nakae
@nakae
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 51 · Topics: 7
Ugh..new concern about Cancer gf.
Cheated. Straight up. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Nakae, I am your father. Wait where was I? Oh ya.
What kind of BS story was that. "Check on a friend"... right, ya sure. Guilty looks, no reassuring. She's no good man, move on. This recent no contact with her will only make things easier to go through with it.
If you don't do it, she's going to keep doing things behind your back because she knows she can get away with it, then lie to your face about it. There's better girls out there who won't go f'ing around with their ex's, trust me. Also, did she ever tell you she kept in touch with her ex? Big red flags there.
What kind of BS story was that. "Check on a friend"... right, ya sure. Guilty looks, no reassuring. She's no good man, move on. This recent no contact with her will only make things easier to go through with it.
If you don't do it, she's going to keep doing things behind your back because she knows she can get away with it, then lie to your face about it. There's better girls out there who won't go f'ing around with their ex's, trust me. Also, did she ever tell you she kept in touch with her ex? Big red flags there.
Just read your other post. If it wasn't cheating, it was the money thing. Either way, no good.
Ya, it was probably a sex.
Dude, I know it hurts, but she probably couldn't let go of her ex boyfriend, which is why she probably called him over there.
What Decan of Cancer is she?
Dude, I know it hurts, but she probably couldn't let go of her ex boyfriend, which is why she probably called him over there.
What Decan of Cancer is she?
i think there are other things to consider before you jump to the assumption that she is cheating...
when she mentioned the money thing with her ex, your reaction was severe and concrete. you were dead set against it. This does not mean you changed her mind in any way... you just taught her that to avoid confrontation, she best not bring this subject up with you again. Most Cancers are going to do what they're going to do regardless how you feel about it.
the ex will probably always be in her life if she once cared about him... it's a crab thing. This doesn't mean that she is not emotionally detached from him. She is with you and probably only wants you.
i bet her phone has gone 'missing' because she is tired of talking to people. Especially if people are constantly calling or texting her trying to make plans and find out what she's doing. does this sound familiar?
Cancers can be very sneaky, if she didn't want you to know she was communicating with her ex, she could have hidden it very, very well. Perhaps she didn't tell you he had been in contact with her... because she knew what your reaction would be and honestly you don't own her, so it's really non of your business. If your insecure about it... well that's your problem.
she may not have spent too much time reassuring you that there was nothing going on either because if you don't trust her, once again... that's on you.
just my thoughts...
when she mentioned the money thing with her ex, your reaction was severe and concrete. you were dead set against it. This does not mean you changed her mind in any way... you just taught her that to avoid confrontation, she best not bring this subject up with you again. Most Cancers are going to do what they're going to do regardless how you feel about it.
the ex will probably always be in her life if she once cared about him... it's a crab thing. This doesn't mean that she is not emotionally detached from him. She is with you and probably only wants you.
i bet her phone has gone 'missing' because she is tired of talking to people. Especially if people are constantly calling or texting her trying to make plans and find out what she's doing. does this sound familiar?
Cancers can be very sneaky, if she didn't want you to know she was communicating with her ex, she could have hidden it very, very well. Perhaps she didn't tell you he had been in contact with her... because she knew what your reaction would be and honestly you don't own her, so it's really non of your business. If your insecure about it... well that's your problem.
she may not have spent too much time reassuring you that there was nothing going on either because if you don't trust her, once again... that's on you.
just my thoughts...
Posted by THEKingofLibra
Cancers are vile disgusting pieces of shit that will lie and stab you in the back. They should be stabbed at will whenever spotted.
how would you know if they're a Cancer? oh I know!... maybe they should be stamped or tattooed so they could be easily identified
Something went on and I think you should find out what> I'm cancer too, but she's so different from me. I don't talk to any of my exs because I don't see the point. It will jsut screw things up with my current relationship. Adn sometimes if one of my PSYCHO ex's calls me from another number after I already blocked their old one and makes new email accounts(some of my exs are literally crazy) I tell my bf all of this since I feel he has a right to know whats going on and I tell him that I blocked their new numbers/accounts. She should stop hanging around her ex, he already tried to get her to do illegal stuff before. Hes not a good guy, you should tell her how you feel about her being around him. Also try to get the truth out of her about what happened when he "randomly showed up" at her aprtment
She may not be cheating though but jsut find out what happened and get more details before you jump to conclusions
Thanks for all the feedback. I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, but I was completely aware that they had communicated. That wasn't my issue at all. I understand that some exes are worth keeping as friends, I myself am friends with one of mine. My problem with this whole dilemma is that in my eyes, this is relationship 101. You don't have your exes at your house in freezing weather just to see how their doing unannounced. The fact that, she'd hid that he'd been there before is another issue.
I get what shellshocker is saying that if she knew previously about my dislike of him she would hide it. And I'm sure that's exactly what it was. If this guy was such a stand up kind of guy I wouldn't be so apprehensive. Truth of the matter is she obviously values this friendship and it's one sided. When she needed help to move he was no where to be found and she was ringing off his phone up and down. And then all of a sudden he has no problem coming to her house unexpectedly??
I'm not questioning whether she's cheating or being unfaithful at all, I know she wouldn't. I just don't get why instead of understanding that she has to draw the line in the sand so to speak with him, she defends his behavior??
I'm positive that he has ill intentions either dips on her, or getting involved in illegal butter. She's either too naive to see it or likes the attention. Either of which I'm not comfortable with.
Honestly, to me an easy fix, tell him it's inappropriate to just show up unannounced. I never asked her to cut him out of her life or stop talking to him or contacting him. But the whole thing is very unsettling when all it took was an apology -which I received, followed by action -which she won't.
I get what shellshocker is saying that if she knew previously about my dislike of him she would hide it. And I'm sure that's exactly what it was. If this guy was such a stand up kind of guy I wouldn't be so apprehensive. Truth of the matter is she obviously values this friendship and it's one sided. When she needed help to move he was no where to be found and she was ringing off his phone up and down. And then all of a sudden he has no problem coming to her house unexpectedly??
I'm not questioning whether she's cheating or being unfaithful at all, I know she wouldn't. I just don't get why instead of understanding that she has to draw the line in the sand so to speak with him, she defends his behavior??
I'm positive that he has ill intentions either dips on her, or getting involved in illegal butter. She's either too naive to see it or likes the attention. Either of which I'm not comfortable with.
Honestly, to me an easy fix, tell him it's inappropriate to just show up unannounced. I never asked her to cut him out of her life or stop talking to him or contacting him. But the whole thing is very unsettling when all it took was an apology -which I received, followed by action -which she won't.
Posted by nakae
She's either too naive to see it or likes the attention.
it's probably both...
Posted by nakae
Honestly, to me an easy fix, tell him it's inappropriate to just show up unannounced. I never asked her to cut him out of her life or stop talking to him or contacting him. But the whole thing is very unsettling when all it took was an apology -which I received, followed by action -which she won't.
click to expand
tell her this, gently yet firmly...
Well, all of it means nothing know. She broke up with me. Used multiple excuses, first it was we fought too much, and I didn't see it getting better. Then it was you cheated on me (I did and have taken complete responsibility for it but it happened the first month we were together. I don't even think we were exclusive!) throws it in my face, although I mentioned several times that tell me whatever you need me to do to make this better. I even said at the time that I completely understand if she choose not to be with me any longer. She tells me today, well I'm not over it and I thought I could be a stronger person.
Then she blows up my phone, telling me she's coming over to collect her belongings I tell her she doesn't have to that i'll pack it up and send it in a cab. She then storms through my house, gathering all her things without saying a word. Then says, if you weren't on the phone you'd know that I didnt' want things to end this way since I left you a bbm. I was like okay, read the msg. NOWHERE does it say she's sorry that she broke up with me on a whim and she was upset nothing. I tell her this and she says what do you want from me. I told her, as Shellshocker suggested, that this was all an easy fix and that yes I was upset, but never did I threaten to end things are that I didn't love you. (Even went to her house yesterday to take her dog out as she was sick, brought her soup and some flu stuff ALL while I was still upset about the event) Nothing. She proceeds to yell and say it doesn't matter I'm gone, I'm gone. Now I got angry as she was at the door leaving and picked her bag up and tossed it on my stairs and said to go, you want to leave so bad, then get out. She turns around and bitch slaps me across the face and storms out. WTF!! I'm beginning to understand what KingofLibra is talking about in regards to manipulation.
Not an hour later, she's blowing up my phone again to apologize and that it's out of character for her blah blah and you still have some things here, and I don't have a need for them if we're not together.
She bbms my sister to tell her she's sorry for getting her involved and that to let me know that she's going to call me today, no drama.
I'm like this girl is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I don't get it, you break up with me, slap me and then want to talk no drama??
She calls I answer, she makes no mention of my belongings and goes right into well I want to come see you so we can talk. And I'm like what
Then she blows up my phone, telling me she's coming over to collect her belongings I tell her she doesn't have to that i'll pack it up and send it in a cab. She then storms through my house, gathering all her things without saying a word. Then says, if you weren't on the phone you'd know that I didnt' want things to end this way since I left you a bbm. I was like okay, read the msg. NOWHERE does it say she's sorry that she broke up with me on a whim and she was upset nothing. I tell her this and she says what do you want from me. I told her, as Shellshocker suggested, that this was all an easy fix and that yes I was upset, but never did I threaten to end things are that I didn't love you. (Even went to her house yesterday to take her dog out as she was sick, brought her soup and some flu stuff ALL while I was still upset about the event) Nothing. She proceeds to yell and say it doesn't matter I'm gone, I'm gone. Now I got angry as she was at the door leaving and picked her bag up and tossed it on my stairs and said to go, you want to leave so bad, then get out. She turns around and bitch slaps me across the face and storms out. WTF!! I'm beginning to understand what KingofLibra is talking about in regards to manipulation.
Not an hour later, she's blowing up my phone again to apologize and that it's out of character for her blah blah and you still have some things here, and I don't have a need for them if we're not together.
She bbms my sister to tell her she's sorry for getting her involved and that to let me know that she's going to call me today, no drama.
I'm like this girl is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I don't get it, you break up with me, slap me and then want to talk no drama??
She calls I answer, she makes no mention of my belongings and goes right into well I want to come see you so we can talk. And I'm like what
And I'm like what's there to talk about? She says I want to apologize and I said well I don't see why you need to come over for that, you can tell me now. She does, then just like that we're arguing again. No idea how, she's throwing everything back in my face and then saying how we don't have discussions we purge everything and how I can't do this anymore. I ask her point blank if we argue so much when was the last time we argued before this thing with your ex. She can't even recall and says well I don't keep track of it.
I tell her that I'm not arguing with her but I feel she's looking for any excuse to end things and that I'm not stopping her. But that she's called me, she's come over and then called me again. And that I'm getting mixed signals. If it's over why do you need to come here to talk.
Phone conversation doesn't end well, I tell her that I love her and that I never wanted things to turn out like this, and hang up. WTF??
I'm I going crazy or do you all agree that there's so much more to this than what she's letting on? My gut tells me the ex propositioned her to some illegal stuff again and that's why he was there, and she knew that I wouldn't condone it so easier to end things and do whatever she's gonna do than to have me interfere. Cause really, none of it makes any sense at all that she would break up over me being rightfully upset over an ex popping up unannounced.
Either that or she got really cold fee as it's Valentines day and I was planning on proposing. She knew because I called her mom to ask her blessing which she did. I figure she called her mom to vent and her mom told her. No idea. But funny how, in 4 days you can go from proposing to break up!
I tell her that I'm not arguing with her but I feel she's looking for any excuse to end things and that I'm not stopping her. But that she's called me, she's come over and then called me again. And that I'm getting mixed signals. If it's over why do you need to come here to talk.
Phone conversation doesn't end well, I tell her that I love her and that I never wanted things to turn out like this, and hang up. WTF??
I'm I going crazy or do you all agree that there's so much more to this than what she's letting on? My gut tells me the ex propositioned her to some illegal stuff again and that's why he was there, and she knew that I wouldn't condone it so easier to end things and do whatever she's gonna do than to have me interfere. Cause really, none of it makes any sense at all that she would break up over me being rightfully upset over an ex popping up unannounced.
Either that or she got really cold fee as it's Valentines day and I was planning on proposing. She knew because I called her mom to ask her blessing which she did. I figure she called her mom to vent and her mom told her. No idea. But funny how, in 4 days you can go from proposing to break up!
wow "theKIngofLIbra" sounds like you have had bad experiences with cancers, which explains your opinions of them. Usually I think decan II is the worst. I'm decan III, the decan III females I know are normal and don't act like some of the bad Cancers, and I noticed you never mentioned anything about a Decan III female.
You say she had her phone cut off for not paying the bills and you've had previous problems with her ex trying to involve her with something illegal..
In my opinion from what I have read on this, she is not cheating!
I think it's most likely she needs money which i'm guessing because you said she's struggling to pay bills, and for her, unfortunatly her ex may be the only source of abit of easy money whether it illegal or not. If this is the case then I presume she would be stressed and maybe disapointed in herself because she knows you wouldn't aprove of whatever she is doing.
Don't jump to the immediate conclusion that she has cheated with an ex, that's probably the thing that blew the situation out of preportion allthough I also think it was slightly strange for you to find her ex with her at her house. Talk to her, let her know your there for her and you will support her through what she's going through rather than disagreeing with what shes doing because she will be less likely to tell you her problems, don't judge her (or if you do, do it in your head rather than to her face) and act supportive even if you dont like it.
Hope everything works out 🙂
In my opinion from what I have read on this, she is not cheating!
I think it's most likely she needs money which i'm guessing because you said she's struggling to pay bills, and for her, unfortunatly her ex may be the only source of abit of easy money whether it illegal or not. If this is the case then I presume she would be stressed and maybe disapointed in herself because she knows you wouldn't aprove of whatever she is doing.
Don't jump to the immediate conclusion that she has cheated with an ex, that's probably the thing that blew the situation out of preportion allthough I also think it was slightly strange for you to find her ex with her at her house. Talk to her, let her know your there for her and you will support her through what she's going through rather than disagreeing with what shes doing because she will be less likely to tell you her problems, don't judge her (or if you do, do it in your head rather than to her face) and act supportive even if you dont like it.
Hope everything works out 🙂
Posted by nakae
I'm I going crazy or do you all agree that there's so much more to this than what she's letting on? My gut tells me the ex propositioned her to some illegal stuff again and that's why he was there, and she knew that I wouldn't condone it so easier to end things and do whatever she's gonna do than to have me interfere. Cause really, none of it makes any sense at all that she would break up over me being rightfully upset over an ex popping up unannounced.
Either that or she got really cold fee as it's Valentines day and I was planning on proposing. She knew because I called her mom to ask her blessing which she did. I figure she called her mom to vent and her mom told her. No idea. But funny how, in 4 days you can go from proposing to break up!
Wow! I feel for you man, I really do. I think you may be right but this is only my opinion. Your Crab girl has cold feet and is self destructing...
Her actions are screaming fear and sabotage!
Stay away from her. She is erratic and volatile and doesn't know the truth from the lies cause it's just all emotion.
Let her cool out for a few days until she gets a handle on herself and give yourself some time to think. Crazy Cancers
She called an hour ago, and it started with the same bs, and I just reinforced how much I loved her and that I was there for her. She eventually was able to talk, and no yell or scream obscenities. For the first time in a looong time we actually were able to be honest and not try to tear each other up to pieces.
You were all right regarding the money issue, not really sure what about but I know she got very defensive about the money thing. And also that she got super cold feet. Her mom did tell her of my intent and all she could think was how pressured she felt. I explained to her that I didn't care if we got married in five years or ten and that my proposal was simply to reassure her that she was the woman for me and to hopefully help her understand that in no way did I want her to feel pressured.
We continued and she brought up the whole ex thing and that if she couldn't reassure me that nothing was going on then what kind of gf would she be. I explained again that in no way did I think she was cheating, that I never did. That I felt like I was at the bottom of her importance scale and that she lied about him being there previously. I encouraged that I never thought she cheated again, and that I feel she won't allow herself to be vulnerable because of my past transgressions although I tried and would try whatever she needed.
She went on to discuss that she didn't believe it was over and that maybe in haste she ended things because she felt that we were arguing too much and that I couldn't let this go. I confirmed that I was upset about it, again not for the reasons she believed and that were both guilty of not communicating effectively and I didn't realize that there was a time limit on how long I could stay upset. I told her that if I knew there was, I would have tried damn harder to squash it.
We left off with her saying that she didn't break up with me because she wants to be single or meet new people but right now she needs space because she can't think clearly. I just told her that I understood and that she should have really just said that from the beginning and thank you for proving that we actually can have a civillised conversation since there was so much misunderstanding.
Although it sounds like she was dangling a maybe we'll get back together carrot, I'm not holding out for it. She really does need to figure stuff out right now and in no way can I be apart of her fears and sabotaging as Shellshocker put it.
You were all right regarding the money issue, not really sure what about but I know she got very defensive about the money thing. And also that she got super cold feet. Her mom did tell her of my intent and all she could think was how pressured she felt. I explained to her that I didn't care if we got married in five years or ten and that my proposal was simply to reassure her that she was the woman for me and to hopefully help her understand that in no way did I want her to feel pressured.
We continued and she brought up the whole ex thing and that if she couldn't reassure me that nothing was going on then what kind of gf would she be. I explained again that in no way did I think she was cheating, that I never did. That I felt like I was at the bottom of her importance scale and that she lied about him being there previously. I encouraged that I never thought she cheated again, and that I feel she won't allow herself to be vulnerable because of my past transgressions although I tried and would try whatever she needed.
She went on to discuss that she didn't believe it was over and that maybe in haste she ended things because she felt that we were arguing too much and that I couldn't let this go. I confirmed that I was upset about it, again not for the reasons she believed and that were both guilty of not communicating effectively and I didn't realize that there was a time limit on how long I could stay upset. I told her that if I knew there was, I would have tried damn harder to squash it.
We left off with her saying that she didn't break up with me because she wants to be single or meet new people but right now she needs space because she can't think clearly. I just told her that I understood and that she should have really just said that from the beginning and thank you for proving that we actually can have a civillised conversation since there was so much misunderstanding.
Although it sounds like she was dangling a maybe we'll get back together carrot, I'm not holding out for it. She really does need to figure stuff out right now and in no way can I be apart of her fears and sabotaging as Shellshocker put it.
That's probably for the best..
She needs time to think and set her prioritys straight, a small break from each other will most likely reinforce her feelings about you and she'll come running back telling you how much she missed you.
Don't loose contact with her, allthough you are taking time out from each other maybe pop round now and again to see how she's doing etc etc, letting her know you still care for her and will be there if she needs you.
She needs time to think and set her prioritys straight, a small break from each other will most likely reinforce her feelings about you and she'll come running back telling you how much she missed you.
Don't loose contact with her, allthough you are taking time out from each other maybe pop round now and again to see how she's doing etc etc, letting her know you still care for her and will be there if she needs you.
Posted by shellshockerPosted by THEKingofLibra
Cancers are vile disgusting pieces of shit that will lie and stab you in the back. They should be stabbed at will whenever spotted.
how would you know if they're a Cancer? oh I know!... maybe they should be stamped or tattooed so they could be easily identifiedclick to expand
Ya know, the Nazis made Jews wear symbols to denote their identities.
Perhaps Mr. Libra has the same plan in store for Crabbies?
Dude needs to chill the hell out before he hurts someone.
Seriously.
Posted by nakae
Well, all of it means nothing know. She broke up with me. Used multiple excuses, first it was we fought too much, and I didn't see it getting better. Then it was you cheated on me (I did and have taken complete responsibility for it but it happened the first month we were together. I don't even think we were exclusive!) throws it in my face, although I mentioned several times that tell me whatever you need me to do to make this better. I even said at the time that I completely understand if she choose not to be with me any longer. She tells me today, well I'm not over it and I thought I could be a stronger person.
Then she blows up my phone, telling me she's coming over to collect her belongings I tell her she doesn't have to that i'll pack it up and send it in a cab. She then storms through my house, gathering all her things without saying a word. Then says, if you weren't on the phone you'd know that I didnt' want things to end this way since I left you a bbm. I was like okay, read the msg. NOWHERE does it say she's sorry that she broke up with me on a whim and she was upset nothing. I tell her this and she says what do you want from me. I told her, as Shellshocker suggested, that this was all an easy fix and that yes I was upset, but never did I threaten to end things are that I didn't love you. (Even went to her house yesterday to take her dog out as she was sick, brought her soup and some flu stuff ALL while I was still upset about the event) Nothing. She proceeds to yell and say it doesn't matter I'm gone, I'm gone. Now I got angry as she was at the door leaving and picked her bag up and tossed it on my stairs and said to go, you want to leave so bad, then get out. She turns around and bitch slaps me across the face and storms out. WTF!! I'm beginning to understand what KingofLibra is talking about in regards to manipulation.
She sounds like a very emotionally abusive person.
You have dodged a freight train here, pal.
You may not realize it right now because of the emotional pain you suffer from, but with due time, you will realize how lucky you are that you didn't marry this destructive person.
Her behavior is indicative of someone that's been busted who'd prefer to deflect than own up to the fact that she was wrong. I've done it many times. I was busted texting an old lover and when I was confronted, I threw a hissy fit, lied, deflected caused a bunch of drama instead of saying "I'm sorry, I was wrong." Yes, I even slapped his face because he had the nerve to tell me it's over. LOL Bad leo.... Your girl was wrong and doesn't want to own up to it, so she throws your past indiscretions in your face. She's a piece of work, don't fall for it.
She's definitely not marriage material right now. Too immature!
I completely agree Leo, that was my sentiment exactly. I think on some level she's trying to justify the break by saying we argued too much, I cheated for the exact reasons that you stated, because she doesn't want to own up to her mistake and the she keeps trying to test my boundaries.
Our first real argument was regarding a similar thing, with the same ex not but two months ago. Then last week she has the nerve to ask me if I would do this illegal butter?! My first thought is she's trying to test me with her nonsense. When I say calmly that, you do know that we almost broke up over this same thing two months ago she says I know, but I figured I'd ask. I'm thinking why? When you know my standpoint on it.
Today, fresh eyes, I'm not even mad or angry or questioning what happened. It is what it is, and I totally believe I dodged a bullet and I thank her for showing me her true colours. She's obviously not ready for a bigger commitment if she's so willing to throw thing back in my face, and back out of a plan that she enforced up until now.
I stand by my you'll find out more about a person in a break up, than you will while you were together.
Our first real argument was regarding a similar thing, with the same ex not but two months ago. Then last week she has the nerve to ask me if I would do this illegal butter?! My first thought is she's trying to test me with her nonsense. When I say calmly that, you do know that we almost broke up over this same thing two months ago she says I know, but I figured I'd ask. I'm thinking why? When you know my standpoint on it.
Today, fresh eyes, I'm not even mad or angry or questioning what happened. It is what it is, and I totally believe I dodged a bullet and I thank her for showing me her true colours. She's obviously not ready for a bigger commitment if she's so willing to throw thing back in my face, and back out of a plan that she enforced up until now.
I stand by my you'll find out more about a person in a break up, than you will while you were together.
Posted by Leo1970
She's definitely not marriage material right now. Too immature!
Amen.
Given the way she treated the OP, I would say it will be at least a decade or two before this chick has the maturity to handle marriage.
Like I said, homeboy dodged a freight train loaded with TNT and a litany of other explosives.
He just doesn't realize it yet because he is suffering from emotional agony over the end of the relationship.
However, just as I have, he too will come to realize that the destructive behavior she brings to the table would have ultimately caused severe damage to his life.
Posted by nakae
I completely agree Leo, that was my sentiment exactly. I think on some level she's trying to justify the break by saying we argued too much, I cheated for the exact reasons that you stated, because she doesn't want to own up to her mistake and the she keeps trying to test my boundaries.
Our first real argument was regarding a similar thing, with the same ex not but two months ago. Then last week she has the nerve to ask me if I would do this illegal butter?! My first thought is she's trying to test me with her nonsense. When I say calmly that, you do know that we almost broke up over this same thing two months ago she says I know, but I figured I'd ask. I'm thinking why? When you know my standpoint on it.
Today, fresh eyes, I'm not even mad or angry or questioning what happened. It is what it is, and I totally believe I dodged a bullet and I thank her for showing me her true colours. She's obviously not ready for a bigger commitment if she's so willing to throw thing back in my face, and back out of a plan that she enforced up until now.
I stand by my you'll find out more about a person in a break up, than you will while you were together.
Yep.
My ex, for example, was totally nuts.
I put up with it during the relationship, constantly dismissing the disturbing behavior because I really did love her at the time.
However, when we went our separate ways, her berzerk behavior became even worse.
She married a psychopath 9 months later on the rebound, and defied her whole family.
She is now slogging through a destructive marriage, and isolated some 1200 miles away from everyone she knows.
It's a painful and destructive situation that sometimes makes me wish I had done something different, but the thing is....
I did try to save the relationship!
Sometimes, however, people do destructive things to themselves and everyone around them.
...And there isn't a damn thing we can do to stop them, no matter how peaceful, diplomatic or loving we try to be.
It just does not matter.
Based on what you have told us all, I relate to your experience and can assure you that you will be fine knowing full well that you have escaped a burning building in this particular life lesson.
I just wanted to see if any of you can shed some light on her chart especially the gemini moon part.
This is her chart:
Sun Cancer
Moon Gemini
Mercury Cancer
Venus Cancer
Mars Leo
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Cancer
Asc node Aries
This is her chart:
Sun Cancer
Moon Gemini
Mercury Cancer
Venus Cancer
Mars Leo
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio
Lilith Cancer
Asc node Aries
ahhh... give the girl a break. I mean look at her chart, she's uber watery. I've got the same... Cancer Sun, Venus and Mercury. She just got scared and went into panic mode instead of retreating to get herself together. Cancer males do stuff like this all the time and people tell the women dealing with them to be patient. But with a female... it's all "ditch the bitch".
Have a little compassion people and stop projecting your own past relationship issues onto this guy....
Have a little compassion people and stop projecting your own past relationship issues onto this guy....
She sent me a Valentine's wish this afternoon, and as Shellshocker put it (think your my new best friend 🙂 She felt pressured & that things may have been moving to fast. She's had a little time to think and she would really like the op to maybe get together and see if we can figure this out. That she can't stop thinking of me. blah blah.
I replied back no emotion, that I'm not around until Thursday, and that we can meet after work (somewhere public to avoid yelling) and we can talk.
Don't really know what to do know. I'm disappointed, crushed but still obviously love her. Don't know if I need to be firm and tell her that she needs to ditch the lying and illegal stuff. Which makes me question this whole change of heart really. Because the conflict in question had nothing to do with the marriage proposal. Although that's what she's saying set her off running. No mention again of the illegal shit?? Help
I replied back no emotion, that I'm not around until Thursday, and that we can meet after work (somewhere public to avoid yelling) and we can talk.
Don't really know what to do know. I'm disappointed, crushed but still obviously love her. Don't know if I need to be firm and tell her that she needs to ditch the lying and illegal stuff. Which makes me question this whole change of heart really. Because the conflict in question had nothing to do with the marriage proposal. Although that's what she's saying set her off running. No mention again of the illegal shit?? Help
Make up sex is the best. LOL I'm happy you're getting the opportunity to see her/talk it out.
Posted by piranhaparadisePosted by nakae
She sent me a Valentine's wish this afternoon, and as Shellshocker put it (think your my new best friend 🙂 She felt pressured & that things may have been moving to fast. She's had a little time to think and she would really like the op to maybe get together and see if we can figure this out. That she can't stop thinking of me. blah blah.
I replied back no emotion, that I'm not around until Thursday, and that we can meet after work (somewhere public to avoid yelling) and we can talk.
Don't really know what to do know. I'm disappointed, crushed but still obviously love her. Don't know if I need to be firm and tell her that she needs to ditch the lying and illegal stuff. Which makes me question this whole change of heart really. Because the conflict in question had nothing to do with the marriage proposal. Although that's what she's saying set her off running. No mention again of the illegal shit?? Help
Keep to your morals and set some boundaries...don't go against the morals you hold for a girl...if she knows what's best she will drop the illegal stuff but it has to come from her...on her own...you can state what you won't put up with and be firm on that...she will respect you for that...and see you are not like her loser ex...but you will just say what *you* won't put up with...don't give an ultimatum...just say what you won't settle for...
Don't settle for anything less then what you are accustomed to...you don't want to be associated with iilegal stuff especially if she gets caught...she needs to know you will not settle otherwise if you brush it aside she will continue like before...
click to expand
I'm glad you two will have the opportunity to talk things out. She's not so immature after all, now is she... 🙂
What pp said is good. Tell her how you feel about it and it is ultimately her decision... but she is on her own with whatever consequences it may bring.
btw...my ex comes over from time to time. He even crashed in my basement for a month when he broke up with his girlfriend. It means nothing... because we are nothing. It is the same thing I'd do for anyone of the people I care about. period.
Her behavior was immature, but I think everyone can be a bit immature at times. Especially me Ms. Leo. Honey, I'll throw a hissy fit in a minute if I don't get my way. Hey I'm working on it. LOL
thnx for the advice. I'm very cautious, so this situ won"t be any different. Im going in to listen to what she has to say, and than explain to her my thoughts on the subject and hopefully she'll she the situation for what it is and we can start to build bridges again.
btw I think you got your facts a little twisted, Pamela Anderson didn't get AIDS, but has Hep C. She participates in a lot of awareness and campaigns agains AIDS, but she doesn't have it. Nonetheless Hep C is a very serious condition and my heart goes out to her. Oh God, another example of a perfectly charming Cancer woman who went just too far into self-detruct mode. Still recovering form her twenties in her forties shitt, what did I sign up for! lol
btw I think you got your facts a little twisted, Pamela Anderson didn't get AIDS, but has Hep C. She participates in a lot of awareness and campaigns agains AIDS, but she doesn't have it. Nonetheless Hep C is a very serious condition and my heart goes out to her. Oh God, another example of a perfectly charming Cancer woman who went just too far into self-detruct mode. Still recovering form her twenties in her forties shitt, what did I sign up for! lol
Posted by aquagirl24Posted by Cancerflower5808
Something went on and I think you should find out what> I'm cancer too, but she's so different from me. I don't talk to any of my exs because I don't see the point. It will jsut screw things up with my current relationship. Adn sometimes if one of my PSYCHO ex's calls me from another number after I already blocked their old one and makes new email accounts(some of my exs are literally crazy) I tell my bf all of this since I feel he has a right to know whats going on and I tell him that I blocked their new numbers/accounts. She should stop hanging around her ex, he already tried to get her to do illegal stuff before. Hes not a good guy, you should tell her how you feel about her being around him. Also try to get the truth out of her about what happened when he "randomly showed up" at her aprtment
i agree with her. cancer is similar into secrecy to aquarius... i know my cancer female friend, she isnt the cheating type. she had an aquarius bf and when she wasnt interested anymore, she told him straight am not interested into you, i dont want to wind you up with the relationship. so ask her to be straight.
also sometimes they only open up with a few people. my best mates sister is a cancer (they are twins) but she doesnt talk to her as much as she talks to me... she values me more than her sister.
be the type of guy (aquarians are good at this) that is ready to listen, we love to listen and help, so you might give her a reason to trust u.
i dont trust the guy who was there, there's something going on and he isnt a good man...
be careful!!!
i read pamela anderson (a cancer good woman) ended up with a disgraceful bastard!!! who gave her aids, i didnt know that, my bf told me about it, and i felt really sorry for her!!!
save her that would be romantic!!click to expand
i LOVE aquarius girls lol. my best friend is one and they understand us cancers. i dont like aquarius guys htough
Uh, who asked you aqua bitch.
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Anyways, her phone has been disconnected for not paying the bill and we haven't been able to touch base as frequently. She calls from a pay phone and leaves a msg to say that she's just going to visit a friend and then go home and try calling me to see whether she'll stay at mine or if I'm going to come there. I can't call her back since she doesn't have a phone and I figure I'll just go there so she doesn't have to leave again since I was already out.
I get to her house, and she answers the door and says "Oh hi, how are you. Corey's here." (Some background, Corey is her ex bf from two years ago. And if you read my previous concern about my Cancer gf, the same ex bf that wanted to get her into some illegal stuff.) I ask her 1. How does he know where you live -she just moved in to her new apartment January 1st. 2. How did he know you were home if you don't have a phone? She says, he's been here before. ALL NEWS TO ME. She never once told me that he'd been there before. Secondly, she says he dropped unexpectedly.
They both look guilty, not like cheating or anything just like they both knew that there were obvious boundaries crossed. He leaves shortly after I got there, and then my gf tries to smooth things over by saying that it was nothing and that he just dropped by. blah blah to find out how a friend was doing since he couldn't get a hold of them. And I'm like right, so your ex bf comes to your house at night in the freezing cold unexpectedly to find out how a friend who has a phone to see how there doing?? So not completely sold on the idea and feeling unsettled about the whole thing. I leave. Haven't heard anything from her since.
Long story short I don't feel she did anything to reassure me that the situ was completely nothing, and my trust has broken on two counts. One, had no idea he had been to her house already, and two that it's okay for an ex to show up and her not say something to him regarding that it's not cool to just pop up. I just feel that she isn't drawing the line in the sand with him. And now I'm the one who's blown it out of proportion.
What do you all think??