LittleVirgo
@LittleVirgo
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 9 · Topics: 1
NEED SOME HELP WITH A CANCER.
Posted by LittleVirgo
Alright. I've known cancers and have been pretty close to them through out my life. Usually there the most amazing people I have ever met. However, things are NOT going well with this one. The sad fact is something changed in me when I met this one. There was an intense energy exchange. I felt the energy the next day, it was that intense.
Anyway. I fell right in love with him instantly (shame on me) because things got rocky from there. First on my part, I completely loose track of my motor skills around this guy, its ridiculous! I find my self questioning what I'm saying around him. Wondering if it will cause the right reaction or something. I have no idea how to be around this guy and it scares the hell outta me!
So back to where this ramble is going. I met him a month ago. We chatted randomly, but I had to start the conversation and it didn't go bad, but it was strange. He tried to control me from the get go. Which doesn't work with me. Your my equal or your nothing important to me. There is still a slight power struggle but nothing out of control. One day he tried to slam a door in my face, I slammed it back and he got the equality issue resolved. (He held the door the next time.) So after the recap here's the point.
I add him on facebook. We talk off and on, he tells his friends I'm annoying and don't shut up. (Which isn't a lie but not entirely true either). The proceeds to give me his e-mail address in case "I need him".
I talk to him on messenger, he responds. I don't know why but I told him all about my life, good and bad, and about my resolve to be better than all those who hurt me. And much, much kinder. I told him I wand to be his friends, he doesn't like friends. Tell him he can trust him, he says he doesn't trust anyone. After that he ignores me for awhile. So naturally I got mad and a friend told him to at least tell me why and he said something along the lines, of ignoring and blocking me. And how he's just the kinda guy who doesn't care. Which hurt me a lot because turns out the dick got right under my skin. I ignored him back for a week... but during that whole week of ignoring him. I was still considerate, we usually leave at the same time, I hold the door, for him. Small energy things and gestures mainly. Then one day he starts talking to me again. I'm friends with his friend and brother, therefore am at his house sometime
what do you mean he blocked you?
He didn't block me, he ignored me and told someone else to block me. Ignored me verbally for a week or so, and now he's talking to me off and on again.
Who cares? He sounds like a fucking douchebag to me.
One thing I've learned about dealing with men in general is that it is always wisest to take them at face value. If he's slamming doors in your face, if you know he's talking shit about you to his friends, if he's admitting that he's the type of guy who doesn't care, then believe him!
He's obviously fighting you every step of the way. You say you wanna be friends and he tells you he doesn't like friends. You tell him he can trust you and he tells you he doesn't trust anyone. This is because he is a control freak and you won't let him do it. He probably is attracted to you but by you not letting him have his way he is gonna be how he is to spite you as a revenge tactic. The controlling aspect of his personality really shines through when you claimed that he gave you his email address in case you "need him". You took the bait and he knew how to get you hooked. He's giving you just enough slack to stay on the line and beating you down in the process.
I'm not saying you should give in. He needs to grow the fuck up is what really needs to happen. He also sounds completely full of himself and selfish. You're probably better off leaving this one alone. He's emotionally unhealthy right now and is gonna need to go through a whole series of emotional upheavals before he can be ready for a real relationship.
I've had a really intense friendship with someone before where the sexual tension and energy exchange was almost too much to bear on both sides. I finally had to cut things off even though I wanted him more than I wanted anyone in my life (at the time). It was unhealthy and destructive. He led me then blew hot and cold. Often times we can find that we love someone and desire them deeply but they are not healthy for us. If we're gonna be any good to anyone else then we have to make the right choices for ourselves first.
One thing I've learned about dealing with men in general is that it is always wisest to take them at face value. If he's slamming doors in your face, if you know he's talking shit about you to his friends, if he's admitting that he's the type of guy who doesn't care, then believe him!
He's obviously fighting you every step of the way. You say you wanna be friends and he tells you he doesn't like friends. You tell him he can trust you and he tells you he doesn't trust anyone. This is because he is a control freak and you won't let him do it. He probably is attracted to you but by you not letting him have his way he is gonna be how he is to spite you as a revenge tactic. The controlling aspect of his personality really shines through when you claimed that he gave you his email address in case you "need him". You took the bait and he knew how to get you hooked. He's giving you just enough slack to stay on the line and beating you down in the process.
I'm not saying you should give in. He needs to grow the fuck up is what really needs to happen. He also sounds completely full of himself and selfish. You're probably better off leaving this one alone. He's emotionally unhealthy right now and is gonna need to go through a whole series of emotional upheavals before he can be ready for a real relationship.
I've had a really intense friendship with someone before where the sexual tension and energy exchange was almost too much to bear on both sides. I finally had to cut things off even though I wanted him more than I wanted anyone in my life (at the time). It was unhealthy and destructive. He led me then blew hot and cold. Often times we can find that we love someone and desire them deeply but they are not healthy for us. If we're gonna be any good to anyone else then we have to make the right choices for ourselves first.
Stupidly, I didn't want to believe him.
Its a fight all the time, right from the beginning. Its always some sort of showdown. Not that I don't enjoy a challenge, I live for them. There's no way I would let anyone control me. Yeah I took the bait, and the sad thing is that I knew exactly what he was doing, how and when. I let it happen. I guess a part of me wanted to see exactly how far he would take it. And of course he took it and ran till I cut the line. I think that confused him a little.
He's extremely immature, a whole other level below it. He's also a year younger than me. He is full of himself and selfish. But a lot of that is the shell he's building. He has a whole "I don't give a crap about anyone or anything, I'm a tough guy and no one can hurt me" thing going. But its completely see through. Because he deflates anytime someone says something negative and he gets hurt. I've seen him with his brother too. Someone started something with his brother and his shell dropped with his suspicions. And I happened to catch a glimpse of it. I'm not interested in this guys game I just want to win it. LOL. I was thinking about it today and I can't really see myself with him. And then I feel upset. Your right he's emotionally unhealthy and as a person who is just starting to balance my emotions and getting to where I need to be, I think it would be toxic to involve myself. But I just can't help it. I just can't back down from a challenge.
I applaud your ability to cut it off. It must have been hard to do. As I'm finding it hard to cut this one off. I think I'm going to have to. Thank you for your opinion and advive Ninjamu. It was striking and I'm really considering everything you've said. Thanks again.
Its a fight all the time, right from the beginning. Its always some sort of showdown. Not that I don't enjoy a challenge, I live for them. There's no way I would let anyone control me. Yeah I took the bait, and the sad thing is that I knew exactly what he was doing, how and when. I let it happen. I guess a part of me wanted to see exactly how far he would take it. And of course he took it and ran till I cut the line. I think that confused him a little.
He's extremely immature, a whole other level below it. He's also a year younger than me. He is full of himself and selfish. But a lot of that is the shell he's building. He has a whole "I don't give a crap about anyone or anything, I'm a tough guy and no one can hurt me" thing going. But its completely see through. Because he deflates anytime someone says something negative and he gets hurt. I've seen him with his brother too. Someone started something with his brother and his shell dropped with his suspicions. And I happened to catch a glimpse of it. I'm not interested in this guys game I just want to win it. LOL. I was thinking about it today and I can't really see myself with him. And then I feel upset. Your right he's emotionally unhealthy and as a person who is just starting to balance my emotions and getting to where I need to be, I think it would be toxic to involve myself. But I just can't help it. I just can't back down from a challenge.
I applaud your ability to cut it off. It must have been hard to do. As I'm finding it hard to cut this one off. I think I'm going to have to. Thank you for your opinion and advive Ninjamu. It was striking and I'm really considering everything you've said. Thanks again.
He is as immature and selfish as my ex was. Try to keep away from him
You??re a smart ass cookie LittleVirgo...and tough to boot. Love that shit. I am also a Virgo girl and I was in a very similar situation with a Cancer boy which I will come back and share in depth later on. Please listen to ninjamu. She gives great advice. So far, you are definitely on the right track. Cancer men can be quite controlling and extremely selfish and immature when they have not fully evolved. One main problem between the Cancer man/Virgo woman that can arise is the Cancer mans need to control and if anybody knows a Virgo woman, trying to control us is like trying to get hell to freeze over. I say stick to your guns and don't allow his emotional manipulation and tactics to send you over the edge (Cancer men have a knack for sending the usually calm, cool and collected Virgo woman into a tizzy! They do have the ability to do something so awful and strange to us. LOL) Please keep your head on straight and keep your distance. He can be beat at his own game and it would have to be by you freezing him out completely. Trust me, they can't stand that and no one can freeze someone out like a Virgo. He has some growing up to do (as I'm sure you do too) and if you continue to allow him to get into your head, it will only begin to wear on your self confidence and he will have you exactly where he wants you. I say be above it and chuck him to the side, go on with your life and work on yourself. Oh and you might also want to stay out of his house while you are at it. Good luck, babe.
Posted by LittleVirgo
Not that I don't enjoy a challenge, I live for them. There's no way I would let anyone control me
It just sounds just like me... I really am a fan of the Cancer/Virgo relationship and I did enjoyed your story. Do I have to tell you that you just jumped in the roller coaster? and it's gonna take a while to jump out!!! I loved the "door phase"! Anyway...
When I 've got so close to this cancer he started saying a lot of things... that he is a bad person, that even his mom said he is a snake, that he can't be faithfull, a lot of negative things (just like yours - he can't trust anyone...). But the person I had in front of me was so different from the one he was trying to describe. And I believed in what was best in him! I was right there next to him (don't forget the roller coaster!) no matter how we've acted. And he learned how to trust me without asking him to do this. After a few months he's words were like "you're my guarding angel", "you're like a mother to me", "i love you", "i am very very very attached to you", "what i feel is so intense", "you are the light from my soul". Aren't these words gonna melt you ? 🙂) Yeahhh... It was all... the disappearing (his or mine, because we virgos know how to disappear too), the cold look, the manipulative words (he once called me selfish because I didn't want to do what he wanted and told me i am just like all the other girls - this only made me prove him that I AM NOT!).
I don't know if this post helps you or tells you what to do ... I just want to say that a lot of nice things will come from this relationship (not necessary a love relationship). I think virgos have a lot to learn from the cancers, and it will only make us better persons. If you see him down, encourage him, tell him some nice words, even if you are on the "I ignore you" phase. If you see him sad when no one else does, ask him, "why are you sad"?
Hope to hear more from you!
Virgo's always seem to make my day. Thank you all for your advice and encouragement. I'm on vacation now, so i'm using this time to really think about what's going on and what I think is the best approach. I'm not going to give up on him, because I do see something different in him from what he presents. But I'm certainly not going to let myself be dragged down or let someone manipulate me. So I think I'm just going to have to tweak my game plan a little differently. Pull up a different essence of my personality, and let it shine. He'll either be blinded or dazzled lol.
VirgoVixen, I'd definitely love to hear your cancer story. I could have been checked into the nut house, I was messed for awhile. The manipulation started and worked until I caught on. Why stay out of his house though?
AngelicVirgo!
Wow Yeah I jumped right onto that roller coaster... How are you and your cancer now?
I'm new to this site but wow I wasn't expecting people to actually be interested in sharing there opinions. Thanks for all your support already its amazing 🙂
VirgoVixen, I'd definitely love to hear your cancer story. I could have been checked into the nut house, I was messed for awhile. The manipulation started and worked until I caught on. Why stay out of his house though?
AngelicVirgo!
Wow Yeah I jumped right onto that roller coaster... How are you and your cancer now?
I'm new to this site but wow I wasn't expecting people to actually be interested in sharing there opinions. Thanks for all your support already its amazing 🙂
He is going to play tug-of-war with your emotions until you lay down the law with him.
Human beings with decency tend to be taken advantage of, unless of course they make a stand and let others know the facts.
You should be very bold, forthright and fearless when you tell him that he should cut the crap and commit already.
If he runs away, then start dating someone else and you will be surprised at how fast he most likely comes running back.
Human beings with decency tend to be taken advantage of, unless of course they make a stand and let others know the facts.
You should be very bold, forthright and fearless when you tell him that he should cut the crap and commit already.
If he runs away, then start dating someone else and you will be surprised at how fast he most likely comes running back.
Posted by LittleVirgo
VirgoVixen, I'd definitely love to hear your cancer story. I could have been checked into the nut house, I was messed for awhile. The manipulation started and worked until I caught on. Why stay out of his house though?
Well before you posted this last message stating that you are not going to give up on him, I was suggesting that you leave him alone altogether because it's obvious that he still has alot of growing up to do and in your last message you did mention that you can't see yourself with him. If you can't see yourself with him and know that he is playing games, my thought is that it would be wise to try and cut as much contact with him as possible (isn't there some other way that you can connect with his brother and friend?) and this way you can save your sanity in the process especially since you also mentioned that he tests you when you go to his house. It's just a thought. However, if you feel like this is something you must do then I say go for it. You are a big girl and now that you have caught on to his "game", you may actually be able to rewrite the script, crack him open and have a go at something really special. Just remember to continue to guard your heart in the process until you get to the 50/50 stage. I wish you much luck and please keep us posted.
Well everyone... I couldn't pinpoint what the hell was different about this cancer... I figured it out. He's a Gemini. -Awkward-. But yeah. Were actually getting along really well lately. I'm enjoying his company and entertainment. He talks to me now. After my vacation I decided that something was up, so I asked him his birthday again, found out that he LIED! And got someone else to as well. But he decided lying to me wasn't the best rout since I caught him... every time he "exaggerates" a something in front of me, he corrects himself. LOL!
Though I'm still a bit grudging about him lying to me about his birthday. -its settled now.
But yeah. His personality makes sense now.
Though I'm still a bit grudging about him lying to me about his birthday. -its settled now.
But yeah. His personality makes sense now.
He's completely switched from asshole to bearable so to speak. Still a long way to go, but he's warming up to me much more and I'm warming up to him.
Ignore him Ignore him Ignore him.
Cancers hate being ignored be short sweet and make him jealous.
Ignore him....dont open no doors nothing. just stop talking to him. It will work, he lsated a week not talking to yu.
He is trying to manipulate you.
Ignore him.
Cancers hate being ignored be short sweet and make him jealous.
Ignore him....dont open no doors nothing. just stop talking to him. It will work, he lsated a week not talking to yu.
He is trying to manipulate you.
Ignore him.
Posted by justSophs
Ignore him Ignore him Ignore him.
Cancers hate being ignored be short sweet and make him jealous.
Ignore him....dont open no doors nothing. just stop talking to him. It will work, he lsated a week not talking to yu.
He is trying to manipulate you.
Ignore him.
She just said he is a gemini! Do you still believe he is a cancer? It's obviously he lied... we'll further see with what!
Posted by THEKingofLibra
Oh no, he is still an asshole. Just an asshole with a plan that requires being nice.
I'll certainly be keeping that in mind. We wont be seeing each other very often since the class finished. So I guess I'll see what happens. lol.
Ignore the Gemini man!?
He will just go date 3 other girls at the same time.
Ya, they are crazy like that.
He will just go date 3 other girls at the same time.
Ya, they are crazy like that.
Posted by Scubafish
Ignore the Gemini man!?
He will just go date 3 other girls at the same time.
Ya, they are crazy like that.
lmao i found this funny lol.
^Cosign Legendary.
Well LittleVirgo, this guy sounds like a loser but as I said before, you seem like a smart cookie so just keep your head on straight and maintain your wits about you and don't let him play you...oh and uh...keep us posted!
Well LittleVirgo, this guy sounds like a loser but as I said before, you seem like a smart cookie so just keep your head on straight and maintain your wits about you and don't let him play you...oh and uh...keep us posted!
Lose him, he is obviously a loser.
Lol, yeah well I'm just gonna wait and see for now.
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So back to where this ramble is going. I met him a month ago. We chatted randomly, but I had to start the conversation and it didn't go bad, but it was strange. He tried to control me from the get go. Which doesn't work with me. Your my equal or your nothing important to me. There is still a slight power struggle but nothing out of control. One day he tried to slam a door in my face, I slammed it back and he got the equality issue resolved. (He held the door the next time.) So after the recap here's the point.
I add him on facebook. We talk off and on, he tells his friends I'm annoying and don't shut up. (Which isn't a lie but not entirely true either). The proceeds to give me his e-mail address in case "I need him".
I talk to him on messenger, he responds. I don't know why but I told him all about my life, good and bad, and about my resolve to be better than all those who hurt me. And much, much kinder. I told him I wand to be his friends, he doesn't like friends. Tell him he can trust him, he says he doesn't trust anyone. After that he ignores me for awhile. So naturally I got mad and a friend told him to at least tell me why and he said something along the lines, of ignoring and blocking me. And how he's just the kinda guy who doesn't care. Which hurt me a lot because turns out the dick got right under my skin. I ignored him back for a week... but during that whole week of ignoring him. I was still considerate, we usually leave at the same time, I hold the door, for him. Small energy things and gestures mainly. Then one day he starts talking to me again. I'm friends with his friend and brother, therefore am at his house sometimes. That's where he tests me. I suppose.
Can someone explain whats going on with him?