Is Cancer guy serious, or is this just fantasy?

Yo Crabs,
I'm posting this for a friend who is having problems with her Cancer BF. She knows I post here and asked me to get feedback from other Cancers ...

Soooo Taurus friend and her Cancer have been dating since ??May. She is 38 with a 7-year-old son. He is 40, never been married, no kids.??He's been a great BF. Gets along well with her son who adores him. Moved house to be closer to where she lives. They have discussed marriage in the abstract but neither of them are ready yet. He seems to be more ready than she is however.??

My friend borrows the BF's laptop with his permission while he is out of town, discovers a file that he saved a few days ago. (Before everyone gets their panties in a wad over snooping, she says she thought the file was something else, and discovered this by accident). The file is a gchat conversation between the BF and another woman (dunno her sign) that has spanned a couple of weeks.??

What she discovers:
— The woman is single, lives far away, and is someone her BF had a crush on for years. (Taurus never knew this).
— The woman also had a crush on the Cancer. They??discovered their mutual crush a couple of weeks ago.
— A LOT of inappropriate conversation has taken place daily since then, much of it prompted by the Cancer. What they enjoy sexually, what they would like to do to each other, etc.??A LOT of intimate conversation including many shared secrets.??
— They have talked about possibly moving to a beach somewhere together and opening a bar?! ??(He has never talked about anything like this with the Taurus.) His words: "if a lot of money suddenly comes my way, I'm out of here."
— The Cancer has talked about flying to {the woman's city, a 5- hr flight away} to see her.
— The Cancer has mentioned my friend/his GF saying he is very conflicted and doesn't know what to do. He said "I'm not a cheater, and I wouldnt be in this situation with anyone else, it's just that you are so fantastic I can't help myself."

My friend is very upset but is going to wait until she sees him in person before bringing this up. He is on a business trip for the next few days (yes she knows he is on this trip and not seeing the woman, as he has planned it for months and is posting pics from it on his company website).

Whatdya think, Cancers? Is this dude engaging in harmless fantasy, or is he serious? What questions should she ask him? How does she know if he's lying? Should she give him another chance? Dump him?

Ok im not a crab but cmon you need to ask. Id be dumping him. Hes a player

Grass is always greener... over the septic tank.

Yowza! Yep, I would definitely move on.

We cancers have a strong connection to our pasts. His past feelings for this person have come full force to his present and your friend will become a casualty!
She should definitely confront him. He may spin it to lessen the hurt, for her, but emotionally he is gone.

Cancerita, totally off topic but is that your tatt? ... i like it a lot. I've been thinking about some sort of sun tattoo and would love to know the symbolism behind it.

Thanks for your feedback all, keep it coming pleeeease! xo

Here's my take. Good, bad, indifferent. He's exhibiting class behavior of repeat offender in relationship. Everything is fab! great! terrific! in the beginning. But in his mind it must stay at that level. There's not much room for reality, life in general or actually working at a relationship. He's addicted to the initial high, the rush of feeling. Himself feeling most attractive, at his height of masculine power.
He's in a pretty room, but he's not casting his eye slowly about taking in the sculpture, the art, feeling the fabric with his fingers or inhaling the scents around him. He's looking at the door, a window. A means of escape.
The sad part is in this scenario the feelings of a child are entwined in it. He looks up to this fellow. Her feelings aside, and I am not discounting hers by any means.
Another chance? That's on her, but I feel he'll do it again ( if he even calls off with the other ) and again. The question is does she want to keep hurting as he dances in and out of her life.
There'd not be many questions, just facts laid out. A wicked fight would most certainly provide the fuel, the impetus for him to walk clean away and feel perfectly justified in doing so. Despite him being at fault, his conscience will be clear.

I wish your friend the very best, this is not an easy path to walk nor one anyone really wants too. We all want to believe the best in our choice and at times it is most certainly not the way things shake out. Bless.

he is checking to see if the woman is a sure thing. if it is, he will leave your taurus friend abruptly. nothing personal. he just likes the woman from his past more. cancers will go back to the left over emotions if they are stronger. if it doesn't work out with the new woman, and your friend allows him, the cancer man may or may not come back. (but i doubt it. only because she does not have a strong hold on him.) i doubt he is all that into your taurus friend. he probably likes her and they probably get along but the connection is not one that he favors. even when we cancers have emotions for someone in the past, if we like the new person, we will forget about going back to anyone or going anywhere. so it is probably best see confront him. if she confronts him it will force him to show and play his hand.

My friend is reading all these and wants me to pass on her thanks for your honest opinions.
Yes, she's devastated and partly because, as venusianbull pointed out, the feelings of her little boy are involved too. She thought this guy was the real deal, the complete package. After being disappointed by her ex and by other men in her past, she thought she met the perfect guy who would never dream about being sneaky to this extent.
She was prepared to hang onto this guy no matter what and "work through it" ... but says you all are making her think beyond her immediate reaction ... and she is grateful for that.

Blessings and Light to you Bullette, give that young man a squeeze for me, keep a hug for you. You've got an excellent friend in your Scorp , she's looking out for you. 🙂

@Autumn, my tattoo is very similar (just didn't post my pic to keep my masseur from reading my posts 😉 )

It's my sun sign with the cancer symbol in the center. I've been working on my moon sign with Scorpio symbol, just haven't come up with a winner yet.

Slow down people! TELL YOUR FRIEND TO ASK HIM ABOUT IT FIRST! He might just have a beef with the woman from the past and wants to play with her head. Ask 1st!

"Mirrors my situation..its 3 months since i stopped contact with my crab (were talking for 8 months by that time) when i accidentally found his texts to a girl of his past. ..wont go into details of our relationship, but he was..and i guess still is special to me. I was devastated. He called and texted after 1.5 months after that but i didnt anwser. As learning he was 'emotionally gone' closed the doors..my heart grieves. I wish u get over it soon. I am taurus too btw"

^This is so taurus^. it is very possible that he cared less about that woman. I will never get why Taurus often go in to silent mode with out any dicussion. ( i hope you a least discussed the text or asked him about it.) Doesn't walking away with out knowing and talking often make you feel worse about the situation?

Posted by venusianbull
Blessings and Light to you Bullette, give that young man a squeeze for me, keep a hug for you. You've got an excellent friend in your Scorp , she's looking out for you. 🙂

Thanks honey 🙂

Oh, she is gonna ask him about it/ confront him. But not til he's back from his business trip. She wants it to be a face-to-face discussion, and he is not only away but busy at a convention, not the ideal time to have a big and possibly relationship-changing conversation. She wanted to get other people's opinions on the matter before then, since this is not something she wants to share with many people in "real life," at this point anyway.

Sad, shitty situation.

It is indeed, and it's good that she's talking things out to clear the air. No matter the outcome. All we can do is be on the outside looking in, but it doesn't look superfuntastic from this angle no matter how you slice it. You're welcome luv. 🙂 I DO hope I'm wrong you know fwiw. I don't like pointing the fickle finger of doom but I will certainly be as flat out honest as possible.

Borrowed my Merc for a 'mo, didn't you Purr. 🙂

Yeah, like IWIN32 said, Run for it!!!

She did.
Conclusion to this story is that the Cancer came back from his trip and she confronted him with the printed out conversation.
After talking a while they pretty much both arrived at the same conclusion ... that if he is capable of having these feelings for another woman, regardless of whether anything will ever happen with her or not ... he should not be with my friend.
whoever said she deserves better is right on. Now she's just really in a bad place, but resigned that she did the right thing and needs to move on.

I know it's hard, but she really has good friends to lean on. Platitudes blow, but they are so true at times.

^ true that!^

Forgot to say, she was very grateful for the opinions offered here. It is helpful to get other people's feedback when they have no emotional attachment to either party. A couple of friends who is also friends with the Cancer was all, "well he didn't *really* cheat, so you should give him another chance." bla bla bla.

So thanks y'all.