cancer woman insecurities

i noticed about my cancer that when i am not able to do something that she wanted me to do at the time that she wanted me to do it, she feels insecure (i think what is going on in her mind is that i don't love her) and acts immaturely/act like a kid. but it's not as if i don't want to do what she wanted me to do... i want to do what she wants me to do, but i just don't have the money to do it (she wants me to fly in different countries to be with her and she lets me know that she wants me to do it the day before she wants me there so the airplane ticket is very expensive --- like $ 1000 every time she wants me.) my goal is to do that for her but right now i can't do it yet. so there were 2 instances recently that this happened (that i was not able to fly and be with her) in the most recent one i explained to her and made her aware that if she told me 2-3 weeks prior, i could have been there (the airplane ticket would have been still cheap) i'm not getting a response yet... my question is how long will she be like that (acting like a kid when she doesn't get what she wants from me at the time that she wants it) and what can i do to make her feel better when these thing happen (that i am not able to do what she wants for now)? thanks.

How old is she, if I may ask?

Posted by Argentum
How old is she, if I may ask?

she's 46 (looks like 20) and i'm 28. i think her age amplifies her insecurities.

she knows that i attract a lot of people romantically from both sexes (i told her about it because i want an open and honest relationship with her) i get confessed on quite frequently. But i also tell her what i did/do to avoid those people i attract (to let her know that she's the only one i want)

Mayority of cancer woman I know “grow up” and build up understanding for problems like yours around 40. She is past that point and i guess you are right about insecurities because of age difference. Long distance also... Us cancers want people we love close, to be there for them and vice versa.

Posted by Argentum
Mayority of cancer woman I know “grow up” and build up understanding for problems like yours around 40. She is past that point and i guess you are right about insecurities because of age difference. Long distance also... Us cancers want people we love close, to be there for them and vice versa.

so i guess i should just allow her to be like that (to act like a kid) until she realizes on her own what she is doing (like what i did currently of explaining to her that if she just told me 2-3 weeks prior to it that i would have been there is enough for now)? she will mature on her own? i know that her insecurities makes her act like a child; be irrationally demanding and i get that, so i don't get mad at her for it and we never fought.... sometimes i wonder if i should do anything to make her feel better...

it's like i have to do certain things (fly to whatever country she is in whenever she wants me to) to make her feel loved. like what i am currently doing is not enough for her to feel loved and hence her insecurities.

her mentality is "do whatever it takes" ...like she thinks that if i really wanted to be with her, i would have made a way to make it happen. if it doesn't happen, she thinks that i don't want it/i didn't want to be with her and sometimes even worse happens: she thinks that i was lying when i told her that i want to be with her Just because it didn't happen immediately when i said it/immediately after i said it... but i'm just being practical... i can do it if she told me ahead of time and i still can afford it.

Posted by WarAngel1
Cancer women insecure?

NAHHHH! 😋

i hope so. i don't want her to feel insecure. if there is one thing that i want her to feel it's for her to feel special and loved.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by Argentum
Mayority of cancer woman I know “grow up” and build up understanding for problems like yours around 40. She is past that point and i guess you are right about insecurities because of age difference. Long distance also... Us cancers want people we love close, to be there for them and vice versa.

so i guess i should just allow her to be like that (to act like a kid) until she realizes on her own what she is doing (like what i did currently of explaining to her that if she just told me 2-3 weeks prior to it that i would have been there is enough for now)? she will mature on her own? i know that her insecurities makes her act like a child; be irrationally demanding and i get that, so i don't get mad at her for it and we never fought.... sometimes i wonder if i should do anything to make her feel better...

click to expand

In the situation you are right now (long distance relationship), you are doing everything right. You seem like nice guy that really cares about her. Fuck if you are traveling that far to see her and your understanding for her, that's a big thing and tells a lot about you.

But the fact is, that if you are not physical close, felt by touch, smell, eye contact connection (ooh yea), energy, sex, fun, fight, fascial and body mimic...., she can not read you (read that as feel you). She is cancer, only what we feel is true for us. Only verbal, video or written communication is abstract for us. And then the fears come and they can and will overcome any verbal reassurance you provide. And in this situation she is going nuts inside, overdrive of emotions can occur sooner or later.

Serious long distance relationship is IMHO for two water signs almost impossible. We bond and connect deep, we love it and we need it. The need for emotional connection achieved also trough physical contact, is just too strong to be far apart for too long. At least from my cancer point of view, and I'm a man, women cancers need that even more intensely.

You two need to find a practical solution how to be physical closer together if you want to make it work.

Posted by Argentum

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by Argentum
Mayority of cancer woman I know “grow up” and build up understanding for problems like yours around 40. She is past that point and i guess you are right about insecurities because of age difference. Long distance also... Us cancers want people we love close, to be there for them and vice versa.

so i guess i should just allow her to be like that (to act like a kid) until she realizes on her own what she is doing (like what i did currently of explaining to her that if she just told me 2-3 weeks prior to it that i would have been there is enough for now)? she will mature on her own? i know that her insecurities makes her act like a child; be irrationally demanding and i get that, so i don't get mad at her for it and we never fought.... sometimes i wonder if i should do anything to make her feel better...

In the situation you are right now (long distance relationship), you are doing everything right. You seem like nice guy that really cares about her. Fuck if you are traveling that far to see her and your understanding for her, that's a big thing and tells a lot about you.

But the fact is, that if you are not physical close, felt by touch, smell, eye contact connection (ooh yea), energy, sex, fun, fight, fascial and body mimic...., she can not read you (read that as feel you). She is cancer, only what we feel is true for us. Only verbal, video or written communication is abstract for us. And then the fears come and they can and will overcome any verbal reassurance you provide. And in this situation she is going nuts inside, overdrive of emotions can occur sooner or later.

Serious long distance relationship is IMHO for two water signs almost impossible. We bond and connect deep, we love it and we need it. The need for emotional connection achieved also trough physical contact, is just too strong to be far apart for too long. At least from my cancer point of view, and I'm a man, women cancers need that even more intensely.

You two need to find a practical solution how to be physical closer together if you want to make it work.

click to expand

would it help if we can feel each other even if we are apart right now? believe it or not, since the very first time we met, we have developed telepathy with each other. when she thinks of me, i think of her and i literally feel her. when i think of her, she thinks of me. our telepathy is very very strong when we are physically together or when we are near. she can call me and make me do what she wants with just a glance and a feeling (without saying anything). i told her about it and since the first time she knew she's been using it intentionally to make me do things she wants me to do like to get me to literally walk to her side when i am far from her. (and i don't mind that. i like it) i can literally feel her wherever we are no matter how far we are. so i never felt like the distance that we currently have is a problem (i just see it as a temporary issue). and i have expressed that i don't feel any worry about what is going on (i literally don't) i think that when we get back together physically we will just start over again. and i have read that when a cancer woman loves you it's for life, right? she already told me that she loves me. i feel the same for her and i told her that i love her too. i am faithful to her and everything... the only problem that we have is the current physical distance and that's it.

has anybody else have a very deep connection like ours with another water sign?

I totally believe about telepathy, great and precious thing you two are having here. Very strong base 🙂

Cancers love deeply, if it's for life i can't tell you, you can not putt all cancers in "the same basket". But I can assure you "for life and beyond" is what most of us want, search and crave for. And majority of cancers is ready to do alooooot for relationship to develop in that direction if we love and feel that the other person is "the one". Fighting with our demons, learn, transfom ourselves, grow...

Talk to her about her childish behaving, even confront her if you need to, we are not afraid of that and we don't run away from it (sometimes that is the only right way, so we stop moving sideways or come out of a shell). When she opens up to you about it, I bet there's a story from past behind her insecurities. Usually hurt. She'll cry probably. Then reassure her and there are good chances she'll change her behaviour. Shitty situation is, that this is best done....again, face to face.

Posted by Argentum
I totally believe about telepathy, great and precious thing you two are having here. Very strong base 🙂

Cancers love deeply, if it's for life i can't tell you, you can not putt all cancers in "the same basket". But I can assure you "for life and beyond" is what most of us want, search and crave for. And majority of cancers is ready to do alooooot for relationship to develop in that direction if we love and feel that the other person is "the one". Fighting with our demons, learn, transfom ourselves, grow...

Talk to her about her childish behaving, even confront her if you need to, we are not afraid of that and we don't run away from it (sometimes that is the only right way, so we stop moving sideways or come out of a shell). When she opens up to you about it, I bet there's a story from past behind her insecurities. Usually hurt. She'll cry probably. Then reassure her and there are good chances she'll change her behaviour. Shitty situation is, that this is best done....again, face to face.

great. i already did that (told her about the childish behaviour) and i also sent her this message a while back among a lot of other things "i will never give up on you, please don't give up on me." i think that her heart knows that i love her so much it's just her mind that has doubts. thanks for all of the advice!

i also read that the key to a scorpio and cancer relationship is communication. so that is what i do with her regularly. i noticed that when we are talking and something gets unsaid or something is not clarified, her mind will fill in the blanks...and most likely what her mind fills in it is not correct. so i always make it a point to explain things to her so that we can be on the same page as much as possible.

Shes too materialistic. Money shouldn’t be everything. But she’s not changing her ways. Accept it or move on

Posted by pinkbird03
Shes too materialistic. Money shouldn’t be everything. But she’s not changing her ways. Accept it or move on

her family was poor when she was young. our family is upper middle class. she's a hustler.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by pinkbird03
Shes too materialistic. Money shouldn’t be everything. But she’s not changing her ways. Accept it or move on

her family was poor when she was young. our family is upper middle class. she's a hustler.

click to expand

Soo how does that make u feel??

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by pinkbird03
Shes too materialistic. Money shouldn’t be everything. But she’s not changing her ways. Accept it or move on

her family was poor when she was young. our family is upper middle class. she's a hustler.

Soo how does that make u feel??

click to expand

i feel lucky to have caught her attention. i'm dealing with a lot of things on my side of the family that i haven't told her yet. my foster mother recently blackmailed me and then lied to all of my relatives about what happened that made all of my relatives literally hostile towards me. i've been literally threatened by some of my relatives a few times now. my foster mother also trash talks me to my other relatives and make fun of me behind my back. i haven't told my cancer about it yet because i don't want to burden her with my problems. i'm still dealing with that...