pisces123
@pisces123
10 Years
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How to open his heart again
I answered him and he said "i want to believe you and in fact i do.I know that despite of the identity crisis,our relationship has been otherwise very real and deep which is why he's still here talking to me,willing to make us work.Although, it's just the human psychology.An injured man tends to be overprotective". I empathize with him and i want to help us move on. Want to be able to open his heart once again. Any suggestion/advice is appreciated !! 🙂
Coming from my perspective, once the doubt of trust has been planted with solid evidence to back it up, it's next to impossible to change that. Someone pulling a stunt like that would be on probation for a very long time, and every little action would be scrutinized to the fullest, whether or not you realize you're being scrutinized. If anything else shows that there's repeat distrustful behavior, and not just towards me, but to others, and eventually that person gets pushed to the curb forever.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
Good thing...
1- He has disposition to try, but be aware there was a damage on the trust... unrepairable? I don't know! but that will come up if moment arise so be prepare... cancer never forgets...
2- he recognize the emotional connection over the fact that persona he though he was talking to is not existent... thats is great thing indeed.
As advice (not an expert) but it will basically summarize the 1000 advices all over this board.
1- Be very consistent (treat him no different than before, as this never happen)
2- Build sort of a thick skin, regardless he is willing to try, there will be moments of moodiness and he could go on his shell to think and reflect for no apparent reason.
3- Be very patient, very very patient, you will not understand most of his reactions sometimes.
4- Don't beat of yourself on guilt to much, you already apologize and working on doing the right thing, you are human we all do stupid mistake as wrong as it was, he has given you another chance, it means you might burn one of you "lives" (like video games) but remember cancers only allow only so much... the amount of them will be different on a cancer by cancer base.
5- You will probably need to be conscious of your actions and words, like your are under scrutiny because you are and god knows for how long.
6- Be loving
7- Be confident about yourself, and show him who really are.
8- Don't become a doormat just because you made a mistake, he will lose respect.
9- And communicate direct and honest, but in a loving way.
10- Good luck!!
1- He has disposition to try, but be aware there was a damage on the trust... unrepairable? I don't know! but that will come up if moment arise so be prepare... cancer never forgets...
2- he recognize the emotional connection over the fact that persona he though he was talking to is not existent... thats is great thing indeed.
As advice (not an expert) but it will basically summarize the 1000 advices all over this board.
1- Be very consistent (treat him no different than before, as this never happen)
2- Build sort of a thick skin, regardless he is willing to try, there will be moments of moodiness and he could go on his shell to think and reflect for no apparent reason.
3- Be very patient, very very patient, you will not understand most of his reactions sometimes.
4- Don't beat of yourself on guilt to much, you already apologize and working on doing the right thing, you are human we all do stupid mistake as wrong as it was, he has given you another chance, it means you might burn one of you "lives" (like video games) but remember cancers only allow only so much... the amount of them will be different on a cancer by cancer base.
5- You will probably need to be conscious of your actions and words, like your are under scrutiny because you are and god knows for how long.
6- Be loving
7- Be confident about yourself, and show him who really are.
8- Don't become a doormat just because you made a mistake, he will lose respect.
9- And communicate direct and honest, but in a loving way.
10- Good luck!!
Oh persistence and tenacity without being all over him and clingy... he needs freedom to breathe and think and be...
and also acknowledge as possibility that after all this maybe he will come and tell you, you know what this doesn't work for me. try to keep your expectations in line, don't go to Pisces lala land. (I'm an expert on that)
Don't blew this on up!!!!.
and also acknowledge as possibility that after all this maybe he will come and tell you, you know what this doesn't work for me. try to keep your expectations in line, don't go to Pisces lala land. (I'm an expert on that)
Don't blew this on up!!!!.
Posted by MoonArtist
Coming from my perspective, once the doubt of trust has been planted with solid evidence to back it up, it's next to impossible to change that. Someone pulling a stunt like that would be on probation for a very long time, and every little action would be scrutinized to the fullest, whether or not you realize you're being scrutinized. If anything else shows that there's repeat distrustful behavior, and not just towards me, but to others, and eventually that person gets pushed to the curb forever.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
Lets just say what she did was systematically wrong, unapologetic... and yeah the trust might be deeply shatter, yeah she will definitely be on long sentence of probation...
But you need to be nice, i know trust is everything, if only cancers realize (some people) deserve a chance once or twice... not everything in life is black and white... remember that cancer people are humans and you guys mess up too and you shit stink as well, so if you where in a similar situation you would probably would like the other person to give you another chance to prove yourself
Posted by fullwaterpiscesPosted by MoonArtist
Coming from my perspective, once the doubt of trust has been planted with solid evidence to back it up, it's next to impossible to change that. Someone pulling a stunt like that would be on probation for a very long time, and every little action would be scrutinized to the fullest, whether or not you realize you're being scrutinized. If anything else shows that there's repeat distrustful behavior, and not just towards me, but to others, and eventually that person gets pushed to the curb forever.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
Lets just say what she did was systematically wrong, unapologetic... and yeah the trust might be deeply shatter, yeah she will definitely be on long sentence of probation...
But you need to be nice, i know trust is everything, if only cancers realize (some people) deserve a chance once or twice... not everything in life is black and white... remember that cancer people are humans and you guys mess up too and you shit stink as well, so if you where in a similar situation you would probably would like the other person to give you another chance to prove yourselfclick to expand
We do make mistakes, but because we know how much some things hurt, and how hard it is to win trust back, we tend to be more careful about how we treat people. I would never in a million years catfish someone, unless it was an enemy and I was purposely setting them up for something.
@fullwaterpisces,love you for those inputs!! What I did is something I am ashamed of to even share with my close ones so its the first time after 5 days that I have finally gotten to hear a positive but practical advise.Don't know if it's a pisces thing but I am a person who has to share the pain with someone somehow else it gives me a chest pain.Just cant sulk alone.
You made some really good points there.Yeah,we again started discussing "us" out of no where. We have been doing that each time we chat.He has been repeatedly saying "I am willing to give us a second chance but you shouldnt be overly optimistic and consider all possible outcomes.That feeling,that bond,the intimacy might come back or it might not.I am only thinking with my head right now because my heart is shut.It might open again or it might not.Let's allow ourselves time and heal the pain and then see what we discover". We have been having long discussions JUST over this. He keeps saying these things and i keep writing explanations stating that i am confident that we'll rebuild what we lost and give long reasoning persuading him to realize why we can. He says he's agrees with all that i am saying but doesnt want me to be too optimistic since i'll get hurt again if things dont turn out that way.
Like you said,cancer never forgets and that's the worst part about my situation. HE HAS AN EXTRAORDINARY MEMORY!! And i know that memories(our talks,fun times,intimate times,photo girl's face,the lie) haunt him and that's something which might not help him move on sooner.
You made some really good points there.Yeah,we again started discussing "us" out of no where. We have been doing that each time we chat.He has been repeatedly saying "I am willing to give us a second chance but you shouldnt be overly optimistic and consider all possible outcomes.That feeling,that bond,the intimacy might come back or it might not.I am only thinking with my head right now because my heart is shut.It might open again or it might not.Let's allow ourselves time and heal the pain and then see what we discover". We have been having long discussions JUST over this. He keeps saying these things and i keep writing explanations stating that i am confident that we'll rebuild what we lost and give long reasoning persuading him to realize why we can. He says he's agrees with all that i am saying but doesnt want me to be too optimistic since i'll get hurt again if things dont turn out that way.
Like you said,cancer never forgets and that's the worst part about my situation. HE HAS AN EXTRAORDINARY MEMORY!! And i know that memories(our talks,fun times,intimate times,photo girl's face,the lie) haunt him and that's something which might not help him move on sooner.
Posted by fullwaterpisces
As advice (not an expert) but it will basically summarize the 1000 advices all over this board.
1- Be very consistent (treat him no different than before, as this never happen)
2- Build sort of a thick skin, regardless he is willing to try, there will be moments of moodiness and he could go on his shell to think and reflect for no apparent reason.
3- Be very patient, very very patient, you will not understand most of his reactions sometimes.
4- Don't beat of yourself on guilt to much, you already apologize and working on doing the right thing, you are human we all do stupid mistake as wrong as it was, he has given you another chance, it means you might burn one of you "lives" (like video games) but remember cancers only allow only so much... the amount of them will be different on a cancer by cancer base.
5- You will probably need to be conscious of your actions and words, like your are under scrutiny because you are and god knows for how long.
6- Be loving
7- Be confident about yourself, and show him who really are.
8- Don't become a doormat just because you made a mistake, he will lose respect.
9- And communicate direct and honest, but in a loving way.
10- Good luck!!
1 - I will try to remain affectionate as before.We both still express our care. I told him today that he's my gem and i love him no matter what even if he doesnt feel the same for me anymore.
2- yea,i see the thing about him overthinking too much. He has been harsh too but i havent shown my sentimental side to him yet because i empathize with him.
3- Yea,i am trying to be patient and i do understand why he's behaving the way he has been. Hes just juggling between 2 sides. 1) I love what we had,we have the potential and i want to make it try because i believe in her and on us (2) but that girl's face,her body,sexual memories,the lie,is she still 100% believable
4- i have been very hard on myself. Firstly because i have hurt the man i love so much and secondly because i am really not such a person;absolutely unexpected of me.
5- so far i have been just trying to persuade him to positively believe that we will be able to rebuild what we lost.
6- i have been so far. It brings me down to thinking 2 things . I have been saying i love you to him despite him not responding it back. Although not as frequently as before but i do say it once
Posted by fullwaterpisces
7- Be confident about yourself, and show him who really are.
8- Don't become a doormat just because you made a mistake, he will lose respect.
9- And communicate direct and honest, but in a loving way.
10- Good luck!!
7 -i just plan to remain me. I told him i am done with enough proving and making him believe that there is NOTHING MORE TO HIDE from him.I told him it's on him to choose to believe or not believe now.
8- how does being a doormat exactly fit in here? i am asking because i wonder if ive been clingy or too available.Not sure though.
9- Our communication has been great since day 1.That's something that drew us to each other at the 1st place. We have been direct and honest but in a very serious way. I try to remain sweet but he gets too serious and then i participate in the discussion on a serious tone too. He'll then crack up something funny and then get serious again but i am trying.
10- THANK YOU!! TOTALLY NEED IT!!
AND another question is,i asked him if he would like us to talk on phone as before.He said he would love to and agrees that our phone talks is something which binds us closer together. However,he hasnt initiated the phone call since the episode. It has been just me.We didnt phone talk yesterday. Should i just initiate the calls myself or wait for him to do it?
Posted by pisces123Posted by fullwaterpisces
7- Be confident about yourself, and show him who really are.
8- Don't become a doormat just because you made a mistake, he will lose respect.
9- And communicate direct and honest, but in a loving way.
10- Good luck!!
8- how does being a doormat exactly fit in here? i am asking because i wonder if i've been clingy or too available.Not sure though.click to expand
This relates to the part of not beat yourself up too much... we Pisces are our worst enemy when is all about guilt, we judge us harder that everybody for the fact that, that we were so "dumb" to make such stupid mistake, because we understand what it is to be on the other person's shoes, we know how much it hurts, and yet we did it... so when that happens we tent to let people get away with things just because we keep "punishing" ourselves for our mistake... that could lead into becoming a doormat.. clingy annoys...
Posted by pisces123
AND another question is,i asked him if he would like us to talk on phone as before.He said he would love to and agrees that our phone talks is something which binds us closer together. However,he hasnt initiated the phone call since the episode. It has been just me.We didnt phone talk yesterday. Should i just initiate the calls myself or wait for him to do it?
I guess that is normal... he is not completely going to act like nothing ever happen so that is probably a little resent for the issue so he wont try as hard as before at this moment. Is your moment to shine show you care... if he doesn't initiate why won't you?... and expect some resistance, just don't be clingy or annoying..
Posted by MoonArtistPosted by fullwaterpiscesPosted by MoonArtist
Coming from my perspective, once the doubt of trust has been planted with solid evidence to back it up, it's next to impossible to change that. Someone pulling a stunt like that would be on probation for a very long time, and every little action would be scrutinized to the fullest, whether or not you realize you're being scrutinized. If anything else shows that there's repeat distrustful behavior, and not just towards me, but to others, and eventually that person gets pushed to the curb forever.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
Lets just say what she did was systematically wrong, unapologetic... and yeah the trust might be deeply shatter, yeah she will definitely be on long sentence of probation...
But you need to be nice, i know trust is everything, if only cancers realize (some people) deserve a chance once or twice... not everything in life is black and white... remember that cancer people are humans and you guys mess up too and you shit stink as well, so if you where in a similar situation you would probably would like the other person to give you another chance to prove yourself
We do make mistakes, but because we know how much some things hurt, and how hard it is to win trust back, we tend to be more careful about how we treat people. I would never in a million years catfish someone, unless it was an enemy and I was purposely setting them up for something.click to expand
Yeah we also do that, but as much as we try... we are only humans... in the same spirit if we try not to hurt someone because we know how it feels, we should try to not be so hard on someone that messes up, because we do too...
now this exclude, repetitive patterns of bad behavior and constant BS...
Posted by fullwaterpiscesPosted by MoonArtistPosted by fullwaterpiscesPosted by MoonArtist
Coming from my perspective, once the doubt of trust has been planted with solid evidence to back it up, it's next to impossible to change that. Someone pulling a stunt like that would be on probation for a very long time, and every little action would be scrutinized to the fullest, whether or not you realize you're being scrutinized. If anything else shows that there's repeat distrustful behavior, and not just towards me, but to others, and eventually that person gets pushed to the curb forever.
I have yet to find a person who broke trust and changed their ways, but that's just my experience in this life so far. What I've noticed is that people have their character traits so ingrained by the time they're adults, that they don't want to put the effort in to change, or they don't think they need to change.
Lets just say what she did was systematically wrong, unapologetic... and yeah the trust might be deeply shatter, yeah she will definitely be on long sentence of probation...
But you need to be nice, i know trust is everything, if only cancers realize (some people) deserve a chance once or twice... not everything in life is black and white... remember that cancer people are humans and you guys mess up too and you shit stink as well, so if you where in a similar situation you would probably would like the other person to give you another chance to prove yourself
We do make mistakes, but because we know how much some things hurt, and how hard it is to win trust back, we tend to be more careful about how we treat people. I would never in a million years catfish someone, unless it was an enemy and I was purposely setting them up for something.
Yeah we also do that, but as much as we try... we are only humans... in the same spirit if we try not to hurt someone because we know how it feels, we should try to not be so hard on someone that messes up, because we do too...
now this exclude, repetitive patterns of bad behavior and constant BS...click to expand
One bad behavior will put us on guard. Repeating the
One bad behavior will put us on guard. Repeating the same behaviors will start racking up on the tally sheet until we realize that the person really is a bad character in some way. This doesn't happen in an instant, this can take months or years, depending on the people involved. If I notice that someone is a people user, over and over, that person is someone I'll keep at arms length and who I'll be careful not to put myself in a position to be used. They'll be an acquaintance, and nothing more. If someone shows that they constantly shit talk about their friends and family while acting super nice to their face, I'll always wonder what they're saying about me when I'm not around. That's not a person who is trustworthy. If someone thinks it's fun to do mean spirited pranks on others, whether or not the other people know what's going on, I'll definitely stay clear of that person and not want anything to do with them.
we are chatting right now.trying to be as normal as possible and discussing non serious topics which are funny but enlightening.He was being funny for quite some time while chatting but then got serious once again all of a sudden.Serious as in silent.I am still trying to be light cool and funny the usual way i have been with him before.
We have our relationship's 1st anniversary in 3 days. Would it be okay and wise of me to wish him ?
I thought it might make him think of the wonderful times we have shared but again the fear of him starting to focus and overthink on the revelation is making me feel like its not a good idea probably. What do you guys think?
We have our relationship's 1st anniversary in 3 days. Would it be okay and wise of me to wish him ?
I thought it might make him think of the wonderful times we have shared but again the fear of him starting to focus and overthink on the revelation is making me feel like its not a good idea probably. What do you guys think?
that you should stop stressing
Stop analyzing every single thing he does, and stop dissecting every single step you are about to make... cancer are over thinkers anyways...
if you where going to wish him before the incident well then do... like this never had happen... cancer mirrors, you are insecure he might think there is something suspicious there even so there isn't..
stop stressing, what he might or not think you will never be sure and just be the best you could be...
if you where going to wish him before the incident well then do... like this never had happen... cancer mirrors, you are insecure he might think there is something suspicious there even so there isn't..
stop stressing, what he might or not think you will never be sure and just be the best you could be...
---UPDATE----
Today has been SO good with him after so long. It's been 6days since the episode. He was very crabby harsh and cold yesterday but today I saw some change. We got talking today morning. Started with the usual goodmorning what plans for the day and then continued.I had called him last night but he didnt pick up.Then later he saw my missed call and then apologized that his phone was being messy the entire day so he didnt see my incoming call and is unable to call back or receive calls. So while chatting today,he initiated the phone talk,he called me up and then we spoke on the phone for an hr. It was a nice talk. Funny,non serious,diverse and talking about weekend plans. There was bit of an emotional wreckage from my side while hanging up. I just miss hearing him say i love you and miss saying it to him.He realized it but we still hung up anyway. Then i msged him saying how much i miss us behaving like "us". He says it's understandable but i shouldnt hurt myself this much. I asked him if i could remain the same as before,loving and affectionate.He said i have the right to be however i want and he has no problem at all but i shouldnt hurt myself because he's unable to return the loving emotions because he doesnt want to fake an i love you if he doesnt fully means it. I told him that its fine,it obviously hurts but when you truly love someone you keep loving them no matter what even if it pinches and i am waiting for that day when he he'd tell me he loves me and means it. Then we started talking about how were we as a bf/gf individually. He said i was very precious and i still continue to remain so.Then i told him how he's a blessing to me and my gem. And then we changed our topic and started bullying each other. And at the end of the chat while saying goodbye he said that i am still an Angel (he would call me that before) keeping the mess aside and gave me a kiss and a smile. Didn't receive his kiss ever since the episode so i felt bit surprised today. I told him i love you,kissed and smiled back and he kissed and smiled back again and we signed off.
I am trying to not be too hopeful because these people are extremely moody. He's slowly being little affectionate now and he might get harsh and cold again tomorrow but i'd like to be little more positive with respect to his behavior today. Any thoughts or anything on our progress?
Today has been SO good with him after so long. It's been 6days since the episode. He was very crabby harsh and cold yesterday but today I saw some change. We got talking today morning. Started with the usual goodmorning what plans for the day and then continued.I had called him last night but he didnt pick up.Then later he saw my missed call and then apologized that his phone was being messy the entire day so he didnt see my incoming call and is unable to call back or receive calls. So while chatting today,he initiated the phone talk,he called me up and then we spoke on the phone for an hr. It was a nice talk. Funny,non serious,diverse and talking about weekend plans. There was bit of an emotional wreckage from my side while hanging up. I just miss hearing him say i love you and miss saying it to him.He realized it but we still hung up anyway. Then i msged him saying how much i miss us behaving like "us". He says it's understandable but i shouldnt hurt myself this much. I asked him if i could remain the same as before,loving and affectionate.He said i have the right to be however i want and he has no problem at all but i shouldnt hurt myself because he's unable to return the loving emotions because he doesnt want to fake an i love you if he doesnt fully means it. I told him that its fine,it obviously hurts but when you truly love someone you keep loving them no matter what even if it pinches and i am waiting for that day when he he'd tell me he loves me and means it. Then we started talking about how were we as a bf/gf individually. He said i was very precious and i still continue to remain so.Then i told him how he's a blessing to me and my gem. And then we changed our topic and started bullying each other. And at the end of the chat while saying goodbye he said that i am still an Angel (he would call me that before) keeping the mess aside and gave me a kiss and a smile. Didn't receive his kiss ever since the episode so i felt bit surprised today. I told him i love you,kissed and smiled back and he kissed and smiled back again and we signed off.
I am trying to not be too hopeful because these people are extremely moody. He's slowly being little affectionate now and he might get harsh and cold again tomorrow but i'd like to be little more positive with respect to his behavior today. Any thoughts or anything on our progress?
You don't really want a Crab's perspective, it seems, so take it to the Fish board. But good luck with that.
Posted by MoonArtist
You don't really want a Crab's perspective, it seems, so take it to the Fish board. But good luck with that.
Of course I want a Crab's perspective which is why i have posted it here.Why would you say otherwise? If you scroll above,you'd realize you haven't really contributed anything positive to help me with my situation. It has just been about judging me to be a cruel manipulative fish who has no right to get a second chance. I am just here to update about my on-going situation and hear thoughts of ANYONE who is willing to. You are included among the anyone too,of course.So please go ahead with your thoughts if you have any(only about my present situation,not just my past). Would ofcourse love a feedback!! 🙂
I'm not here to pat everyone on the back and pass out snuggle blankies. You asked an honest question, so I gave you an honest answer from a Cancer perspective. If I was in your friend's shoes I might keep you as a friend on heavy probation, but the dating/relationship thing would never happen. Once the doubts come in, and the trust has been tarnished, I would forever keep that in mind. It's a Cancer memory thing. Maybe your friend is more open to trusting people after something like that. No one can predict that for him.
One thing I won't do is give you false hope. If you're willing to wait around on hold to see if your friend will get past this with you, then go ahead and do that. That's your choice.
One thing I won't do is give you false hope. If you're willing to wait around on hold to see if your friend will get past this with you, then go ahead and do that. That's your choice.
I have heard that the Cancerian males retreat into their shell when hurt and disappear. I did expect him to be the same but it surprises me to think that he has never disappeared on me. Instead,an hr after the revelation,he asked me to skype with him(we never skyped before) and we ended up behaving as if nothing happened.He called me pretty and sweet,heavily flirted,asked me to give him kisses,imitated my actions,pretended to caress my cheek,said i love you and gave me kisses when i had to leave etc but then reverted back to being angry/hurt/dejected/cold once we got done with skype and chatted online.Also,I was the one who asked if he wanted space to sort out his feelings but he instead got defensive,said "space leads to a break and break leads to a break up and i dont want to break up with you." We have been connected just as before right through the day of revelation. He has a very important exam in may 1st week so he is studying hard for it and has my full support so he told me that his reduced talks shouldnt be construed as him being angry,uninterested or running away.My night time is his morning and he has taken leave from work to study so he spends a part of his morning and afternoon talking to me.
Also,he meant it when he said he's willing to give us another chance so yea he's a lot more forgiving than most normal people.He's a real gem. Although its very different now since he already knows that i deeply love him and want him so he doesn't feel the need to chase me anymore because he already knows that i am there waiting for him. I am just worried if he friendzones me.Doesnt feel the intimacy and attraction.Also,since I told him that i'd like to remain the way i was before with my love and affection, i have been saying i love you at the end of our conversation each time (we used to say it while saying goodnight and while hanging up on phone) and i have been doing that still. Should i stop it or reduce it or just let it continue?
Knowingly it's something which is instead an attraction killer to a guy (it is said that if you already do and say everything then why would he want to be in a relationship if he can get it anyway?) but at the same time when i think deeper about our situation it at times feels like maybe as days progress my consistent affectionate behavior would allow him to feel less insecure and vulnerable and help him to open up emotionally again. What sounds wiser? I thought he was a typical Cancer but him staying in contact
Also,he meant it when he said he's willing to give us another chance so yea he's a lot more forgiving than most normal people.He's a real gem. Although its very different now since he already knows that i deeply love him and want him so he doesn't feel the need to chase me anymore because he already knows that i am there waiting for him. I am just worried if he friendzones me.Doesnt feel the intimacy and attraction.Also,since I told him that i'd like to remain the way i was before with my love and affection, i have been saying i love you at the end of our conversation each time (we used to say it while saying goodnight and while hanging up on phone) and i have been doing that still. Should i stop it or reduce it or just let it continue?
Knowingly it's something which is instead an attraction killer to a guy (it is said that if you already do and say everything then why would he want to be in a relationship if he can get it anyway?) but at the same time when i think deeper about our situation it at times feels like maybe as days progress my consistent affectionate behavior would allow him to feel less insecure and vulnerable and help him to open up emotionally again. What sounds wiser? I thought he was a typical Cancer but him staying in contact
*but him staying in contact "almost" as before is highly surprising.
So why do you need validation or analysis to disect every single detail on every day basis? if things are going good?? Stop that self destrictive behavior or overanalyzing... Enjoy life has grant you a chance to make up for your mistake and let every single day unfold as it go... You asked for advice on what to expect... People have give u advice... Maybe im moody or jealous but if i where in your shoes (in my story) i would focus on enjoying and be the best i could be...
Sorry for the harshness my fellow pisces but reading that things are going good and yoy seem like you want people to predict his behaviour is imposible... If he has reatreat, or not doing the things he used to do... Well put yourself in his shoes and understand and do your job... Repairing broken trust is hard... But you have the first and most important step already covered... Which is he is willing go try...
Sorry for the harshness my fellow pisces but reading that things are going good and yoy seem like you want people to predict his behaviour is imposible... If he has reatreat, or not doing the things he used to do... Well put yourself in his shoes and understand and do your job... Repairing broken trust is hard... But you have the first and most important step already covered... Which is he is willing go try...
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He immediately corrected saying that it's not a breakup according to him but rather a "repair-job".He said that we should continue the way we are right now,allow time to heal the pain and then see what we feel for each other,if we can reach the same depth as before. When i asked him to elaborate that,he said i musnt be overly optimistic and consider all odds if his heart again comes in play,brings in the intimacy.He said that may or may not happen again and we should consider all odds. He apologized and said he's been very emotionally detached and it's just his head talking to me like this right now.He said his heart has shut down completely.
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