Can't figure this cancer out...?

Hello. I'm a scorp sun with alot of sag and libra in my sign.

So I'm prepping for grad school right now, and can't figure out my tutor, who's a cancer. I admit that I do have a crush on him, but I don't foresee any future possibility between us two, so I honestly just want to be on friendly terms. But, he's just so formal, even though he's only a year older than me!! For example, he always addresses me by my full first name, even though I sign and address my emails and documents with my abbreviated (I have a really common name). He has let my nickname slip through a couple of times, but for the most part, still addresses me by full name. He also flinches away when our legs accidentally bump. It's like I have some contagious disease or something. The thing is, he's really nice and seems genuinely thoughtful, always wanting feedback on whether he's actually helping me improve, what he can do better to teach, buys me beverages once in a while, etc etc.

I know I can be awkward, but I generally get along with most people. (I mean, most of my friends are geminis and leos!! jkjk) With him, however, I feel like there's this impenetrable wall up. And I thought I was pretty guarded!

Why does he want to keep things so professional? I guess I'd like some tips so on how I can show him I just want to be friends. I'm harmless. I swear....

lol

Posted by mr.crabby
lol

really? that's all i get? 😢

Posted by settlethescorp

Posted by mr.crabby
lol

really? that's all i get? 😢

click to expand

Yes. This reminds me of how much I loved a Scorp and how she probably didn't get it at all. Not the same situation, but still... If Scorps don't get it, who will?

Cute username btw.

Actually, I would break protocol anytime, just sayin'. "If" she's interested and "if" she thinks she has a chance... lol.

Posted by gemtaur
i'm going to go out on a limb and say it's because he's your TUTOR. how old are you? what graduate program are you applying to? are you for real?

or, next time your legs bump up against each other, grab him by the collar, pin him to the wall, softly whisper in his ears that you've been studying so much lately that you think you're losing your mind, and then BOLT. AWAY. AS FAR AS YOU CAN GO WITHOUT COLLAPSING AND DON'T RETURN.

saggi rising here: you're scaring him. the intensity + his job = no go. admit to yourself you like him and you can't have him and move on.

Hahahahaha. WOW. Let's try and calm down over there. I may be intense, but I never act intense outwardly, especially to someone I do not know too well. And I certainly haven't acted in a manner that would scare him off! And I have admitted that I do like him...to myself. lol! This doesn't mean I want or intend to jump him or have some crazy, fantastical declaration of love as you so humorously (I hope) proposed; I just want to lighten the teaching environment and not have things so uncomfortably stuffy, specifically because he's a good tutor and I would like to continue the tutoring so I can raise my test score...

Posted by mr.crabby
Cute username btw.

lol thanks. i thought it would suffice. 🙂

Posted by mr.crabby
Actually, I would break protocol anytime, just sayin'. "If" she's interested and "if" she thinks she has a chance... lol.

Hahaha. No, gemtaur is right, at least in one aspect: I don't think there is any chance for, well, anything beyond the tutor-student relationship. I just wish he would relax and be...normal (for lack of a better word). He seems to vacillate widely between acting like some middle-aged stuffy professional to a normal (though I guess that term is relative) 20-something year old. It's weird.

^^^^so, just act like a student then and get out of it what you should be TUTORING... how hard should that be?

Posted by lildol
^^^^so, just act like a student then and get out of it what you should be TUTORING... how hard should that be?

Yep! That's the plan. Just wanted tips on how to alleviate the stuffiness since I like to know that I'm dealing with a human being, not a computer/wall. (Although I suppose this is its own form of irony since I'm asking advice on the internet lol!) It appears that the consensus on this forum is that I can't or shouldn't. Oh well!

be funny...

Apologies if my original post bothered anyone (as made evident by some of the replies tinged with crassness.) I just wanted to know how to create a pleasant setting -- yes, primarily conducive to studying -- with my CANCER tutor.

I wonder if it's that alien of an idea to want to establish congeniality and camaraderie with teachers, professors, mentors, and the like...— o_O (I hope not!)

Regardless, thanks for the feedback everyone.

Nobody really quite understands what it is that is a "normal" teacher pupil relationship in your mind, so the question is awkward. I don't view a professional setting as unpleasant, or not conducive to studying.

Some of our kind do tend to be very formal, especially with the opposite sex. Sometimes it takes time to get us to open up, maybe a little bit of joking, prodding, a few innocent questions unrelated to the subject at hand, etc.. Sometimes when we're formal, we respect you, or like you enough that we act that way in front of you, maybe he thinks you're cute and doesn't want you to think less of him so he keeps it professional.

Settlethescorp:your eyes must be revealing a very true and evil inside you . So do not try to mess up with cancer ,otherwise you will regret it .the poor cancer might have been suffering worse since you have seen him ,your are such evil.look in mirror.

Posted by lovelibra
Settlethescorp:your eyes must be revealing a very true and evil inside you . So do not try to mess up with cancer ,otherwise you will regret it .the poor cancer might have been suffering worse since you have seen him ,your are such evil.look in mirror.

You been drinking again?

Thanks, cancerguy! This is very helpful.
Yes, it dawned on me that my view of a "normal" teacher student relationship may be very different than other people's perspectives on it (particularly on here haha). It may be because I've had the fortunate experience of establishing fantastic relations with past professors and the like where we keep in touch and hug when we say goodbye/hello.

With him, I feel like there is a 3 feet barrier between us. I've actually stopped trying to be friendly these past few times we've had our sessions, paranoid that perhaps I've overstepped some invisible boundary or, if he wants to keep things professional, I should respect that! The first time, he thought something was wrong. The next time, he wondered if there was anything more he could do to help me more, or if he was doing something wrong teaching-wise. I guess it's because I wasn't smiling and laughing as much?

Posted by lovelibra
Settlethescorp:your eyes must be revealing a very true and evil inside you . So do not try to mess up with cancer ,otherwise you will regret it .the poor cancer might have been suffering worse since you have seen him ,your are such evil.look in mirror.

....how did you know??

Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to stop caring and just be myself. I like accommodating people who I admire and would like to get to know, but I really do dislike the feeling of tiptoeing around eggshells. 😢

Posted by settlethescorp
like accommodating people who I admire and would like to get to know, but I really do dislike the feeling of tiptoeing around eggshells. 😢

So you dislike Crab people. 😢

@mr. crabby: On the contraire, I

well, i just emailed him in a formal manner (in line with how he usually talks to me) and he responded very informally. I can confidently say that I see a pattern rising:
If I wrote informally, he responds formally.
If I wrote formally, he responds informally.

....balance is what it's all about. hahaha.

You creepy scorpio is here .

Posted by settlethescorp
Thanks, cancerguy! This is very helpful.
With him, I feel like there is a 3 feet barrier between us. I've actually stopped trying to be friendly these past few times we've had our sessions, paranoid that perhaps I've overstepped some invisible boundary or, if he wants to keep things professional, I should respect that! The first time, he thought something was wrong. The next time, he wondered if there was anything more he could do to help me more, or if he was doing something wrong teaching-wise. I guess it's because I wasn't smiling and laughing as much?

Scorp paranoia is annoying to the level of being silly. You're making too many assumptions about things, stop doing that. You're already assuming that he wants things to stay professional, despite having no conversation about the issue at all. How long is this tutoring situation going to last anyway? If you want to know what's what because you like him then after this tutoring situation invite him out, if he doesn't loosen up then maybe it was just professional. If he wanted something more, then that little nudge is probably all it would take. Otherwise, just be yourself, if he really is this staid and uninteresting all the time, which I doubt he is, then he can just go to hell.

Bottom line, stop being paranoid, enjoy the tutoring sessions, continue to be yourself.

Uhm probably because it IS PROFESSIONAL!

i thought this topic was resolved.

1. @stayandsee23: ?? i'm not giving anyone creepy eyes. sorry to disappoint. he doesn't even know i like him. i haven't said or acted in any particular way for him to think so, and i'm going to keep it that way.
2. @canceriangoddess: i've established repeatedly that i, too, am keeping things professional. hence, nothing is going to happen.

thanks.

Wow. I was actually accurate in my suspicions/intuition.
It turns out that he did like me! I guess we were both so intent on keeping things professional, we never took a chance. Sadly, it can't work out and I won't pursue it. Such is life. 🙂
Just thought I'd update for anyone trying to figure out a cancer!

For any scorpios out there, you're intuition is probably right! Don't doubt it!

So he didn't get to settle the Scorp, then.

Hahaha. Sadly, no. 😭

@gemtaur
Hahaha you're hilarious! What is all this talk about some dramatic heartbreak? I had a CRUSH!! I think he's cute and smart, but it would be pointless to try to pursue anything with him since he just moved back to school 4-5 hours away, and I'm still studying for exams and applying to grad schools. As for details, I could tell he reciprocated my crush (at least to some degree), especially around when tutoring was coming to an end, from the way he lingered around after we were done, and would get red, embarrassed, and flustered around me. He also talked and flirted with me for an hour late into the night until he went to sleep. Of course, it took two whole months for him to open up. Typical cancer? 🙂 And no, I/we never had the crazy, soap opera love that you're imagining. Although I admit that would have been more entertaining...hehe. It was all innocent crushes and flirtations. It was fun while it lasted!

What's wrong with updating on a forum about a "crush"? I've seen people write about matters much more trivial and, to be honest, stupid. I mean, if you want to couch it in your line of reasoning (about being logical and intelligent), look at where we are; we're on a forum about astrology! (Despite my own personal beliefs, I think we can agree that astrology isn't the most esteemed field of study in mainstream academia.)

I don't think there's any point of saying anything more, not because I don't appreciate your concern and advice, but because you're going to interpret whatever I say as rationalization or romanticizing. Who knows? Maybe you're right; maybe you're wrong. In any case, I'm going to let this matter go (AND this forum topic). I won't have anymore updates, because that seems to set some people off...sheesh.

Still, It was extremely cathartic and fun. 🙂 Thanks for indulging me!