Phenjx
@Phenjx
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 85 · Topics: 5
Understanding A Cancer Man
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He's trying to make peace with not having you in life, he's trying not to think about you. Maybe he's realized he over reacted she's his sister after all.
I'm very private, extremely. If I don't share a supposed secret myself, with the right person, at the right time, I feel betrayed. And I'm more strict with people I trust.
I've blocked someone for sharing a secret, cause I felt betrayed, ( leo close friend) unblocked her 6months later, she starting sending me msgs explaining, I only let her back 8months after.
I'm very private, extremely. If I don't share a supposed secret myself, with the right person, at the right time, I feel betrayed. And I'm more strict with people I trust.
I've blocked someone for sharing a secret, cause I felt betrayed, ( leo close friend) unblocked her 6months later, she starting sending me msgs explaining, I only let her back 8months after.
Posted by NamyHi Namy. Thanks for the reply. What do you think he would do and what do you think I should do? Does he still have feelings for me?
He's trying to make peace with not having you in life, he's trying not to think about you. Maybe he's realized he over reacted she's his sister after all.
I'm very private, extremely. If I don't share a supposed secret myself, with the right person, at the right time, I feel betrayed. And I'm more strict with people I trust.
I've blocked someone for sharing a secret, cause I felt betrayed, ( leo close friend) unblocked her 6months later, she starting sending me msgs explaining, I only let her back 8months after.
Man that's messed up, now he can't trust you. Trust is very important in a relationship. And Damn 6 months and already broke up....hm. Now you might lose him as a friend to because again if I trust and communicate with you it means I am comfortable and I can come to you for anything. Nope not with you as he sees it.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428Hi. Thanks for the response. If I might lose him as a friend, then why should he bother to unblock me on whatsapp? Couldn't he just simply leave it as blocked?
Man that's messed up, now he can't trust you. Trust is very important in a relationship. And Damn 6 months and already broke up....hm. Now you might lose him as a friend to because again if I trust and communicate with you it means I am comfortable and I can come to you for anything. Nope not with you as he sees it.
Please help me understand his viewpoint better.
Posted by Phenjx6days is too short to make someone feel guilty if I felt really betrayed. I mean I could go years on that. My Leo ex bf is blocked till this very day(over 8months now), he's probably talked to his sister and if they are really close, she's helping him put things into perspective. Which also means he still cares, it's now a waiting game. Waiting to see who would break first.Posted by NamyHi Namy. Thanks for the reply. What do you think he would do and what do you think I should do? Does he still have feelings for me?
He's trying to make peace with not having you in life, he's trying not to think about you. Maybe he's realized he over reacted she's his sister after all.
I'm very private, extremely. If I don't share a supposed secret myself, with the right person, at the right time, I feel betrayed. And I'm more strict with people I trust.
I've blocked someone for sharing a secret, cause I felt betrayed, ( leo close friend) unblocked her 6months later, she starting sending me msgs explaining, I only let her back 8months after.click to expand
I admire persistence, that's why I have no water sign friends, except maybe one Scorpio. He unblocked you, in my head if you truly cared you'd send a message but you can't keep playing his game.
You have to call him out, get prepared to get blocked again, tell him to stop playing these games. He should also think about how you feel, the way you approach him would make all the difference.
I'm also dating an Aqua, God knows I pull the silent treatment card when I want something changed or for him to cater to particular need of mine, It's selfish but it works.
Posted by NamyHi Namy. Thanks for giving me some hope. I do agree that his silence and him blocking me out, did make me think about the way I behaved and it has changed me completely. It seems that you have the most accurate thought on handling Aqua. I have not texted him yet. He was very harsh with his words and I realised it might be said out of anger. I am giving him time, about 30 days. Since he has school and exams are nearing, I am waiting for them to be over before I text him. But do I apologise or do I congratulate him for finishing school?Posted by Phenjx6days is too short to make someone feel guilty if I felt really betrayed. I mean I could go years on that. My Leo ex bf is blocked till this very day(over 8months now), he's probably talked to his sister and if they are really close, she's helping him put things into perspective. Which also means he still cares, it's now a waiting game. Waiting to see who would break first.Posted by NamyHi Namy. Thanks for the reply. What do you think he would do and what do you think I should do? Does he still have feelings for me?
He's trying to make peace with not having you in life, he's trying not to think about you. Maybe he's realized he over reacted she's his sister after all.
I'm very private, extremely. If I don't share a supposed secret myself, with the right person, at the right time, I feel betrayed. And I'm more strict with people I trust.
I've blocked someone for sharing a secret, cause I felt betrayed, ( leo close friend) unblocked her 6months later, she starting sending me msgs explaining, I only let her back 8months after.
I admire persistence, that's why I have no water sign friends, except maybe one Scorpio. He unblocked you, in my head if you truly cared you'd send a message but you can't keep playing his game.
You have to call him out, get prepared to get blocked again, tell him to stop playing these games. He should also think about how you feel, the way you approach him would make all the difference.
I'm also dating an Aqua, God knows I pull the silent treatment card when I want something changed or for him to cater to particular need of mine, It's selfish but it works.click to expand
Which do you think is better?
I think if you haven't already said this. you should send him a short message, just letting him know you are sorry you broke his trust, and that you never meant to hurt him. Don't try to explain or give excuses, just a simple apology. That way he'll see that you're taking responsibility for your actions, and you accept his judgment, whatever that may be. Also that puts the ball into his court.
But personally I'm wondering why you're still hanging on to him if you've already been broken up? I think this might be a better time to get on with your life.
But personally I'm wondering why you're still hanging on to him if you've already been broken up? I think this might be a better time to get on with your life.
Posted by Shellyd238I have yet to send an apology text to him. I just don't know how he might react to it. Puts the ball into his court? What would that do?
I think if you haven't already said this. you should send him a short message, just letting him know you are sorry you broke his trust, and that you never meant to hurt him. Don't try to explain or give excuses, just a simple apology. That way he'll see that you're taking responsibility for your actions, and you accept his judgment, whatever that may be. Also that puts the ball into his court.
But personally I'm wondering why you're still hanging on to him if you've already been broken up? I think this might be a better time to get on with your life.
When I first saw him, and when he first saw me. There was just something about each other and despite him having a gf then, he came looking for me. And even after I left school and there was no other way I could meet him, I see him and then that's when we starting dating. There's just something about him and he says the same about me.
Don't sen apology text,show him that you're sorry, go to his place, give a sincere apology,show you're sorry, put in effort in this, everyone can message, this doesn't prove anything, actions speak louder than words,goodluck 😉 Write a letter maybe if you're so afraid to see him, it's way better, more kind and more meaning having thing than texting a message. 😉
Posted by rakacI have got no idea when he would be home... So how would I work this out then?
Don't sen apology text,show him that you're sorry, go to his place, give a sincere apology,show you're sorry, put in effort in this, everyone can message, this doesn't prove anything, actions speak louder than words,goodluck 😉 Write a letter maybe if you're so afraid to see him, it's way better, more kind and more meaning having thing than texting a message. 😉
Posted by PhenjxYou can't force a cancer man to do anything they are not ready to do. By sending him a simple apology, it lets him know you're sorry, but still gives him enough space to decide how he wants to handle it. And you have to let him handle it the way he wants to. he might not be ready to hear it yet, but something tells me if he's unblocked you, he might be.Posted by Shellyd238I have yet to send an apology text to him. I just don't know how he might react to it. Puts the ball into his court? What would that do?
I think if you haven't already said this. you should send him a short message, just letting him know you are sorry you broke his trust, and that you never meant to hurt him. Don't try to explain or give excuses, just a simple apology. That way he'll see that you're taking responsibility for your actions, and you accept his judgment, whatever that may be. Also that puts the ball into his court.
But personally I'm wondering why you're still hanging on to him if you've already been broken up? I think this might be a better time to get on with your life.
When I first saw him, and when he first saw me. There was just something about each other and despite him having a gf then, he came looking for me. And even after I left school and there was no other way I could meet him, I see him and then that's when we starting dating. There's just something about him and he says the same about me.click to expand
If you've read other posts about cancers you know about their infamous shell. You have to let him stay in his shell if that's where he wants to be. he'll come out when he's ready and not before, but if you send him that apology, and then leave him be. when he's ready to come out, he might just reach out to you.
Because he's a Cancer I don't recommend going to his place, if he's still a little angry and in his shell, it'll probably just make him more angry that you didn't listen to him.
Posted by Shellyd238He said to not contact him either, to leave him alone... How then?Posted by PhenjxYou can't force a cancer man to do anything they are not ready to do. By sending him a simple apology, it lets him know you're sorry, but still gives him enough space to decide how he wants to handle it. And you have to let him handle it the way he wants to. he might not be ready to hear it yet, but something tells me if he's unblocked you, he might be.Posted by Shellyd238I have yet to send an apology text to him. I just don't know how he might react to it. Puts the ball into his court? What would that do?
I think if you haven't already said this. you should send him a short message, just letting him know you are sorry you broke his trust, and that you never meant to hurt him. Don't try to explain or give excuses, just a simple apology. That way he'll see that you're taking responsibility for your actions, and you accept his judgment, whatever that may be. Also that puts the ball into his court.
But personally I'm wondering why you're still hanging on to him if you've already been broken up? I think this might be a better time to get on with your life.
When I first saw him, and when he first saw me. There was just something about each other and despite him having a gf then, he came looking for me. And even after I left school and there was no other way I could meet him, I see him and then that's when we starting dating. There's just something about him and he says the same about me.
If you've read other posts about cancers you know about their infamous shell. You have to let him stay in his shell if that's where he wants to be. he'll come out when he's ready and not before, but if you send him that apology, and then leave him be. when he's ready to come out, he might just reach out to you.
Because he's a Cancer I don't recommend going to his place, if he's still a little angry and in his shell, it'll probably just make him more angry that you didn't listen to him.click to expand
I'd say by unblocking you, he's giving you silent permission to reach out. if it were me I'd say something like, "I know you didn't want me to contact you, but I just wanted you to know that I am sorry that I broke your trust. I never meant to hurt you." and just leave it at that. No contact again unless he reaches out first.
Posted by PhenjxPatience, you could wait. 😉 Or just go there, write letter in advance, if he's not home just leave it there 😉Posted by rakacI have got no idea when he would be home... So how would I work this out then?
Don't sen apology text,show him that you're sorry, go to his place, give a sincere apology,show you're sorry, put in effort in this, everyone can message, this doesn't prove anything, actions speak louder than words,goodluck 😉 Write a letter maybe if you're so afraid to see him, it's way better, more kind and more meaning having thing than texting a message. 😉click to expand
Posted by Shellyd238I felt the same way too when he unblocked me. Like he wanted me to communicate with him. Start the ball rolling. I am going to give it a shot today. Wish me luck.
I'd say by unblocking you, he's giving you silent permission to reach out. if it were me I'd say something like, "I know you didn't want me to contact you, but I just wanted you to know that I am sorry that I broke your trust. I never meant to hurt you." and just leave it at that. No contact again unless he reaches out first.
Thank You.
Posted by KoniuchaI felt that the stupid was said out of anger or a way to make me think of what I had done, which was stupid.... I shouldn't have involved a third party anyways... He is 24... A year older than me.
I would apologize and just move on. It is bugging me that he called you stupid.
How old is he?
Posted by GoldigoldI hope my situation would be like yours... We had previous disagreements and he had blocked me... But soon after unblocking me... Hoping for me to contact him and I would have even contacted him before he unblocked me. This time, I did nothing and I will contact him. Send an apology and hope everything works out. Wish me luck.
Whenever I upset my boyfriend all I have to do his apologize and he forgives me like it never happened. I think Cancers just want a sincere apology.
Thank you 🙂
Posted by rakacHonestly I agree with @rakac actions speaks louder than words. No matter how angry I am, if I see you, I'd go soft and be much more open to fixing things.Posted by PhenjxPatience, you could wait. 😉 Or just go there, write letter in advance, if he's not home just leave it there 😉Posted by rakacI have got no idea when he would be home... So how would I work this out then?
Don't sen apology text,show him that you're sorry, go to his place, give a sincere apology,show you're sorry, put in effort in this, everyone can message, this doesn't prove anything, actions speak louder than words,goodluck 😉 Write a letter maybe if you're so afraid to see him, it's way better, more kind and more meaning having thing than texting a message. 😉click to expand
Did you try contacting his sister? She could help with a solution and a means of tracking him down. This is what I love about Leos, a Leo would hunt you down!!
Posted by GoldigoldPosted by PhenjxGood luck!! Leave the ego behind and apologize but also explain to him that it is very hurtful to you that he blocks. It makes you feel like he doesn't love you and he is removing you from his life. That you are going to stop betraying his trust, because his trust is valuable and means everything. Wow him with your maturity. And work on having a real relationship. Aquarius and Cancer is an amazing pairing. Betraying his trust is going to make him feel like a child or that your taking away his manhood. Aquarius is a very strong sign. You need to be more respectful to his wishes. If you want it to work..good luckPosted by GoldigoldI hope my situation would be like yours... We had previous disagreements and he had blocked me... But soon after unblocking me... Hoping for me to contact him and I would have even contacted him before he unblocked me. This time, I did nothing and I will contact him. Send an apology and hope everything works out. Wish me luck.
Whenever I upset my boyfriend all I have to do his apologize and he forgives me like it never happened. I think Cancers just want a sincere apology.
Thank you 🙂click to expand
Thank you so much... I would craft up a really good apology and pray it all works out 🙂 Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate it.
Posted by NamySadly his sister is out of town... I am afraid to go to his house and find him not there... I do agree that a face to face contact would be best... But I do not know his schedule.Posted by rakacHonestly I agree with @rakac actions speaks louder than words. No matter how angry I am, if I see you, I'd go soft and be much more open to fixing things.Posted by PhenjxPatience, you could wait. 😉 Or just go there, write letter in advance, if he's not home just leave it there 😉Posted by rakacI have got no idea when he would be home... So how would I work this out then?
Don't sen apology text,show him that you're sorry, go to his place, give a sincere apology,show you're sorry, put in effort in this, everyone can message, this doesn't prove anything, actions speak louder than words,goodluck 😉 Write a letter maybe if you're so afraid to see him, it's way better, more kind and more meaning having thing than texting a message. 😉
Did you try contacting his sister? She could help with a solution and a means of tracking him down. This is what I love about Leos, a Leo would hunt you down!!click to expand
Posted by GoldigoldPosted by PhenjxGood luck!! Leave the ego behind and apologize but also explain to him that it is very hurtful to you that he blocks. It makes you feel like he doesn't love you and he is removing you from his life. That you are going to stop betraying his trust, because his trust is valuable and means everything. Wow him with your maturity. And work on having a real relationship. Aquarius and Cancer is an amazing pairing. Betraying his trust is going to make him feel like a child or that your taking away his manhood. Aquarius is a very strong sign. You need to be more respectful to his wishes. If you want it to work..good luckPosted by GoldigoldI hope my situation would be like yours... We had previous disagreements and he had blocked me... But soon after unblocking me... Hoping for me to contact him and I would have even contacted him before he unblocked me. This time, I did nothing and I will contact him. Send an apology and hope everything works out. Wish me luck.
Whenever I upset my boyfriend all I have to do his apologize and he forgives me like it never happened. I think Cancers just want a sincere apology.
Thank you 🙂click to expand
Sadly, don't go over then, don't waste your energy. This is the best advice to go with, Aquarians are really strong, I respect them for that.
Posted by Goldigoldtrue,but def not a text message, that might get us angry or sad even more 😄 apology +good meal = best way to go with cancers 😄
Whenever I upset my boyfriend all I have to do his apologize and he forgives me like it never happened. I think Cancers just want a sincere apology.
Posted by rakacI would agree, but I have very little options now... Either call or text.. I rather a text so that it gives him time to think and process and he will respond when he feels like responding. A call may put pressure on him and he may hang up when he doesn't feel like it.Posted by Goldigoldtrue,but def not a text message, that might get us angry or sad even more 😄 apology +good meal = best way to go with cancers 😄
Whenever I upset my boyfriend all I have to do his apologize and he forgives me like it never happened. I think Cancers just want a sincere apology.click to expand
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Love,
Eva
Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.
Posted by PhenjxWell, then let me put his intro prospective since you've heard from the "men". He's trying to give you the fig leaf (peace). He feels bad for unblocking you. For me? Hell no! I unfriended my ex bf (Saggy) from FB and my cell phone (gotta LOVE T-Mobile).Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.click to expand
Once a Cancerian tells you to leave them alone; they crawl back into their shell (all you see are their beady eyes). He's thinking....what is she doing? Who is she seeing? Maybe I was too harsh. I talked to my sister and she told me I was stupid in severing all ties with you; she may be right. I blew things out of proportion. I should remain to be humble and kind. Cancerians NEVER forget the love of their life. It's a catch 22 with them.
I want to say wait until you hear from him. Then again, you're afraid to respond to him on FB for you think he will diss you again. What we have to fear is fear itself. Give him another week or two. I think he's waiting to hear from you (in his mind he's probably thinking, "If she cared she'd contact me by now". So the balls on YOUR court. Do what your heart/mind tells you.
Good luck! 🤗
Love,
Eva
PS: When you DO get in touch with him let him know you will NEVER, EVER talk to anyone about your love life. Let him know to release you from "jail" already because you've paid for your mistakes.
Posted by EvatheDivaI sincerely hope he wants me back... And thank you so much for everything you just shared. Truly appreciate it very much.Posted by PhenjxWell, then let me put his intro prospective since you've heard from the "men". He's trying to give you the fig leaf (peace). He feels bad for unblocking you. For me? Hell no! I unfriended my ex bf (Saggy) from FB and my cell phone (gotta LOVE T-Mobile).Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.
Once a Cancerian tells you to leave them alone; they crawl back into their shell (all you see are their beady eyes). He's thinking....what is she doing? Who is she seeing? Maybe I was too harsh. I talked to my sister and she told me I was stupid in severing all ties with you; she may be right. I blew things out of proportion. I should remain to be humble and kind. Cancerians NEVER forget the love of their life. It's a catch 22 with them.
I want to say wait until you hear from him. Then again, you're afraid to respond to him on FB for you think he will diss you again. What we have to fear is fear itself. Give him another week or two. I think he's waiting to hear from you (in his mind he's probably thinking, "If she cared she'd contact me by now". So the balls on YOUR court. Do what your heart/mind tells you.
Good luck! 🤗
Love,
Eva
PS: When you DO get in touch with him let him know you will NEVER, EVER talk to anyone about your love life. Let him know to release you from "jail" already because you've paid for your mistakes.click to expand
Posted by PhenjxPosted by EvatheDivaI sincerely hope he wants me back... And thank you so much for everything you just shared. Truly appreciate it very much.Posted by PhenjxWell, then let me put this into prospective since you've heard from the "men". He's trying to give you the olive leaf (peace). He feels bad for unblocking you. For me? Hell no! I unfriended my ex bf (Saggy) from FB and my cell phone (gotta LOVE T-Mobile).Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.
Once a Cancerian tells you to leave them alone; they crawl back into their shell (all you see are their beady eyes). He's thinking....what is she doing? Who is she seeing? Maybe I was too harsh. I talked to my sister and she told me I was stupid in severing all ties with you; she may be right. I blew things out of proportion. I should remain to be humble and kind. Cancerians NEVER forget the love of their life. It's a catch 22 with them.
I want to say wait until you hear from him. Then again, you're afraid to respond to him on FB for you think he will diss you again. What we have to fear is fear itself. Give him another week or two. I think he's waiting to hear from you (in his mind he's probably thinking, "If she cared she'd contact me by now". So the balls on YOUR court. Do what your heart/mind tells you.
Good luck! 🤗
Love,
Eva
PS: When you DO get in touch with him let him know you will NEVER, EVER talk to anyone about your love life. Let him know to release you from "jail" already because you've paid for your mistakes.click to expand
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Any ideas?
Posted by Phenjxyou sound libra, or have dominant libra. (why the hesitancy and don't want to make waves)Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.click to expand
anyway, I saw that you talked to his sister about personal stuff.
why would you do that?
sometimes, sisters and brothers don't have anything to do with eachother in terms of PERSONAL stuff or relationship materials. They choose different types of people.
it sounded like you wanted to get "close" to his family by being a confident to her, and getting some secret dibs on him maybe.
getting closer to his family means nothing if you can't get close to him FIRST.
EDIT - just wanted to add, he is no. 1 in your eyes.
not no. 2. or no.3
Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.
Posted by SensitiveBluesHi. I really don't know his schedule. I have done this before where I would go to his house. But that was because his sister was around to open the door. However I have texted him and things are not looking good.
You know why Virgo women get crab men— They be up their butt 24/7. It's disgusting their clinginess but it works
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
Not wanting to push this any further.
What do you reckon this means and what can i do? Please advise.
Posted by lisabethur8I spoke to her because I didn't understand his actions and I was hoping that she would give me some light on his behaviour because when i ask him. He shuts me off. She has been involved in his other relationships. I did not get any dibs on him. I just wanted to understand the situation and why a guy would do something like that. I wasn't intending to get closer to the family. I really wanted to understand him more, so that I could make it work.Posted by Phenjxyou sound libra, or have dominant libra. (why the hesitancy and don't want to make waves)Posted by EvatheDivaHaha... Yea I agree... I ask a lot of questions!
Aquarians ask allot of questions, don't they? Sounds like a Libra gf of mine, LOL! 😆
Love,
Eva
Just to be more clear. Understand things better. Sometimes, you just got to ask.. I don't want to assume or read a situation wrongly.
anyway, I saw that you talked to his sister about personal stuff.
why would you do that?
sometimes, sisters and brothers don't have anything to do with eachother in terms of PERSONAL stuff or relationship materials. They choose different types of people.
it sounded like you wanted to get "close" to his family by being a confident to her, and getting some secret dibs on him maybe.
getting closer to his family means nothing if you can't get close to him FIRST.
EDIT - just wanted to add, he is no. 1 in your eyes.
not no. 2. or no.3click to expand
It's not so easy to read sometimes and i wanted opinions on what it may be. Who better than his own sister? that was my mindset and thats why i went to her.
Posted by Shellyd238He has read it. Several times i wouldnt know. I decided to text him and here is the convo.Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.click to expand
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
It's a short conversation. Please do tell me what you think.
Posted by SensitiveBluesLike i said, meeting him was not a possibility. Is there really no hope to build back his trust with me?Posted by Phenjxyou should have had this conversation face to face, yet you wanted to do an exchange over textPosted by Shellyd238He has read it. Several times i wouldnt know. I decided to text him and here is the convo.Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
It's a short conversation. Please do tell me what you think.
and it's OVER
MOVE ON
click to expand
Posted by PhenjxYou aren't the 1st , You aren't the last. He's an asshole, you deserve someone better. So stop reading into things too much. And stop agonizing about what could have been. If it should have, it would have.
Hey guys... So I am stuck in a fix regarding a situation with a Cancer man. I'll summarise the situation as much as possible.
We were dating for about 6 months and then it got too far too fast and we broke up. But then we continued to meet, and unknowingly, he would hold my hand and take pictures and be extremely close to me. So I took it as a hint that maybe he would want things to go back to how it was before. Then I stupidly told his sister something that happened between me and him, which is personal but I was confused by his actions and I just needed someone to help me understand the situation better. However, he found out from the sister that I told her about this and he told me that it is all over between me and him.
His exact words: "You telling my sister about that stuff is just a huge breach of trust." and then adding on that I should never go by his house, or contact him. Saying that I was trouble. He told me to keep my stupid self away from him.
He blocks me on whatsapp and unfriends me on FB. I can still see his profile on FB. So I don't think he blocked me on it.
About 6 days later, I see that he has unblocked me on whatsapp but he doesn't say anything to me. It has been four days since he unblocked me and till now, no communication has taken place.
So a few questions are on my mind...
1. Why did he unblock me? What's the purpose of it?
2. Will he take me back into his life? As a friend or as a lover?
3. Will he trust me again?
He might have unblocked you to entice you to reach out to him.
1. Why did he unblock me? What's the purpose of it?
2. Will he take me back into his life? As a friend or as a lover?
3. Will he trust me again?
I very much doubt he'd be the one to reach out, since he was the one who felt wronged.
As a Cancer, I know that I can't just 'stop' feeling for someone, even after I've broken up with them.
Especially if the heartbreak is fresh.
In any situation, I feel like it's good to talk sooner about it, rather than later.
If you're truly sorry, then you have to say it.
You absolutely need to spill your heart to a Cancer.
We need to believe that you're sorry and will not betray us again.
Silence makes it works, trust me.
A Few questions to you...
1. Would you really like to come back into his life, foregetting you have your own life not worse than his (Why shouldn't HE not want to come into your life instead?)?
2. If there was some other great guy who didn't do all that crappy stuff your cancer did, would you STILLl want to come back to your cancer's life?
3. When you were with your cancer guy, did it make you really happy and relaxed? Did your life bacome better after he appeared in it? Emotionally as well?
4. Have you found your emotional centre and don't allow ANYONE shake its serenity? In other words, are you confident enough to make sure what you REALLY WANT from relationship?
So, I've had more questions than you still my final will be:
Would you rather be with him or move on and find someone really worthy and making you happy regardless how much time it can take?
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result (c)
1. Would you really like to come back into his life, foregetting you have your own life not worse than his (Why shouldn't HE not want to come into your life instead?)?
2. If there was some other great guy who didn't do all that crappy stuff your cancer did, would you STILLl want to come back to your cancer's life?
3. When you were with your cancer guy, did it make you really happy and relaxed? Did your life bacome better after he appeared in it? Emotionally as well?
4. Have you found your emotional centre and don't allow ANYONE shake its serenity? In other words, are you confident enough to make sure what you REALLY WANT from relationship?
So, I've had more questions than you still my final will be:
Would you rather be with him or move on and find someone really worthy and making you happy regardless how much time it can take?
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result (c)
I hate texting...honestly the fact that he's replying counts for something cause I ignore ignore ignore. I mean sometimes I rather make myself unavailable than respond to a text.
You've texted, you've tried...it's time to wait. Stop with the sorry here and there, it's TOO MUCH, starting to sound like it's not sincere. Wait another 2days, then you could just say Hello.
Prepare to get your heartbroken, that's the difference between you two. His mind is set, he knows he can live with or without you, he is prepared for whatever. You have no hold on him, that's what you need to work on.
You've texted, you've tried...it's time to wait. Stop with the sorry here and there, it's TOO MUCH, starting to sound like it's not sincere. Wait another 2days, then you could just say Hello.
Prepare to get your heartbroken, that's the difference between you two. His mind is set, he knows he can live with or without you, he is prepared for whatever. You have no hold on him, that's what you need to work on.
Posted by PhenjxI think you should not have reached out again. You need to go no contact. I'd say do not reach out to him sooner than 30 days, now that you've reached out twice and he didn't respond well to it.Posted by Shellyd238He has read it. Several times i wouldnt know. I decided to text him and here is the convo.Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
It's a short conversation. Please do tell me what you think.click to expand
That's all of the advise I have at this point. No more contact from you. Spend your time making yourself better, go out and do things, that take your mind off him. If you keep reaching out, you'll seem pathetic to him, and he'll know he has the upper-hand to make you suffer as long as he wants to.
Posted by KoniuchaHi. He is talking about me spilling out something that he thought was a secret. He did not tell me it was a secret and I really didn't take that as a secret. But like what you said, the statement he made doesn't quite make sense because that would mean he would prefer someone to keep secrets from him. I see it to as he wants it to be in his favour. Which I am quite upset about.Posted by PhenjxHe has trouble trusting people with no secrets? So he prefers those that keep secrets from him? Sounds like he has no idea what he is talking about.Posted by Shellyd238He has read it. Several times i wouldnt know. I decided to text him and here is the convo.Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
It's a short conversation. Please do tell me what you think.click to expand
How do I handle him?
Posted by KoniuchaHe has always said he needed me and he remains quite confused on the type of relationship to maintain with me. I want him, I love him. I just don't know about him and I am someone who do not give up. I will still try, always hoping for the best.Posted by TaurusMarineTime is precious and this guy is wasting yours.Posted by PhenjxYou aren't the 1st , You aren't the last. He's an asshole, you deserve someone better. So stop reading into things too much. And stop agonizing about what could have been. If it should have, it would have.
Hey guys... So I am stuck in a fix regarding a situation with a Cancer man. I'll summarise the situation as much as possible.
We were dating for about 6 months and then it got too far too fast and we broke up. But then we continued to meet, and unknowingly, he would hold my hand and take pictures and be extremely close to me. So I took it as a hint that maybe he would want things to go back to how it was before. Then I stupidly told his sister something that happened between me and him, which is personal but I was confused by his actions and I just needed someone to help me understand the situation better. However, he found out from the sister that I told her about this and he told me that it is all over between me and him.
His exact words: "You telling my sister about that stuff is just a huge breach of trust." and then adding on that I should never go by his house, or contact him. Saying that I was trouble. He told me to keep my stupid self away from him.
He blocks me on whatsapp and unfriends me on FB. I can still see his profile on FB. So I don't think he blocked me on it.
About 6 days later, I see that he has unblocked me on whatsapp but he doesn't say anything to me. It has been four days since he unblocked me and till now, no communication has taken place.
So a few questions are on my mind...
1. Why did he unblock me? What's the purpose of it?
2. Will he take me back into his life? As a friend or as a lover?
3. Will he trust me again?
He doesn't have the guts to tell he straight that he isn't interested, so he chooses to string you along.
click to expand
Posted by ZanbeeAlright thank you for sharing your thoughts on Cancer's. It is something to consider. But I think texting him again soon, is not the best idea. Yes he replied but he was cold and did not want me to care about him anymore. Now I am confused to whether he wants me to care or to see if I would fight for him still and care or he simply doesnt want me in his life? Then why reply?He might have unblocked you to entice you to reach out to him.
1. Why did he unblock me? What's the purpose of it?
2. Will he take me back into his life? As a friend or as a lover?
3. Will he trust me again?
I very much doubt he'd be the one to reach out, since he was the one who felt wronged.
As a Cancer, I know that I can't just 'stop' feeling for someone, even after I've broken up with them.
Especially if the heartbreak is fresh.
In any situation, I feel like it's good to talk sooner about it, rather than later.
If you're truly sorry, then you have to say it.
You absolutely need to spill your heart to a Cancer.
We need to believe that you're sorry and will not betray us again.
Silence makes it works, trust me.click to expand
Posted by TaurusMarineHey. Here are the answers to your questions.
A Few questions to you...
1. Would you really like to come back into his life, foregetting you have your own life not worse than his (Why shouldn't HE not want to come into your life instead?)?
2. If there was some other great guy who didn't do all that crappy stuff your cancer did, would you STILLl want to come back to your cancer's life?
3. When you were with your cancer guy, did it make you really happy and relaxed? Did your life bacome better after he appeared in it? Emotionally as well?
4. Have you found your emotional centre and don't allow ANYONE shake its serenity? In other words, are you confident enough to make sure what you REALLY WANT from relationship?
So, I've had more questions than you still my final will be:
Would you rather be with him or move on and find someone really worthy and making you happy regardless how much time it can take?
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result (c)
1.Yes I want back into his life and I think he wants back into my life, cause if he didn't want to, he would not have unblocked me on whatsapp. I found that as a way of trying for communication.
2. I will always want him. Despite his flaws, there are many good things about him too. After all we are only human.
3. I was my happiest with him and it felt like i was finally at home. It definitely became better and it feels like i lost a part of me when he left. I know i caused pain, but i am only human. Once is a mistake and should be forgiven. Twice is something to think about. This is my mindset.
4. My home was my emotional centre and when he came into my life, he became my emotional centre. Just being with him, made it feel peaceful inside. I want happiness for him and me in this relationship.
I would rather be with him, because somehow it just feels right. I know that would not just put everything else into place. But i do not know if i would want another guy.
Posted by NamyHow do i get back my hold on him? Please advice.
I hate texting...honestly the fact that he's replying counts for something cause I ignore ignore ignore. I mean sometimes I rather make myself unavailable than respond to a text.
You've texted, you've tried...it's time to wait. Stop with the sorry here and there, it's TOO MUCH, starting to sound like it's not sincere. Wait another 2days, then you could just say Hello.
Prepare to get your heartbroken, that's the difference between you two. His mind is set, he knows he can live with or without you, he is prepared for whatever. You have no hold on him, that's what you need to work on.
Posted by Shellyd238I have thought about this as well. But what if even after 30 days, it doesn't get any better? Then what? Yea i agree i should not have texted but at least now i know that he is badlPosted by PhenjxI think you should not have reached out again. You need to go no contact. I'd say do not reach out to him sooner than 30 days, now that you've reached out twice and he didn't respond well to it.Posted by Shellyd238He has read it. Several times i wouldnt know. I decided to text him and here is the convo.Posted by PhenjxI'm not familiar with whatsapp but I assume that means he's read it several times?
I sent the apology text... He saw it. Had double ticks and blue ticks... No response. He hasn't blocked me back again, some what a good sign? But no communication still.
Any ideas?
Just be patient, he's thinking. He's trying to decided what he wants, and you need to let him have that space and time. you have to go no contact, let him miss you. it might take a while, but if he still has feelings he'll get curious, and start peaking out of his shell.
You could certainly try taking the other advise and go see him, but remember that you 2 were no longer in a relationship BECAUSE it was moving too fast. Personally I'm not sure that showing up at his place, if he's still upset, is going to be a smart idea. You'll basically be confronting him, and if he's not ready to talk, he'll go into flight or fight mode, and then you'll probably end up arguing again. But that's just my opinion, I don't know you're relationship dynamic.
I asked, "How are you?" for which he answered, "What exactly do you want to know?". I said, "the truth" and he replies, "nothing". I ask, "How come? Aren't you well?" and he says, "Its not your concern.". I ask, "even as a friend. and i will always care." and he says, "even as a friend". I ask "why till this extent?" and he says, "I have problems trusting people who have no secrets." and i answer back, "ok. that's fair enough. well i am really sorry about that. no matter what my reason may be for doing it. it was wrong." He says "Good night" and i respond with a "Goodnight".
It's a short conversation. Please do tell me what you think.
That's all of the advise I have at this point. No more contact from you. Spend your time making yourself better, go out and do things, that take your mind off him. If you keep reaching out, you'll seem pathetic to him, and he'll know he has the upper-hand to make you suffer as long as he wants to.click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaI wish i could easily say the same thing as well. But i like to look for the better in people, always hoping that they would one day realise that i did not mean any harm.
Stop trying to handle him. If a person wants to be with you, they will show it. You wouldn't be questioning it.
I'm sorry, I have little patience for this behavior. I have had nothing but users and jerks in my life, so I'm sensitive to this. Please don't waste your time on someone like this.
Posted by CruellaWhiteYou are not the first person to say this. My closest friends who knows the details, have said the same thing. Yet i continue to try and see the best and hope he will realise something soon.
He doesn't deserve you. That's my opinion. Although I don't know the ins and outs.
Posted by KoniuchaThank you. Thank you very much for commenting and giving your honest input for my situation. I truly appreciate it very much.Posted by PhenjxI wish you luck.Posted by KoniuchaI wish i could easily say the same thing as well. But i like to look for the better in people, always hoping that they would one day realise that i did not mean any harm.
Stop trying to handle him. If a person wants to be with you, they will show it. You wouldn't be questioning it.
I'm sorry, I have little patience for this behavior. I have had nothing but users and jerks in my life, so I'm sensitive to this. Please don't waste your time on someone like this.
And I always look for the good in people.click to expand
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1. Why did he unblock me? What's the purpose of it?
2. Will he take me back into his life? As a friend or as a lover?
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