how to get my cancer man back?? help!

I am a leo woman and I was in a serious relationship with a Cancer man for almost 2 years. Sometime in the middle of the relationship he broke up with me and exactly 1 month later he came begging me to take him back. We've had our share of arguements and everytime I threatened to break up with him he came crawling back. Once we began fighting and arguing sooo often I decided that we really needed time apart and I broke up with him. The next day I called him and picked up my stuff... he admitted to me that he was hoping I was actually coming by to get back together with him. He even called in sick to work because I guess it had a huge impact on him. After a couple of months passed I realized I was in love with him and we went out for coffee and I tried to get back with him. He told me he isn't sure what he wants and he doesn't know if he still loves me.

After being broken up with him for about 6 months I got with a new guy who I was with for only 4 months. I broke it off with the new guy because I am still crazy in love with the ex (cancer). My ex knows that I am single now and we talk once in a while but only when we run into one another on campus. I'm dying to get him back but I'm afraid of getting rejected. What should I do. How should I approach everything? Ohh and I forgot to mention his parents no longer want him to have anything to do with me...

YO check it.. He's a cancer... You don't need much strat to get him back. because he'll be crawling back. And that's a fact because he's a cancer. So bust a mack attack on this cancer you want back. YoyoyoyoyOYoYoyOyOoooooo I can rap!
we'll not really I just bullshit rap..

I'm a cancer and I some times play hard to get but really I'm not. Because I still like her. I like the attention. We wont go to far with the hard to get act tho. Here's my advice.. have you seen friends? huh huh? well. Alright listen very carefully for I am about to tell you a secret on how to get your man back.. just say

How you dooooin. with a flirt smile works every timmmmmme! if you don't know how its done watch Joey do how he do.

Ok thanks that helps... but do you think the fact that I broke up with him and then got with a new guy after like 6 months will affect anything. Is the fact that I had a bf for 4 months after we broke up gonna affect him wanted to get back with me or not. How do I prove to him that I love him. What can I say?

go for it and get him back, don't think negative, i know that he wasn't happy about you getting another guy but you should not let that be in the way....with cancers you have to show them first, then back your actions up with words...you need to get him to trust you first then it is easy. i'd say that you should be slightly flirty to start of with and then ask him out......you know the rest!!!he felt rejected so don't expect that he will be crawling over from day one, he needs time.i wish you the best of luck, f you need more insite don't hesitate to ask, everybody deserves to be happy(we all make mistakes and may take wrong decisions thatcan be fixed)....

Scorpio thank you so much! He had issues trusting me while we were together (he always suspected that I had something going on with an ex-coworker i no longer talk to). He would always check my phone and stuff... He is 22 and lives at home with his parents who never want to see me in their house again. So its really dificult I think. And I only broke up with the guy of 4 months 2 days ago. Do I give it time before I approach him?? How much time? The reason I broke up with the guy is because I love my ex and he is the only person I truly want to be with. Thanks!

oh bmwlove, i can feel your emotion, and i am sure that he can feel it too, and that helps a lot: cancers sense you before you even get to open your mouth or even when you're not together!!!you need to make it obvious that you are single now, but make sure you stick around, be flirty.....then keep it at the same pase till you can actually get a sign from him, do not respond with rejection if he rejects you, just hang on there and make it obvious what a lovely person you are!!!then ask him out...if you have common friends you can drop some hints to them and i am sure he will get the message!if you need more help please let me know and remember he should not feel any kind of hesitation at all, otherwise he will withdraw in his shell and it will take him longer to decide....i reallyhope i can be of some help

We don't really have any mutual friends (they were all mutual up until we broke up). I talked to one of his friends yesterday and i asked him how my ex is doing and he said "he's solid, he is partying" soo lol that was a bit awkward to hear. I feel like he might be a easily influenced type of guy and if his family and friends don't approve he wont bother but i dunno for sure. I did try getting him back before but he wasnt for it. I know he has not moved on 100% at all. We talked last week when we ran into each other at school and it went pretty well i would say. he even brought up some old funny good memories we shared. He even went as far as saying "we were pretty much married". He's come chasing after me prob 5 times in the past, that was ALWAYS his role. Thats even how we got together to begin with... and a while back he mentioned that for once he would want me to go chasing after him. But taking his advice months back and doing so didnt work. So i am sord of at a loss. He has made it clear that he would not mind a relationship but he hasnt been looking after our break up. He hasnt found the right girl. Is it at all possible he still wants me—

now i can understand why he hasn't initiated any chase, you really hurt him!!!cancers can be very influenced by family and friends!!!cancer men love to chase, so you need to somehow get him in that situation too.of course he would mention memories like so, they always live in the past, especially that it was a good situation.be careful cancers can say a lot of things just to test you, and to see your reaction!!!at the moment i think he is still hiding in his shell which is understandable.i'd say that there is still hope but take it slow, don't force things or confront him with things, it is too soon for him....

Yea I'm not good at this... I'm a weird cancer. Oh and not all cancers look up to there families. I'm a one man army that stuff about use being a mummzy boy is not true to "this" cancer. Anyway Look at his moon sign. Also Scorpio how do you know so much about cancers? Oh hey BMW. Bump into him and touch him when you talk to him with a smile. tell him he looks good or something.. Shit that's how this Aries girl got my attention and wanting more of it. Check out what I wrote on the Aries wall.

Leokitten, thanks for your advice... but u see I feel like the new relationship was a huge mistake altogether, i wasnt at all over the cancer ex, not even close. I guess i just thought it might make it easier to move on but of course i was very wrong. i only miss him more and there isnt a day that goes by where i dont think about him. my heart goes crazy when we see each other, and he's admitted that he gets that same feeling (we ran into one another last week and talked for 3 hours).

Shishno thank you too, its really nice to hear the input of another cancer male. As far as touching him and smiling i did that. He asked me when we saw each other last week if i liked his new hair cut and i ran my hand thru his head which he seemed to love bcuz he instantly asked me to do it again and we laughed. We then walked back to my car and he put his arm around me for like 2 mins while we walked and it was like the best feeling in the world for me. I felt amazing. He was telling me how he's lost weight and then went on to lift his shirt up to prove it and he wanted me to "feel" his abs LOL... so what does this all mean? go for it?

hey, if hewasn't interested he would not even talk to you let alone wanteing to be touched by you, he is initiating the chase, you need to boost his confidence, you need to assure him that what he is doing is the right thing and that you're there for him, i guess you'll have to keep on bumping to each other like this for a while but don't expect him to take the initiative of asking you out......ask his help with something they like to please/help, he will not say no!!!the answer to your question is:yes, go for it!!!!!

oh my god, please excuse my spelling mistakes....i.e....wanting

on a separate note i think that the arguments that you had were based on a thing called "power struggle", cancers love to dominate and control and leos tend to have a problem with that, one of my best friends was in an 8 year relationship with a cancer guy, all nice and everything apart from these characteristics that drove her crazy, my cancer guy is like that too but unlike her i like it, it makes me feel safe and loved!!!if you get back together i suggest you talk about things that you tend to argue about, you both need to respect each other boundaries and it will work, you can't always get your way, anyway it becomes boring if you do....communication is vital in a relationship as well as mutual respect.however if leokitten is right about "the list with exes" (she tends to be right most of the time, i can tell you from experience)then you are fighting a lost battle because he already sensed it....

Your inn.. Nuff said. Only time will tell until her gets the courage to ask you out.. Us cancers plan things out first how to say it when to say it. Also we would plan so much and think to much we sometimes worry of rejection and never fall threw with the plan. Or you can ask him casually that your going out for a bite. Ask him to join you. and say Come with me. If he likes you he will ditch what ever he had plans that day just to be with you. If he says he has to do something and sounds depressed about it.. Wait a couple of minutes for his call.. He will be sure not to disappoint and show up no matter what! Lets just say I ditch a Audition for a girl... Tho I'm different my Libra moon is a big influence. tho my ascendant in Gemini gives me a witty personality that some people would just find me annoying or funny depending on the person. for example Ashton Kutcher is a ascendant in Gemini.. Good luck with your cancer. Your as good as inn. You have him dreaming of you! We may look like we play hard to get but we are not. There is fast and there is to fast you want to move in casual fast were you look like your still playing hard to get but not. We enjoy the flirt contact and the eye with a smile game. So every time you see him give him a sweet smile that will drop him on his knees. This Aries girl does it to me ALL THE TIME. And she just makes my day a whole lot better. Even if I was having a very bad day that day.

Only time will tell until *he* not her.. Sorry typo wish I can edit these things..

Shishno,

Interesting feedback. Just wondering if you can say more about how cancer men like to play hard to get. Can you give examples? And where does it cross the line into fear and/or lack of interest vs playing hard to get?

WOW!!! THANK you guys sooo much...

Scorpio: Thanks for all of your support... "ask his help with something they like to please/help, he will not say no!!!" thats actually really funny bcuz i just had a really tough project to do for one of my classes which he already took prior. i had NOOO idea who to ask for help, so i asked him. i told him what i needed and he did it all for me (we never met up tho, he emailed it). however, i felt absolutely horrible/embarassed asking him for help. i dont want him to think that i only contact him when i need something. how can i prove that— today is thursday and i ALWAYS bump into him at school every thursday. so ive got like 6 hours to prepare, what should i do/say?

leokitten: the reason im soo confused and so scared of rejection is bcuz of what you say. youre being realistic and i appreciate that greatly. but i guess reality isnt always so nice/easy to accept. what do i have to lose at this point? hes not mine anymore... i guess the only thing holding me back is the thought of rejection, the pain, and maybe even my pride?

shishno: thank you! nice to hear a guys side... i smile all the time around him and flirt!! like crazy... but it kinda seems like he has trouble keeping eye contact on me. hes constantly looking down i dunno why.

Eh. Yea I have that problem sometimes.. He's shy. Take it as a good sign. I some times do it when a girl of interest is looking at me. And later I'm like. DAMNIT! Why did I look away! So I look back at her again only longer and then away to let her know I am interested. Tho I get my confidence from Libra moon.. SO I some times go with the flow if a girl looks at me and I smile. Some times I would feel silly and move both my eye brow and get them laughing. But yea HEEEE LIIIIKKKES YOUUOUUO. OOoOOoooOOoo. You got him. DO your thing babe. Caaaancer and leeeeo sitting in the tree f.u.c. I mean K.i.s.s.i.n.g? Good luck to you BOTH!

OK. To Ahmewzed?

We don't play hard to get.. Well I don't. we analyze study physically and physiologically.
We wanna know if there is signs of interest. We have our guard up just incase we are wrong about there feelings towards us. So that gives us a hard to get vibe when really all you have to do is ask us we love the chase but we also love it when girls ask us out. If your feeling a good vibe don't be afraid to tell or hint him how much you like him. He will do the rest and at that same day he will book some tickets or plan a romantic evening first before asking if you wanna go to a concert or grab a bite to eat. If you say no he will be sad and not go to the concert and just give them to a friend and not go out to eat. Instead he will sulk without anyone knowing it. Thus giving us our so called mood swings.. We may not show it but we get hurt buy little things. for example do not ignore him if you like him and think that's how your going to get your cancer man.. No way! He will analyze this and find another and yet still give you a bit of hope. A Gemini did this to me and I lost interest now she has no boy friend but I found someone new so to bad for her? Tease him we love the eye game and touch him every chance you get and complement him on little or goofy things. You will have us in no time. Oh and yea we love to show off out body to the girls we like (if in good shape). SO take it as a good sign if he talks about his body or show's you his abs or biceps. Hope this helps. This is all from my past experience on how I feel and felt in the past with girls. We fall in love quickly so do not ignore him for they will go for the next girl on there list. Oh and if you have a guy flirting with you go up to the cancer and start talking to him. He will also analyze this as maybe she wasn't interested if you continue a long conversation with other guys in front of him. Other then that were are not as jealous as the horoscopes say we are. But we can tell if another guy is flirting and our attitude is similar to the Aires when this happens. Oh and If we like you and we are with you and your having a bad day We (well I will) go up out of no wear and sweep you off your feet and say something like it would be out of the movies.. For example. ?I'm here for you? and I'd say her full name. Well something like that. It depends on the mood. But then again I'm different I get my influence from Libra moon so I live for this kind of stuff. I love to sweep a girl off her f

Humm. Never mind on you asking him out thing. Don't do it. We do like to be the ones to ask the girl since we work so hard at it.. SO yea let him ask you out. But if you do feel a good vibe and to ask him out do it! not questions asked. He would probably say something like. Hey you took the words out of my mouth. That's your key to say something like. Really what else can I take out of there... I dunno use your imagination. GOOD LUCK!

Oh and don't try not to baby him with nick names like.. sugar bear or some bullshit like that. Do not listen to the cancer horoscope rubbish. Well I prefer not to be babied. Makes me feel weak... I blew off this girl who babied me. I couldn't stand it! I am not a mommzy BOY! So do not take sun cancer horoscope seriously because I think the person who wrote that hates cancer's and wants to make us look bad. When really we are similar to Leo's. only Leo's not shy/outgoing but we have the same inner softness and cancers are more shy quite/outgoing (a bit weird how that works) attitude tho we both love to get attention. Well I dunno I could be wrong.. (hopefully a Leo could correct me if I'm wrong) I'm just talking from my perspective. I've notice some cancers can be all shy and not outgoing. It really do depends on the moon/ascendants signs.

What ev.

DO each his own.

I can say the same for you. lol sorry don't mean to sound sensitive. so Please don't take it the wrong way mspisces.

bmw i think you have your chance to hang out with him. tell him you want to pay him back for helping with your project by taking him out to dinner and drinks. this will let him know that you were not using him and you appreciate his efforts. plus we cancers love food so keep it casual and just be cool around him. we can sense desperation and for me that is a turn off although that still doesn't mean i wont bang her..lol. anyway, just be yourself and keep the pressure off by letting things happen as they may..good luck...

mspisces i agree. i am a momma's boy but that doesn't mean i won't beat your a $ $ if i have to..

My brother's a mama's boy, but he's an Aries.

They're real pussies, btw.

ummm... both?

Nah, a boy who is willing to kill over his mama is not be messed with. A boy who just snuggles and does her bidding can be easily handled.

Firecracker and everyone else thanks! All of this really helps... I just ran into him and we talked, we have finals next week and are both stressed out. He helped me the other day with my project and I wanna pay him back somehow. He is struggling to finish up a report that he has to turn in in a couple hours and I offered my help like 10 times but he says hes fine... i dunno. what move now?

Hmmm. that's a hard one. IF that was me I would have been smart and said yes and schedule a secret date if a girl asked to help with my project... That was an opportunity and he missed it! He is probably having a hard time doing his project because he is thinking of calling you every 5 min. Give it some time he will come through. 10 times wow. Don't do that again. just say it 1 or 3 times that's it. and tell him not be shy to call you for help. That takes off the pressure on him being indecisive from calling you for help. God this is a hard one.. Ummmm. Tho he likes you that's for sure! Give him a hug and a kiss on the cheeks and say. I never got a chance to thank you for your help the other day so thanks. well something like that. Your a Leo, your good at these things! But if that was me I would have caught on quickly. like the first bump smile and her talking to me 4 inches away from my face. But I still have my guard up. She still needs to prove her feelings more. For example keep me interested and a couple of weeks I will build up just enough info/courage to ask her out. Maybe your guy is the same way? We Are very scared of rejection and sometimes miss our opportunity... Tho I learned from my mistakes I've improved on them.. Cant believe he said no to your help? Hope this helps a bit. He is probably thinking the same thing.., Because if that was me that's what I'd be thinking . My left hand would have my cell phone at the ready and my right will be attempting to work on my project. Or this could be a possibility. He wants to work on it alone so he doesn't get distracted by you. Yea that's got to be it.

Alright well i'm finally home. I saw him like 3 separate times today and it didnt go too great. We talked for like 15 mins and he's like "I heard from someone that you arent in a relationship anymore." and i said ya and he asked why so i told him i just didnt see it going anywhere. then he asked me "why i didnt tell him we broke up...we talked like here and there yesterday when i was helping u with ur project but u didnt say anything" (i was sooo happy when he said that bcuz obviously he cares to know.

Then i ran into him and he was in the comp lab printing his project and he was bitching about how he had a huge headache and his report wasnt long enough... so i said "i offered u my help, i had a 2 hour break with nothing to do" and he snapped. he said "well i didnt need your help" and i just left... it didnt end too well. i hope he was just moody bcuz of stress and his headache. overall id say he had a bad day i dunno...

I agree with firecracker. Took the words right out of my mouth. Also now that he knows your single He's probably mad at himself that he didn't take you on that offer.

Alright so heres the update, and its not good lol...

Our last finals were on the 15th and I had a surgery scheduled for the following morning of the 16th (which he did know about!). So knowing that i usually bump into him at school at some point i avoided ALL of the possible places we could run into one another. I did that to kind of test and see if he would try to go out of his way to find me/talk to me and wish me luck on finals or even better my upcoming surgery. my friends all told me to hope for the best but expect the worst since obviously he's not my bf anymore i shouldn't really expect anything from him. I guess i just really needed to see what would happen, if anything because i just want a sign of how he might feel towards me. So the entire day passed, we didn't bump into each other, no calls or anything from him. I was leaving campus at 9pm and his car was still parked when i was pulling out.

The following morning i went into surgery and of course to no surprise, no word from him! Then yesterday, my 5th day in recovery... he IMes me online and asks about finals and all. We talk about 10 mins then he finally say "how was your operation?" i said it went really good and im recovering. He said, "i'm glad for you, thats cool" and i following by saying "i dont really believe you but thanks." (the reason i said that is because ive ALWAYS wanted a nose job and finally went thru with it. hes known about it all the time we've been together and always tried to talk me out of it saying i didnt need it.) So he then said "well i dont really care about it, but i know its what u wanted" He was SOOO unsupportive it really got me down. I was on vicodin at the time so it didnt really bother me but now im off the meds and im looking back on it and he was being pretty rude which is pretty unlike him. i dunno, all i really wanted was some care and support thats all. hes leaving for his best friends graduation which is 5 hrs away in san fransisco and wont be back for a week. things arent looking good, im really starting to feel like he IS over me and i should prob move on. Although i really really dont want to...

Patience would be the key here.......bcoz he has mentally prepared himself tht he wont give u a second chance to break his heart.......he isnt gonna start chasing u from the word go as he did before.......u wud have to win his heart all over again if u want him back........Be kind,sweet or do things which worked before......if he really likes u then his bad memories would start fading and love might spark again!!!I hope this would help........srry for being a bit negative!!!!Wish u luck dear...........

OK WOW there are a lot of updates! So cancer ex and i started talking again a little more consistently, we're not in school now so we dont bump into each other and talk. We message each other when we are online, we text/call each other almost every other day. And so we began hanging out. Everytime we see each other is pretty much at his place esp. now that his parents went out of town. One day he called me and said that he called in sick to work because he really wanted to see me. So i went on over there and he gave me this long speech about how much he really cares about me and my feelings. He wanted to make sure that i was ok with hanging out/potentially hooking up... and how i felt about starting all that up. We broke up exactly 1 yr ago.

So we both agreed that neither one of us are really looking to get back together or any other relationship. we just want to be friends and still be single a little while. just take it one day at a time. we both didnt want to begin anything if it would lead the other on to something. so weve hooked up about 5 times already and we have so much fun together, we love spending time together. his bday just passed too, and it was great! hes been telling his friends that we hang out now, which i think is a pretty big step (they werent too fond of how much time he spent with me back when we were together) but its been a yr and i think maybe theyve moved on haha. he even invited them over while i was over, and it wasnt awkard, it was actually really fun.

Im new to all this friends with benefits or whatever this is were doing... ive never ever hooked up with a guy who wasnt my bf, and i thought i could try it out. i didnt think i wanted to get back together with him, but strong feelings are def coming back and i might get attached. has anyone ever hooked up with a cancer male just as friends and had it eventually turn into a relationship? adviceeee please!!! thanks

AND.... maybe hes like a lot of other guys who will think to himself "why should i have a relationship with her if i can just hook up with her whenever, no strings attached" is this typical of cancer male mentality— anyone ever experience this with a cancer man? do tell! thanksssssssss

yes bmwlove, my ex was like that, all he wanted was "no strings attached", but it was my fault because i tolerated it!!!they tend to go for the easy way out....this one had his moon in gemini which says a lot...i think you can test that very easily...does he take initiative at all or chase you in a romantic way....?if there is things that you do not like in his approach towards you and if you are unhappy, he is not in it for the good reasons...

bmwlove,

In my own personal opinion-just mines and I am a Leo woman too, I would not lower my standards for no man- I don't do friends with benefits. You either want me and you are for sure I am what you want or don't bother wasting my time.

You know Leo women are very emotional and our feelings run deep. We don't freely share our feelings and let another person use or abuse them. You require first class "Queeness" or I would keep my distance and just dream about him for the rest of my life. I know it is very hard because our "gut level of attraction feelings" are very strong.

Just in my opinion-NO friends with benefits. A Cancer man will take you to town with that lower mentality.

scorpio, krobe, and leokitten thanks for your input, i can always count on your wise words and i really appreciate it!

he has told me that he has not hooked up seriously (no sex) with any girl since me and that means 1 yr... and i completely believe him! i know hes just been enjoying spending time with his guy friends, partying, drinking and all but i know hes being completely honest. he has not dated any girls and he has told me more than once that he cant really see himself with any girl aside from me. he also made it clear that he just doesnt meet girls who are very interesting, he doesnt care at all to get to know any new girl, and put in any effort for anything serious. i pretty strongly feel like there is potential in him budging into wanting to get back together with me but i think it would take months and i am absolutely fine with that. but in the mean time, i dont really wanna continue this whole friends with benefits thing weve been doing the past 3 weeks. i just feel like its either that or nothing (no friends without the benefits) and thats just really weird, its really disrespectful. there are days that he is over the top sweet/nice and then there are those moody days of his... typical cancer haha. soooo basically i want a relationship, hes made it clear he doesnt. i dont know if i should approach it now, or wait... and how to approach it?? im so confused. i dont want to get rejected, thats the bottomline.

do cancer men like to be chased?

I really dont think that cancers like to be chased... i think when they are interested enough in being with a certain person, they like to do the chasing themselves. my ex was chasing me for close to 6 months, even while i had a bf. he told me how he felt about me all the time and that there was nothing more he wanted except me. 2 weeks after i broke up with my bf, i got together with my cancer ex and we were happily together close to 2 yrs. we broke up once in between and when we got back together he was the one chasing me... however he has noticed and brought it to my attention more than once that everytime we got together it was a result of HIM chasing me... he said ive never chased after him. ironic he would say that because the one time i went after him, tried getting back together, he rejected me. so here we are 1 yr down the road just hooking up. and ive decided im done with it. im getting too attached and i want more, it is not fair to me whatsoever. if he doesnt want me as a gf thats fine. i wont be his friend with benefits. i thought something good might eventually come of it, but i realized today that my biggest fear had happened... we just had sex for the 1st time a few days ago, and hes went back to hiding in his cancer shell. clearly he got what he wanted and has refrained from having anything more. 😢

I spoke to my cancer today for the first time in a couple of days, and I kinda left a message on his voicemail, it wasn't a nasty, mean message just tellin him about himself....but I decided to be a woman about it and call him today, more so just to see if he was doing okay and he told me that he got my message and he left his phone somewhere, but he has it now (don't know how true that is)....

But I think that when I left that message he kind of went hiding in that shell lol, but I guess by me calling him and not letting my pride get the best of me showed him that I really do care because he sounded really happy to see me...now he's coming into town to see me today...

I wish my convo with my cancer ex went as well... his parents are still out of town so hes still got his house all to himself. i asked him what his plans were today (4th of july). and he said he was having a bbq get together at his place as he does every year. and i feel like the biggest idiot for asking... he did not invite me. wow this is not very pleasant to deal with. i have NO 4th of july plans whatsoever. every single one of my girlfriends is sharing the day with their significant other... its clear that he wants nothing to do with me now... he got what he wanted (the sex) and it looks like we are done... sucks.

leokitten, thank you sooo much! i respect myself to the fullest and trust me, he will see that... i may have slipped off the path for a short while. but baby i am right back on it! he can call, he can text, he can come begging... i am DONE! what a pathetic loser. karma is coming right up his alley haha.

BMW... by your post it just seems to be the way that Cancers are. My Cancer did me the same thing... he broke up with me for a month. But it gave me time to think where I went wrong. So when he came back, after a month without him I realised how much I cared about him, so I tried really hard to make things work. Cancers are very cautious with whom they give their hearts to... so they play the back and forth game. I learnt that this enables them to see how far the other person would go to get them back, or how much they would do to prove their love for them.

It takes patience to deal with them... but once you have their heart... you'll have it forever, but like Moon said... once a Cancer has made up their mind there is no turning back. Although according to your posts I don't see where you have really done anything wrong... I just think he felt rejected and is afraid that you'll cut him off again. Seems like he's trying to teach you a lesson and then also wanting you to chase him so that he can determine whether you really want him.

The decision is yours. He may come back... and if he does... be prepared for him to resort in his shell many times. However, if you feel like its just too much... then I would say... proudly move on with your life. But don't feel like dirt... you're not dirt. Cancers are weird like that... from what I have learned with mine... they'll give you something... then withhold it... just to prove a point. I don't think he slept with you and then didn't hang out with you to disrespect you (not giving him right for what he did),he is probably trying to regain control... so withdrawing makes him feel like he's in control... especially if you chase after him.

Good luck BMW!

I wouldn't accept his behavior but to each's own. He just laid it out for you in the first place and stated he wanted no relationship and you fell into his "trap". I am not trying to put you down and I know Leo women understand each other a little more than some other signs but don't allow yourself to be a friends with benefits.

Your Cancer man doesn't want you to be a friends with benefits and as I KNOW he will run you to town with a friends with benefits mentality. HE WANTS you to no lower yourself to the friends with benefits standard and require him to treat you like the first class woman you are. He doesn't want you to be easy for him to get, he wants to put in the work.

If you give him sex before he gives you some type of commitment, he will feel like he doesn't owe you a commitment. Don't try to change him to your ideal of the man you want him to be. Be very warm and inviting to him, don't reject him or treat him like dirt. LOL!

Just leave options open for other friends. You don't have to sleep with other men but it will take your mind off of him and you won't build up resentment. ALWAYS be warm and inviting to him and just flat out tell the man you have feelings. YOu are not fake, you are real and you cannot pretend having sex with him and friends with benefits does not hurt you. Cancer men are sensitive and he will pick up on your feelings but you have to let him know and YOU back off. Don't let him just have you without doing his part.

Oh yeah, he may be hiding in his shell too because you are putting to much meaning into what you to share right now. It is sort of like, he told you he wants no relationship but he can sense you want more so he is pulling away.

He is basically letting you know, he wants casual sex but nothing more. UM, NOPE, don't do it. Don't present yourself as a sexual contact and hope the relationship will change because once you fall into the friends with benefits sexual contact deal, it is basically HARD to get out of that category. You have to pretty upfront and honest with Cancer men or he will take you to town.

You have to pretty upfront and honest with Cancer men or he will take you to town.-I meant you have to be pretty upfront with him. I would just let him know I have feelings and I am not a toy and walk away. He will respect you alot more just being honest.

mooneyes, ladytaurus, and krobe... thank you!!!

so as far as updates, he had his little 4th of july bbq and i saw the pics already up on facebook... it was about 5 girls/5 guys nothing big. looked kinda boring lol... plus im not fond of any of the girls who were there! and they were all pretty much couples (i bet that made him feel great)... my 4th of july actually went really really great! last minute i went to a good friends bbq and had an absolutely amazing time!!! with lots of pics that went up as well.

so he called me on july 9 during his lunch break at work which was really shocking to see, but kind of pleasant. im glad he waited till after the weekend to call because it really gave me time to cool off and by then i was perfectly fine with everything. and it was relieving to have him call me because i thought he was just gonna withdraw complete contact with me after the sex went down. so i answer just casually, being really nice. he said that he just wanted to call me and see whats up how i was doing and all. we talked for 15 mins, he was trying to figure out where to go eat. he even told me that he saw my new pics from 4th of july and asked me like 1908950 questions because he has no idea who any of the ppl in the pics are. it seems like he cares.

the next day i needed to stop by his house to pick up a book i need for my class, he told me i could borrow it. so i came by, he told me i looked great. we talked outside his house (he doesnt invite me in, parents dont like me). it was funny, as were standing outside, his dad came out to take the dog for a walk. i could tell my ex felt awkward knowing that his parents dont like me and all. but the dog ran over to see me and was sooo excited and the dad came up to us. i said hi, how are you. and that was that. honestly, it wasnt really awkward for me at all, i dunno about him tho.

so thats pretty much that. i am going on vacation tomorrow to visit my best friend who goes to school at university of arizona. he knows im going. soooo we'll see how things are when i get back in a couple days. hopefully things start to look up. and if we're ever in a hooking up situation i will tell him that i cant do the friends with benefits/casual sex thing. i refuse to be that easy to reach. but i dont thing id bring it up unless we were actually in the "moment" haha.

Alright so Ive been back from my little vacation a week already. He sent me a quick IM online asking me if i was back home yet while i was in arizona. by the time i saw the message he had signed off. i figured even better, at least he'll know im having a good time. besides he asked me before i left when id be back so im sure he knew i wasnt back yet. i really want to talk to him/see him but i really dont want to be the one to contact him simply because before i left i was the one contacting him the last couple times. he never wished me a safe flight or even a good trip even tho he brought the topic up several times. plus everytime he's gone on trips over the last couple of months i send him a quick text wishing him a good trip. i dont know why i want to hear from him so bad, its all ive been thinking about the last couple days. should i call him? or just wait it out? how do cancers think, if i just decide to wait will he take it as i dont care? HELP!

Alright so its been a while but i need some advice again. Things have been pretty confusing with my cancer ex lately. Weve seen each other a couple of times over the past month. He's invited me out with him and his friends once. For my bday, he called me at 1am (2nd person) to wish me a happy birthday. Didnt see me/offer to take me out or anything. He's been texting me more than usual just asking what im up to/whats new.
I've really been noticing lately that he has been single over a yr already and unlike me, he seems to be acting more immature as he's getting older which i find really weird. I feel like since we split ive grown/matured a good amount... with him i dont see that being the case unfortunately. He has one friend who he wasnt so close with before. its one of his very few single friends. this friend of his is rude, obnoxious, extremely immature, and very available to party/drink/hit on girls. He's become practically attached at the hip to this "friend" and when their together their constantly acting childish and just talking about random girls they meet. He knew that i was in vegas this weekend on a work trip. and he decided to inform me that he was heading out to vegas my last night there. while i was there he texted me saying hes on his way to vegas with this friend. They stayed in the SAME hotel as me. and i figured because he told me he was on his way to vegas, he would wanna chill with me. However, no call/nothing! i have not heard from him since.

i think its quite obvious he is enjoying his single life and prob doesnt really have feelings for me like he used to. but why continue contacting me? why tell me youre in vegas when i am? is this a sick game? what should i do, should i talk to him. despite everything he does i cant get him out of my mind. i dont think ill ever feel about any guy the way i feel about him. 😢