How to handle betrayal...(cancers only please)

I don't remember the last time I felt so let down and betrayed. So thankful for not coming out of my little shell and revealing more of myself. The worst part is the regret for all I've done for the miserable little wreck that lied, used and stabbed me in the heart. Perhaps I deserve it for being open to the idea(more like a fantasy) that I was dealing with a genuine being. That being turned out to be a lying, selfish, manipulative, hypocritical demon.
So disgusted that I can't even cuss. Any of you have picked up on how much I like to do that understand the significance.
Before the situation gets any worse, please advice on what to do, say, how to respond to someone who has done the worst thing they could do to you without turning yourself in to the villain and making the point that they are trash?

Men who lie just to get close to you so they can use your for what you can do for them. Making false promises just to get close to you. I'm too upset to go into details. Its too late to call a friend or leave the house for a drive. I'm sick, SICK over it. How can people just use and lie and use and lie someone who actually is there for THEM in life? It isn't right.

You mean ICE him?

Honestly, if I need the guy for something I will use him then dump him fast and hard.

Beyond ICE.....show him that there's a cold worse than the one beyond the Wall. Make him wish he was lost in a blizzard.

I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how it feels. Process it and then cut that person out completely. I've had to do this and you'll be amazed at how liberating it is when they're out of your life.

And then I'm the cold hearted bitch. I hate that. People mistreat us and when we get away they accuse of bad behavior. Completely ignoring the reason behind why they got iced. Not fair.

Kim, you're not a bitch for shoving someone out the proverbial door because they lied, stabbed you in the back, etc. As far as anyone who is sane is concerned you have every right to not have to deal with such a person.

For those who will judge you wrongly, they don't matter and they're wrong. Ignore them and rethink how much they have your back.

So what are narcissistic behaviors? What should you be on the lookout for? Instead of using the nine criteria put out by the American Psychiatric Association, which is meant to help full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I developed my own list of specific behaviors that I have found are common in a wide variety of people with unhealthy narcissism — from those with only tendencies, to those with full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The bottom line is that no matter what level of behavior they exhibit, these people can still be detrimental to your health and well being, both physically and emotionally.

The following is a list of Red Flag narcissistic behaviors. These may help you to gain a clearer understanding of how a narcissist acts. Somatic narcissists may have more behaviors related to their bodies, while the cerebral ones will be more intellectually oriented. Not all of these behaviors will necessarily show up in each person, and, in fact, many of us will likely have some of them ourselves. But if you have checked off a vast majority of the boxes on this list, the odds are in your favor that you are on treacherous ground.

Extreme infatuation with oneself, self-centered, expects to be recognized as superior

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Sees himself as —special?? and should only have to affiliate with others of a similar stature

Takes advantage of others to achieve his needs

Demonstrates a constant need for admiration or approval

Exaggerates personal achievements while minimizing those of others

Is convinced that he/she is unique

Feels entitled to special treatment and that rules frequently don't apply to him

May propose love and marriage within only a few weeks of starting a relationship

Very charismatic or charming at first, but can quickly switch from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde without apparent cause

May insist that he know your whereabouts at all times

Demands compliance with his/her expectations

Is unable to demonstrate or understand empathy or compassion

Does not seem to feel real happiness or positive emotions

Often criticizes and/or puts others down

Assumes himself to be more knowledgeable than those around him

Panics, cries, begs, and becomes emotional if he anticipates an end to a relationship

May harass or stalk you if you do break up

Quick to anger or feel insulted or slighted

Rages with anger or inflicts the —silent treatment?? when upset

Denies he/she has issues to work on — sees himself/herself as nearly perfect

May often take unnecessary risks

Frequently humiliates or abuses others, although he/she doesn't see it as abuse

Sulks when he/she doesn't get his/her way

Nothing is ever his/her fault

Exaggerates the truth or blatantly lies

Rarely treats anyone with respect or kindness

Doesn't acknowledge or respect other??s boundaries

Always wants to be in control

May drink and drive regularly

His/her need for attention, time, and space matter — yours do not

Has difficulty putting himself/herself in another??s shoes

Uses sex as a weapon — through withholding, controlling, or being overly demanding

Rarely recognizes the accomplishments or abilities of others

Doesn't appear to have a conscience

Does not take criticism well and becomes defensive easily

Rarely expresses appreciation of others

Is easily hurt and insulted

Considers most others in the world —idiots??

Shows no feelings of remorse or guilt for his/her mistakes or the hurts he/she dishes out

Wins most arguments through the use of rationalizing his/her behavior

Blames others for all his/her problems

Frequently complains that whatever you do, it isn't —good enough??

Is often paranoid — thinks people are talking about him/her behind his/her back

Has a hard time accepting the opinions or ideas of others

May attempt to limit loved ones from spending time with others

May want to have complete control of the family money

Always has to win any argument

Is often envious of others, or thinks others envy him/her

May feel entitled to go through your purse, closet, or other personal belongings without your permission

His/her attitude is generally haughty or arrogant

Rarely can understand another??s point of view

Expects you to read his/her mind when he/she wants something

Hates to stand in line — he/she shouldn't have to, as his/her time is more valuable than others

Frequently —forgets?? to give birthday and holiday cards and gifts to loved ones

May ignore you or be indifferent to you for no reason

Leaves others feeling as though they need to

Leaves others feeling as though they need to —walk on eggshells?? around him

Hates to be thought of as ordinary or average

Is desperate to have the biggest house, car, bank account, or title

Often leaves you feeling guilty, drained, fearful, exhausted, just plain stupid, and most of all, wondering how you got there.

is this guy a leo?

No. I don't talk to Leos.

"And silence was the stern reply." Tennyson. Lose this bastard's number. Do not respond to any text, email or phone call from him. Don't give him even the satisfaction of knowing how you feel about him, the dirtbag moved he pulled on you (he already knows) or anything else. The best revenge you can get on him is to cut bait and don't even give him the dignity of a good bye, see ya later. If he confronts you, you say, "I'm sorry but you were just a piece of ass I was tapping. I got tired." Seriously. You owe him NOTHING and that's exactly what he should get. Sorry this happened to you. You're a strong woman. You'll love again and we all get burned sometimes.

Take a stun gun and freeze him out.

i feel you fully..... i've been hurt... broken... betrayed... but yet i stayed... you will have that moment where you just wont even give af anymore. and just cut all ties. everyone has their boiling point.

What everyone else said. Sounds like an "energy parasite" too. Hugs to you!

stay stronnnnggggg sister we cancerians dint handle betrayal well but we can handle the cause with our claws

Reincarnation, it's not the pissing us off you have to worry about. Most Scorpios I know find a Cancer woman having a snit to be a bit of a turn on and a challenge. It's betraying one that you shouldn't do. When I hit the breaking point and decide to cut the whole thing I tend to do it to devastating effect. It's a burn all the bridges mentality so that there's zero doubt not only where the offending person stands but exactly how I feel about them. The innate knowing what will hurt and therefore keeping that far away from the people I love is the very thing I use as a weapon when I've been stabbed in the back.

Get him out of your system. Disappear. Take care of yourself kim30. God bless you.

Posted by Reincarnation
Remind me not to piss off a Cancer woman.

Cancers are cardinals and we don't suffer bullshit or betrayal in silence. So yeah, be afraid. Be very afraid.

This person sounds like a self centered Capricorn or a secretive Scorpio. A betrayal of this magnitude can send emotional shockwaves to a Cancer person (assuming you are a Cancer), and if not careful, can sink our ship. Our first instinct is to try to figure out what, and why it happened. Unfortunately, we are probably incapable of understanding the workings of some of these traitors, because it takes one to know one. Based on your reaction, you don't appear to be like this. Our second instinct is probably to blame ourselves somehow, but we really can't be responsible for someone else's actions. Finally our third instinct is to make ourselves feel good, (Ice Cream anyone) and hope things get better. Things will get better, once you cut this traitor way out of your life. Nobody ever deserves to be betrayed, especially if all you did was be kind to this person. As far as feeling good, find healthy and constructive ways to get your mind away from this traitor. The best thing you can do is simply walk away, change your contact info, and have nothing to do with this person. Optionally, you can get even, but I don't recommend it,since it will consume you and you don't control the outcome. OK! If you insist! One pint of Pralines N Cream Ice Cream from Baskin Robbins, and post us in the morning.

Lastly, listen to the wisdom of Paul Simon:

Posted by MoonArtist
Beyond ICE.....show him that there's a cold worse than the one beyond the Wall. Make him wish he was lost in a blizzard.

I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how it feels. Process it and then cut that person out completely. I've had to do this and you'll be amazed at how liberating it is when they're out of your life.

Stole the words right out of my mouth(fingers?)