I want my cancerman back...ple_?se help

Have been with my cancer boyfriend for 4 years. We were so happy so good together. We were getting closer and closer. Went abroad on a 3 week vacation and he was all smiles and laugher the last day I saw him.

Then I said u never once denied cheating on me relating to a dream I had and he said I never cheated on you ever. And then said he felt like he's insides had just broken. Loke i was planning on asking that the moment he walk in the door. And that I got trust issues and he wanted to be alone. So he hugged me and kissed me and left.

I asked him if he wanted to talk the next day he said no we will never talk again.

And we never have and its been a month. I have sent him like 100 apologies and even sent sweeties. I even gave him space for a week.

What can I do to get him back.

I messed up but he's the only important person in my world. What should I do.

You screwed up, keep pestering him you will never see him again, you accused him of doing something he never did, he's done with you.

He probably did cheat on you, or at least already had the next woman lined up waiting for a reason to move on and try some new candy. You have been together for four years and women usually have some intuition if their man is cheating or not.

Bet most of you are wrong. Don't you read your own bits of information about cancers? They don't use people for attention or loneliness. If anything they can be the perfect loner romantics if they want to be while they wait patiently for a new lover. That's why a cancer will rather shell on their ex or lover then to use them for attention or sex or feeling happy. They are people who don't rely on anyone for anything until they make it clear they are ready to. And if he already was with you for 4 years his heart was with you. Cancers do lack patience. They don't tolerate nonsense and the crazier the nonsense the quicker they will drop you. Saying you thought he was cheating from a dreams screams insecurity and no trust and causing drama out of your own head. He didn't even need to fuck up to get picked at. Anybody would say fuck it and walk off. That's real frustrating for someone. To get him back stop apologizing and be with him with no insecurity. Give it time too

I kep telling you thinktoomuch but you won't accept it. He was into you but both if you had opposing communication styles that fucked everything up and the trust went out the window and your relationship broke down.

Cancers are the biggest manipulators of all time. But most do it with a good level of decency to it. And yea you have cancers out there who will retaliate and gladly rip your heart out for you. Cancers are probably the most human out of us all because they embrace emotions. I'm just trying to point out the differences or things people are confused about because they can be very confusing.

I'm a capricorn with emotions. I'm soft n delicate. Sometimes like annually a demon comes out of me and destroys my life. Lasts like 3 days and then I spend a year repairing the damage.

Ok so I said I messed up. Now how do I get him back. How long does a cancer silent treatment last for.

I know he isn't seeing someone else. He's not like that

This crap again....

Let's put it this way. Last year a month ago.... The demon mad me hate my manager at work. I refused to listen to her. Handed in my resignation. And stayed home sick in my resignation period. Destroyed my career and cried about been unemployed.

Jobs can be found. Relationships with new people r easy to start. But I want the person I had. I can't find another him. My heart beats only for him

Posted by cappygirl11
I'm a capricorn with emotions. I'm soft n delicate. Sometimes like annually a demon comes out of me and destroys my life. Lasts like 3 days and then I spend a year repairing the damage.

Ok so I said I messed up. Now how do I get him back. How long does a cancer silent treatment last for.

I know he isn't seeing someone else. He's not like that

Probably why he keeps you at arms length. You could be seen as one as those who sabotages anything good in your life and he's probably tired of dealing with it. Right now you need to not worry about him and fix yourself. Nobody want me to deal with someone's inner demons. He probably knows he can't do anything to fix that or work with that it's you not him. Maybe you could get a therapist or clear up past shit or go to church.

Thinktoomuch I've seen examples of your situation and I'm only telling you from other people's experience. I do think you were me a secret because he wanted to be official first and get to a point he can openly be himself without you criticizing or looking for more meaning out of stuff that was basic or not finding enough meaning into things that were not basic. He was probably waiting until you two were secure before he showed you off. Cancers are not the type to have multiple lovers so whoever is on their arm is there to stay so they take a while to commit because they want to make sure you'll be around for awhile. The opposing views and communication styles probably made that impossible so eventually he backed down. And the way you talk on here you seem like a person that would rather battle then to make love like you fear love and you fear making big leaps in love you are always finding excuses not to instead of just doing like your scared to get hurt. Cancers start off open but they will play on your energy do eventually they will act the sane and they usually have the exact same thing going on. It takes a secure open and outgoing person to roll with a cancer. And he needed to learn how to approach you even through your doubt and stop telling you he didn't want you when he did. I know someone who had this exact thing me going on and I do think the cancer loved dude but seemed like dude was too insecure to just be happy with her and to let it grow without all the technical or complicated stuff and the more I find out the more I learn I see how she was on her way to having something very serious with dude but he pushed her away because he was insecure and the pushing hurt her enough until finally she learned to let it go. She never showed him to family and friends but I think she was preparing for it and I think she would've married dude. But seemed like dude always saw the bad and because of that it went bad.

^*multiple lovers at one time.

You have to be soo careful what you say and how you say it to cancer people, I love them but emotionally tiring sometimes, when they are in a good mood..wow love them even more x
But the mood can change in a split second and the "what the heck have I done, said wrong now" thought comes over you, then the stress, worry torment anguish of the inevitable silence! Just waiting for the explanation _??_ just the cancer people I know, not picking on anyone personally _??

You really don't. Being careful makes them uncomfortable and more likey to test you. They favor blunt people who don't take offense to their moods that have nothing to do with you. Their not silent because they are mad sometimes they're silent cuz they know their moods effect you and they don't want to hurt you or offend you so they just mirror you or have limited moodiness around you. Limited moodiness is not letting then be who they are by nature so then they end up being sensitive around you

Learn how to ride the moods. Just see it and let it pass and soon maybe a few minutes to a few hours you'll see a mood change and you'll see it had not much to do with you and more so about what was happening on the environment the cancers in. What happens is you react to that mood change and feel some type of way then the cancer gets pissed and truly moody after they wonder why your different all of a sudden. That's why you'll hear a lot of people that misunderstand this part about them say I'm the one always walking on eggshells and cancers acts like the victim. No. Cancer feels like no cancer is playing the victim instead of just enjoying the flow. When they are truly sad or mad or something to the point where it's really not a mood and it's really their own feeling then you will know because they will either tell you or they will shut you completely out. Knowing a cancer is like solving a jigsaw puzzle but you can cut down on that if you just learn how to stop analyzing and just approach. They are very approachable people. Even when they're emotional they are still stable. And when they're unstable they are in their shell protecting you from them. This is cause their moods most of the time are just them going with the flow of the energy around them. I don't even think they are moody I think they are just unpredictable and you can't let that interfere with your confidence or what you really want to say or do. They like people to assert themself even if they don't agree with it that's what they want. They like real and genuine. They don't mind bluntness or bare truths that might hurt or even their feeling hurt. They can take that. After all these people are tough cookies. But they are also delicate flowers so you have to rember to be real about your thoughts feelings and who you are as a person and what you want and don't want-they will respect that but whatever you do don't come off as manipulative or else you will have war. It's all in the delivery. When you come off as fake or that your hiding something-like your true feelings about something they feel like they can't be real with you and you can't be real with them so they will either give you the distance or only deal with you on a case by case basis without really giving you emotions or that good ole cancer loving. They thirst for the good times in life and the bad times on life-they like to embrace humanity and study them. So if you come off as fake your no good.

All true, well said, I have had to toughen up a lot since I got with my cancer, took me a couple of years to know when to pick and and when to ask if he's ok, but now there's more of a friend vibe with us now its so much more comfortable, hes a drinker too, I just let him get on with it x

Hey, just a thought,

one reason cancerians don't introduce their gf/bf as soon to others because they're afraid if anything happens and you guys break up they'll be embarrasses because, let's face it, most people will blame them. so maybe he was waiting until perfect moment for engagement or something to break the news to everyone.

but this guy sounds fishy, because, he needn't get this offended about a small tiff, these questions shouldn't bother some one to stop talking for weeks, imagine he'd asked you the same, will you have reacted like this? so maybe he's preparing you by punishing you now so that you'll be afraid to even dare ask these questions in the future fearing these consequences. whatever the reason be, this is unnecessary elaborate emotional drama he should be a guy and get over it and you should really start ignoring him until he realizes this and comes around. if he loved you truly he def will realize his ego isn't bigger than you, if not, don't waste your time on the mood magnet roller coaster.

So Don't apologize, don't text, let him know you are with friends and not obsessing over him this should set him right off towards you. cheers

oh and I'm a cancerian 🙂

Posted by princessacancersagittaire
Hey, just a thought,

one reason cancerians don't introduce their gf/bf as soon to others because they're afraid if anything happens and you guys break up they'll be embarrasses because, let's face it, most people will blame them. so maybe he was waiting until perfect moment for engagement or something to break the news to everyone.

but this guy sounds fishy, because, he needn't get this offended about a small tiff, these questions shouldn't bother some one to stop talking for weeks, imagine he'd asked you the same, will you have reacted like this? so maybe he's preparing you by punishing you now so that you'll be afraid to even dare ask these questions in the future fearing these consequences. whatever the reason be, this is unnecessary elaborate emotional drama he should be a guy and get over it and you should really start ignoring him until he realizes this and comes around. if he loved you truly he def will realize his ego isn't bigger than you, if not, don't waste your time on the mood magnet roller coaster.

So Don't apologize, don't text, let him know you are with friends and not obsessing over him this should set him right off towards you. cheers

oh and I'm a cancerian 🙂

So basically you are saying ignore him
After a month of him ignoring me. But I did ignore him for a week and a bit. And it didn't bug him much

Posted by cappygirl11
Have been with my cancer boyfriend for 4 years. We were so happy so good together. We were getting closer and closer. Went abroad on a 3 week vacation and he was all smiles and laugher the last day I saw him.

Then I said u never once denied cheating on me relating to a dream I had and he said I never cheated on you ever. And then said he felt like he's insides had just broken. Loke i was planning on asking that the moment he walk in the door. And that I got trust issues and he wanted to be alone. So he hugged me and kissed me and left.

I asked him if he wanted to talk the next day he said no we will never talk again.

And we never have and its been a month. I have sent him like 100 apologies and even sent sweeties. I even gave him space for a week.

What can I do to get him back.

I messed up but he's the only important person in my world. What should I do.

IDK what is this high school—? over 4 years of relationship and run away after a moment of insecurity?? I've you been pestering him a lot with similar stuff?

yeah i get it, he got offended and hurt that you accused him of cheating? but to never ever talk to you? and just like people here say "he is gone, he is never going to come back" well if he does, he is as immature as you where by giving him grief for a dream...

You don't throw away 4 years of relationship for things like that!!! he got offended... fine! you have apologized... and he is being proud... I suggest you go by this two girls that ask you to stop calling him... no one know what they have until they felt they lost it... stop blaming yourself, if you feel guilty, apologize, if you did, then your job is done...

Ok I mentioned it before a few times. Even on holiday asked how many of he's friends cheated. We were broken up for a month before cause I told him I hated him. So I asked if he cheated then. I also suspected this lady house he stayed at while he travelled and she died a month back and I now find out she was like 80 years old and ill.

Also since we got back from vacation. I told him I hated the jersey he bought. The I said I didn't like the fact that he's friends sister made him soup when he was sick.

In fact while I asked the last question he said you got trust issue do u know that. You and ur family always treat me like a criminal

Guys let's remember from her other thread she got mad that he cheated on her IN A DREAM!!!!

I would ignore your crazy ass too.

Exactly. And she forgot to tell us she ignored him for over a week first. OP put yourself in his shoes. You told him you were moving and ignored him. That's harsh for a lover of 4 years. That's not something you TELL your mate of 4 years that's something you ASK your mate of for years BEFORE you even agree to move. That is very selfish. It is also very selfish of him to disappear but here's the thing most people need to learn-when you fuck up good harmony in the relationship DO NOT EXPECT THE OTHER PERSON TO HAVE GOOD HARMONY IN THE RELATIONSHIP. And it is your responsibility to fix the broken harmony. He could have been better about it and not reacted like a child but after all you are the one causing shit. There would be no running away if you handled it all better. If my girl of 4 years up and told me she was moving without discussing it with me first I would dump her because iteans more the. Just a move it means you can't handle bigger problems that might come down the pike. It shows a lot and not in a good way. I don't think you need to listen to these females that come around the cancer board because they have a bad habit of not seeing the facts and looking at what is glaring you in the face. Lots are emotional and can't see why what is happening is happening. If both of you keep running away like this you will have no relationship. It does sound like he loves you and I do think he will be back around. He's either hurt and feels emasculated because you took away manhood he feels like he just wants to be alone or he's being spiteful or he's seeing someone else. I doubt that last one. But he's acting like a child and since you broke it you need to fix it and go grab him by the hand and talk it out. The more distance between you two the slimmer the chances. The distance in a 4 year relationship shouldn't be 2 weeks or even 2 days. From the ones I know cancers in a long term relationship wouldn't disappear for that long. 2 days is plenty. Both of you need to stop playing games and either be together or not.

Wait I'm not moving. I never said such a thing. I'm confused.

I want to grab him by the hand and fix it. But how? He works a few jobs is always on the road. At a client or something. Unless I stalk him by waiting outside he's brothers workshop for him to appear? I also know he was going abroad for a week. I guess he's back but he could have went somewhere else. He's busy very busy.

The truth is I think I have tried everything. He's bday coming up soon. I love him so much I hate what I have done. I'm so sorry

Maybe we have broken up and I don't know. I asked. He didn't reply

I guess I'm confused too. I think I got some cancer stories mixed up. Just leave it be for now if you've tried. If he can't man up and talk to you just move on. Nothing much you can really do

Thinktoomuch I think he was real and was taking things slow-maybe a littleore slow then usual. I think you fought for the end of that relationship so it couldn't hurt you. Just go spend some time with him and enjoy the time and talk to him. Chances are he will jump on the offer. Just take it easy with yourself first and don't blame yourself don't blame him just feel the love you share and embrace him and talk.

Posted by cappygirl11
Then I said u never once denied cheating on me relating to a dream I had and he said I never cheated on you ever. And then said he felt like he's insides had just broken. Loke i was planning on asking that the moment he walk in the door. And that I got trust issues and he wanted to be alone. So he hugged me and kissed me and left.

He kissed your crazy ass good bye! 😄 Leave him alone. Your loss and a lesson on how to treat someone who loves you darling.

amelygrimes duly marked the end of this thread. LESSON: if you're suspicious of a guy or thinks he's breaking up with you then you take "CoQ10 and curcumin" noted? it cures so much so easily hence, the pain of breakup too. apparently there is nothing a good dose of curcuma wouldn't cure.

LOL!!!!!!!!!

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