Really need advice. Not sure if i should tell him this.

So my cancerian ex and I broke up 8 months ago but we were still pretty solid until he met some financial crisis in August. He got a temporary work project in a reputed company and has been extremely worked up since then.We would hardly talk but he would check up on me after 2 days or so. One day I told him I still love him and he said "surprised but okay,lets see which it goes". Now,I fell sick ~2.5 weeks ago and he would check up on me 'almost' daily but he still wasn't too involved. Each time I tried talking about feelings,emotions,relationships,us,me he freaks out bad and lashes out at me. In fact,even when i was sick and when i told him how i missed our emotional connection,he screamed "MOVE ON" and called me attention seeking.I couldn't take it anymore and i disconnected the call without saying anything. He called back twice but i didn't pick up and he texted saying "that was needless". Later he texted me apologizing and said how there's a lot going on in his life.The next day ,my health got worse i was kept in ICU for surgery. When he saw me not responding his texts/calls he reached out to my roommate and got to know about my situation from her. He was in constant touch with her daily inquiring about my health. Last week the doctors said i might not make it through the day alive.He was at work but he left his workplace,went to a secluded area and called me.I wasn't able to talk but i was conscious so i could hear. He called and was stammering.He said how i am the first and only girl he had the feeling of love for and how i am his long term investment and how i am still irreplaceable. He kept talking for straight half an hour.Talking about the beautiful times we spent when we were together.I tried whispering "stay strong" but he misheard it as me saying "i love you" so he said "i love you too". At the end of the talk he said it again before hanging up. Luckily by God's grace I got fine 4 days later and we spoke on phone properly. I am much better now. He behaves as if that phone talk where he said those sweetest words to me never happened. He's being to being emotionally shut and unavailable. He would still text me daily asking how am i doing but 3 days ago i lashed out at him because it felt like he doesn't want to take the conversation forward. I lashed out saying i am tired with the small talks.We didnt talk the next day and i called him explaining how i at times feel emotionally low due to his emotional unavailability. He got a great job offer starting from 21st Dec but it's like he's interning at A now,but he got a job at B.Now A says it's willing to pay him more than B so he is confused who to choose but at the same time neither A nor B are his dream jobs. So he said that A and B occupy his mind 24*7 and he has been off tracked from rest of the world. We didnt talk yesterday or today so far. He didn't text me asking how am i doing but maybe because he knows i am recovering well and he's too busy to think about it.
I

*I am just scared if i end up among those people who love someone so much,constantly support them throughout their career and then watch them find someone else and get left like an option. At times I feel like telling him this but i don't know if it's a very wise idea. I don't want a relationship now either because I know he's not in that right frame of mind now but I do want us to reconcile someday. I really need some insight here . Do you think this guy has any feelings for me? Does it feel he'll come around later or is he just stringing me along? THANK YOU!!

It sounds like you are important to him to a degree, however, you know he doesn't seem interested in anything right now. You should really withhold expectations here and instead think over the possible outcomes. Ask yourself if you think your time with him will be worth it if he chooses someone else or chooses not to be anything more to you again. You've already made you stance clear to him. I personally would be annoyed if you kept texting me about how you feel or even getting angry at what I text. "Needy" is what I'd call it. I would not expect a friend to care about these things, be that pushy, or get that upset over what I say. And that's all you are right now, a friend. Give him some space and understanding. It sounds like he's trying to get his life together and may be pretty stressed out. Sure, in a way, it's rude that he refuses to talk in detail about the topics you bring up, but he has also said enough, imo. And you have said enough, too. Either wait to see what actions he takes or move on from him.

Also, glad to hear you've recovered.

Posted by Scenic
It sounds like you are important to him to a degree, however, you know he doesn't seem interested in anything right now. You should really withhold expectations here and instead think over the possible outcomes. Ask yourself if you think your time with him will be worth it if he chooses someone else or chooses not to be anything more to you again. You've already made you stance clear to him. I personally would be annoyed if you kept texting me about how you feel or even getting angry at what I text. "Needy" is what I'd call it. I would not expect a friend to care about these things, be that pushy, or get that upset over what I say. And that's all you are right now, a friend. Give him some space and understanding. It sounds like he's trying to get his life together and may be pretty stressed out. Sure, in a way, it's rude that he refuses to talk in detail about the topics you bring up, but he has also said enough, imo. And you have said enough, too. Either wait to see what actions he takes or move on from him.

Also, glad to hear you've recovered.

Thank you for your response! You are absolutely right that i am important to him 'to a degree'.However,I have never really flooded him with texts or tried imposing myself on him. He apologized on calling me attention seeking and clingy and said he didn't mean it. We talk only when he texts. Yes,I call him at times (say once a week) but we have a great time connecting when we talk on phone. Also,I am not sure what relation we have now. We are not exactly just friends because he still makes sexual remarks and at the same time we are neither a couple. In fact ,the last time we spoke on phone 3 days ago,when i said he sounds tired (it was late night),he said "I'm in bed now.You should come here and I could prove it to you how energetic I can be" and I was like 'whoaa'. It kinda fumed me a li'l bit so i ended up saying "oh sure.You can connect with me when its about all this but not when its anything deeper than that". He got silent and I broke the silence with some other topic. Even when we were together, instead I was the one who always said that we should give our acads/job top most priority so I empathize and understand his current state of mind. I don't mind waiting for this guy. I am not losing out on anything. It's just that I need a reason and motivation.

Posted by narayana
This sounds so dramatic, could be a movie scene..

Dramatic is how dramatically you see and how dramatic you want it to get. Although yes,Nicholas Sparks could really profit from our story. Kinda a mix of "The NoteBook" and A Walk to Remember,maybe.

Posted by narayana
I'm an anxious optimist myself, so I'd strive to fix everything, if I was sure that I still love him.

click to expand

But sadly we can't fix it if we are unsure of what the other person feels,right?