illusion
@illusion
15 Years
Comments: 5 · Posts: 183 · Topics: 13
The Reason Why Cancer Women Are Committment Phobes
Love the description you describe my cancer girl perfectly. She has been in bad relationships and to me also had a negative view on them but still said she loves realtionships. I was always scared to hurt her and I was extremly patient she even told me she knows she has a wall up. She told me she trust me and felt safe with her she want to know how i felt but never wasnt always too direct with her feelings .The simple I miss you she would say i kinda miss you.. She seemed tough but let out a few moments that shown me she was just scared and she was the one to push for the realtionship in the begining and then adjusted she had a view that the world was against her and i wanted to show that life has up and downs but it isnt all negative. She seemed distant at times but i still opened up to her to let her know how i feel. As much as i openeded up i felt that my mentions scared her too.She seemed to sabotoge certain things that may be good not only in relationships but things like jobs etc. None the less nice description.
Posted by QLIbraMale
I approve this topic
thank you 🙂 i hope it shed light and gives courage. once we committ. we will be there for you through thick and thin. we mate for life. any man after less than that should go for a different sign.
Posted by KingofLibras
Mmm.. Well I have my eye on a crab right now.. and I want, I want! But.. But.. She seems reserved, distant somewhat, I know she's been hurt in the past and I can feel that hesitation on her part.. I know patience will draw her out but I don't wanna end up in the friendzone.
Its hard at times cause she is on my mind lately and my scorpio cusp is starting to get obsessed with her. Its like I wanna call her sweet names and cuddle with her, but breaking that ice is a matter of timing and placement. She is a mutual friend of friend and we haven't hanged together outside of that setting. So I guess time will tell, or I could be more aggressive 😛
she's not stupid. show her that you can be flirty and serious and committed. its not hard. we are easily flattered. send her a cute text half way through the day just to say you hope she is smiling. and she'll melt. we're romantics.
aggressive. but classy aggresive. think of what prince charming in 2011 would do.
Posted by deb963
Same here Illusion... Perfect.. Spoke like a true crab...🙂click to expand
glad i'm not alone deb 🙂 and fab to see ya dating a little fishie too. they mood swing more than us. i guess moods are so hard cause when they're cold it really hurts. hope he brings you true happiness!
Posted by theleoman
Love the description you describe my cancer girl perfectly. She has been in bad relationships and to me also had a negative view on them but still said she loves realtionships. I was always scared to hurt her and I was extremly patient she even told me she knows she has a wall up. She told me she trust me and felt safe with her she want to know how i felt but never wasnt always too direct with her feelings .The simple I miss you she would say i kinda miss you.. She seemed tough but let out a few moments that shown me she was just scared and she was the one to push for the realtionship in the begining and then adjusted she had a view that the world was against her and i wanted to show that life has up and downs but it isnt all negative. She seemed distant at times but i still opened up to her to let her know how i feel. As much as i openeded up i felt that my mentions scared her too.She seemed to sabotoge certain things that may be good not only in relationships but things like jobs etc. None the less nice description.
i live for love. but yes. each bad relationship does scar and we develop wounded reflexes but they can be healed 🙂 she won't be until you tell her striaght up. sometimes we get the perfect mand and we think it is too good to be true. yeh we're very moody. and we're actually teeny chickens. so we need a big lion man to protect us 😛 when love is shit, our world crashes and breaks. yeh keep up the opening up when shes distant. we like that. sometimes we get confused by our emotions lol nah not you. more we cant differential other people's from our own at times cause again... it seems to be too good to be true. that we question it. cause we are scared.
i live for love. but yes. each bad relationship does scar and we develop wounded reflexes but they can be healed 🙂 she won't be until you tell her striaght up. sometimes we get the perfect mand and we think it is too good to be true. yeh we're very moody. and we're actually teeny chickens. so we need a big lion man to protect us 😛 when love is shit, our world crashes and breaks. yeh keep up the opening up when shes distant. we like that. sometimes we get confused by our emotions lol nah not you. more we cant differential other people's from our own at times cause again... it seems to be too good to be true. that we question it. cause we are scared.
well she said we were to good to be true once but im very attention to deatil lol and i think i have to be with her.She would say no one has ever done the things that I have done for her ... she been really treated bad.
However she recently when into sheeling (thats what they call it here) and before she went into shelling she broke up with me this novemebr 2010 saying its over
in total we dated for 2 years last year her brother who was 25 years died. she played like it didnt bother her but i know it did. this year at the same time her brother died last year is when she broke up with me.
She broke up over text, saying that shes knows i tried to be there for her as much as i can, but she has alot of persoanl things to deal with and she needs to focus on her and her family. she said its not me its her and what i have been able to accomplish in the year has been motivating and inspiring but she needs time and space to think.
when it first happened it felt like it came out of no where because she always prasied the realtionship later i put two and two togther and figured it might have to do with her mourning and not wanting to talk about it. when he died she dissapperard for two months and i contacted her everyday to check up on her no repsonse but when she contacted me she said how i was the only one who tried to reach her and she appreciated it.thoughout the realtionship she said she trust me and felt safe with me.
After we broke up i kept sending her text trying to figure out why this was happening,saying i miss her and im always here for her. she responded to one of the text saying that shes not sure if she has done the right thing,she also said that it was nice to hear from me,and that she was getting all of my text ( although she didnt respond to 75% of them)
that she was getting all of my text ( although she didnt respond to 75% of them)
last text i got from her was dec 3rd. I have sent alot more text,nothing mean, just me saying im her for her and always will be.
the thing is the first time she dissappeared (last year) we were still together, this time she broke up, in general i dont want to really push someone be labled a stalker if they say its over. only reason i continued because i sent her a text saying " im sorry for bugging you with all my text"she relplied "your not bugging me aayt all,its kinda nice to hear from you"... this was days after the break up.. so this left me confused...
last text i got from her was dec 3rd. I have sent alot more text,nothing mean, just me saying im her for her and always will be.
the thing is the first time she dissappeared (last year) we were still together, this time she broke up, in general i dont want to really push someone be labled a stalker if they say its over. only reason i continued because i sent her a text saying " im sorry for bugging you with all my text"she relplied "your not bugging me aayt all,its kinda nice to hear from you"... this was days after the break up.. so this left me confused...
I wish that girl would wise the hell up, and call the police on a psychopath like you.
It's the only way you will respect her constant requests to be left the hell alone.
However, even if you are led away in handcuffs, I have this sinking feeling that you will be baaaaaaaaaack....
It's the only way you will respect her constant requests to be left the hell alone.
However, even if you are led away in handcuffs, I have this sinking feeling that you will be baaaaaaaaaack....
Posted by theleoman
my rising sign is a saggi thus i attract leos too. and i get why you are confused. leos are big on reps, pride and dignity. the fact that she broke up over text, it hurt you. i'm sorry about that. but when we are at our weak points we think that it is best to let loved ones go than to carry the burden w us, and it is hard to change that perspective. plus we become almost scared of the outside world (i'm at this stage and it is hard to go out sometimes) she wasn't lying, i sometimes get so overwhelmed by what is going on that i need to feel my emotions, and think about them. reflect so i don't destroy anymore.
that is when you need to give us space. i know you want to be there for her but youre pushing her away because your showing her the wrong type of aggression. we want a man that stands there with his arms open not constantly probing our shell 😢 by asking questions, she will get frustrated and you will lose her. and become more confused.
if you keep asking her why she broke up w you she will be hurt over the fact that you wont let her concentrate on her family situation and also the fact that you werent sentitive enough to pick on the fact that it is not you but her situation.
the key is to send sweet texts w no expectations of replies. "thinking of you. you're not alone. i'm here, always" not questions or beating around the bush to find out what happened. leave the past in the past if you want a future. and not daily. devotion means to understand and give. not suffocate. she loves you. or she would not have replied.
Posted by EmotionalMoon
Omg that is so me also, not so much now as I have finally found a man that does emotionally understand me..
He only send this to me yesterday...
I wish I was there now to hold your little heart for you and let you know how safe it is in my hands xoxoxoxoxoxo
lucky crabby 🙂 pinch on 😛 keeperrrr.
Posted by Scubafish
I wish that girl would wise the hell up, and call the police on a psychopath like you.
It's the only way you will respect her constant requests to be left the hell alone.
However, even if you are led away in handcuffs, I have this sinking feeling that you will be baaaaaaaaaack....click to expand
yeh misunderstandings 😢 that why i love fishies. but we can get so carried away w our mood swings. im in love w a little fish, but he is scared to love because of the current situation. i can understand because if he loves me more he will hurt if we have to part. but he has these mood swings because he doesnt know who he is or what he wants and his words hurt. it feels like he is ripping up the 6months of love ive given him. but i understand that he is scared. so i'm letting go and moving on like he said - but i told him, i'll always be there for him. i love this fish so much that i forgot myself. but only w a pisces do i feel safe. i want to suffer for him. but because he cant give me what i want he feels bad. i guess i'll love from a distance. maybe we'll meet in our dreams.
Posted by piranhaparadise
ahahaha lmao Scuba...everytime I see a post by leo *man* ...up you pop...haha
but I agree with you 😄
the protective kitty cared 😢 but just doesn't understand. but i think as long as intentions and natures are good, that is more than a good reason to love.
Posted by illusionPosted by piranhaparadise
ahahaha lmao Scuba...everytime I see a post by leo *man* ...up you pop...haha
but I agree with you 😄
the protective kitty cared 😢 but just doesn't understand. but i think as long as intentions and natures are good, that is more than a good reason to love.click to expand
Hey, Jason Vorhees cares about people too, don't ya know?
He's just here to trim the hedges, and stalk the ever living shit out of you as well!
Chh chh chh.... haa haa haaaaaa... chh chh chhhhh....
Posted by Scubafish
Hey, Jason Vorhees cares about people too, don't ya know?
He's just here to trim the hedges, and stalk the ever living shit out of you as well!
Chh chh chh.... haa haa haaaaaa... chh chh chhhhh....
nothing like a game of chainsaw tickles ay 😄 vraa vrooom!
Posted by piranhaparadisePosted by theleoman
that she was getting all of my text ( although she didnt respond to 75% of them)
last text i got from her was dec 3rd. I have sent alot more text,nothing mean, just me saying im her for her and always will be.
.
after a while saying the same thing over and over becomes less sincere and more to do with fulfilling YOUR needs...
click to expand
well the truth is i have slowed down i would send one text every few days , last one i sent was on christmas
Posted by illusionPosted by theleoman
the key is to send sweet texts w no expectations of replies. "thinking of you. you're not alone. i'm here, always" not questions or beating around the bush to find out what happened. leave the past in the past if you want a future. and not daily. devotion means to understand and give. not suffocate. she loves you. or she would not have replied.click to expand
well with my clear head i understand now,im sure she well understand as the break up came to me as a shock and i reacted like anyone else whould. i didnt ask to many questions about the break up, most of my text were i miss you and im here for you and we can work together through your situation. i havent said anything hurtfull to my knowledge. but i did tell her at one point that i wont text as much so she can have time and space and i lived up to it, i would text her 1-2 messages every few days.
Usually when someone breaks up thats it for me, but for the first time i was left confused as throughout realtionship she always said how good it was so it really was the last thing i expected to hear.
she knew the break up would hurt me beucase she knew i would care , and she also knew i was there for her as she stated that in the break up text.
i have sent my text with no expectations of a reply as i started to realise that how it goes. you know truthfully if there was and out side sitistuaio like the brothers death and it was direcly our realtionship i wouldnt have looked back but how to you walk away from someone who may be hurting from something like that
Posted by theleoman
yeh, but cancer's we're not just looking for anyone else. it is good to see that you kept the communication up. and yes she knows she hurt you cause she broke up w you in the way that would hurt you the most so keep you away from her - thus you won't share her emotional burden. i know it is a different way of looking at saving you, but sometimes we have to hurt you badly so you stay away - but deep down, it is because we care, not because we hate you.
sometimes, the best thing to do is to do nothing at all. yeh? let it go. just remember how much she cared. if you are meant to be in the future, you will meet again.
Posted by illusionPosted by theleoman
yeh, but cancer's we're not just looking for anyone else. it is good to see that you kept the communication up. and yes she knows she hurt you cause she broke up w you in the way that would hurt you the most so keep you away from her - thus you won't share her emotional burdenclick to expand
i felt like she was breaking up with me so she can deal with her problems although i said i will be there for her regardless.
Posted by theleomanPosted by illusionPosted by theleoman
yeh, but cancer's we're not just looking for anyone else. it is good to see that you kept the communication up. and yes she knows she hurt you cause she broke up w you in the way that would hurt you the most so keep you away from her - thus you won't share her emotional burden
i felt like she was breaking up with me so she can deal with her problems although i said i will be there for her regardless.click to expand
as i said before it was, but also to protect you. we have aweird way o fthinking. and its pretty much impossible to change cause we are so bewildered by our emotions
Posted by illusionPosted by theleomanPosted by illusionPosted by theleoman
yeh, but cancer's we're not just looking for anyone else. it is good to see that you kept the communication up. and yes she knows she hurt you cause she broke up w you in the way that would hurt you the most so keep you away from her - thus you won't share her emotional burden
i felt like she was breaking up with me so she can deal with her problems although i said i will be there for her regardless.
as i said before it was, but also to protect you. we have aweird way o fthinking. and its pretty much impossible to change cause we are so bewildered by our emotionsclick to expand
well what does make me happy is that she knew i tried to be there for her as much as i can.i knew things were rough i would call her and she would text me to say "tonights not a good night to talk im too emotional", it made me feel really bad.
Posted by Noosiekins
I have to say...for the first time in the relationship.... I am ok with not receiving text from him all evening...and am even better that I don't feel the need to text him at all 🙂
I seriously think i'm finally getting it 🙂
See to me when you in a relationship theres gonna be a time where you want to feel you have complete access to the person you give your heart to, if your not having a good day and you want to talk and they dont respond to you it can be hurtful.
I just want to thank illusion for this thread good insight!
i'm sorry but you cancer lovers need to stop highjacking threads. how many do you need, already?
Posted by theleomanwell what does make me happy is that she knew i tried to be there for her as much as i can.i knew things were rough i would call her and she would text me to say "tonights not a good night to talk im too emotional", it made me feel really bad.
aww, that is kinda cute to feel that way, but what she meant was - i'm emotionally volatile i don't want to hurt you during one of my swings. yeh 🙂 ? overall, i'm not against the cancer and leo buzz at all. but the leo or cancer's venus must be compatible or the role of the protector will be misunderstood and feelings hurt!
and about the hidden emotions. the best i can do for you is tell you about the sun and the moon. leo is the sun. cancer the moon. leo is always bright and open and he shines on the moon and we become bright ... but shadows never leave us. we aren't closing off. we're just secretive. if you changed that about her you'd be dating a leo lol. also, it is cool cause it keeps ya guessing!!
Posted by Noosiekins
leoman... you need to slow it right out... you're at one every few days... starting today please move to once this week. then wait for 2 weeks go go by before you send the next...
it'll be good for you...and i think it'll be good for her too.click to expand
noosie has a point. but dear leo, ive said that each cancer is different but normally a week or so with none and i'm missing my man. leos are big on romance. don't kinda keep it to one line texts. write poetry. tell us how you feel by painting us a picture. that is what we love. it reminds us of the good times and we kinda stop being emo for a few minutes lol
and congrats noosiekins. have a few cancer friends. tbh, because the cancer females get hurt so much we kind become cold. cancer males dont get themselves into as many messes cause of the fact that normally males are aggressive. so on average i find cancer males more sensitive and tend to retreat to their homes to cook and waddle a bit 🙂 x
Posted by KingofLibras
Technically you could just dominate a crab, but bossing them around is no easy task. Unlike pisces, these fuckers are actually intelligent and sarcastic 😄
dominate. hah. well the thing is, i let mn dominate me because i care. you break my heart, and i leave - the hollowness you took for granted will eat you alive. pisces are the same, when they need, they're sharks.
that is the power of water. we don't resist or show off. we're tranquil and patient. we seep into you, fill you with our presence. and if we leave, all you will feel is drought.
Posted by Noosiekins
LOL that's funny cuz... my crab said that he doesn't like it when i talk to my friends about "our" problems... next time i see him i'm going to bring that up lol...that if i want to talk about "our" problems..he need to be there for me to talk to....
ahh thanks for reminding me 🙂click to expand
again privacy. what is ours remains ours. or it will no longer just be our world. but just a world. i can have that with anyone. you destroy the privacy and you destroy the magic.
Posted by theleoman
I just want to thank illusion for this thread good insight!
you are welcome. i just dont want men to give up. cancer women are catches. it's just we've been so used and abused that we become rocks. 😢 and it is ew cause we like being feminie. and wifey.
Posted by shellshocker
i'm sorry but you cancer lovers need to stop highjacking threads. how many do you need, already?
lol suppose that goes ot show just how many lovers cancers confuse OMG
Posted by wineaux
haven't heard from any of the other cancers out there if their feelings are mutual to illusion's...male or female? they're quite poetic and captivating.click to expand
thank you 😄 i'm a huge romantic 😛 yeh would be good to know how others view it too! x
A Cancer loves with one foot in the present and one in the past. All water signs understand the duality of love... it will engulf you and allow you to lick the sky with it's soaring flames, then turn around to consume you. Slowly burn you from within and drag you into the pits of despair.
A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines. A Cancer lover must take the strong with the weak. Even though we will forgive you when you hurt us, those scars will never heal and will become a visible reminder in the vividness of our memories... never to be forgotten. Our lovers will have to compete with the ghosts of our past.
Can anyone handle the extremes of our emotions? It almost seems impossible but a flicker of hope can send us off on that wild chase to reach the ultimate goal.
THAT kind of love...
A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines. A Cancer lover must take the strong with the weak. Even though we will forgive you when you hurt us, those scars will never heal and will become a visible reminder in the vividness of our memories... never to be forgotten. Our lovers will have to compete with the ghosts of our past.
Can anyone handle the extremes of our emotions? It almost seems impossible but a flicker of hope can send us off on that wild chase to reach the ultimate goal.
THAT kind of love...
Posted by illusionPosted by theleomanwell what does make me happy is that she knew i tried to be there for her as much as i can.i knew things were rough i would call her and she would text me to say "tonights not a good night to talk im too emotional", it made me feel really bad.click to expand
i have nothing against cancers or any sign , i have wrote my poetry and loved from my heart and im content, however love and realtionships take two and i need to feel the love for me to continue to love more. but not getting a response to soemthing like i miss you and i love you can be hurtful. LEos can take allot of emotional abuse espically when they think someone doesnt direclty mean it or there in a place where they cannot feel love.
You have provided me with some good insight and knowlegde and i understand that her breaking up with me was a her way of protecting me for the pain she is going through.I commend her for that.
While i can fight a battle and take all the shots and stand infront of danger while in a realtionship as strong as i am and cant do it without my partner.
Cancer women are the LEAST likeliest of all zodiac women to commitment phobes!
Posted by shellshocker
A Cancer loves with one foot in the present and one in the past. All water signs understand the duality of love... it will engulf you and allow you to lick the sky with it's soaring flames, then turn around to consume you. Slowly burn you from within and drag you into the pits of despair.
A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines. A Cancer lover must take the strong with the weak. Even though we will forgive you when you hurt us, those scars will never heal and will become a visible reminder in the vividness of our memories... never to be forgotten. Our lovers will have to compete with the ghosts of our past.
Can anyone handle the extremes of our emotions? It almost seems impossible but a flicker of hope can send us off on that wild chase to reach the ultimate goal.
THAT kind of love...
I did feel the part of competing with ghost from the past , or at least i knew about them
Is he "Just Not Into Me" or is he a Commitment Phobic?
HOW TO SPOT A COMMITMENT PHOBIC BEFORE HE BREAKS YOUR HEART!
Due to negative experiences and beliefs (or sometimes a personality disorder), both sexes can suffer from commitment phobia, but more and more men seem to be suffering from this problem (or challenge).
Let's look at some typical behaviours commitment phobic men display in relationships.
Commitment phobic men are tortured souls full of FEAR. They are in a constant state of emotional conflict because of their negative irrational beliefs about love, commitment and relationships. In relationships they create great confusion, havoc, pain, and anguish as their behaviours are often insensitive, unpredictable and bizarre.
These types of men can make women who are saints turn into mad women, as they play games with their minds and their hearts.
1. They usually have a history of short relationships and they may never have been married - there is often an excuse that they haven't met the right woman, or they justify their history by saying they still have plenty of time to settle down as they can have children at any age. A favourite line is "someday".
2. If they have been married it is likely to have been for a short time, or, if they have been in a long term relationship or marriage, they will usually have a history of infidelity.
3. They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent women.
4. They are fast to move in on a woman they are attracted to, and they pursue ardently until they win the woman over.
5. They are very charming. They say and do all the right things and they can be very romantic. They are very good salesmen to get their own needs met, but in reality they have very little concern for the woman??s feelings, as they are always operating from hidden agendas.
HOW TO SPOT A COMMITMENT PHOBIC BEFORE HE BREAKS YOUR HEART!
Due to negative experiences and beliefs (or sometimes a personality disorder), both sexes can suffer from commitment phobia, but more and more men seem to be suffering from this problem (or challenge).
Let's look at some typical behaviours commitment phobic men display in relationships.
Commitment phobic men are tortured souls full of FEAR. They are in a constant state of emotional conflict because of their negative irrational beliefs about love, commitment and relationships. In relationships they create great confusion, havoc, pain, and anguish as their behaviours are often insensitive, unpredictable and bizarre.
These types of men can make women who are saints turn into mad women, as they play games with their minds and their hearts.
1. They usually have a history of short relationships and they may never have been married - there is often an excuse that they haven't met the right woman, or they justify their history by saying they still have plenty of time to settle down as they can have children at any age. A favourite line is "someday".
2. If they have been married it is likely to have been for a short time, or, if they have been in a long term relationship or marriage, they will usually have a history of infidelity.
3. They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent women.
4. They are fast to move in on a woman they are attracted to, and they pursue ardently until they win the woman over.
5. They are very charming. They say and do all the right things and they can be very romantic. They are very good salesmen to get their own needs met, but in reality they have very little concern for the woman??s feelings, as they are always operating from hidden agendas.
6. These men are usually very affectionate and loving. This is because in their mind the relationship is not going to be long term, so they feel free to give affection and love, knowing it won't be forever. It isn't long though before they suddenly start rejecting the woman, by not ringing or not wanting to see her for days, or not including her in weekend arrangements etc. This is because they subtly want to give the woman the message that they don't want a long term committed relationship.
7. Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can't make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can't commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the woman when they don't see her, but they want to run away when they become involved again.
8. Commitment phobics love the chase but they don't want the kill. This may happen after 1 night, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months or 1 year. They may start sabotaging just as they are about to get married, or just before or after there's a decision made to move in together.
9. They spin stories to justify their contradictory behaviour, and when the woman threatens to leave the relationship they may make promises to change, but they never do.
10. They tend to treat the woman like a mistress rather than a real girlfriend.
11. They tend to limit the amount of time they spend with the women and treat her as a low priority.
13. Commitment phobics behaviours announce subtly??_—You will be special for a short time, but it won't be forever??.
7. Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can't make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can't commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the woman when they don't see her, but they want to run away when they become involved again.
8. Commitment phobics love the chase but they don't want the kill. This may happen after 1 night, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months or 1 year. They may start sabotaging just as they are about to get married, or just before or after there's a decision made to move in together.
9. They spin stories to justify their contradictory behaviour, and when the woman threatens to leave the relationship they may make promises to change, but they never do.
10. They tend to treat the woman like a mistress rather than a real girlfriend.
11. They tend to limit the amount of time they spend with the women and treat her as a low priority.
13. Commitment phobics behaviours announce subtly??_—You will be special for a short time, but it won't be forever??.
I had to reseach the term and i found some stuff not sure if these is was the poster means
but there is more here: http://www.simplysolo.com/relationships/how_to_spot_a_commitment_phobic.html
but there is more here: http://www.simplysolo.com/relationships/how_to_spot_a_commitment_phobic.html
Posted by theleoman
psyc is cool but not a rule book. cancers live on frameworks. thus there is flexibility in any reasoning. sometimes, somethings are best left undefined. just accept the general big picture 🙂
and there never was a competition. you thought there was. her emotional reflexes may have changed yes, but that is between herself and herself. if you think of a relationship as a threeway - well gyess what you will get .. yeh?
and i get that leos are very affectionate and doting, but you love with a love that sets our blood on fire. with burning desire and love and we like that. but such strong love can overwhelm us, so we get confused and dont know how to react and we end up thinking that not doing something is better than doing something and hurting the ones we love. yeh?
Posted by Avalan32
Cancer women are the LEAST likeliest of all zodiac women to commitment phobes!click to expand
only if they are relationship virgins or with the right person 🙂
Posted by shellshocker
A Cancer loves with one foot in the present and one in the past. All water signs understand the duality of love... it will engulf you and allow you to lick the sky with it's soaring flames, then turn around to consume you. Slowly burn you from within and drag you into the pits of despair.
A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines. A Cancer lover must take the strong with the weak. Even though we will forgive you when you hurt us, those scars will never heal and will become a visible reminder in the vividness of our memories... never to be forgotten. Our lovers will have to compete with the ghosts of our past.
Can anyone handle the extremes of our emotions? It almost seems impossible but a flicker of hope can send us off on that wild chase to reach the ultimate goal.
THAT kind of love...
i love how you write. it is beautiful. and i agree. in any relationship - i constantly comapre every little memory of past bad ones to nmakes sure im doing something better - i think we also tend to dream about the future home 😛 if i cant see a man when i try to dream it up. there is something wrong.
tbh, i dont think cancer women are bad a finding their soulmates it is just newbie cancers tend to mix up the need to care for a "project" and true love. it is cool to be needed. because then you know they wont abandon you ... but that isn;t love. that is called being a nurse.
i don't really hold on to the past. more - keep them there to remember and look back on. but yes. i lose myself in current relationships and kinda get on this frenzy of mothering my man. lol
i dont think it is about can anyone handle my emotions. i have learned that it is hard. but more, will there be someone understanding enough to make me want to be aware and express it verbally before i swing lol.
but thank you for that! xx
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
I thought once we were done with one person, we were supposed to get rid of all of the emotional baggage we were carrying up to that point, thats the only way of making a whole new start, with maybe a whole new person 🙂
in theory yes. but our past affects our current relfexes and perceptions. and we learn about new needs and fears. the past is the current as w each relationship a part of another becomes a part of us. but that doesnt mean that we are treating the current person as the person in our past.
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
The past should hold very little value to us when it comes to our present love life. A past relationship only tells us what kind of person YOU WERE back when you were with that person, so to drag that old you into the present will only cause more suffering. It's like, yeah I got robbed while walking through a certain street once..does that mean I should never walk through that precise street again ANYMORE?? or even be fearful of walking alone on street altogether?
I think you know the answer to those questions.
it shapes us into who we are today. doesnt mean you are treating the person as if they are someone in teh past because you learn. youd walk down the street again, but with pepper spray.
theories are great, but realistically, when you go into a relationship you have set needs you want fulfilled, these change w each relationship and we learn about ourselves. yeh you left who you were, but who you are now is a result of the past. time is continuous. each minute is not mutually exclusive of the other. everything has cause and effect. thus the past is in teh present as the present is here because of the past. that doesn't mean that the past choses the path of the present.
My moon is in Cancer & I must say, I actually completely agree with the original post. Very true. I can tell when the Cancer influence in me is coming out. My Venus is in Capricorn though, but still, when I read about Cancers, it seems that most of those descriptions fit how I view love/relationships. I'm supposed to love like a Capricorn...I don't see it lol
Posted by krysrenee7
My moon is in Cancer & I must say, I actually completely agree with the original post. Very true. I can tell when the Cancer influence in me is coming out. My Venus is in Capricorn though, but still, when I read about Cancers, it seems that most of those descriptions fit how I view love/relationships. I'm supposed to love like a Capricorn...I don't see it lol
cappies are the opposite of the cancer - thus apart from the emotional/practical view of love both love to have a home.
thus your emotions (AKA MOON) woudl shine through more - esp if you are a female 😛
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboomPosted by illusionPosted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
The past should hold very little value to us when it comes to our present love life. A past relationship only tells us what kind of person YOU WERE back when you were with that person, so to drag that old you into the present will only cause more suffering. It's like, yeah I got robbed while walking through a certain street once..does that mean I should never walk through that precise street again ANYMORE?? or even be fearful of walking alone on street altogether?
I think you know the answer to those questions.
it shapes us into who we are today. doesnt mean you are treating the person as if they are someone in teh past because you learn. youd walk down the street again, but with pepper spray.
theories are great, but realistically, when you go into a relationship you have set needs you want fulfilled, these change w each relationship and we learn about ourselves. yeh you left who you were, but who you are now is a result of the past. time is continuous. each minute is not mutually exclusive of the other. everything has cause and effect. thus the past is in teh present as the present is here because of the past. that doesn't mean that the past choses the path of the present.
Its simple, your philosophy is to "protect" your feelings at all costs cause "god forbid someone else might break my heart again"
My philosophy is, hearts get broken, life goes on, plenty of fish, so why shouldnt I move along with it and live my life according to these truths? doing anything else would be resisiting to the futile.click to expand
easier said than done. accept as part of one self and then move on. nupe. im cautious but it depends on the person. and i highly doubt that you jump head first into love.
Posted by Claire
Shaka, I completely agree.
Shellshocker, what you said was beautiful, I like this part:
'A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines.'
The only thing is that once she's fully commited to herself first there shouldn't have to be a struggle at all.
The same goes for moving on from the past. Past experiences do shape the people we are today, that's fine, but we shouldn't really be promising the world to someone unless we've moved on from our past relationships and got any issues we had about it out of our system.
New experiences can help us move on and learn new things so we need these, sure, but we should always remember that our own issues are our own responsibilities an it's also our responsibility to prevent a potentiel lover/ boyfriend from the having to carry the burden of our issues if we have any.
Love and courting is about fun and friendship to me and others should never be 'expected' to sign up to anything more.
well put.agreed. i dont bring past baggage emotions, nor do i try to predic the future, but as we become more aware of where we are sensitive, the awareness alone alters the flow of perception
Posted by Claire
The idea is to take as long as it takes to get over a past love or something that may have happened in the past. Take 1, 2 years or more if you need it. It might be tough and it might be lonely at times but you'll get used to it and it will be much better in the long run. You learn more about youself and become a stronger person when you're on your own therefore you will prob be happier in future relationships if you've had that time out.
you're right on the fact that we need time to reflect. i suppose i never talk long enough? but i'll learn 🙂 thank you for the insight. i appreciate it! x
Posted by Claire
The idea is to take as long as it takes to get over a past love or something that may have happened in the past. Take 1, 2 years or more if you need it. It might be tough and it might be lonely at times but you'll get used to it and it will be much better in the long run. You learn more about youself and become a stronger person when you're on your own therefore you will prob be happier in future relationships if you've had that time out.
Claire is absolutely right.
I am currently reading a book about human addiction, in that it is sometimes easy for us to become addicted to another human being after spending many years with the person.
Attachment Hunger is a phrase used to describe a specific condition within a person constantly yearning for affection and relationships. A person who suffers from this disorder is essentially unable to stand alone as an individual, and must constantly be in a relationship in order to feel whole.
The sad reality is that this destructive behavior not only damages relationships with this person, but the behavior is EXTREMELY destructive to the individual him/herself.
Key thing to remember here is precisely as Claire said. Ensure that you have time alone after a long relationsship comes to a crashing end.
Yeah, you can go out with your friends and even casually date. But for the sake of all that is good, DO NOT JUMP INTO A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP.
Rebound relationships are destructive to everyone involved. The dumper, the dumpee, the rebound boy/girl, the parents, everyone!!!!
Just heal your broken heart, and stick to the rule of 1:1 if necessary.
IE, if you were with the person for 4 years, then take 3-4 years off if necessary.
Posted by ClairePosted by illusionPosted by Claire
Shaka, I completely agree.
Shellshocker, what you said was beautiful, I like this part:
'A Cancer woman must always struggle to not loose herself in love. She must commit to herself first in order to display her true beauty, which is found in her strength. This is when she truly shines.'
The only thing is that once she's fully commited to herself first there shouldn't have to be a struggle at all.
The same goes for moving on from the past. Past experiences do shape the people we are today, that's fine, but we shouldn't really be promising the world to someone unless we've moved on from our past relationships and got any issues we had about it out of our system.
New experiences can help us move on and learn new things so we need these, sure, but we should always remember that our own issues are our own responsibilities an it's also our responsibility to prevent a potentiel lover/ boyfriend from the having to carry the burden of our issues if we have any.
Love and courting is about fun and friendship to me and others should never be 'expected' to sign up to anything more.
well put.agreed. i dont bring past baggage emotions, nor do i try to predic the future, but as we become more aware of where we are sensitive, the awareness alone alters the flow of perception
Yes, and this awareness comes from spending time alone. Self awareness and respect for others build up, hence maturity and strength.click to expand
thanks guys 🙂 this is so true!
Posted by treefroggerPosted by Scubafish
Snap!!!!!
and Snap snap kisses for Treefrogger!!!!!
awww...
snap snap kisses for scubafish!!!click to expand
One fish is saying, "Nuh uuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!!"
And the other is saying.... "Okay!!!!"
Ah, the fun of being two different personalities swimming in opposite directions while simultanesouly tied together at the tail!
Snaaaaap!!!!!!
Bumpz
I Would comment but you hid the post AFTER people commented on it. Why didn't you just delete it? Lame.
It's not the commitment I fear, I just don't want to be with the wrong guy.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Is it common to find cancer girls with married men? My cancer friend candy was dating & having sex with a married man
so me and this cancer girl were dating for about a year. Things were perfect. We took our time and built a mature solid
I keep attracting Virgo guys why is that my dad is a virgo also is that irrelevant?
Do you find this to be pretty accurate? http://zodiac-traits.com/capricorn-man-cancer-woman.html
BASED on what you've seen? for me....its CANCER women..and im not talkin about the women on here, im talking about fr
She is my ex gal Cancer rising sign sag, been 6 years since we broke up her ening because of family obligation. anyway w
Cancer here :) Moon in Aqua, Rising in Sag, Venus in Cancer. Guy: Capricorn Moon in Cancer, Rising in Aries, Venu
Can a Cancer female be in love with more than one person? I'm not talking platonic love, but more romantic/emotional lov
I have a best friend cancer female zodiac and pursue her to be my business partner, but she answered that's not her fiel
I'm a cancer woman. I was recently talking to a aqua man. Should have known that was bad news being as though my ex was
How do you act when you're interested in someone? Just curious, since I really like this cancer girl..
I just hooked up with the most beautiful cancer woman on earth, and I was born in July. So what do you guys make of tha
I dont know about you guys, but sometimes i find myself flirting with guys right after ending a relationship... i guess
nutty..for real.. ya'll hang on to anything that was negative in your past like your life depends on it for survival.
AWKWARD I don't get it really, all the Cancer women I talk to on the phone always seem to be so... odd. It's like
I've seen this Cancer girl at my local Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, I came by and helped her with computer problems. I
Hello all. I am new to this site and I am a cancer female. I've been with my capricorn for a year now. When we first
ROCK! You know we do! I am so tired of people dissing us... Its *BS* When someone is stuck in the middle of nowhere o
Hi all...I am a 22year old cancer female Last night I instant messaged and ex-scorpio boyfriend on facebook. It had bee
What signs have you been most compatible with? Me. Scorpio Scorpio Cancer Capricorn though it ended a disaster cou
then i learn to use my shell. and they wall up my heart. and i flirt and dont commit because i am afriad of getting hurt - not because i want to be that way, but because i have been let down so often. but once in a blue moon, there are those who i feel safe with, either intuitively or they have been by myside long enough to show me they aren't just using me for their own emotional security i gladly take of my armor and wrap my heart around theirs.
but truth is. we're scared. cause when it hurts, it's as if all the flower have perished into grey dust, as if my heart has been picked apart by a toothpick, as if the tears i cry are no longer water, nor blood but drops of hope and soul. this is why we're scared.
so if you love her, you need to understand her. be there for her. and you need patience. if you show us youre here for good, if you show us you are strong enough to hold our hearts, we can give you the world. oh and fan feeking tastic sex.