Victim or Uninterested?

I said I was done w this fool - he comes back again and while I am yelling at screaming about bad behavior, he asks if I want to see one anoother. I say no, since, I refuse for him to make me crazy!!! He then starts singing Crazy by K-Ci and Jojo. Immediatly after this, he tells me I am the one to blame, I never call him, act as though I need nobody...

A few days have passed since we last spoke - I guess, I wanted him to ask me to come over again, call with a follow-up.

What is he doing here?

he's transferring his bad energy onto you. CUT OFF CONTACT!!!

Will you marry me?

I don't know the story behind all of this, but from what I can gather, it looks like he's blowing you off. He knows he's driving you crazy and he's got you wrapped around his finger. He's not taking you seriously. He must have you mapped out.

He is manipulating your feelings and that is not fair.
he knows how you feel about him (they can perceive it) so he knows what to do , what to say.
Don't yield to him again, he will play around with you until he gets uninterested again and then the cycle repeats.
Don't go back to the same BS.
Im so radical when it comes to guys, I NEVER NEVER go back , not even for sex. Have never gone back to an ex. There are new guys always. If you believe there are of course, and if you believe you deserver better. Stay positive and work on your self-esteem.
Men hate doormats and they use them, they dont care deeply for them, and when they dont care for you they can be veyr selfish thinkin of their needs, either for inflating his ego , for sex, or whatever he needs from you, but I agree with King Crab, he is sending you bad energy, making you feel bad , and the cycle repeats...BREAK THE PATTERN!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN , IM SURE...NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

Whatever we have had going on, it's beeen years...

The back and forth.

I tell him not to return to me.

He still does.

I tell him to do whatever he wants to do, I do not care - we are not sleeping w one another. And he knows, I have said, I am not about to get my heart broken messing w him... He replies we should wait until the time is right.

Read my last post about commitment, and then running off...

His idea, not mine - after we had already parted for the night.

Wishbear...dear. He knows that you still care. Just by saying that "you dont want your heart broken" means exactly you die for him....empower yourself.

Don't play the victim anymore. Scare him off..tell him you have moved on and have another guy. Empower yourself!
He will lose and find another victim to play with...
Don't let him manipulate you!!!!
start working on your self-esteem...affirmations, the law of attraction...go to the gym, get your hair done, get beautiful, powerful, and dignified. You will soon call in to your life a guy worht your time...

Pisces:

Thanxs for your replies. 🙂

I am not a victim, but am very much saddened by what goes on w us, or, should I say, does not.

I already go to the gym, am in top form, beautified...

He is well-aware, I have many boyfriends.

In fact, he payed me a compliment the other night and told me his friends would run to the phone if they knew he was speaking w me.

Trust when I tell you, I do not chase him, but perhaps, he feels that I do care, even when I most times tell him I do not want anything serious, in the final analysis.

For the Record, since we have known one another, never once, did I push.

He pushed once w the commitment talk.

Jack in the Box is just about right, and the same goes for me. 🙂

He says I am very confusing. —

I have a fear of abandonment, Wineaux, and this relationship seems safe.

I was open for half a second when he spoke about being together, building, and then he ran... Now, I am running...

You make valid points.

Posted by wineaux
@wishbear - i went back and read through all of your posts. over 2 years you guys have been on this ride. has it been worth it? here's the scenario as i understand it:

crab: drops crumbs
bear: eats crumbs
crab: runs
bear: pushes
crab: drops crumbs
bear: eats crumbs
crab: runs
bear: pushes

do you see a pattern here? how many times does he have to drop crumbs/dangle the carrot and then pull away before you completely lose yourself? are you getting anything in return? do you want to be in a committed relationship with someone who can't respect you enough to give you what you need? is he fulfilling you by teasing you with the possibility of committing? who does that! fleeting moments of happiness do not equate to a stable romantic relationship. if you were dating (on a regular basis) and building the blocks it requires to grow love that knows no boundaries, then great! but you haven't written or said anything like that 😢 he sounds really flighty. like perhaps he doesn't even know what he wants. he reminds me of a jack-in-the-box...he pops up and BAM! only to go back in the box.

it's time to reflect here wishbear. is this what you really want? and if it is, why? what has he done for you that makes him THE ONE? 2 years is an awful lot of time to give yourself away to someone that only gives back 15% . let's do some math here: 2yrs=365daysx2=730days. how many of those 730days have you spent together? if it's less than 73days, than you're in a 10% relationship. FUCK that. please do yourself a favor and think about your heart here sugar. it's the only one you have and it deserves to be given to someone that is worthy of you.

Wineaux I like yur style . I may need one of those tough love conversations someday.
Awesome! =)

I need to private message you, just in case.

He isn't evolved in the least.

There are so many issues he must work on. All I hear are his complaints, every now and again when he is honest about what he wants from life. He is not exactly functioning at full potential.

This is safe for me because I do not need to give of myself entirely.

Posted by Wishbear


This is safe for me because I do not need to give of myself entirely.

Then what are you complaining about? It's going nowhere.. and you like it that way.

You have abandonment issues? Well! Pull out of this mess now and work on yourself first, please.

I dealt with abandonment issues myself many years ago. I got myself into a relationship and I was completely useless as a partner. I was a hot mess and dragged someone else into it. That relationship ended and I stayed single and celibate (one of the hardest things i've ever done is purposefully refrain from sex) for 1.5 years post break-up. I started working on my problems during my relationship but so much damage had been done that it was not salvageable.

Anyway, the truth is that your issues will probably never go away completely. You're just going to have to find effective and healthy ways of dealing with it so that you don't project those feelings onto any future relationship.

Mermaid:

No, he was not in tune, but kept on... 🙂

Shellshocker:

That would be correct.

Ninja:

Am I crazy, not wanting to work on those issues—

The things I have observed, human nature, I feel as though I do not desire to truly be w someone and give whole-heartedly. I may talk a good game, from time to time, but I don't proceed.

It doesn't matter, although my heart tells me otherwise...

Wish bear!
then it is not clear to me what you wish for..sorry!
You want him to finally commit but you won't...
why do you want that?
I dont get it..

Pisces:

I do everything I can to sabotage love, because I would rather be the cause of pain first rather than last.

When we first met, I confided trust issues - he said things with us would be different, he would show me what it is to love.

Assuming I believed his words, why then, does he insist upon not earning my trust, per se? All I need are a few phone calls, not all day, everyday, just a little.

do you think he's going to commit to someone who admits to doing everything they can to sabotage love?
he probably comes back to test the waters, sees they're still icy... and bounces

you're the one playing victim...

I know, one typically gets what they give. 🙂

But I thought he would be wise to my "game" by now and be man enough to put his foot down.

I am nothing more than stuck on him, my heart wants it to be him, only him...

Posted by Wishbear
I know, one typically gets what they give. 🙂

But I thought he would be wise to my "game" by now and be man enough to put his foot down.

you should listen to yourself

and he is wise to your "game". doesn't like it... and won't play by your rules

hence, why you are here on this forum and he's off living his life...

Perhaps.