My Current Situation w/ a Cancer

Q: Does he honestly still want this relationship to work? A: Maybe Who knows what a Cancer is thinking, sometimes they don't even know.

Q:Should I just give him space? Will that even help? A: Definitely YES! It will force him to make a choice, giving you clarity. Be Warned: You might not get the results you want.

Q: How can I just erase everything and go back to what we were? A: Decide what you want, and make a new choice. Don't dwell in the past.

Q: Does he just want to break up? A: Again, Maybe. Nobody truly knows the depths of the black hole known as the Cancerian mind.

Love Hurts, that's the truth of the matter. It's impossible to predict what any other individual is thinking or will do. The only thing we can all really rely on is ourselves. Therefore, do what your gut tells you, not ignoring your inner feelings. This is generally the best thing to do. Always be positive about yourself and life. Good Luck and Good Living.

tumblinscorpio, i think he is not sure about this long distance thing...he may be in the process of making a choice himself...so...he himself doesn't know what he wants...most probably there are pros and cons and he's weighing them

if i were you, i would behave as if we lasted forever, no matter how far we are...i'd add a little more humour and less bitterness to this.

as about that co-worker...it's his way to ask for reassurance, i suppose otherwise he would have hidden it/her...make a scene, yell at him, be jealous...i think he wants you to show you care. this would also set a boundary in case of LDR...cheating is not an option. no type of cheating.

i'd consider Cybercrab's opinion. do whatever you feel is right for you, just be sure you do it for YOU, that it is YOUR choice to do that.

good luck

Don't put that much importance on the coworker who's flirting with him. Here's the thing with some of us Cancers; we are terribly needy in the wanting our egos stroked. It's not the same as Leos and some of the others, but a desire to have those feel good vibes kept flowing because it doesn't take much for the dumpier moods to hit and try to drag us under. It's a fun, ego boosting distraction, nothing more. Fill that void a little more and she won't be so interesting to him. DO talk to him honestly about it; how and why he's doing it and how it makes you feel. It will give him food for thought on a part of his own behavior he might not have put too much thought into. Considering that you're doing this long distance makes it harder because you can't be around each other in a physical way for that extra reassurance for each other.

It's a contradiction that we are: proud and full of our own confidence and also wanting validation from time to time. Sort of makes us itchy emotionally.

I doubt he wants to break up. We don't toss people aside that easily....at least not without a HUGE reason for doing it (betrayal, for instance).

Add that he's a man having to deal with all of this emotional shit inside while trying to hide some of that and I can't imagine how much more frustrating it must be for him to be a Cancer.

I'm a huge, biased pro cancer/scorpio supporter, so I say don't give up just yet.

Posted by tumblinscorpio
Question: (Regardless of the star sign) Can long distance relationships work?

Yes, but there HAS to be trust, VERY good and mature communication and mutual love and also to have the same goal so that you know you're both headed towards being together, but you know circumstances aren't allowing it at the moment.

Posted by tumblinscorpio
Question: (Regardless of the star sign) Can long distance relationships work?

i and my cancer are doing fine
there's another girl on here in a ldr with a cancer man who says it's ok

but mind ldr's are very different from proximity ones and have different dynamic...they take a lot more patience, understanding, trust, communication, etc.

and sth else...i think february wasn't the best month for cancer men[i had some "hiccups" with my cancer as well]

and sth else...cancers, at least the ones i know, are funny and smart but they are not the most positive people in the world and they have the tendency to be taken over by gloomy perspectives. so..it is you who has to stay positive if your decision is to make it work.

Posted by tumblinscorpio
Ahh, Im really appreciative of your replies. Ive had a hard time dealing with this, Ive just blurted it out randomly to my closest friends & my mom like I have emotional tourettes. He's (the bf) difficult because he refuses to see the big deal & only opens up when I least expect him to.

Thanks, MoonArtist. Haha, I didnt realise how great cancers are til this guy. He is a handful emotional & sometimes too needy. But I love butter out of him. I really want us to make it work. I know in my heart we could have a great future. But theres a lot of insecurities floating about that havent been dealt with from both of us.

Give a Cancer your unconditional love and acceptance, and we'll give you everything. It really boils down to wanting a very deep and intense emotional connection for most of us, someone who is willing, able and unafraid to swim in the same dangerous waters that we swim in, someone who can match us in the emotional intensity and not hide, someone who's strengths mesh with our weaknesses and vice versa.

Im not a cancer...but something to me sounds really fishy re the co worker situation. Totally disrespectful for him to be flirting and texting another chick while in a relationship....and hiding the fact that hes in one from the co worker. That to me would be a huge red flag...and cause me to be very suspicious. IMO the crying doesnt mean shit...he got caught...guys will do and saying anything when being caught doing something they know is wrong. Not all guys do this but I wouldnt take that show to heart as a definite sign that hes sorry....hence turning around a week later and basically acting like youre over reacting.

But on the other hand im curious as to....what is the more situation with the co worker that you dont want to write about? Did you find inappropriate texts between them? Just seems kinda weird that you would leave most likely a big part of the story out....maybe cause you dont want to hear what you already know?

sorry to say it, but your relationship doesn't seem to be very strong...

If they work together....they arent going to stop talking.

Did she tell him in a text that she wanted to fuck him? or is he telling you this?

Yeah there is nothing wrong with guys having girls as friends or even talking with other female co workers...but when a line has been stepped over ...like she did...he should have backed way the fuck up and ended it right there. He didnt...he cont it even after telling you he would stop.

I honestly think you have your answer...you already said the trust is gone....so what else is left?

Posted by LostinmyMind11
Yeah there is nothing wrong with guys having girls as friends or even talking with other female co workers...but when a line has been stepped over ...like she did...he should have backed way the fuck up and ended it right there. He didnt...he cont it even after telling you he would stop.

I honestly think you have your answer...you already said the trust is gone....so what else is left?

i agree

Posted by tumblinscorpio
I know, you're right. Even if he has really ended things with her I still feel betrayed and the trust is gone. I'll just have to end it. It's weird I've been going through all types of emotions, at this point I'm just done. It's not physical but the intention was there. It'll be hard letting someone else back in for a while 😢

wise decision.

BUT next time you post on such sites, please, tell how things truly are from the very beginning...no need to beautify things on here...you give half truths, you'll get half-valid opinions...not nice for either parts...

good luck

Posted by tumblinscorpio
I know, you're right. Even if he has really ended things with her I still feel betrayed and the trust is gone. I'll just have to end it. It's weird I've been going through all types of emotions, at this point I'm just done. It's not physical but the intention was there. It'll be hard letting someone else back in for a while 😢

Im sorry ...don't let one ass ruin it for you in terms of love. Life is too short to be miserable and upset in a relationship...yes relationships take work and are hard sometimes but you should never let someone disrespect you! If he cared for you ..he wouldnt be out trying to do whatever with another chick. The whole "he just needs reassurance" is bs....that should never be used as an excuse for someone to behave in such a disrespectful manner towards you!

Good luck! 🙂

Posted by tumblinscorpio
Well. Sorry for hiding the previous posts. I just hate knowing that I got myself into this mess 😢
We had a huge argument a week or so later because I found out that he had also joined a few casual dating sites WAY before I thought our problems actually began (since December) and he'd been visiting regularly. When I confronted him, he admitted the photos I saw were his, but someone had stolen it. Lies, clearly. So I left him. Honestly, I dont know if I can trust a guy again, he really was so sweet and kind and made me believe he was 100% loyal and 100% committed to me. If anything I just hate myself for not seeing the signs and finding out sooner.

there is no "sooner" in such situations...it happened...PERIOD
there's no reason for you to blame yourself or doubt the entire male population of the world...because of one guy.

take it easy. be kind and supportive to yourself. do things you like. don't necessarily go overboard...you have nothing to prove...not to you, not to him, not to anybody...your life belongs strictly to you and you have to enjoy living it...at your own pace...

good luck