Pushing people way

this is kind a like poll: What will make a cancer stop pushing people away?

1) awareness
2) confrontation
3) bluntness
4) fill the blank

please try to avoid "I don't push people away"

by pushing people away I mean... not responding others request, phone calls (on your own time), distance, so on and so off.

Confrontation works on me..
A little story shall we...

My Scorp Sis messaged me the other day and ask how I was doing. .I told her I'm good then she messaged me and saying...You can message me too you know... (because I've been a little distant of late) I replied, True...and I will do better...and I did....but I had to be confronted about me being a little distant and the communication being one-sided...It's not a dramatic story but I hope you get the point I'm trying to make. .

Posted by crabRiot
Confrontation works on me..
A little story shall we...

My Scorp Sis messaged me the other day and ask how I was doing. .I told her I'm good then she messaged me and saying...You can message me too you know... (because I've been a little distant of late) I replied, True...and I will do better...and I did....but I had to be confronted about me being a little distant and the communication being one-sided...It's not a dramatic story but I hope you get the point I'm trying to make. .

this is a very simple but to the point story... I would like but I don't have that button here LOL... thanks for sharing...

Posted by NaomiB
when they realize finally that people have gotten tired of them and moved on to better folks. when they are all alone with no one in their corners really, then they'll try to act like it's the other people's faults for leaving their sorry asses. i met a lot of cancers that like to wallow in self pity and who love to play the victim card. they use their emotions as weapons, but it is very weak and see through to people who use logic.

not hating on good cancers, tho. wherever those may be.

SC this is starting to get me a little bit annoyed... Stop deleting your comments!!!!! If you don't want your friend to find out what you talk about her... Stop making references about her and just be generic.... You kill the dinamics!!!

Depends on why I'm pushing someone away. If it's because I'm upset and in a funk, persistence will work if my closest people persist. If it's because someone backstabbed or betrayed me, there is no way to fix it and you'll be pushed out completely.

Posted by MoonArtist
Depends on why I'm pushing someone away. If it's because I'm upset and in a funk, persistence will work if my closest people persist. If it's because someone backstabbed or betrayed me, there is no way to fix it and you'll be pushed out completely.

I guess it worth clarifying that at that level you mentioned on your last sentence is when you cancer cuts all sort of communication with the person question, and not even acknowledge their existing... so this is completely pointless, right?. Lets just discard those situation...

And correct me if I'm wrong... but if a cancer is still polite, mildly responsive but distant there is still hope, right?

Posted by NaomiB
when they realize finally that people have gotten tired of them and moved on to better folks. when they are all alone with no one in their corners really, then they'll try to act like it's the other people's faults for leaving their sorry asses. i met a lot of cancers that like to wallow in self pity and who love to play the victim card. they use their emotions as weapons, but it is very weak and see through to people who use logic.

not hating on good cancers, tho. wherever those may be.

Thanks for answering for the rest of us for the few derps you met. And I'm a loner so that's a hell nope. Wrong answer sweet pants. But thanks for playing!

My answer would be confrontation. I really don't realize I'm doing it until someone says something. I get in my own little world sometimes.

Posted by fullwaterpisces

Posted by MoonArtist
Depends on why I'm pushing someone away. If it's because I'm upset and in a funk, persistence will work if my closest people persist. If it's because someone backstabbed or betrayed me, there is no way to fix it and you'll be pushed out completely.

I guess it worth clarifying that at that level you mentioned on your last sentence is when you cancer cuts all sort of communication with the person question, and not even acknowledge their existing... so this is completely pointless, right?. Lets just discard those situation...

And correct me if I'm wrong... but if a cancer is still polite, mildly responsive but distant there is still hope, right?

click to expand

Yes I'll aways be civil as long as you are.

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by NaomiB
when they realize finally that people have gotten tired of them and moved on to better folks. when they are all alone with no one in their corners really, then they'll try to act like it's the other people's faults for leaving their sorry asses. i met a lot of cancers that like to wallow in self pity and who love to play the victim card. they use their emotions as weapons, but it is very weak and see through to people who use logic.

not hating on good cancers, tho. wherever those may be.

My answer would be confrontation. I really don't realize I'm doing it until someone says something. I get in my own little world sometimes.

click to expand

Interesting...

Posted by cancerdreamer9

Posted by fullwaterpisces
this is kind a like poll: What will make a cancer stop pushing people away?

1) awareness
2) confrontation
3) bluntness
4) fill the blank

please try to avoid "I don't push people away"

by pushing people away I mean... not responding others request, phone calls (on your own time), distance, so on and so off.

Persistence,while not being a creep,and patience. I myself like white knight,hero types of people. People who don't cling and don't judge too much and will fight for me. Getting clingy or bitchy will push me away more.

click to expand

Can you elaborate on this persistence without being a creep... I work better with examples 🙂

Posted by cancerdreamer9
lmao@ starchild. how can she possibly ever know anyways you are on here?

He is been a little bit paranoiac here!!! IMO.... but anyways he will be good responding this thread on regards of persistence and confrontation... if only he could stop removing his comments!!!

At my age now and in this time. If I push someone away it's cause I really don't want them.... not a game or a ploy to get them to come back, or anything like that. The people I really want I will find a way to contact or be with.

@cancersdreamer9 Is very informative to talk with you... You are like a cancer open book 🙂

From what i can summarize from all this examples you just provided me...

1) persistence - i dont know if cancer's subconsciously like to test how people care about them...
2) self confidence - noticed that aqua and sag didn't let you crush their souls (so to speak) with you meanest and that kept you looking for more with them...

And i will say a little dash of sinism... Or thick skin... Now i understand some of people here saying cancer are mean... Is like kind of trying to find your kryptonite (weak spot) so they dont feel so weak or vulnerable (imo)

A total no no is lovey dove sentimentalism and drama...

I've also notice some of you racionalize your feelings too much (maybe in a way to control them) because with sag you like him, you shake him quite a bit but you already decided you where not compatible... And gosh you guys are stubborn (didnt know that almost as taurus level)... what would be something you will consider creepy—?

Is anybody has an example of "constructive" and "efective" confrontation besides crabriot and her sister?

I ask this because in other thread "why do cancers do this" - Este8 posted something that some cancers dont realize sometimes when their actions or actitudes are also hurtfull In a way to make cancers aware of them...

Posted by cancerdreamer9
i'm like geeuz christ,i was such a heartbreaker.

i dont think you are a heartbreaker unless you conciently do it... IMO i think cancers or maybe in that regards all water signs we get trap into overanalizing everything and thinking too much out of things that we have no proof on that we end up jinxing ourselves and sort of giving some people heartaches in order to avoid getting hurt.

Part of me thinks i want someone to see my vulnerability,and not run away,so i subconsciously pull the b.s tests to see who will stay.

I can completely relate on that one because i do it myself too (think because of my cancer placements)... But being pisces sometimes makes me very naive and dont tent to go on self defense mode...

Yes,i agree,i do rationalize my feelings.

That one is the one that is always been a hard one to swallow...

direct communication does work well on me. I may not answer right away,but it'll be in my head,and i'll take notice to it. Honestly,cancers are just very selfish. idk why.

click to expand

So you are telling me... That if im direct with you maybe in that particular moment youll be like "whateva" but that doesnt mean my words when to trash?... Yeah you guys it can be bit selfish but in my book is because you are too busy overprotecting yourselves to listen or look to the facts... I guess this will lead me back to confrontation, making you aware some how that your shit does stinck too (in a nice way thou)

Posted by NaomiB

Posted by kissmygrits

Posted by NaomiB
when they realize finally that people have gotten tired of them and moved on to better folks. when they are all alone with no one in their corners really, then they'll try to act like it's the other people's faults for leaving their sorry asses. i met a lot of cancers that like to wallow in self pity and who love to play the victim card. they use their emotions as weapons, but it is very weak and see through to people who use logic.

not hating on good cancers, tho. wherever those may be.

Thanks for answering for the rest of us for the few derps you met. And I'm a loner so that's a hell nope. Wrong answer sweet pants. But thanks for playing!

My answer would be confrontation. I really don't realize I'm doing it until someone says something. I get in my own little world sometimes.

Guess you were too busy ranting and bitching to see that I excluded the good crabs. Besides, wouldn't a derp comment negatively to my post about negative cancers? if they were positive crabs, they would have 1. not missed my point by a mile. 2. knew i wasn't addressing them and save all that foolishness. Girl bye!

click to expand

You're still not us so sit down!

I get cancerdreamer9. It depends on who did what in a certain situation on whether we will push you away.

Now... in regards of confrontation... in my mind thats a tricky one... in some cases from what I've been reading it could be sort of ignoring "crabby time" is not like disrespecting their space is just that after a while it gets too comfy in there... just like crabriot's sister did.

But what will be the best approach to successfully confront a crab??... I say is tricky because i think at first crab will present resistance and push buttons to get the person out of balance... am I right?...

Well now imagine a cancer hurt or pissed... will definitely present resistance and their way to avoid u getting close to the core is by pushing you away.. and making sure that you lose your balance... because like in boxing the first thing a coach will tell you is to keep your position and avoid getting out of balance, in yoga the main propose in life is balance.

Posted by fullwaterpisces
Now... in regards of confrontation... in my mind thats a tricky one... in some cases from what I've been reading it could be sort of ignoring "crabby time" is not like disrespecting their space is just that after a while it gets too comfy in there... just like crabriot's sister did.

But what will be the best approach to successfully confront a crab??... I say is tricky because i think at first crab will present resistance and push buttons to get the person out of balance... am I right?...

In a friendly manner, how about can we talk for a minute?
Then you can say something like you know I respect your need to be alone and not be bothered at times, you know your personal space...but I must admit after a while I do start to miss you... (insert what you miss here and make whatever you say truthful ).I would really like it if we started communicating again like we use to...okay love!
Try that.

@crabriot 😉

hahaha in a second thought what after all that nice opening comment you still push away??

Posted by fullwaterpisces
hahaha in a second thought what after all that nice opening comment you still push away??

Then I will leave to the Lord, not much else I can do OR ignore your ass indefinitely just to give you a taste if your own medicine lol

And thats where the people with a lots of self-confidence become handy to not let you guys pull those dirty tricks!! 😉 am I right?