Is it really over?

My now cancer ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago..I broke up with him. My reasoning for breaking up with him is because I felt that he sends too many mixed signals. I feel like he wants me in his life, but he's not ready for REAL commitment. Sorta like he wants me to stick around until he's ready to settle down. We both just turned 21 this summer. He told me that he wanted to marry me in the future and he also admitted that him knowing that he wants a future with me at 21 scared him because we are so young and haven't really experienced life yet. That is where the confusion comes in for me because we made a year on July 19th and I thought things were going well. Now i know cancers aren't really confrontational and they shut down easily and that is what bothered me so much about him, him shutting down when I would express my feelings, mostly about how something that he did bothered me. We would never get to the root of the problem, but just inch around it, he would do enough just to shut me up.

Fast forward to August 5 when I broke up with him. I broke up with him for retweeting a hurtful post that said "when you are having second thoughts about being in a relationship and the uncertainty of monogamy crosses your mind, but she's a great girl".. am i wrong? that pretty much confirmed the thoughts that i had about him in the first place, and then him not wanting to fix things after actually confirmed it more. Two days later after we broke up, he texted me saying hi and asking about what i was doing, totally dismissing everything that happened. It was as if he didn't care, so I asked if he had any intentions on talking about everything that went on and he said that he didn't want a relationship right now and that he wants to focus on everything that he has going on right now (clothing line, last year of college) and that he was tired of us arguing and he pretty much felt overwhelmed. now my issue with that is, it is obvious that he didn't want a relationship and me breaking up with him gave him a way out because not once did he fight for us.

Something that he kept saying was that he doesn't want a relationship, RIGHT NOW. he keeps saying that he think we'll get back together and that a relationship is too much for him right now. He said he's not just saying that he doesn't want a relationship with me, but not one with anyone else either, and that if he gets back into something it would be with me. He said that I haven't given him time to miss me because I always text him and call him, and it's only because I love him so much, but he has been being cold and kind of mean. He told me to give him some space, and he will hit me up. That pissed me off because knowing him the way that I do, he is expecting me to be readily available when he is ready to be back with me, so I told him goodbye and that I am not obligated to sit around and wait for him to figure out what he wants. I know for a fact that he loves me, I just feel like he is confused

We haven't spoken and we unfollowed each other off of every social network. But he was talking about me on his twitter on this past week, it was sort of like like a competition tweet, and the tweet could only have come from him looking on my social media accounts and seeing me happy. Also, every chance he gets, he posts that he is single, idk if he is looking for attention or what, but I haven't given him any responses, because i honestly think that's what he is looking for, but its confusing to me because he made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship with me, "right now". Is it really over between us? he hasn't untagged me from certain pictures on instagram, its like he's holding on to me, but forcing himself to not want me.

Sounds like social media has played a huge role in how things have panned out between you...

That's all I've gathered so far sorry 😕

Hopefully someone can shed a little more insight for you overall tho

oh no

He still has feelings for you, but he probably wants to mingle with lots of girls. He's only suggesting that there's a possibility to continue your relationship in the future because he wants u to be his backup whenever he's lonely.

I think all of you are right, especially @Wagtail because social media was where a lot of our problems came from. and @Pinkbird03, you are extremely right too, because he pretty much told me at the beginning of our break up that he wanted to still be able to check up on me and see if i was okay -_- but we all know what he truly meant by that. This morning, i received a text from his mom, and she was saying hi and that i was on her mind. she asked about how i was doing and my family and she asked if i was okay and if i was back at college. I haven't responded yet, because one its a very random text, she knows that her son and I aren't together, and when we were his mom and I had the best relationship. Another thing to throw out, he is a mama's boy, hes the only child, and he is a cancer. That is a LOT to deal with and I an a gemini woman.

Posted by Scrumptious
oh no

^

oh no? @Ophiuchus @Scrumptious

Posted by Confusedgem69
oh no? @Ophiuchus @Scrumptious

yea, this is really bad. another cancer man has been lost

Ignore and move on - this is over, let it go

Yeah, i think that's the best thing for me to do, I honestly can't wait for the day that he realizes he made a huge mistake, not sure when it'll happen, but i know he will and I know that I'll be long gone. I love him so much, but sometimes you gotta love them enough to let them go. I wish he didn't give up on us, but this was a learning experience for me, and I feel better knowing that I did my part.