Virgo guy / Cancer guy

Yeah have fun with this guys....
I'm a Virgo male and met a Cancer guy Jan of this year. We fell for each other from the get go. The problem was, I liked him so much I kinda went a little...ok a lot...over the top with him. I mean I basicly told him I loved him after only a month or so. So of course this really scared him off. Through the last 10 months he has always asked if I could please give him time,space and to just calm down. I was never able to do this longer then a couple days and then my over the top behavior would kick right back in. The interesting thing,here we are 10 months later and this whole thing is still going. I finally walked away from him on Sept 1st and then he sends me a text yesterday saying hello. Through the 10 months (even toward the end when things were really crazy),he always took my calls, always responded to my text (within mins most times) and wrote back with sometimes very long e-mails. He has been saying for the last 3-4 months that he is really turned off (with reason...I agree) and he just doesn't see me as more then a friend. So this is why I am here, cause I'm not really buying it. If some dude did this to me and I had no feelings for him, I would be running for the hills as fast as I could. I mean, I finally gave him "space" on Sept 1st...perfect time for him to just bow out/disappear and then he calls me three weeks later and claims it is to say "hi". I catch him staring at me at the gym. If I am working out in a certain area he will come and work out close enough that I can see him. It's really strange! It also seems strange after reading many of these Cancer topics that he has not ever shut me out. I mean if I contact him, he is normally quick to respond. He also has agreed and gone to dinner with me three times and this is after I went fairly "nuts on his ass". Yeah, I have it pretty bad. No excuse for my behavior but in all honesty, I have never been so in love in my life. Even his moods make me love him more. I just want to give him a giant hug and tell him everything will be fine. So Cancers...whats up here with him— I mean don't you think he is somewhat hooked to still be communicating and willing to even go to dinner with me after so many months of crazy shit? Advice people please. He is the one I want and I need to turn this around.

um. ok.

Sorry double posted and thought I was just removing the one.

btw wanted to add...Almost every date I go on, I am refered to as their "dream man" within a few dates. That is why this dude has caught me so off guard. I wonder sometimes if he thinks I'm a "player" or just too good to be true. I'm a romantic, that's for sure and I know there are not many of us left out there. I get his need for space. I have also learned his concept of time is very different then mine. I mean when I see something I want, I go for it. Nothing will stop me. He almost seems to be testing me, feeling me out and maybe just plain scared. I am 38 and he is 31.

Hey 100percentVirgo

I'm not a Cancer male, but I am a female and maybe I can shed some light on this. I do think he deff does care for you very deeply, and whether or not it's romantic is unclear. I am leaning towards it being more romantic in nature. However I also know that if someone told me they loved me in just a month I??d FREAK out, EVEN if I felt the same way. I??d freak out that they would leave, that they don't take love seriously, or that they throw the word around. Oddly enough though I will say that in general the Virgo Cancer pairing is quite magnetic, and I know other couples that are glued at the hip. I have an Aqua ex (with Virgo Moon) and when we started dating way back last year in October I knew I loved him in December and told him I could see myself falling in love with him if things continued on the way they were. Obviously this freaked him out BIG TIME (and it didn't help that he is a SUN in Aqua), but months later I was still in love with him, so I very much so meant it. So I know your feelings are genuine. You also have to analyze your actions, are you dating other people? That to me (if I were him) would show me you aren't really all that into me. Plus if he thinks you??re a player he could be holding back because he thinks you??re in it for a quick fling (which would relate to you saying —I love you?? so quickly).


All in all I do think he feels something for you, but he's not convinced you??re completely into him or for real. P.S. I can only speak for myself but I ONLY cut off someone when they hurt me or betray me. Otherwise I'm a very loyal person.

Thanks guys

@CoCoMe10...wow...thank you! I think you just hit the nail on the head which was also my "gut feeling" in all this. I think he started to test me the first few months and I never passed. I was always way over the top with my feelings for him and never gave him space when he asked for it. Beyond those things, I def think he sees me as a playboy/player. After the 1st three months when we kept butting heads, he said we should just back off and be friends. Within an hour of that I was on a date!!! I was freaking hurt but I'm sure he did not see it that way. He even texted me during the date and said "nice to see how quickly you move on. And the last time we had dinner together a couple months ago, my phone was blowing up from the min we sat down from all diff. guys. Yeah, probably does not make him feel too safe with me. What can I say, I'm a handsome sought after Virgo...that shouldn't be held against me! LOL. Wouldn't he realize if we were just friends it is healthy and normal for me to date around? I was just killing time in fact. My mind was on him every time.
I don't know...decided today with all that has happened, the best thing for me to do is just give lots of space, be his friend when he comes to me and hope he finds his way back to me someday when he is ready.
So my questions to you...
1.If he did/does see me as a player, can this ever be turned around? I am not at all in fact. I am 100% a die hard romantic and NEVER have hookups or one nighters. He knows this!!!
2. After all of my over the top antics and even really MEAN things I have said to him (out of hurt), if he is still willing to have dinner/drinks with me, text me back within mins of texting him...Do you think there is something there?

cont...

3. I gave him the Virgo freeze out on Sept 2nd. I ended all communication and even switched gyms. On Sept 22nd he texted me (1st time he has EVER reached out to me). He said hi...wondering how I was doing and asked if I ever went to the gym anymore. This made me think that he was looking for me there and never saw me. We texted on and off all day. The next day I left him a vm saying I still had feelings and if he did not have them for me that I needed more time to get him out of my system. He texted me and said he understood and that he only texted me to be "nice" and be "friendly". I personally think he was saving face. I mean why "invite" someone back into your life that you know is nuts about you if you have no interest. My gut feelings always tell me the same thing...he is testing,unsure and super scared of me. This is the real deal and he knows it. I think he is scared if he gives the green light he will actually have to start feeling something.

Sorry AND....He had told me the first night we met how he would LOVE but did not think he would ever find a guy that would understand him and that would last. He thinks two guys do not ever work out. I know for the most part they don't...hell in this day and age male/female rarely make it. Wouldn't he just jump on this chance with me? I not only get him but what I dont understand I am willing to learn. There is a part of me also that thinks he wants someone more low key...maybe less attractive then him (He is very attractive). It seems sometimes like he is bothered that I get more attention then him. Is this also a Cancer thing? Like he needs to be the star of the show. I really could careless about this sort of thing but it just comes to me. I would gladly let his star shine brighter but I don't think that is something one can control.

Hey redlobster...thanks...ummm high school...yeah pretty much and that's from his actions. When I like someone/have feelings, I just go with it. Life is too short to play these little games. I adore him, moods/weirdness and all...always will but after 10 months of this bs, I am done. It's amazing to me that he is SO scared to have his heart broken he can't trust the one person that would never break it. He would rather go home with some dude from a bar that will never call him again....very strange.
"Full of myself"...maybe a little. I do consider myself the ultimate catch. Not for looks but that my heart is truely open to love someone. And yes he is one hot fucker...lol...it makes it really hard to be "just friends". Oh man...I still love the hell out of Cancers (male and female). The best and most caring people. I'll find the right one. As much as I say I'm done with them, I'm not. 🙂
The STRANGEST thing...
I looked up every major Hollywood crush that I had growing up (male and female). They are all CANCERS! Looked up the current ones, all cancers and two Virgos...go figure.

Lessons, lessons, lessons??_don't you just love them? :-) Spirit sure does have a way of waking us up to some of them. I realize that I'm not saying anything new here??_it's all been said before and will be said again??_in —anything?? I say??_we??re all students and teachers to each other. However, I do know how hard it can be to see something in our own backyard. The Universe provides us information from everywhere, we just have to stay conscious and pay attention to it??_recognize it when it's given. It's often subtle and not like a bolt of lightning. Although, I know I myself sometimes need to be hit with a thunderbolt! LOL

So, a few things to think about today??_things I'm not aware of and maybe you??re not even clear about, yet??_what exactly do you want from him/this situation/this experience? Long-term, short-term??_something in between? Are you truly feeling there is something so special and deep there, you see/feel it as something permanent?

Next??_why, if you are, are you in a hurry? If so, what are you in such a hurry to get to in this relationship? What's the rush? This is why I mention "enjoying the dance." Remember, he's on his own journey too, just like we all are. He has his lessons, life experiences.

What's your energy like when you??re around him? Anxious, fast-paced, nervous? Can you slow yourself down??_breathe??_relax? Notice the big difference in the two. How you talk, how you move with the different energies. Do you find a person with just a bit too high energy, anxiety, fast-paced a comfortable and attractive person to be around? Or, more of a patient, slow-moving, confident person more attractive? I'm not talking about a fun, laughing, high-energy??_more of the nervous, anxious type. And, even when we —think?? that we??re hiding a more negative energy, it can still be picked up on by others.

Faags?

Posted by sikkario
Faags?

I take it you're not British.

What are you like a 2 yo? Ummm...sure A F*G. LOL. I'm actually bisexual but F*G works. Yup...you know...successful, good looking, clean, dress well, take care of my body and my mind. The guys that make your women drool and the ones that make you so INSECURE you have to make silly comments like calling someone a F*G.

Posted by 100percentvirgo
What are you like a 2 yo? Ummm...sure A F*G. LOL. I'm actually bisexual but F*G works. Yup...you know...successful, good looking, clean, dress well, take care of my body and my mind. The guys that make your women drool and the ones that make you so INSECURE you have to make silly comments like calling someone a F*G.

His post is not a reason for you to fail as well.

And how did I do that? Nothing but the truth...no name calling. 😉

Posted by 100percentvirgo
And how did I do that? Nothing but the truth...no name calling. 😉

The truth hurts more than name-calling, sometimes. I'm so afraid my girlfriend would rather be fucked by a fag than by me. You shouldn't have brought it up. Not cool.

Hey...if you can dish it learn to take it.

😢

Well, it's been several months....
The Cancer in question moved to L.A. a week before x-mas. We met the night before, I was able to say my sorries and give him a necklace as a going away/x-mas gift.
Since then...
He texted me on x-mas to wish me "Merry Christmas" and said he had been thinking of me the night before. He told me he really loved the necklace I got him and that it was the only going away/xmas gift he recieved outside of family.

Then, on New Years Eve, he texted me at 4 to midnight his time to wish me a Happy New Years. I kinda took this as a good sign seeing as he was out with friends at a bar and that he was thinking of me close to midnight at least.

Last night I recieved another text just asking me how I have been doing.

So...I'm just not knowing what is going on. I mean he is in a huge city, lots of nightclubs...just a whole new life in general and it seems like I may FINALLY have gotten in that boys head. We ended on a great note and I knew I hear from him but it almost seems like he may have me on his mind more then I expected.

Thoughts?

BTW...
He is a 1st decan Cancer and I am a 2nd Decan Virgo (Sept 2 ...correct—)

@MoonBunny...Yes, he has been able to see a side of me not even my mother has seen. I have cried in front of him...he knows I can be very sensitive. I also have taken him to dinner several times.
As far as the "good looking" comment...I really have always thought that could be playing a role. He said he tends to date guys that are very average. He knows a lot of guys chase me and I'm wondering if he thinks that might be trouble. I have told him many times that he is the only one I want. Hell, one year later and I'm still waiting for him....still posting on these forums.