Need advice on a cancer male

Over a year ago I met a cancer man,moon in Pisces,venus in Gemini,I am an aries,Cap Moon,venus in Pisces.Me and this cancer man got very close,we weren't together as boyfriend/girlfriend but we were definitely more than friends "friends with feelings"
Over the year he played the push pull game with me,Always telling me he missed me and it drove him crazy he couldn't be with me,but he always spoke about it but never put his words to action.
He had a lot of issues with his family and decided to move out of state to clear his head and of course be with his mom. He always kept in touch having me coming to visit him,there wasn't a day he didn't call or skype with me.He always spoke on how he was going to come back and with the possiblity of us being together.While he was with his mom he started drinking a lot calling on how miserable he was,he also got in some trouble *nothing too serious. However he started to get really mean with me while he was drunk. I was really hurt by that. One night he was terrible,after he realized how he treated me he flew me down to make it up to me.While I was visiting him, he bragged how he was dating a girl he wasn't into. I wasn't sure what to believe. I got angry and was hurt. I couldn't understand but realized nothing was going to ever happen except for us being friends
Well here is the part I need advice. One night I was in trouble something terrible happened in my family and ex,just say the police was involved. Being upset that night I decided I was going to drink which I usually don't, I got so drunk like I never have been in my life. I called him crying about what happened,what I do remember is I was mad at him he didn't seem to care.. The rest I don't remember but I guess I contacted the girl he was involved with online saying how much of a jerk he was. I Can't believe I did that!! it was out of my character. I regret it so much.I woke up with text after text by him calling me names and saying he never wanted to talk to me anymore. We were close, I was there for him when he was down and took care of things for him during our friendship. Its been 2 months and I haven't apologized to him. I don't know how to. I hear cancers like to hang on to things and I've noticed he hasn't deleted me from social media, I'm not sure if that is his way to hang on to me. How do I apologize to him? Is it worth it? Do cancers hang on to anger? How would you guys react?

Posted by Latingal415
I have a friend who has the cancer/pisces moon combo I'm assuming he got really mad for what you did but he probably does care because he didn't delete you. I would suggest sending him a message apologizing for your actions. And of you want to take it further just delete him. I'm a cancer and I hold onto things all the time and sometimes I need the other person to just be direct and call me out and cut ties with me because I don't have the strength to do it myself. Maybe then he will realize how much you helped him. And if he doesn't theirs no point wasting your energy on someone who doesn't appreciate you.

@latingal415 Thank you for your insight..he definitely got mad, calling me names,telling me to forget about him. I did delete him and I have respected his request not to contact him. I definitely want to apologize but can't find the words.Plus I think it might fall on dead years,He was really mad at me. My Cap moon makes it hard for me to express my feelings at times, I should and want to apologize just don't know what to say. Also,I'm afraid he will get even more angry and go further into his shell.