then mailed it to my parents house, and i
She then went out and bought a "Sorry for your loss" card, but wrote some ugly stuff in the card about me in it. She then mailed it to my parents house, and it was really upsetting for my mom to read. Mom hid the card from Dad because she didn't want him to see it.
So my ex then created a storm of controversy at my parents' house after Grandpa died, and I called her and told her about the hurt that she had caused with that mean card she wrote. Further, I asked that she send an apology letter or something to try and calm things down with my Mom.
The thing that kills me to this day is that chick did no such thing. Never, ever once did she apologize for being mean to my family after Grandpa died, and she spent the entire year of 2008 avoiding my parents.
It just kills me when I think about this.
So my ex then created a storm of controversy at my parents' house after Grandpa died, and I called her and told her about the hurt that she had caused with that mean card she wrote. Further, I asked that she send an apology letter or something to try and calm things down with my Mom.
The thing that kills me to this day is that chick did no such thing. Never, ever once did she apologize for being mean to my family after Grandpa died, and she spent the entire year of 2008 avoiding my parents.
It just kills me when I think about this.
EDIT:
Anything related to 2008 is actually a reference to 2007.
Anything related to 2008 is actually a reference to 2007.
A little bit, yeah. My ex cancer just developed this new habit of smoking pot every single night...sometimes he gets drunk too. But literally, it's EVERY night. He can't peel himself away from his house because he NEEDS to get stoned.
Self destructive? I think so.
Self destructive? I think so.
Posted by PixieDust
A little bit, yeah. My ex cancer just developed this new habit of smoking pot every single night...sometimes he gets drunk too. But literally, it's EVERY night. He can't peel himself away from his house because he NEEDS to get stoned.
Self destructive? I think so.
This sounds extremely destructive, Pixie.
A few questions.
1.) How long have you guys been together?
2.) What is motivating him to drink so much and smoke so much pot?
1. We were only together for about 3 months. He broke up with me TWO times within those 3 months. (I think he has serious commitment issues)
2. I stuck around for about 6 weeks after the break up and after that, I left saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was within the month after that he started smoking pot and drinking like an alcoholic. A month after I left he came back, wanted to be back in my life but STILL does not want to commit to me.
This is when I noticed the smoking and the drinking as becoming a MAJOR issue...at this point, I wouldn't even get back together with him. I'm not going to fight for love and attention over a substance...no way.
2. I stuck around for about 6 weeks after the break up and after that, I left saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was within the month after that he started smoking pot and drinking like an alcoholic. A month after I left he came back, wanted to be back in my life but STILL does not want to commit to me.
This is when I noticed the smoking and the drinking as becoming a MAJOR issue...at this point, I wouldn't even get back together with him. I'm not going to fight for love and attention over a substance...no way.
Posted by PixieDust
1. We were only together for about 3 months. He broke up with me TWO times within those 3 months. (I think he has serious commitment issues)
2. I stuck around for about 6 weeks after the break up and after that, I left saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was within the month after that he started smoking pot and drinking like an alcoholic. A month after I left he came back, wanted to be back in my life but STILL does not want to commit to me.
This is when I noticed the smoking and the drinking as becoming a MAJOR issue...at this point, I wouldn't even get back together with him. I'm not going to fight for love and attention over a substance...no way.
Yeah, I can never figure out why some Crabs (NOTE I DID NOT SAY ALL) sometimes take on such absolutely destructive behavior.
It's like when my ex damaged her relationship with my family through that ugly letter, and then snubbed them for the rest of our relationship.
Do they not understand that this cataclysmic behavior will only ruin good relationships that they supposedly cherish?
Posted by PixieDust
1. We were only together for about 3 months. He broke up with me TWO times within those 3 months. (I think he has serious commitment issues)
2. I stuck around for about 6 weeks after the break up and after that, I left saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was within the month after that he started smoking pot and drinking like an alcoholic. A month after I left he came back, wanted to be back in my life but STILL does not want to commit to me.
This is when I noticed the smoking and the drinking as becoming a MAJOR issue...at this point, I wouldn't even get back together with him. I'm not going to fight for love and attention over a substance...no way.
BTW, I think you should get away from him and not look back.
Looking back, I wish that I had just told my ex to get lost after writing that ugly letter to my mother.
For Pete's sakes, my Mom didn't even do anything wrong or even remotely deserving of that letter.
And it was written to both of my parents a few days after our beloved Grandpa died.
Sheesh.
I guess I was just too nice to her or something, because anyone with a brain would have thrown her ass the hell out for that kind of behavior.
Yeah. Exactly. I think mine is such a commitmentphobe that he subconciously does little destructive things to push me away. The only time he really, really wanted me, was when I was emotionally unavailable. Now that I'm here and ready, he's shoving me further and further away. Always pushing me to finally leave, only for him to come back a month later and plead to be let back in.
It's driving me to sheer insanity.
It's driving me to sheer insanity.
Yeah, I hear that. I feel like I've become numb to the way he treats me. Because I want him so bad, I've forgotten how I desurve to be treated. I know I need to walk away from him it's just so hard. Especially when I can see he's doing this to himself. I'm always a sucker for a man who needs help....... :/
Posted by PixieDust
Yeah, I hear that. I feel like I've become numb to the way he treats me. Because I want him so bad, I've forgotten how I desurve to be treated. I know I need to walk away from him it's just so hard. Especially when I can see he's doing this to himself. I'm always a sucker for a man who needs help....... :/
Well, I can't tell you about the guy because I don't know him.
However, a psychopath is defined as a person who hurts other people without any genuine feelings of remorse or sympathy over the anguish that their actions have caused.
My ex may not be a total psychopath, but she did display psychopathic tendencies from time to time.
Total and absolute refusal to acknowledge any wrong in that ugly letter she wrote.
Constantly said, "I am sorry that you don't understand," instead of saying, "I am sorry."
It's that condescending and destructive attitude that she maintained to the bitter end, and even when she ignored my family, she never apologized to them for anything.
What's strange is that she threw our relationship away, and married a psychopath on the rebound.
Now the guy she married?
What a scumbag. He shouts at her angrily if she even mentions my name, and he isolated her 1200 miles away from everyone she knows.
Now if that's not Karma, I don't know what is.
Yep. That's my cancer. He can NEVER admit when he's wrong. EVER. And he can't take constructive crticism at all...even when I'm crying out because my feelings are SO hurt, he can't even apologize just for simply hurting me. He never sees my side of the story.
I think the reason I hold on so long is because I remember so intently how things were in the begining. He was so charming, so perfect, so Mr. Right. Sadly, things quickly changed. I think he's got a whole bag of issues.
What did she say in the letter to your family??
I think the reason I hold on so long is because I remember so intently how things were in the begining. He was so charming, so perfect, so Mr. Right. Sadly, things quickly changed. I think he's got a whole bag of issues.
What did she say in the letter to your family??
I honestly don't even remember.
It was addressed to my Mom, and I remember when she got it.
She came into my room, and was like, "Hey, what is wrong with Sarah?"
I was like, "Oh, great. Now what?"
It was basically this ugly tirade toward me.
"Your son" this, "Your son" that....
It was projection at it's finest, in that she was basically accusing my mother of not raising me right, but the card contained offensive language toward a family who was grieving a loss of a family member.
My mom's response was fairly simple. She said that if my ex talked to her like that in person, she would probably get slapped!
I informed my ex that my Mom was hurt and upset about the mean letter, and my ex responded by ignoring my whole family the following year before we finally broke up.
What's sad is that 2008 was the final year in the relationship that never should have happened.
It should have run from 2005-2007, but dragged through 2008 anyway.
Oy, what a hard lesson that entire ordeal was.
It was addressed to my Mom, and I remember when she got it.
She came into my room, and was like, "Hey, what is wrong with Sarah?"
I was like, "Oh, great. Now what?"
It was basically this ugly tirade toward me.
"Your son" this, "Your son" that....
It was projection at it's finest, in that she was basically accusing my mother of not raising me right, but the card contained offensive language toward a family who was grieving a loss of a family member.
My mom's response was fairly simple. She said that if my ex talked to her like that in person, she would probably get slapped!
I informed my ex that my Mom was hurt and upset about the mean letter, and my ex responded by ignoring my whole family the following year before we finally broke up.
What's sad is that 2008 was the final year in the relationship that never should have happened.
It should have run from 2005-2007, but dragged through 2008 anyway.
Oy, what a hard lesson that entire ordeal was.
Wow, that sounds ridiculous. Why did she have to get your whole family involved?
I don't understand people that feel the need to express their angst to their lover's friends and family instead of coming directly to the person of question and telling them how they feel.
Learning the art of how to let go...it's a beautiful thing. I wish I hadn't spent the past 5 months after our break up trying to prove to my ex that I really AM worthy of his love. I knew his relationship history and I know about his issues and I so desperately wanted to be the change in him that he needed. The truth is you can't force things to happen. Letting go.....it's a powerful thing.
I don't understand people that feel the need to express their angst to their lover's friends and family instead of coming directly to the person of question and telling them how they feel.
Learning the art of how to let go...it's a beautiful thing. I wish I hadn't spent the past 5 months after our break up trying to prove to my ex that I really AM worthy of his love. I knew his relationship history and I know about his issues and I so desperately wanted to be the change in him that he needed. The truth is you can't force things to happen. Letting go.....it's a powerful thing.
Posted by PixieDust
Yep. That's my cancer. He can NEVER admit when he's wrong. EVER. And he can't take constructive crticism at all...even when I'm crying out because my feelings are SO hurt, he can't even apologize just for simply hurting me. He never sees my side of the story.
I think the reason I hold on so long is because I remember so intently how things were in the begining. He was so charming, so perfect, so Mr. Right. Sadly, things quickly changed. I think he's got a whole bag of issues.
What did she say in the letter to your family??
The problem with some Cancers (NOTE I DID NOT SAY ALL) is that they keep all of their innermost thoughts, feelings, beliefs and interests all bottled up inside.
As a result of this "bottling up," the outside observer, friend and even romantic partner may or may not ever fully know what is going on inside that shell because they keep so much pent up inside until some of it seeps out or....
THERE IS A FULL EXPLOSION OF EMOTION!!!!!!!
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And when that happens, it's really on the romantic partner to determine whether or not to continue with such a volatile person.
Now, not all Crabs are like this.
However, it can be said that many (NOTE, AGAIN I DID NOT SAY ALL) of the Decan II Crabs are very sneaky and secretive.
My goodness, my ex was a Decan II and I have had to basically swear them off for life.
Now I just feel like like crap because I feel like I've dragged our relatively short but sweet relationship through the mud....and now, I have all of these semi-hateful feelings towads him AND myself that I can't take back.
I wish I would have let it go back before it all got ugly.
I wish I would have let it go back before it all got ugly.
My ex is a decan II as well!
Most of the time (if not all of the time) I have NO idea what is going on inside his head. That is why I felt so insecure in a relationship with him because his mood swings constantly caused him to change his mind. Plus his hesitance to be in a long term, serious relationship was also a little unsettling. But still, I chase after him like it's my only hobby in the world. I'm about to leave him again and I'm curious just how long before he comes back.
Sometimes, I'm convinced that HE isn't even fully aware of his innermost thoughts and feelings and beliefes.
ARRGHH! So frusterating!
Most of the time (if not all of the time) I have NO idea what is going on inside his head. That is why I felt so insecure in a relationship with him because his mood swings constantly caused him to change his mind. Plus his hesitance to be in a long term, serious relationship was also a little unsettling. But still, I chase after him like it's my only hobby in the world. I'm about to leave him again and I'm curious just how long before he comes back.
Sometimes, I'm convinced that HE isn't even fully aware of his innermost thoughts and feelings and beliefes.
ARRGHH! So frusterating!
Posted by PixieDust
Wow, that sounds ridiculous. Why did she have to get your whole family involved?
I don't understand people that feel the need to express their angst to their lover's friends and family instead of coming directly to the person of question and telling them how they feel.
Learning the art of how to let go...it's a beautiful thing. I wish I hadn't spent the past 5 months after our break up trying to prove to my ex that I really AM worthy of his love. I knew his relationship history and I know about his issues and I so desperately wanted to be the change in him that he needed. The truth is you can't force things to happen. Letting go.....it's a powerful thing.
I know! The sick part is that I tried to explain to her that a person should not write anything even REMOTELY negative to a grieving family, and to keep everything as positive and sympathetic as possible. Her behavior was both inappropriate and rude, but she would never even admit to that.
The fact that it was addressed to my parents threw me off as well, but I guess that she felt compelled to communicate on the surface that she was sorry for our loss, but the heart of the matter was that she was angry at me as a response for my anger directed at her. The initial anger and frustration was mine because I gave her July and November 2007 with her family, and wanted 2-3 days of her time in December. When she rejected that concept and subsequently took off, I got frustrated and angry with her. Her response was to get angry and defensive in return, and round and round we went.
It really was a terrible response on her behalf, but she is too narcissistic to understand anything that we are discussing on this board. She will probably go to her grave without understanding that it is wrong to send hate mail to a family that is grieving.
Just let that dude go.
His destructive behavior will only get worse if you are tacitly in the background while he conducts himself poorly.
Posted by PixieDust
My ex is a decan II as well!
Most of the time (if not all of the time) I have NO idea what is going on inside his head. That is why I felt so insecure in a relationship with him because his mood swings constantly caused him to change his mind. Plus his hesitance to be in a long term, serious relationship was also a little unsettling. But still, I chase after him like it's my only hobby in the world. I'm about to leave him again and I'm curious just how long before he comes back.
Sometimes, I'm convinced that HE isn't even fully aware of his innermost thoughts and feelings and beliefes.
ARRGHH! So frusterating!
I would be running right about now if I were you.
Don't walk.
Run.
It's only going to get worse if you stay with this guy.
Trust me on this.
I went through 4 years of it, and I know what you mean about "why didn't I end this sooner?" type questions.
Yes, that behavior is very inappropriate. I myself would be far too embaressed to ever address my boyfriend's parent's in such a way. A cancer should understand this too, they are very private people and hate involving family members in outside affairs. Sounds like she had a bit of a breakdown.
Do you mind if I ask what sign you are?
The last straw for me is the getting high and being drunk all the time. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents so I know what it's like to spend your whole life fighting for affection over a substance. It's ugly and horrible and it's a situation where you can NEVER win. I hope he gets his % &^^ $ together for his own sake.
Do you mind if I ask what sign you are?
The last straw for me is the getting high and being drunk all the time. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents so I know what it's like to spend your whole life fighting for affection over a substance. It's ugly and horrible and it's a situation where you can NEVER win. I hope he gets his % &^^ $ together for his own sake.
I would say his behavior is borderline mentally abusive. He uses his passivity to control me and he knows it. I've outpoured all of my emotions to him (after the break up), telling him just how much I care and need him (which is SO unlike me --I'm a gemini) and he still strings me along. It's cruel.
Posted by PixieDust
Yes, that behavior is very inappropriate. I myself would be far too embaressed to ever address my boyfriend's parent's in such a way. A cancer should understand this too, they are very private people and hate involving family members in outside affairs. Sounds like she had a bit of a breakdown.
Do you mind if I ask what sign you are?
The last straw for me is the getting high and being drunk all the time. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents so I know what it's like to spend your whole life fighting for affection over a substance. It's ugly and horrible and it's a situation where you can NEVER win. I hope he gets his % &^^ $ together for his own sake.
I am a Pisces Decan III, and can assure you that I am not an advocate of Pisces Decan III and Cancer Decan II trying a relationship out.
Too much Scorpio type stuff in there for it to be pleasant.
Let's face it, passion is one thing, but that is probably TOO much passion.
Ya, she addressed my parents head on, and I told her thereafter that it was wrong and that it hurt my Mom.
She became really defiant and arrogant thereafter, and that was the end of her interest in speaking to my family.
It was just nuts.
I honestly still cannot believe I stayed with her in 2008.
Just doesn't make any sense.
Now that I think about it, I really am glad that I didn't marry her.
She was the equivalent of rat poison in terms of a relationship with my own family.
Oh, and all the damage control I had to do for her? Sheesh.
If that dude is smoking pot and drinking all the time, then you should just get away from him.
He is dangerous.
Sort of like a ticking time bomb.
Do gemini's have decan's? They probably do.
I always thought I would be MORE compatible with a cancer because I was born on the taurus-gemini cusp, but I'm not sure if this is true. It just may make me even more bull-headed. My birthday is May 24.
Yeah, I need to get away. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he's not the same guy that I met 7 months ago. And that has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with him. I don't know why I feel as if I need to take responsibility for everyone else all the time.
I always thought I would be MORE compatible with a cancer because I was born on the taurus-gemini cusp, but I'm not sure if this is true. It just may make me even more bull-headed. My birthday is May 24.
Yeah, I need to get away. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he's not the same guy that I met 7 months ago. And that has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with him. I don't know why I feel as if I need to take responsibility for everyone else all the time.
Posted by PixieDust
I would say his behavior is borderline mentally abusive. He uses his passivity to control me and he knows it. I've outpoured all of my emotions to him (after the break up), telling him just how much I care and need him (which is SO unlike me --I'm a gemini) and he still strings me along. It's cruel.
Yeah, you need to get out of there.
My ex was also emotionally abusive.
She was really, really vicious with me sometimes.
Just didn't feel right to be with her sometimes because of the hurtful things she would say.
When I found out that she had secretly married on the rebound not even after a year of dating Mr. Psychopath, I went over to apologize and conclude a final, peaceful dialogue with her parents prior to my departure for Afghanistan.
Her response?
She told her mother that she was "glad that I did that, and that it needed to be done."
What my ex so arrogantly forgets is that she could have at least offered a damn olive branch to my family in return.
But did my family get that?
Oh, hell no!!!!!
That's why I am glad that I took the high road toward the end with her.
Because there is no way I would want to remain at the bottom wherein her level is.
Posted by PixieDust
Do gemini's have decan's? They probably do.
I always thought I would be MORE compatible with a cancer because I was born on the taurus-gemini cusp, but I'm not sure if this is true. It just may make me even more bull-headed. My birthday is May 24.
Yeah, I need to get away. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he's not the same guy that I met 7 months ago. And that has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with him. I don't know why I feel as if I need to take responsibility for everyone else all the time.
You are a Decan I Gemini, and you should read some of Dr. Robert Hare's books and research on psychopaths sometime.
He is a well respected psychologist who specializes in the treatment and diagnoses of psychopaths.
A psychopath will often blame other people for his/her own shortcomings and faults.
Like I said, you need to get out of there.
I will look into that.
I just read a paragraph about decan I gemini's....oh joy. It was slightly insulting...
I just read a paragraph about decan I gemini's....oh joy. It was slightly insulting...
I don't have to watch the news to know there is something up... all these animals washing up dead and birds falling out of the sky!!! I've gone to 4 grocery stores in the past week just to confirm my suspicions. Around my neck of the woods... you can't find chicken anywhere! WTF?
All these people crying about the fact their men don't text them, claiming they are lost in their own world of selfishness. Then when the men try to talk to these women about the bigger picture that creates these worries... they get tuned out and it's all blah, blah, blah to them.
Every Cancer has their own way of coping with it. Some use creative outlets, some sweat their asses off at the gym to fill the time so they don't have to slip into their heads and 'feel' it all. Others escape with pot and alcohol.
Judge and slag all you want, but the world is a harsh, cruel place and we all have to get by in it... one way or another.
The upcoming full moon is in Cancer and it's all about 'feeling it' then 'letting go'. I hope everyone has a heap of baggage they are tired of carrying and realize that THEY are responsible for it's weight. Dump it!!!!
All these people crying about the fact their men don't text them, claiming they are lost in their own world of selfishness. Then when the men try to talk to these women about the bigger picture that creates these worries... they get tuned out and it's all blah, blah, blah to them.
Every Cancer has their own way of coping with it. Some use creative outlets, some sweat their asses off at the gym to fill the time so they don't have to slip into their heads and 'feel' it all. Others escape with pot and alcohol.
Judge and slag all you want, but the world is a harsh, cruel place and we all have to get by in it... one way or another.
The upcoming full moon is in Cancer and it's all about 'feeling it' then 'letting go'. I hope everyone has a heap of baggage they are tired of carrying and realize that THEY are responsible for it's weight. Dump it!!!!
For anyone to suggest that being self destructive is exclusive to Cancers only is beyond shallow. Charlie Sheen is a Virgo, how come he is self destructive? People become self destructive for a variety of reasons, and it's not because of their sun sign. Lindsay Lohan's dad was a coke addict and he is a Taurus. What is your explanation for that? Wouldnt you think her being raised by an addict may have a lot more to do with her behavior? I am getting tired of people making silly declarative threads about Cancers with no real insight.
For anyone to suggest that being self destructive is exclusive to Cancers only is beyond shallow. Charlie Sheen is a Virgo, how come he is self destructive? People become self destructive for a variety of reasons, and it's not because of their sun sign. Lindsay Lohan's dad was a coke addict and he is a Taurus. What is your explanation for that? Wouldnt you think her being raised by an addict may have a lot more to do with her behavior? I am getting tired of people making silly declarative threads about Cancers with no real insight.
i didn't mean to post it twice. Glitch 😢
Posted by MoonBunny
@Scubafish
The tides of the world and Cancerian psyches are connected. The mass felling of tress, China mass polluting the air, poison poured into lakes and rivers, human killings, we share the Great Mother's collective burdens. When She feels sick so do we, whether we're spiritually-inclined or not. A sudden bloody event elsewhere would make me and few others sick to the stomach w/o our touching the remote to watch the news. Yes, even Lindsay Lohan must have been affected. I understand all the petty problems shared by people on DXP but do they understand ours? Your ex is right, you know? It's not something you'd understand. My ex-Fish friend sure didn't.
How in the bloody hell is anything that she did in the end "right?"
Posted by treefroggerPosted by Scubafish
Yeah, you need to get out of there.
My ex was also emotionally abusive.
She was really, really vicious with me sometimes.
Just didn't feel right to be with her sometimes because of the hurtful things she would say.
When I found out that she had secretly married on the rebound not even after a year of dating Mr. Psychopath, I went over to apologize and conclude a final, peaceful dialogue with her parents prior to my departure for Afghanistan.
Her response?
She told her mother that she was "glad that I did that, and that it needed to be done."
What my ex so arrogantly forgets is that she could have at least offered a damn olive branch to my family in return.
But did my family get that?
Oh, hell no!!!!!
That's why I am glad that I took the high road toward the end with her.
Because there is no way I would want to remain at the bottom wherein her level is.
i don't blame you for wanting out. i would too if someone was emotionally abusive with me. one of my exes would say sometimes say the meanest things, but of course.. they were just joking.
sometimes i don't know why some cancers just disappear without saying a word and suddenly show up with someone new... it's what happened with my father. no explanation whatsoever... just gone.
i know how family means a great deal to a pisces and any hurt inflicted a pisces would feel two-fold.
it seems like she showed no appreciation for you whatsoever at the things you did for her and i'm not sure it would've gotten better if you stayed where she was at.click to expand
Lindsay Lohan, my ex and Pixie's pot-head boyfriend all have one thing in common.
Decan II Cancer.
I don't know what in the bloody hell is the matter with those three people, but there is clearly a trend to the destructive behavior.
If there is anything to be learned from the behavior of these three individuals, it is to be cautious with your emotions whenever intertwining your life with a Decan II Cancer.
Take that for what it is worth: A simply written word of warning.
Posted by treefroggerPosted by Scubafish
Yeah, you need to get out of there.
My ex was also emotionally abusive.
She was really, really vicious with me sometimes.
Just didn't feel right to be with her sometimes because of the hurtful things she would say.
When I found out that she had secretly married on the rebound not even after a year of dating Mr. Psychopath, I went over to apologize and conclude a final, peaceful dialogue with her parents prior to my departure for Afghanistan.
Her response?
She told her mother that she was "glad that I did that, and that it needed to be done."
What my ex so arrogantly forgets is that she could have at least offered a damn olive branch to my family in return.
But did my family get that?
Oh, hell no!!!!!
That's why I am glad that I took the high road toward the end with her.
Because there is no way I would want to remain at the bottom wherein her level is.
sometimes i don't know why some cancers just disappear without saying a word and suddenly show up with someone new... it's what happened with my father. no explanation whatsoever... just gone.
it seems like she showed no appreciation for you whatsoever at the things you did for her and i'm not sure it would've gotten better if you stayed where she was at.click to expand
1.) It is selfish, remorseless, emotionally destructive and ruthless behavior on their behalf and I won't tolerate it.
2.) No, she didn't have appreciation for me. That's what makes me so damn sick about the whole thing. There were instances in 2007 where I clearly demonstrated my interest in making things less fulfilling on my end, and more supportive toward her end. Was that reciprocated? Hell no, it wasn't, and I deserve someone who will reciprocate my attempts to make things work in a relationship.
@scorpiokirst : Then why are you here on the cancer board if they are nauseous . Are you a self destructive scorpio ?. May god have pity on you . Poor
Posted by MoonBunnyPosted by Scubafish
How in the bloody hell is anything that she did in the end "right?"
Wasn't talking about what she did. But the bit that she said, I quote myself:
Your ex is right, you know? It's not something you'd understand. My ex-Fish friend sure didn't.
I'm a 2nd decan Cancer and I don't smoke pot. I've never even tried a cig. What I'm annoyed with, as are other Crabs, are the multitude of posts complaining about us. Whining, whining, whining over a lil hang nail while us Crabs bear a heavy cross on our backs and didn't don't say a word about it. Put our plight into perspective, will ya? No, you won't, for you're still complaining about that stupid lil letter she wrote that became a stupid hangnail in your memory. Turns out I'm right about one thing too, as you've just proven, you don't understand.click to expand
No, I don't understand rude and disrespectful people and probably never will.
Especially since this behavior was unjustifiable and without remorse.
THE FACT IS THAT IT IS WRONG TO SAY HURTFUL THINGS TO A FAMILY IN GRIEF, AND IT IS EVEN MORE WRONG TO SNUB THEM INSTEAD OF APOLOGIZE.
There is nothing to understand other than that this person I refer to as my ex was the most destructive person I ever met, and I really dodged a freight train by seeing all of this crap happen BEFORE I considered marrying her.
Kind of interesting....I work with a lady who is a second decan cancer...she actually shares the same birth date as my ex and she used to have drug problems.
Although I must say I've met plently of other zodiac signs that have very self-destructive behavior as well.
Although I must say I've met plently of other zodiac signs that have very self-destructive behavior as well.
Posted by PixieDust
Kind of interesting....I work with a lady who is a second decan cancer...she actually shares the same birth date as my ex and she used to have drug problems.
Although I must say I've met plently of other zodiac signs that have very self-destructive behavior as well.
Fair enough statement.
MoonBunny pissed me off because she was essentially defending the indefensible.
Reprehensible behavior cannot be excused if an apology isn't made.
Running/hiding after bad behavior is pointed out is as childish as it is thoughtless.
Her behavior in December 2007 really was the end of the relationship, but I foolishly dismissed it and allowed her selfish and equally destructive behavior to continue.
The only solace that I sense in all of this is that she really is facing some bad Karma right now some 1200 isolated miles away from everyone she knows, and the only recent memories she has of me is that I strived to save what we had in addition to steadfast, unconditional love.
treefrogger, you are one of the sweetest cancers I have not met 🙂 the way you protect scubafish is very endearing. I was like this with my Aqua ex... but at the end of it all it made me an enabler Crab.
Protecting people from the destructive nature of their emotions only steals their freedom of release. I would not like to carry Scubafish's burden. Holding on to the hurt his ex caused him is only hurting himself.
I think everyone understands his plight... but we also know she wasn't all bad since he loves Cancers and can't shake the memory of this one.
There is also two sides to every story and a hurt Pisces can blur the details of reality.
I think he's working it out tho...
Protecting people from the destructive nature of their emotions only steals their freedom of release. I would not like to carry Scubafish's burden. Holding on to the hurt his ex caused him is only hurting himself.
I think everyone understands his plight... but we also know she wasn't all bad since he loves Cancers and can't shake the memory of this one.
There is also two sides to every story and a hurt Pisces can blur the details of reality.
I think he's working it out tho...
Posted by Scubafish
Lindsay Lohan, my ex and Pixie's pot-head boyfriend all have one thing in common.
Decan II Cancer.
I don't know what in the bloody hell is the matter with those three people, but there is clearly a trend to the destructive behavior.
If there is anything to be learned from the behavior of these three individuals, it is to be cautious with your emotions whenever intertwining your life with a Decan II Cancer.
Take that for what it is worth: A simply written word of warning.click to expand
I don't want to defend the indefensible either and/or comment about your situation with your ex, but what is suggested in the above is one of the dumbest set statements I've seen posted to this forum. Those three people have way more relevant things in common, namely the nastiness described by other posters. You drawing it down to their birth date, and very unconvincingly at that, is beyond stupid and not redeemed by a history of otherwise reasonable posts. Do you get that you just jumped from talking about three people to literally millions? Again, I make no comment about your ex, but she is clearly no justification for an asinine statement like this. I could name thousands of Decan II Cancers far more influential than Lindsay Lohan including Anjelica Huston, Dave Barry, and Giorgio Armani. My sister happens to be a Decan II Cancer, is a professor of organizational psychology at Northwestern, has a negligible history of self-destruction, and has probably helped a great deal of people by this point. I have a Decan II friend of many years in Switzerland who's an astronomer and environmentalist. She's incredibly balanaced and usually the one giving me advice about relationships with other people.
I don't know what you hoped to gain by posting something like that and at the same time trying to preach about bad behavior.
Posted by MoonBunny
Did you miss a point of Scubafish?
Like he dissed me and my whole life when he snubbed 2nd decan Cancers?
Like when he is fully supportive of a psychopathic man torturing a woman who's obviously already been through a lot, given her self-destructiveness?
He did wrong. Period. Now let's see how apologetic HE is over his own mistake. Or to cowardly to admit it.
Hey Moonbunny,
Here are the facts:
1.) A person wrote an ugly letter to my mother while we were grieving the loss of my Grandfather. You are saying that "I don't understand" the reprehensible behavior, and you are right. I don't, nor do I care to, especially since she never apologized for it and instead avoided my family. I should have ended the relationship then and there, but did not, and gave her another chance anyway.
2.) My friend was suffering from all kinds of emotional damage from his alcoholism to his abusive wife to the fact that she took his daughter away from him and ran to New York. I was there with my friend to see all of this happen, and I supported him by attending his AA meetings with him. While all of this was going on, my ex was sneaking around with that detestable Capricorn nutcase.
3.) When I found out about the sneaking around, I forgave her anyway and took her back that fall. We then proceeded with the rocky restart to the relationship, yet it collapsed a few months later when she went back to him.
4.) Now that she is married to him, I understand through her mother that he is a complete and total psychopath. From isolating her 1200 miles away from everyone she knows, to forcing her to eat certain things to not allowing her to speak about me without a violent, raging response. He is dangerous, destructive and evil. I emailed her before I left for Afghanistan to say goodbye, and that I would be praying for her while she endures the poisonous mayhem of that marriage she is in.
5.) Yes, it is true that she created some bad Karma for herself when she voluntarily conducted the actions cited in bullets 1 and 2, but Karma is determined by the universe, not by me. Just because I am acknowledging her bad karma, does not mean that I am glad it happened. Stop putting words into my mouth. I am not fully supportive of the demon she married. Worried sick by the constant red flags from this guy, her whole family tried to stop her from marrying
5.) Yes, it is true that she created some bad Karma for herself when she voluntarily conducted the actions cited in bullets 1 and 2, but Karma is determined by the universe, not by me. Just because I am acknowledging her bad karma, does not mean that I am glad it happened. Stop putting words into my mouth. I am not fully supportive of the demon she married. Worried sick by the constant red flags from this guy, her whole family tried to stop her from marrying that creep, but she defied all of them. Does that make any sense? To give your whole family the middle finger before you get married?
6.) Yes, it remains true that I hold some anger and frustration to this day over this behavior because NONE OF IT is justifiable. Being harsh with my parents, refusing to apologize, cheating on me, etc...
If YOU had dealt with HALF the BS I had to go through with that person, I can assure YOU that your outlook on the situation would be a hell of a lot different than what it currently is.
6.) Yes, it remains true that I hold some anger and frustration to this day over this behavior because NONE OF IT is justifiable. Being harsh with my parents, refusing to apologize, cheating on me, etc...
If YOU had dealt with HALF the BS I had to go through with that person, I can assure YOU that your outlook on the situation would be a hell of a lot different than what it currently is.
Ladies,
I am simply offering raw insight based on real-world experience, exposure and HARDSHIP of being with an extremely destructive Decan II Cancer.
That said, I apologize up front if you cannot understand, relate to or fathom what I have been through, but I am very passionate about my experiences because I prefer to see others refrain from suffering under the same detrimental conduct.
Yes, it is very normal for a person to be offended by what I have been exposed to.
It is also equally true that the healing process is in effect, although it is not a rapid, overnight process.
Rome was not constructed in a day, nor do human beings recover from the harmful and selfish behavior of others at the snap of a finger.
For the sake of others, I will try to maintain a more positive attitude while dealing with the fallout.
I am simply offering raw insight based on real-world experience, exposure and HARDSHIP of being with an extremely destructive Decan II Cancer.
That said, I apologize up front if you cannot understand, relate to or fathom what I have been through, but I am very passionate about my experiences because I prefer to see others refrain from suffering under the same detrimental conduct.
Yes, it is very normal for a person to be offended by what I have been exposed to.
It is also equally true that the healing process is in effect, although it is not a rapid, overnight process.
Rome was not constructed in a day, nor do human beings recover from the harmful and selfish behavior of others at the snap of a finger.
For the sake of others, I will try to maintain a more positive attitude while dealing with the fallout.
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