@missrose
10 Years
Found out I am pregnant..
Is It Wrong to Conceal Pregnancy from Your Partner?
Deciding whether to tell your partner about the pregnancy depends on personal circumstances and ethics. It is important to consider honesty and the potential impact on your relationship. Consulting with a counselor or trusted advisor can help you make the best choice for your situation.
Lol a Cancer, are we?
Yea
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
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I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
Congratulations....? 🤗
On a serious note, papa has a right to know.
Whether you want to extend that right to him is up to you, (not so fortunately for him)
I've been watching too much Banshee lately but I don't see it ending well otherwise.
Best of luck either way.
Just keep your bubba safe and healthy and please consult someone older and wiser in your life.
*cough-notDXP-cough*
Even a family counsellor if you can access that kind of service.
And. Be honest with your new partner but don't allow him to decide for you.
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?#1) Did you cheat on your current boyfriend and get pregnant?
#2) Is the new sucker, I mean your new boyfriend, fully aware that you are pregnant and it isn't his?
#3) In what way was your ex boyfriend abusive?
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No I never cheated on ex or current boyfriend, and my current boyfriend knows the situation and is willing to take on the role.
Ex boyfriend was physically and emotional abuse. He actually punched me in the stomach several times, while I was pregnant (which I didn't know I was at the time ). So I am even surprised I made it through the first trimester with her considering the amount of stress I went threw with the ex boyfriend.
But like I said I didn't find out about the baby until I was already broke up with my ex boyfriend... And was in a new relationship already.
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
So you went 5 whole months thinking you weren't pregnant with NO missed periods, NO weight gain, or any other physical symptoms? Interesting.
TaurusGal92? Is that you?
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Yes I went 5 months, I never had a regular period and actually stopped getting one completely for two years ... So all the years with my ex boyfriend we never used protection.. I never thought i could get pregnant..
I had very little weight gain.
Whats the point of this thread?
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
So you went 5 whole months thinking you weren't pregnant with NO missed periods, NO weight gain, or any other physical symptoms? Interesting.
TaurusGal92? Is that you?
We never used protection.. I never thought i could get pregnant..
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It makes sense.
Some may disagree, but a kid has nothing to gain from having a father who is an abusive piece of shit.
Of course they have something to gain: Knowing who their father is. Duh
Most ppl who grew up without a parent will tell you the worst part is not not knowing what a piece of shit he/she was, but the fact that they knew nothing about the person or where they came from at all.
From my perspective, I've known many people who were raised by an abusive parent or knew their abusive parent growing up.
Every single one of those people expressed to me that they wished they had never known them. That they would have been better off without knowing that type of person or being raised with that type of person.
So I strongly disagree. Most people period, are better off not being around someone who is toxic.
Not knowing will fuck with your mind on a whole different level than knowing & learning to cope with it. I thought this was like psychology for dummies at this point
And no one said anything about being raised by a "toxic person", just that there should be an openness about it and that the father should be in the child's life one way or the other.
Now if my child gets to that age where he or she is asking about their father, I will truthfully (but tactfully) tell them the whole truth about what kind of person their father is.
If after knowing all of that, they still wanted to meet him and know him personally, then ok. At that point the child is old enough to express that he or she wants to be acquainted with their father and I would try to make it happen.
Under careful supervision of course.
Which again, would be YOUR opinion & truth of him and not what "kind of person" he actually is. You made my whole point right there
Your first job in life is to protect that baby if it means giving up your life. You obligations are to your child not some guy who put his nut in the pocket.
Go along with your life the safest most peaceful way possible. Watch the news for 15 min & see what parents are capable of.
Posted by wagtail
Congratulations....? 🤗On a serious note, papa has a right to know.
Whether you want to extend that right to him is up to you, (not so fortunately for him)
I've been watching too much Banshee lately but I don't see it ending well otherwise.
Best of luck either way.
Just keep your bubba safe and healthy and please consult someone older and wiser in your life.
*cough-notDXP-cough*
Even a family counsellor if you can access that kind of service.
And. Be honest with your new partner but don't allow him to decide for you.
Yes to all of this.
Congrats on your new bebe!
Personally, considering your new SO knows and is okay with this all, I wouldn't mention it for fear of my child's safety. Honestly who knows what his reaction will be? He could be bitter, want involvement, want to cause harm. That's way too many chances I'd be uncomfortable with taking.
I would assume id tell the child when (s)he is old enough to understand. But this should be your decision ultimately to decide whom to tell, you need to figure out what is in the best interest for the lil' bebe. I personally would not tell him just because he has "the right to know"
I don't know the extent
Of what you endured, but you also had a right to body autonomy which he obviously disregarded easily.
Maybe some family can give better insight than we can?
Posted by missrose
By my ex and I am already in a new relationship.I don't plan on telling the biological father about the child.
What's your opinion,
Is it wrong?
when is your due date?
I would inform your ex he would be paying child support in the near future so to save up his money.
He should be allowed to be there for delivery if he wants, birthdays and holidays so the child doesn't miss out on family being forced away from them on THEIR special days. You or your boyfriend can't be upset about that until he marries you and adopts the child as his own. He isn't family yet.
Besides that your ex is unneeded. He owes you one btw since he would be in JAIL if you had reported his violence.
The baby is half yours, half the fathers.
You should tell him.
Abusive or not he deserves to know. Your child needs to know who their father is for many reasons. There may be some mental or health issues passed down from him. There are protection orders that you can use to ensure safety for you and your child.
I've been there with my child's father. Just because he was abusive to me I didn't deprive my son from having his father in his life. That would have been selfish. You chose him and you chose to keep the baby so do what's right. That's good that your new guy is willing to help but it is a new relationship that can go either way. You didn't take time between relationships to work on yourself so it could just be a rebound. Be careful
*facepalm* Women can be so insidious. Why do you need to ask this question? What would you want if you were in his position and what do you think is best for your child? Think outside of yourself.
Posted by missrose
By my ex and I am already in a new relationship.I don't plan on telling the biological father about the child.
What's your opinion,
Is it wrong?
when is your due date?
click to expand
I am due 12/21/16. (According to baby's measures)
But the date might change because I found out so late and only had my first Dr. visit ... I see my doctor this week she will check on baby's growth to see if she needs to adjust the date.
Posted by Deadpoop
Give it to me. I will raise it as my own. I will call it Tambor. And it will know how to hunt for some fine ASS.
SHE will be A ballerina...
Posted by missrose
By my ex and I am already in a new relationship.I don't plan on telling the biological father about the child.
What's your opinion,
Is it wrong?
when is your due date?
I am due 12/21/16. (According to baby's measures)
But the date might change because I found out so late and only had my first Dr. visit ... I see my doctor this week she will check on baby's growth to see if she needs to adjust the date.
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You will be at the 24th week of pregnancy within a couple of days which mean you are still eligible for an abortion but only for the next couple of days, depending on which state you live in.
Call and ask your physician if you are interested, do not wait on it.
Confused about the timing here...
You say your 5 months pregnant and its your ex's. How long have you been with your current man, 3 months? What dude would take on the responsibility of raising another mans baby after only dating the chick for a few months?
You must have a magical pussy or something...
Posted by LadyNeptune
Confused about the timing here...You say your 5 months pregnant and its your ex's. How long have you been with your current man, 3 months? What dude would take on the responsibility of raising another mans baby after only dating the chick for a few months?
You must have a magical pussy or something...
Yes, I have been with the new guy for 3 months. It is his choice, I never pressured the issue. Is it really that "unbelievable" for him accepting me and the baby?
Posted by LadyNeptune
Confused about the timing here...You say your 5 months pregnant and its your ex's. How long have you been with your current man, 3 months? What dude would take on the responsibility of raising another mans baby after only dating the chick for a few months?
You must have a magical pussy or something...
Yes, I have been with the new guy for 3 months. It is his choice, I never pressured the issue. Is it really that "unbelievable" for him accepting me and the baby?
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Yeah it's pretty unbelievable. Women are crying on here about how they can't get the guy to commit to a 3rd date. You got your dude ready to raise another mans kid. Bravo.
call maury
@OP
Abusers use children to get back on their victims. Also the system doesn't provide much protection neither for the victims nor the children from abusers. If you can keep it a good secret, there is no need putting yourself and your child into danger.
Posted by SensitiveBlues
1) What are the signs of the two men2) Hell no, i wouldn't tell him, fuk him.
unless you see a complete change in this person, he'll be a nightmare for the rest of your life, you'll be tied to a man who beat you
The father is a Leo sun, cancer moon & Venus, Aries mars, Leo Mercury & Virgo rising
Boyfriend is a Gemini sun & moon, Taurus Venus & cancer mars & mercury - rising is either Libra or Scorpio
Me cancer sun, Virgo Venus, Capricorn Mars, Scorpio moon, Leo mercury & cancer rising
I am sorry. For right now, remain from telling him so that you may have a healthy pregnancy. Who knows what this lunatic is capable of.
After the baby is born, unfortunately he should know. I think? This is a crazy situation.
You're lucky you found a guy thats willing to take on this responsibility. Wish I could find out the results of how things unfold. Like when it's time to care for the baby financially, will the new guy stay? Sheesh. Reality will hit home and he may bail. Let's hope not. Wish you the best. Sorry.
Posted by Rosaknowsya
@missrose if he knows, then this situation is different.Now you have that 'obligation' of, "do I tell my ex?"
What do you think?
It seems clear your intentions.
Can I ask some broad questions?
Are you happy with your new man?
Do you feel guilty?
Do you have doubts?
When your child is born, grows up and finds herself in the same situation, what advice do you give to her?
Yes that's basically how it is. I really don't want my ex in my life..
I am happy with my new man, but part of me still has a fear that its just a "dream"
I trust him in all, but there is always something in me that is afraid to get attached
And not too much guilt considering my "ex" almost took her life before she even had a chance to make herself known, that should VOID him of all rights...
Posted by juliette
this is really a tough situation. i left an abusive partner and we have a kid together, and just today i had a conversation with social workers what gain is from an abusive father. we are in a process for a year and he is using our child to send threats to me, saying to her that i don't love her that i'm a prostitute etc. so they decided that he can see her only in the presence of social workers, and because even that didn't work out good, he is not seeing her at all right now. but in a month we will try again. because they think that whatever the father is like, he has to be in kids life, and if again he does something wrong he will again suffer consequences until he learn how to behave, or if he doesn't learn he will lose the right to see her ever.in the mean time i'm stressing all the time, the burden is on me, scared how will it affect our kid and i was even diagnosed with depression yesterday. so completely pissed i went to social workers to accuse them for my dg. and we had an extensive conversation that made me believe them that indeed i have to try to work this out, cause maybe he will come to his senses. yes, it's not fair, but i don't care since it's my kid well being in question.
so i would tell him. but, before that, prepare as much as you can, with a lawyer, social workers, police and everything to have a protection. good luck
Perfect example of why I don't want to tell him.
Sorry to hear what your going through and the depression and all. Do you have a new man in your life, or how are u dealing with providing a acceptable "father figure" to your child?
Does you "ex" genuinely care about being in the child's life, or is it just a excuses to continue abuse & harass you?
I honestly don't think I will tell my "ex".. He lost his rights in my opinion.
I say the father has a right to know. But set boundaries for him in your head as not to cause drama for yourself and your new relationship. Also how long have you really known this new guy who is so willing to be the child's father? Because in all honesty he may very well decide that he doesn't want to be with you in a couple of years and he could dip or even worse stay with you for the baby and that situation never works even if you stay together the resentment is so strong the child can feel it and men are like toddlers when they are unhappy they start actin up . Not trying to be negative just asking you to consider this guy 200% before you give him that title of father and the abusive ex if you didn't tell him and he found out another way he may very well try to take you to court. Look up parental laws and let him know that you are pregnant and you will keep him informed but that you don't want any contact with him unless it concerns the baby you have a business relationship now and if he wants to be hostile with you then tou have no problem motioning to have his rights revoked.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
This is the type of situation that has kept Maury on air for almost 25 years.
😆
Some may disagree, but a kid has nothing to gain from having a father who is an abusive piece of shit.
Of course they have something to gain: Knowing who their father is. Duh
Most ppl who grew up without a parent will tell you the worst part is not not knowing what a piece of shit he/she was, but the fact that they knew nothing about the person or where they came from at all.
Do you know "most people"? Or are you assuming based off of a few that you may have known?
I ask the same thing regarding 99% of your opinions.
Bye Felicia.
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Lmao that gif!
Yeah it's pretty unbelievable. Women are crying on here about how they can't get the guy to commit to a 3rd date. You got your dude ready to raise another mans kid. Bravo.
Lol just lol @ the beta cuckold
Is he a danger to the baby? Is he a danger to you?
Posted by LillyPetal
Is he a danger to the baby? Is he a danger to you?
Not at the moment, she is still in jail until the middle of this month
I actually think he already knows of the baby, because he wrote me on social media somehow while in jail.. Don't think he knows it is his, but I could be wrong.
I don't think he is going come out and attack me or anything like that.. But if we got back together, there would be more abuse Im sure.
As for the baby, I don't "think" he would hurt her, he likes kids n all.. But I honestly don't know for sure. He always said if he ever had a little girl he would be overprotective. He is the type that has a problem with thinking all women are whores..
for real?
10 million different forms of contraception on the market, will you use some after you pop?
Probably not.
lol at that Arnold gif 😄
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
What nonsense.. U had no periods fr 5months and ot dint occur to u.. Smh. O lord.. U have ao many symptoms by this time.. Just lol
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No, I mentioned before I wasn't getting a period for a couple years prior & never used protection with my "ex". So, I thought I was infertile...
But its fine. I am happy to have her & love her so much already. K, bye.
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
What nonsense.. U had no periods fr 5months and ot dint occur to u.. Smh. O lord.. U have ao many symptoms by this time.. Just lol
No, I mentioned before I wasn't getting a period for a couple years prior & never used protection with my "ex". So, I thought I was infertile...
But its fine. I am happy to have her & love her so much already. K, bye.
You thought you were infertile is irrelevant. Once you got pregnant, you will have rush of hormones causing you symptoms..it takes a mentally retarded person to not know she could be pregnant until 5months. Don't talk bs. You are clearly not retarded and therefore big time troll and that too a pretty dumb one.
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Stfu ugly btch
Posted by missrose
Okay, what if he was abusive and my current boyfriend is willing to take on the father role?abortion.
I am already halfway through my pregnancy, I found out at 5 months
What nonsense.. U had no periods fr 5months and ot dint occur to u.. Smh. O lord.. U have ao many symptoms by this time.. Just lol
No, I mentioned before I wasn't getting a period for a couple years prior & never used protection with my "ex". So, I thought I was infertile...
But its fine. I am happy to have her & love her so much already. K, bye.
You thought you were infertile is irrelevant. Once you got pregnant, you will have rush of hormones causing you symptoms..it takes a mentally retarded person to not know she could be pregnant until 5months. Don't talk bs. You are clearly not retarded and therefore big time troll and that too a pretty dumb one.
Stfu ugly btch
Dumb
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Okayyy, your just as dumb for responding. Bye.
Posted by missrose
By my ex and I am already in a new relationship.I don't plan on telling the biological father about the child.
What's your opinion,
Is it wrong?
This is what happens when you play around with nature.....
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The look on their face.
Ever wonder what the look on a blind man's face looks like when he finds out?
Absolutely disgraceful.
IMHO, tell the real father.
This is going to be hard for the kid all his life.
Posted by TheLibraMudra
Don't give too many f ucks about what's going on and I'm not defending anyone in this thread but from what little I did read...Not everyone gets this huge surge of hormonal symptoms right away when they are pregnant. I didn't even find out until I was 13 weeks along. Irregular periods were totally normal for me since I started puberty. I didn't start puking and all that until the 5th/6th month. I thought something was weird when I kept eating cheese bagels all day. All day. All night. Toasted and meticulously put together. Drooling over the thought of it. Hahahaha. And everything smelled funny.
Yea I had some major cravings too... But I didn't eat everyday so I thought I was just starving. Lol. And I did get pretty "crazy & hormonal" for a little bit, but I was also "dealing" with my ex so yea ...
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By my ex and I am already in a new relationship.
I don't plan on telling the biological father about the child.
What's your opinion,
Is it wrong?