Cancer male, ignoring tricks.

Okay:

I've known the guy for about 5 years. We had a relationship for 7 months but that ended almost two years ago - his choice.

We had a patch where we argued quite a bit and stopped contact. Contact resumed in January this year. We've gotten on very well. We're in regular contact, every couple of days or so, he lives extremely close to me, but not immediately on my doorstep and I work in an office right next to his atm, which wasn't the case to begin with. He tells me in June he still has feelings for me.

I tell him today by text, because I've been away off sick for a while - "I miss you, yanno - "you" nuts boutcha xx". (He'd get this, he knows it's about him as a person, not as a bit of ass. It's our language for appreciating each other).

No reply.

I've sent nice stuff before, nothing mushy, nothing to indicate I'd like a relationship with him again, just nice stuff, positive stuff, because he's a stress-head and likes the support.

The ignoring my text thing - it confuses me. One minute he's happy to chat away, we have a laugh. the next, he's ignoring me.

What gives, it was hardly a text that said "I want to give you a blow job in the car park and marry you tomorrow".

I have noticed that if he's hearing something he doesn't like, he responds fast, usually with anger. When he's hearing things that are uncomfortable or make him emotional, he'll be silent. he's quite shy by his own admission.

Thing is, me being a blunt Aqua - I never know what is seen by him as friendly and what is seen as too "emotion-laden".

Sigh, confusing Crab. I don't even know if I've explained it so you can understand it - it's 3.20am here and I'm tired.

Hit me with the thoughts, people, I'm all out of ideas.

I'd love to know too. My crab sent my a dozen beautiful roses last Monday. Card said "Just Because." I texted to thank him. I let him know I really appreciated it (to make him feel good and encourage this behavior). He's been MIA since except a drunk text exchange Friday night. Why send roses and then run away?

As a crabby chica...I'll answer texts if I feel like chatting it up. But if you've been sick a while and have not texted him for say a few or more days, he could be hurt, which then can become an attitude very quickly.

I know when I don't hear from my guy for a few days and then he sends a witty text...I'm like "uff, he can wait for an answer!"

When I get good and ready then I'll send a text and it will be the sweetest thing, we're moody like that 😉

Posted by BriannaLeo
I'd love to know too. My crab sent my a dozen beautiful roses last Monday. Card said "Just Because." I texted to thank him. I let him know I really appreciated it (to make him feel good and encourage this behavior). He's been MIA since except a drunk text exchange Friday night. Why send roses and then run away?

He sends you flowers, you text him. Do the math.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo
I'd love to know too. My crab sent my a dozen beautiful roses last Monday. Card said "Just Because." I texted to thank him. I let him know I really appreciated it (to make him feel good and encourage this behavior). He's been MIA since except a drunk text exchange Friday night. Why send roses and then run away?

He sends you flowers, you text him. Do the math.

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True dat....mr.crabby you made me lol!!!!

Um, my cancer bf would appreciate getting a "thank you" in text form just as much as a phone call. So, I dunno what you're getting at there.

He is also responsive to the mushy stuff because it's from me. He is interested in me and when I did it prior to us being official (we did start out as FWB and carried on like that for months) he was still very responsive. That's because he wanted to be with me and would take any form of affection from me that I would give.

Now, I have a cap friend that is like the cancer being described. He and I had an intense attraction to each other but we drove each other crazy at the same time. Even though he knew I was very expressive, he couldn't handle it from me... because he ultimately didn't wanna be with me in a relationship. He lusted (big time!) but he didn't want to respond to my verbal affections because he thought it might lead me on. He did not feel that way toward me in a romantic sense.

He sends you flowers, you text him. Do the math.

We were both at work, was the only was to let him know I received them. It wasn't an issue because he asked me to send him a pic so he could see how they came out.

Posted by BriannaLeo

He sends you flowers, you text him. Do the math.

We were both at work, was the only was to let him know I received them. It wasn't an issue because he asked me to send him a pic so he could see how they came out.

So what happened? You showed them to him and he was happy? Then what?

What a great forum.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

He sends you flowers, you text him. Do the math.

We were both at work, was the only was to let him know I received them. It wasn't an issue because he asked me to send him a pic so he could see how they came out.

So what happened? You showed them to him and he was happy? Then what?

He said "glad you like them." I said "i love them and you!" He said "i love you too." Then disappeared.

What were the plans for the night?

(Note to self: Why must I pry every fucking bit of information from this chick? More importantly, why do I care?)

Posted by mr.crabby
What were the plans for the night?

(Note to self: Why must I pry every fucking bit of information from this chick? More importantly, why do I care?)

There were never any plans for the night. I'm not sure what you want me to volunteer, I can only answer your questions...—

Oh, ok.

replace "mr.crabby" with "anyone else".

Aqua girl, this is normal behaviour if the Crab hasn't opened up yet or is afraid of rejection or if he has Cappy elements in his chart.
Yesterday I was chatting with my guy about this.
We were talking about his Cappy Moon and the coldness that it gives him. He admitted to it, and said that he was very expressive when it came to cursing and anger expression...but when it came to emotional expressions , then he felt vulnerability was an issue so that was more difficult for him. There you go..this is why he will respond to a text he feels angry about, or even a practical text...but will be more difficult for hiim to answer an emotional one.

Posted by gemtaur
*Communication goddess 🙂 pops by on magic carpet*

lol maybe this is why you're having trouble? ...communication?

Brianna, In order for Mr. Crabby to get a sense of why he might be behaving/reacting this way, you need to provide him with ENOUGH DETAILS, CONTEXT, for him to be able to piece together potential reason(s)...other than he gave me roses i texted i love you and then he disappeared since drunken text. FILL IN THE DETAILS so he gets the PICTURE of the events that took place between rose delivery and drunken text.

I didn't think it was appropriate to hijack the original poster's thread with all my background information. As far as the "events that took place between the rose delivery and drunken text:" it's very simple, I texted him the next day (just hi, how are you), no reply. I texted him Thursday, saying the roses were a step forward, but ignoring me now is 3 steps backward, are we on dancing with the stars? cha cha cha!" Friday, he texted very late after work, I called him out for being drunk. Saturday morning he apologized for the drunk text.

That is the extent of contact from last Monday (roses received) to this moment.

I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

Posted by gemtaur
Ok. Mr. Crabby will hopefully chime in. But here are my thoughts.

I would have been hurt if I didn't receive a phone call in addition to the text. A text is so cold and distant. He sent you a BOUQUET at work! After work, could you have called him to thank him? If yes, then, this might be part of the answer. This might explain the no reply. This isn't Cancer-specific, I think anyone would expect the same.

Then, your aggressive and sarcastic tone compounded the problem since he's still hurting from the bouquet incident and you've yet to figure it out.

Aaawww. And then he went and got drunk. He was clearly hurt. A drinking Cancer is a hurting Cancer. And he apologized the next day.

That's what I've got...Mr. Crabby?

If we were phone people, I would have called. I looked at my activity log (blackberry holds months and months worth) there are almost no calls exchanged between us. Our work schedules are opposite, when I'm off he's at work, we text exclusively for convenience. He's not hurt about a call. I thanked him over text with CAPS, hearts and exclamation points, if anything he freaked out at how happy and appreciative I was.

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

I apologize you felt you had to pull information out of me. Again, I was only trying to keep it short and about the *topic* posted by the original poster and not about my *personal* situation. I didn't think anyone would reply to me specifically, as you did. Calling me an f-ing c-word is extremely out of line. You could have messaged me for more background information.

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

I apologize you felt you had to pull information out of me. Again, I was only trying to keep it short and about the *topic* posted by the original poster and not about my *personal* situation. I didn't think anyone would reply to me specifically, as you did. Calling me an f-ing c-word is extremely out of line. You could have messaged me for more background information.

click to expand

Alright, let's settle for douchebag.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

I apologize you felt you had to pull information out of me. Again, I was only trying to keep it short and about the *topic* posted by the original poster and not about my *personal* situation. I didn't think anyone would reply to me specifically, as you did. Calling me an f-ing c-word is extremely out of line. You could have messaged me for more background information.

Alright, let's settle for douchebag.

click to expand

You know why I didn't provide the details and now I have...what is the issue?

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

I apologize you felt you had to pull information out of me. Again, I was only trying to keep it short and about the *topic* posted by the original poster and not about my *personal* situation. I didn't think anyone would reply to me specifically, as you did. Calling me an f-ing c-word is extremely out of line. You could have messaged me for more background information.

Alright, let's settle for douchebag.

You know why I didn't provide the details and now I have...what is the issue?

click to expand

The details are the issue. I fear that you expect sympathy for what is happening with the guy. Tell us it isn't so.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by BriannaLeo

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

I apologize you felt you had to pull information out of me. Again, I was only trying to keep it short and about the *topic* posted by the original poster and not about my *personal* situation. I didn't think anyone would reply to me specifically, as you did. Calling me an f-ing c-word is extremely out of line. You could have messaged me for more background information.

Alright, let's settle for douchebag.

You know why I didn't provide the details and now I have...what is the issue?

The details are the issue. I fear that you expect sympathy for what is happening with the guy. Tell us it isn't so.

click to expand

Insight, not sympathy. Why would someone send roses and then go MIA? It's a question more than a complaint. I would reserve sympathy for something serious. I don't consider not replying to a text as serious. I've known him for 14 years this is very minor.

Posted by gemtaur
Brianna, I'm ONLY pointing this out because I think it will help enlighten your situation with your Crab.

"You could have messaged me for more background information."

YOU are the one looking for help. Yet, you have a sense of entitlement. If you don't want to hijack the thread but would like help, then YOU should PM Mr. Crabby. What does Mr. Crabby owe you? He's just being nice by replying, he doesn't owe you anything.

I think you carry this sense of entitlement around with your Crab and it's causing these issues in your relationship. You have to shelve it and your pride if you want to get anywhere with him. Being defensive is doing a disservice to yourself. So STOP and THINK and you might just come up with the answers as to why your Crab is being non-responsive.

And I don't care if you're texting people. When someone receives a BOUQUET a phone call must follow. You go out of your way to show your appreciation. End of story.

I'm a Gem and I feel like slapping you upside your head. I CAN only imagine what a Crab must deal with.

I really hope you reflect on this. It's meant to help, not insult or anything.

Hopefully Mr. Crabby has better luck with you.

I won't message Mr. Crabby, he's done nothing but curse at me-no help at all. This is hardly the first time he's sent me roses, I've never called. Honestly, it's not that.

Posted by BriannaLeo
I texted him Thursday, saying the roses were a step forward, but ignoring me now is 3 steps backward, are we on dancing with the stars? cha cha cha!" Friday, he texted very late after work, I called him out for being drunk. Saturday morning he apologized for the drunk text.

That's all you need to know, really. No need for messages or details.

I'm ashamed for derailing the thread uselessly now. See what happens when I try to help? I just out a douchebag. 😢

Crabby your Virgo Moon shows!!!! 🙂

Anyway I agree a phone call should have followed the roses but well....we put up with so much crap from you Crabs that it is not a cardinal sin not having phoned...
And the conciliatory Fish says "Dont fight anymore" 🙂

I don't know u guys, I think there is more to it than her texting a thanks. I don't think my cancer would get mad about that (of course considering everyone else's thoughts here I guess anything is possible) Also he communicated and told her he loved her right after she texted. Brianna, maybe there is something u didn't include in your story because you thought it wasn't a factor. Or maybe he was just taking some space, my cancer has done this when we first got involved, even when things were fine between us.

Mmmm. How about baking him something he really loves and slipping a 'Thank you for the roses, here's what will happen soon' note with them? Just a thought.

I know. I was thinking cookies or a pumpkin roll. 😢

Posted by virgodreamz
I don't know u guys, I think there is more to it than her texting a thanks. I don't think my cancer would get mad about that (of course considering everyone else's thoughts here I guess anything is possible) Also he communicated and told her he loved her right after she texted. Brianna, maybe there is something u didn't include in your story because you thought it wasn't a factor. Or maybe he was just taking some space, my cancer has done this when we first got involved, even when things were fine between us.

This morning I sent him a pic of the last rose that is still alive and well after 10 days! I reminded him of how I appreciated the roses and asked if he was ok with my thank you texts. He said "huh, how could you have called me from work?" He also reminded me that we have different phone carriers and try not to call and use up our minutes. We determined this so long ago, I forgot that was one of the many reasons that not calling him had no effect in this scenario.

"It's often the little things, the little gestures, that go a long way. But maybe that's just the Taurus in me"

Nah, that's the woman in you.

Dried roses are so, so pretty. Smart women that love men, UNITE! We can use our powers for good and not evil. 😉

Posted by mr.crabby
I wasn't going to comment further, but she sounds like such a fucking cunt that I just had to.

Hey! No need for that!

Okay, re the flowews?

It's a big gesture, it's a romantic gesture. A call would have been FAR more acceptable.

People need to stop relying on electronic means to conduct a relationship. Step outside that computer/keypad square and stand out from the crowd by actually calling or meeting - especially if it's for something special.

Anyhow - moving on....

Cancer males, as beautiful as they are....drive me nuts at times with the lack of balls.

Love them, want to slap them, love them, want to squeeze them with love, love them, want to give them safety (and a set of balls).

🙂

I really don't see the point of being with a man if you think he doesn't have balls.

Posted by mr.crabby
I really don't see the point of being with a man if you think he doesn't have balls.

I don't want to be with him. I just enjoy the friendship but the ignoring tricks piss me off.

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by mr.crabby
I really don't see the point of being with a man if you think he doesn't have balls.

I don't want to be with him. I just enjoy the friendship but the ignoring tricks piss me off.

click to expand

I meant anyone, really. You're not the only one to say this.

Posted by mr.crabby
I really don't see the point of being with a man if you think he doesn't have balls.

F
Maybe we could play with those pincers instead hahahahhaha the horny Fish here!

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by mr.crabby
I really don't see the point of being with a man if you think he doesn't have balls.

I don't want to be with him. I just enjoy the friendship but the ignoring tricks piss me off.

I meant anyone, really. You're not the only one to say this.

click to expand

Oh, okay.

I guess some women prefer to wear the pants and have a puppy instead of a man.

I prefer equality so the no-balls thing is a huge turn off.

*yawn*

Posted by mr.crabby
*yawn*

You're quite rude. Do you have a reason for this? It's pretty immature.

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by mr.crabby
I
I guess some women prefer to wear the pants and have a puppy instead of a man.

I prefer equality so the no-balls thing is a huge turn off.

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Aqua...then why are so so frustrated at this guy? he has no balls..he ignores you..why bother even opening a thread about him?

I guess when we don't get what we want out of people we start critizicing them...if he did love you if he did give you attention it would be a different story. But because he doesn't..he gets ripped ....

A committed Crab will give you equality and balls and all...if you touch his heart and show him you are there for him. If he doesn't care, he will disappear, ignore, use you and all things we already know...

Posted by NZAqua

Posted by mr.crabby
*yawn*

You're quite rude. Do you have a reason for this? It's pretty immature.

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Immaturity. AKA not buying into other people's shit.

Aqua...then why are so so frustrated at this guy? he has no balls..he ignores you..why bother even opening a thread about him?

I guess when we don't get what we want out of people we start critizicing them...if he did love you if he did give you attention it would be a different story. But because he doesn't..he gets ripped ....

A committed Crab will give you equality and balls and all...if you touch his heart and show him you are there for him. If he doesn't care, he will disappear, ignore, use you and all things we already know...

She doesn't want to be with him. She is just concerned about her friendship and simply wanted to understand his behavior. There is no emotional connection. Aqua is the sign of friendship. We value our friends despite how emotionally unstable and chaotic they are. We may not want you romantically, kick you out the bed, sexually (laughs), but hey...there is never a grudge held by an Aqua. Come on everyone. Get over yourselves.

Posted by mr.crabby
*yawn*

Immaturity. AKA not buying into other people's shit.

Sh_it is only in the eyes of the beholder who can't buy into reality.

The reality?

She simply doesn't want him.
It's not that abstract.
She stated it point blank!
Get over yourselves!

When a woman doesn't get what she wants from someone, she critisizes him. It's that simple.

"He should be trying to make me love him, and impressing me, and..."

Fuck off, Princess.

Posted by mr.crabby

"He should be trying to make me love him, and impressing me, and..."

If you can find the actual Quote that NZAqua posted that asserted such an absurd 'clinginess.'
Then I will personally kiss your Crabby ass.

I bet you couldn't. Because it was never posted nor was there an assertion made.
Thus proving my point.
Your ignorance is quite entertaining, but I'm growing bored.
Presenting facts will crack your hard shell.
Hiding in your shell with innuendos is quite cowardice.

Who the hell are you?

Posted by mr.crabby
Who the hell are you?

Mrs. Crabby.

I will match you sarcasm for sarcasm.

*chirp chirp chirp*

*laughs*

(Oh and by the way, you still have not posted your proof where you claimed NZAqua was being clingy).

I was implying something by my post.