lotuslily
@lotuslily
14 Years1,000+ PostsAries
Comments: 4 · Posts: 1107 · Topics: 77
How to for Aries gal to catch cancer guy??
There's a rule about not sleeping with a man on the first date. You slept with him before the first date. Now you want to catch him. This makes no sense!
He was a complete gentleman, even after... and there has been contact since... I just think that I should pull the handbrake up a bit on the bed thing and let him see I am a real person and not just another floosy he got to get into bed with so easily when drunk! Like try and form a bond with him as a human being type thing.
I did make a point of being pretty affectionate with him -- like stroking his hair or whatever and letting him know that i was going to take advantage of the opportunity to show affection because it's not often i end up in bed with someone and I miss being affectionate!
Strangely enough -- I've had a similar experience with another cancer guy I was already friends with who managed to get me into bed, and that experience made us better friends than ever before. It actually brought us closer as friends and he remains one of my best friends to this day. It's an intimate closeness -- and we care for each other a great deal and I think the woman who gets to spend her life with him is going to be SO lucky. And he thinks the same for me. We just don't want that from each other.
There is a third cancer guy I'm friends with (NO SEX WITH HIM YET.. hahaha) but he too is just this amazing REAL person and we are also very close and share a lot with each other....
There's something about these Cancer guys that I value!!!
What do cancer dudes think of Aries chicks? From our "too easy to get into bed-ness" to our "best friends-ness"...
I did make a point of being pretty affectionate with him -- like stroking his hair or whatever and letting him know that i was going to take advantage of the opportunity to show affection because it's not often i end up in bed with someone and I miss being affectionate!
Strangely enough -- I've had a similar experience with another cancer guy I was already friends with who managed to get me into bed, and that experience made us better friends than ever before. It actually brought us closer as friends and he remains one of my best friends to this day. It's an intimate closeness -- and we care for each other a great deal and I think the woman who gets to spend her life with him is going to be SO lucky. And he thinks the same for me. We just don't want that from each other.
There is a third cancer guy I'm friends with (NO SEX WITH HIM YET.. hahaha) but he too is just this amazing REAL person and we are also very close and share a lot with each other....
There's something about these Cancer guys that I value!!!
What do cancer dudes think of Aries chicks? From our "too easy to get into bed-ness" to our "best friends-ness"...
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I dunno, sometimes just ploughing into someone would work. I wouldn't say it's all sweetness and rainbows from the get go, but I also would think they should be offended if the person asks 'do you do this with all the boys ?' etc 🙂
sooo true. it can be done, you just have to keep your emotions in check. and ofc, focus on out-of-the-bedroom activities, too. 😉
and as for the guy asking, 'do you do this with all the boys?'
'but of course not. you were just that special i had to have you' *flutters eyelashes*
but seriously, some men are traditional that way, and would prefer to wait for sex. i say, it's down to the individual. hold out on sex, then when it happens *bang* their interest is gone (in some cases). it's a double edged sword, but ultimately always down to choice. i don't think it's a huge no-no, just be sure the dude isn't a douche.
one other thing: my friend had a similar situation. after her and the guy slept together the first time, they spent time just hanging out, talking etc and ended up in a really sweet relationship. it depends on where you're coming from and how you go about it, really. no emotion loaded histronics. no games, no manipulation. you blatantly find each other attractive, now you get to build on that attraction! and that's kinda fun 😉
'but of course not. you were just that special i had to have you' *flutters eyelashes*
but seriously, some men are traditional that way, and would prefer to wait for sex. i say, it's down to the individual. hold out on sex, then when it happens *bang* their interest is gone (in some cases). it's a double edged sword, but ultimately always down to choice. i don't think it's a huge no-no, just be sure the dude isn't a douche.
one other thing: my friend had a similar situation. after her and the guy slept together the first time, they spent time just hanging out, talking etc and ended up in a really sweet relationship. it depends on where you're coming from and how you go about it, really. no emotion loaded histronics. no games, no manipulation. you blatantly find each other attractive, now you get to build on that attraction! and that's kinda fun 😉
Well I'm an Aries involved in a LTR with a cancer and I have to say, had we both not been virgins and deathly afraid of pregnancy when I met him, the same thing might have happened. We just have an insane physical attraction. Our first "dates" were very long cuddle sessions. *shrugs*
What men don't like are girls that say shit like "I wanna be abstinent because I'm religious" and then sleep with them anyways. It's undermining a core belief you have, which means you don't really have any. Or you aren't a real/honest person.
Even saying something like, "I don't like to have sex fast in a relationship." isn't that bad because if you do, he may just think he changed your mind 😉
As far as what you should do now, I'd say really focus on getting to know him. Pay attention to weak spots in his confidence. You can joke about him sometimes (I'm so blunt this is one of the harder parts of our relationship) but avoid stuff that he really seems to care about (acne, family problems, etc) like the plague.
If you do slip and say something, he'll probably make it known that he's hurt. It's upto you to realize why and apologize if you want the relationship to work. The faster you apologize, the more likely he is to see it was sincerely a mistake. He's also more apt to believe it if you never make the same mistake again. Never apologize if you didn't think you were in the wrong though (but explain why).
Discern when he is opening up to you and saying something so personal he has most likely never told anyone else, or just a few close friends. These are the times when you should never make a joke, because he might get afraid to open up to you again.
Never play games with him. Always explain thoroughly why you are feeling a certain way and what he can do to help. Always be honest. Build trust.
Our relationship is amazing because he is the exact opposite of me as a person, but we have a lot of common interests, friends, and hobbies. If you guys don't like to do any of the same things (we love military simulation, fishing, hiking, building sand castles and otherwise doing things we never got to do as children, eating, sleeping, playing with each others genitals, complimenting each other, etc.) you probably won't last. That's the best part of our relationship, and the first thing I think about when I have any doubts or feel a small fight coming on.
What men don't like are girls that say shit like "I wanna be abstinent because I'm religious" and then sleep with them anyways. It's undermining a core belief you have, which means you don't really have any. Or you aren't a real/honest person.
Even saying something like, "I don't like to have sex fast in a relationship." isn't that bad because if you do, he may just think he changed your mind 😉
As far as what you should do now, I'd say really focus on getting to know him. Pay attention to weak spots in his confidence. You can joke about him sometimes (I'm so blunt this is one of the harder parts of our relationship) but avoid stuff that he really seems to care about (acne, family problems, etc) like the plague.
If you do slip and say something, he'll probably make it known that he's hurt. It's upto you to realize why and apologize if you want the relationship to work. The faster you apologize, the more likely he is to see it was sincerely a mistake. He's also more apt to believe it if you never make the same mistake again. Never apologize if you didn't think you were in the wrong though (but explain why).
Discern when he is opening up to you and saying something so personal he has most likely never told anyone else, or just a few close friends. These are the times when you should never make a joke, because he might get afraid to open up to you again.
Never play games with him. Always explain thoroughly why you are feeling a certain way and what he can do to help. Always be honest. Build trust.
Our relationship is amazing because he is the exact opposite of me as a person, but we have a lot of common interests, friends, and hobbies. If you guys don't like to do any of the same things (we love military simulation, fishing, hiking, building sand castles and otherwise doing things we never got to do as children, eating, sleeping, playing with each others genitals, complimenting each other, etc.) you probably won't last. That's the best part of our relationship, and the first thing I think about when I have any doubts or feel a small fight coming on.
i love my aries friend (female), always had, we both have a physical/ mutual attraction, but already in a relationship.
@ highlander: It's so cool that (I'm assuming you're a cancer...—) cancer guys adore us as much as we adore you guys! As mentioned before: I have two male cancerian friends who I care for deeply and I know who care for me too. There is still a mutual physical attraction from my side with at least one of them, not too sure what the other one thinks, but we did end up messing around several times until we put our friendship ahead of anything that could end one day, so maybe he is still attracted to me.
I hope this new cancer guy is just as great as the other two (or greater!!)! I may put my commitment phobic issues on the back burner for him and give another relationship a go though if I got to know him and decided he was worth getting the best of me out. I just hope he wants to get to know me too and not write me off pretty much straight away for already having slept with me!!! I'm worth getting to know, just like I think he may be worth getting to know!
You know what I'm speaking about tho. My two cancer guy friends: they get to see the best of me. Cancer guys have been the only ones who I've let see the best of me, because they've been the only ones who deserve to get it. REAL KEEPERS!!! Everyone else just gets to see the energetic ball of chaos... lol.
I would love to find a romantic relationship with someone like them. Luckily, getting to know you guys is half the fun of it! Good, clean, pure fun... and companionship... the companionship is tender, trusting and amazing! And what a bunch of gents! So respectful of women! Your mamas raised you right, and I already love her for that too!
I hope this new cancer guy is just as great as the other two (or greater!!)! I may put my commitment phobic issues on the back burner for him and give another relationship a go though if I got to know him and decided he was worth getting the best of me out. I just hope he wants to get to know me too and not write me off pretty much straight away for already having slept with me!!! I'm worth getting to know, just like I think he may be worth getting to know!
You know what I'm speaking about tho. My two cancer guy friends: they get to see the best of me. Cancer guys have been the only ones who I've let see the best of me, because they've been the only ones who deserve to get it. REAL KEEPERS!!! Everyone else just gets to see the energetic ball of chaos... lol.
I would love to find a romantic relationship with someone like them. Luckily, getting to know you guys is half the fun of it! Good, clean, pure fun... and companionship... the companionship is tender, trusting and amazing! And what a bunch of gents! So respectful of women! Your mamas raised you right, and I already love her for that too!
Posted by lotuslily
@ highlander: It's so cool that (I'm assuming you're a cancer...—) cancer guys adore us as much as we adore you guys! As mentioned before: I have two male cancerian friends who I care for deeply and I know who care for me too. There is still a mutual physical attraction from my side with at least one of them, not too sure what the other one thinks, but we did end up messing around several times until we put our friendship ahead of anything that could end one day, so maybe he is still attracted to me.
I hope this new cancer guy is just as great as the other two (or greater!!)! I may put my commitment phobic issues on the back burner for him and give another relationship a go though if I got to know him and decided he was worth getting the best of me out. I just hope he wants to get to know me too and not write me off pretty much straight away for already having slept with me!!! I'm worth getting to know, just like I think he may be worth getting to know!
You know what I'm speaking about tho. My two cancer guy friends: they get to see the best of me. Cancer guys have been the only ones who I've let see the best of me, because they've been the only ones who deserve to get it. REAL KEEPERS!!! Everyone else just gets to see the energetic ball of chaos... lol.
I would love to find a romantic relationship with someone like them. Luckily, getting to know you guys is half the fun of it! Good, clean, pure fun... and companionship... the companionship is tender, trusting and amazing! And what a bunch of gents! So respectful of women! Your mamas raised you right, and I already love her for that too!
you know cancerians and arians complement each other with our opposite personality. we have a sort of dependence, you guys the independence, and we are bit shallow, and you guys are outgoing. like they say opposites attract. the sex is a 9/10 for this couple. but long term seems to be a problem, I've known one couple who went as far as 15 years together, which is out of the ordinary, cause this relationship usually lasts between 1-5 years from what I've researched. but don't let statistics stop your dreams. and oh yes we cancerians have been raised right, My parents for example are both aries 😆 !!
Highlander, Well aren't you just charming ? 😉 You know how we love a good ego stroking :p
So how do you think I should remedy my situational dilemma? I have since asked him if he'd like to come out twice since then (to get to know each other and because I wanted to have fun and everyone else just wanted to chill) and has very politely declined both invitations. Once due to work project due the next night and the other due to family dinner, but has wished me a good evening on both accounts with sort of 'see you soon' messages at the end..... where to from here? I'd feel too desperate asking him a third time!
So how do you think I should remedy my situational dilemma? I have since asked him if he'd like to come out twice since then (to get to know each other and because I wanted to have fun and everyone else just wanted to chill) and has very politely declined both invitations. Once due to work project due the next night and the other due to family dinner, but has wished me a good evening on both accounts with sort of 'see you soon' messages at the end..... where to from here? I'd feel too desperate asking him a third time!
I think Aries women rub Cancer men the wrong way with ur slightly inflated ego at first but can turn out to be a nice relationship once we see you are as vulnerable as we are and that you use your ego as a protection mechanism.
But in your situation he is pissed you cut the sex off more than anything. In our mind, once you have given us something,no taking it back. I have always found myself highly offended at this even though the woman does that usually because they like me and don't want it to be all about sex.
Posted by HighTide
But in your situation he is pissed you cut the sex off more than anything. In our mind, once you have given us something,no taking it back. I have always found myself highly offended at this even though the woman does that usually because they like me and don't want it to be all about sex.
I didn't cut sex off. I told him that it was important for me to make new friends in this city as I'm new and don't know many people and that although I'm not against bed stuff happening again, I really need to establish a reliable support system...
I can't ask again though... It would take away from the lady likeness I was enjoying from him. Guess there's nothing I can do hey? Such a bummer! He really does seem great.
Posted by lotuslilyPosted by HighTide
But in your situation he is pissed you cut the sex off more than anything. In our mind, once you have given us something,no taking it back. I have always found myself highly offended at this even though the woman does that usually because they like me and don't want it to be all about sex.
I didn't cut sex off. I told him that it was important for me to make new friends in this city as I'm new and don't know many people and that although I'm not against bed stuff happening again, I really need to establish a reliable support system...
I can't ask again though... It would take away from the lady likeness I was enjoying from him. Guess there's nothing I can do hey? Such a bummer! He really does seem great.click to expand
@ hightide "come on, we don't think about sex all the time in a relationship", even if we had many flirtatious planets in our chart, thats not what makes us all.
@lotuslily, we are complicated people, and one thing is for sure is you will never know what we will think up of next 🙂,
he maybe playing the water sign game, at which he will pretend not to be too into you, but in realty he can't get enough of you, especially if he sent you a reply message stated he will see you again some time soon.
-second he could have really gotten a project and a family dinner that he could not pass upon, and it mean't some importance to him
-he maybe feeling the big "saturn transit" in our chart, and it's keeping him/us on check, limited his/our desires, so he wants to chill out and keep it real for a while.
-you should definitely learn his chart, and send it to this forum. and we can explain in better detail.
-good luck
Posted by highlanderPosted by lotuslily
@ hightide "come on, we don't think about sex all the time in a relationship", even if we had many flirtatious planets in our chart, thats not what makes us all.
Sex is a very important part for a Cancer Man, it isn't everything, but very significant for our self worth,etc.
and I didn't read in between the lines enough on the OP first post, I apologize 😢
It's okay Hightide 🙂 Happens to the best of us. And trust me -- as an Aries female: sex is probably even more important to us than it is for most of the men in the zodiac.... with the exception of Leo men! I think Aries women and Leo men have met their match in that department! hahaha!
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I recently found a VERY tasty looking crab man on fb who has quite a few mutual friends here in the same city as me. We both have the same interests, like the same music, etc... Before even talking to him for the first time on fb, he began liking my statuses and posts of pics I had put up and commenting on some of my threads. So, being that I am quite new in this city and would really love to meet more people and make new friends, I decided to start chatting to him.
We had a brief chat one day and then he was leaving to go home from work and said I should keep in touch. So like 2 days later, the weekend arrived and all my usual friends were out of town so I sent him a message asking him what he was up to that night. He invited me out with him and his friends to a club, we had a great time: drinking, dancing, good times.
At the end of the night, we're all waiting for cabs home and his friends said i could go in the cab with them. He said "no you don't want to go with them, rather come with me" so ok -- We get near his place and then he says we should all go inside for drinks at his place. Still NO IDEA if he even into me!
We're in his apartment, we're all having drinks, listening to music and then i think that maybe i'm starting to overstay my welcome cuz its getting late. so i excuse myself and go to the bathroom.
When I come back he's put his friend to bed on the sofa and I ask him if I should leave. He says nothing. He just walks into his bedroom. Being an Aries girl who thinks this guy is a hottie.... I do what all Aries girls would do: I follow :p
Next thing I know, we're lying in his bed, talking nicely, laughing a bit, lying very close to each other, one thing leads to another, we're kissing and he's telling me after some heat builds up that he think we need to have sex.
I tell him that altho i'm enjoyin myself, this is not what my intention was for the night (actually -- it may have well been -- i remember getting dressed before going out and putting nice knickers on... JUST IN CASE!) and that I needed people to be friends with in this city and he assures me -- we'll be friends. So it happened. Next day he drops me off at home. Now, I want to know if it's possible to still catch him after having sex with him the first time I met him!
TYPICAL ARIES FEMALE